Alternate Universe
by jesicka309
Summary: Jen has led a miserable existence until a train accident throws her into Twilight. Jen finally has the twin sister she always wanted, but will Jen's presence screw up Bella's life? Or improve it? Is there really a place for Jen in the Twilight AU?
1. Chapter 1

"Attention passengers, this train has been delayed by eight minutes. Metro apologizes for any inconvenience caused."

I huffed and sat back down on the bench, throwing my bag with everything important to me in it onto the ground. Melbourne trains sucked. They sucked really badly. I was pretty sure I spent half my life on train platforms, waiting for stupid trains that were overcrowded, dirty and smelly. Thank God I was leaving Melbourne.

As I picked up my bag again, the sky opened up and it began to rain. I smiled and thanked my lucky stars the bench was under cover. Melbourne, while dreary and cold, had been suffering from drought for nearly a decade, and only in the last year had there been an increase in rainfall. I rummaged through my bag to find the only thing that would help me survive the long train ride: my much abused copy of _Twilight_.

Yes, I am one of _those_ girls. I have read all the books several times. I have seen all the films made to date and at the 12.01 am screening times. I even read the fanfiction religiously. And yes, I think that Robert Pattinson is a babe – but only when he's dressed up like Edward. Yes, I'm really unusual like that, but what can I say? Clean cut does it better for me. And Taylor Lautner? HOT. I would have Bella's cast-offs any day. I never wanted to be Bella like everyone else, but I would do anything for just a tiny piece of _Twilight_. I never had siblings, and the idea of having a whole huge family like the Cullens was like heaven. I'd settle for one sibling, but to have several seemed amazing.

I know it's clichéd, but _Twilight_ has been my only escape from my miserable existence for a long time. Three days ago my mother had finally drunk herself into oblivion. Walking in after school and finding her dead on the living room floor wasn't exactly the "welcome home" most teenagers would get. After ten years of living with my mother's alcoholism, I guess it was a bit of a relief. I mean, I loved her, but it's not like she had ever resembled a parental figure to me. I wouldn't have to endure her drunken rages or clean up her vomit off the carpet. I could begin my own life. The only problem was, without her at home, and with several months until I would turn eighteen, I was without a guardian. Jen Porter – orphan. It sounded like a twisted version of _Annie_.

That was why I had run away. I didn't want to end up in one of those foster homes for nine months getting beat up during the day and fondled during the night. Getting out was the smart choice. I was planning to fake my age and get a job in retail. Maybe McDonalds would have me? And once I was actually eighteen, _then _I would go back and claim my house, minus the guardian situation. It wasn't ideal as the house would be sitting there for nine months empty, but that would be the same if I stayed until Child Services came. Not finishing school was also an issue, but not everyone has the Cullens to take care of finances when things are tight.

Flicking through the book to the page I was up to, I couldn't help but muse upon the differences between Bella Swan and I. She had a set of loving parents – okay, divorced, but they still loved her while I had, well, me. Yes, sad sob story there. I shuddered and wiped away a tear. Happy thoughts. My drunken mother was finally out of my life. No need to dwell on that. And dear old Dad ran out when I was three to shoot up heroin. No loss there.

At the beginning of the books she was an American high school junior. I'm in year eleven, the Aussie equivalent. Bella hated Forks and the rain, but I didn't mind rain. In fact, in a rainy place like Forks, you would never hear the phrase "water restriction" or "have shorter showers". I could shower away to my heart's content.

Bella liked classic books, and while I had a passion for reading, I didn't think Bella would enjoy books like _True Blood_ and _The Vampire Diaries_. Or maybe she would, you know, after she found out about vampires.

My thoughts were interrupted by the train pulling up in front of me. Finally. I hopped up, grabbed my bag, and squeezed onto the train headed for the city. I had to stand next to a little old lady, who sniffed when she saw the book I had clutched in my hands. While there may be "Twimoms", I doubted there were many "Twigrandmas". I shrugged off her blatant disapproval, gripped the hand rail tightly, and opened up the book again.

Bella sure messed up a lot. I mean, I loved her, but she made some really uninformed decisions. Like believing Edward didn't love her? What rubbish! And that depression she goes into during New Moon? Pathetic. Not to mention the whole "baby" debacle. Even in Twilight, her constant disbelief in Edward's love stalled the whole story line. And sacrificing herself to James? Bad decision. There were so many other ways she could have acted without rushing to the ballet studio. I'd always sympathised with characters like Rosalie and Leah more. They both knew pain, like me. They were both missing something they desperately wanted, a life that Bella was prepared to throw away.

Smiling to myself, I decided that Bella really needed a sister like me. One that could guide her through the world of vampires and werewolves. One that could steer her away from stupid decisions like walking through Port Angeles alone. I would never have let her go off on her own. If Bella were my sister, she would never internalize all her problems. She would talk to me, and then I would tell her how silly she was being, how she needed to trust me, and do the right thing. I nodded my head. I would much rather be Bella's sister than be the pathetic loser I was. Here in Melbourne, I had no one.

As I came to the realization that I would rather live in a fictional world than my own, the brakes on the train screamed, and everything went black.

"Jenny? Jenny! We're landing!"

I felt myself being shaken awake by a small warm hand. My neck was sore from its awkward position on my shoulder. I rubbed my eyes, and opened them, squinting at the light. I turned my head to look at the small, brown haired girl nudging my shoulder.

"Jen, the plane is about to land, I thought you would want to get cleaned up before they turned the seatbelt sign on."

I rubbed my head, confused. A minute ago I was on a train that was crowded and smelly. I searched my memory, and I could remember the sound of brakes screeching. That was never a good sign. I continued to rub my head, while the girl next to me watched carefully.

"Jenny, you should probably go now if you do want to clean up. You don't look so good." The girl put her hand on my forehead, and then smoothed my curls.

_Wait. Curls? Since when did I have curls?_

I sat up straighter and had a better look around me. I was on a_ plane_. _Why was I on a plane?_ Oh God. I undid my seatbelt and staggered out into the aisle. Bathroom. I needed to find a bathroom. I quickly located the cubicles and squeezed myself in. I leaned against the door, breathing hard.

I had been on a train, reading my book in relative discomfort. The train screeched and then I was on a plane with a girl who seemed familiar enough with me to know my name and to touch me without permission. I smirked. The train had probably crashed and I most likely died and ended up in some parallel universe.

_With any luck it's something good and not, I don't know, some awful psycho thriller. _

I sighed, and decided to play along for now. I would either wake up in a hospital back in Australia, which would be no fun, or I was dead and this really was a parallel universe. Either way, I was going to enjoy it while I could.

I turned to the basin and switched on the tap, splashing my face with water. As I straightened up, I suddenly stopped. _Who was that in the mirror?_

I was no longer a blonde, tan girl with blue eyes and long legs. I had long brown hair, curly, and brown eyes, and had shrunk about four inches. My mouth gaped. If I were in a parallel universe, wouldn't I keep the same appearance?

A knock on the door startled me, and I jumped, knocking my knee on the basin. _Jeez. That hurt._

"Jenny? Are you okay? Please let me in, you've been in there a while!"

I took a deep breath, and slowly opened the door to see the same face staring back at me, relief all over it.

"Have you been sick, Jen? I know how much you hate planes. The captain says we are landing in ten minutes, and I didn't know if you were okay."

Twins. We were clearly twins. A strange feeling washed over me. I had never had siblings before, let alone a twin. I smiled and stepped out of the cubicle.

"I was feeling a bit off, but now I'm feeling better. Thanks for checking on me."

My twin rolled her eyes. "Don't be ridiculous. Of course I was going to check on you. If we are going to stick it out in Forks, we are definitely going to have to keep an eye on each other."

Forks? _Oh God. _I knew what parallel universe I had stumbled into. I didn't know whether to cry or jump up and down with joy.

My twin continued back down the aisle to our seats, and I didn't know how I didn't pick it up before. I had to test my theory (though I was kicking myself for not realizing before).

"Bella?"

She turned, caught her foot on a seat, and tumbled to the floor. I laughed and rushed over. I took her arm and tried to help her up, but ended up flat on my ass as well. Chuckling, I hugged her from where we sat.

"You're right. We will need to keep an eye out for each other."

And we both laughed away. _Thank you parallel universe._


	2. Chapter 2

Note: thanks to kaydee1005 and KCerena from Project Team Beta and heavenli24 for getting chapter one looking nice. Lots of thanks needs to go to Lharkcom and siobhan'x from PTB for beta'ing this chapter. And thanks Lharkcom for being so supportive over the last few days! :D Enjoy folks!

As Bella and I buckled up and waited for the plane to land, I began to mull over my situation. I was living out every fan girl's dream – I was in Twilight. I'd read this fan fiction countless times. Girl switches with Bella, Edward falls in love with new girl, changes the story. Problems ensue, but in the end, new girl gets Edward. Those stories had always irritated the hell out of me. What about Bella? Everyone always seems to forget about her. Does she get stuck in your crappy life? I wouldn't wish mine on anyone. Does everyone just want Edward to fall in love with them? The fan-fic characters always try to improve the storyline, but it always falls apart - and poor Bella misses out on her happy ending.

Looking over at the girl next to me (I still couldn't believe this was my sister!) I resolved to make sure that Bella got exactly that - a happy ending with Edward. I knew every fan-girl's dream is to have Edward all to herself, but for the moment I was content with having a family, a sister whom I had to protect at all costs, a home where I was loved, and parents who wanted something other than another glass of bourbon. I was going to try and keep Bella's happy ending the same, and while I was at it, maybe tie up some loose ends that weren't resolved in _Twilight_ - like some of the werewolves that didn't have imprints, they might need a girlfriend? Maybe Eric gets hot and rich in a few years…it could be worth it to stake a claim early if he ends up reinventing the computer? The possibilities were kind of exciting.

The plane touched down in Seattle, and we unbuckled and grabbed our carry-on luggage. I suddenly realised that I had never been out of Australia, let alone to America. How was I supposed to know my way around? How was I supposed to be American when I wasn't? I had already noticed my Australian accent had smoothed out into a non-descript American one. I didn't sound like me, and I didn't look like me. How was I supposed to fake my way through a life I hadn't led yet? If this were a fan-fiction, this would be the plot-line for approximately half of the story. The new character doesn't know her old life, help!

Bella looked back at me and smiled upon seeing my confusion.

"Yeah, I know, Jen, this feels weird for me too. I already miss the sunshine!"

Without thinking, I blurted out, "I love rain! I'm looking forward to it!"

Crap. Am I supposed to hate the rain too? What am I supposed to think?

"Yes, Jen, you haven't shut up about it. You're going to annoy the hell out of Charlie, you know." She smiled and patted my shoulder as we left the plane.

I realized that this lack of knowledge thing was really going to become a problem. Bella was going to assume I knew things that I didn't, bring up stories from our "childhood" that I don't remember. I could definitely still remember my own childhood, something that would never fit in this world properly. How would I fake summers spent with Charlie in Forks, when I could only remember sitting alone in the living room watching cartoons?

Bella led me to the waiting lounge for our connecting flight to Port Angeles. Throwing my bag down, I realized that it was still the same bag I had in my other life. With my _Twilight_ books inside. Crap.

I hastily picked it up again, and watching Bella carefully out of the corner of my eye, unzipped to check whether the books were inside. My jacket, hairbrush, and lip gloss all seemed to be the same. A cursory glance at my purse showed me that my ID had changed from an Australian Learner's permit to an American full license, with the name Jennifer Swan. Yikes. Nothing says alternate universe like a real driver's licence that was dated 2004. Going back in time… maybe I could place some bets? It was too bad I didn't follow American Football. Smiling, I continued my rummaging, and after noting that my bag was still from the same Australian shop I bought it from (how did that happen?), I concluded that my _Twilight _books were gone - lost in the space time continuum. At least I had avoided the fan fiction cliché of "what if the Cullens/Bella find my book with all their secrets?" My heart fluttered a bit at the thought of winging it with no guide to the future, but I took a deep breath and relaxed. I needed to have some faith in my own knowledge of the books. And if things went the way I wanted them to, after a while the exact timeline of the books would be altered, and they would be useless.

I noticed Bella was looking at me again, with a worried expression. Jeez, does that girl do anything but worry?

"What is it, Bella?"

She looked away, embarrassed at being caught staring.

"It's just that, I don't know, after the last year you've had, I'm a bit worried about how you are going to cope in Forks…" she trailed off, and I was confused as to what had happened.

I was stuck again in that cliché – how to get information about my life without screwing up and revealing that I didn't belong. Alternate universes seemed to be full of clichés.

I sucked in another deep breath, then let it out slowly.

"I don't know, Bella. I guess I haven't been feeling myself for a while. Maybe going to Forks will be time for a change?"

Bella smiled. The way she smiled was cute – did I smile like that? I guess I would, we were identical twins after all. Getting used to a new body was not going to easy unless I started to think of myself with my new look.

"I hope it is, Jen. And if you aren't feeling yourself, maybe you should write in your diary? That usually seemed to help…before."

Her ominous tone surprised me. Something bad had happened in this lifetime, something that Bella had not had to deal with in the books, because she didn't have a twin sister.

Bella picked up my bag, rifled through it and pulled out a thick purple book that I hadn't noticed before in my desperation to find the _Twilight _books. She handed it to me.

"We still have some time before we have to get on the next plane."

I nodded my thanks, and turned to the diary.

As a child, I had kept a diary just like this one. In fact, I had still kept one, though my writings over the last few weeks had been pretty sketchy, you know, "Mum got drunk and vomited, I hate my life. The end." Not a real insight into my life or thoughts. A quick flick through this new diary showed that I had been much more articulate in this universe. Thank God. I finally had some sort of guide to help me learn my own life. Fan fiction dilemma over.

I didn't want to look weird rereading my own diary entries; I could tell that Bella was just waiting for me to start writing, perhaps to look over my shoulder and see what I was thinking. I caught her eye, and she flushed red. It was just as I had thought.

"You know, I might wait until we get to Charlie's. I haven't really got much to add since last time I wrote."

Bella nodded and looked away. I got the feeling that she had really been hoping I would write in the diary. She probably wanted to snoop through it later – Edward didn't call her "observant" for nothing.

Our flight number got called, and we were up and going again, this time flying to Port Angeles, another new place I never expected to go.

Once we were settled into the much smaller plane, I decided to quiz Bella a bit. I needed to know just how much my presence in her life had altered her compared to her character in _Twilight_. Already she didn't seem like the shy timid thing Stephenie Meyer had written, but it could be just the difference between Bella on paper and Bella in real life, a difference in translation.

"Hey, Bella?"

"Mmm?" Bella had her eyes closed and her head tilted back, but opened one eye to look at me.

"Why did you decide to come to Forks?"

Bella sighed. "Jenny, it's really complicated. Renee wants to go off with Phil, you know that, silly. She didn't want to leave…us… at home with no adult supervision. You have always hated how hot Phoenix was. So off to Forks it was."

I rolled my eyes. She wasn't fooling me. I could tell (maybe we have a twin connection?) that she didn't want to come to Forks at all. It almost sounded like I was dragging her, or she was being a martyr and coming along with me, even though she hated the idea of it. She just didn't want to say it straight out.

"Bella…"

"Yeah?"

"Why'd _you_ come if you hate Forks so much? The truth, please."

Bella sat up now, her eyes blazing.

"Because you are such a fricking basket case that I can't trust you to stay in one place on your own, ok? Now shut up and stop bothering me."

And with that she closed her eyes and turned away from me.

Wow. Just a little resentment there. Mission number one: repair relationship with my twin sister Bella. I needed her on my side. How was I supposed to help Bella, if clearly I was the one who needed help? I hadn't expected to be the one with issues – that was old Jen Porter from Melbourne, not Jennifer Swan from Phoenix. I didn't understand.

Okay, new mission number one: find out what I did before to make me seem like a crazy person, and change that. Resolve my crazy ways and be the best sister in the world. Mission two: Repair relationships. I was definitely going to have to read that diary – hopefully it went far enough back to reveal what happened to turn me into a nutter.

As I made this decision, the captain announced that the plane was landing. Bella opened her eyes, stretched a little, and gave me a tiny smile.

"I'm sorry I was cranky with you before."

I smiled in response.

"I'm sorry we're going to be stuck in the rainiest, tiniest, and most pathetic town in history."

Bella snorted. "You forgot boring. With only three hundred and fifty kids at the school, it's definitely going to be boring."

This time, I laughed out loud, and Bella was a bit taken aback.

"You will see, Bella. This will turn out to be the strangest, scariest, best and _least _boring place we have ever been to."

And while Bella laughed along sarcastically, I was being serious. Nothing about Forks was going to be boring.

The plane landed, and we set about getting off the plane and getting our luggage. I had _luggage_. When Bella pointed out my bag to me I actually squealed with delight. A whole bag full of clothes, just for me. I couldn't wait to unpack. In my old life, all the clothes I owned were from the Salvos, or second hand stores. Even my _Twilight_ books were second hand (though why anyone would sell them beats me). Bella gave me a funny look at my reaction, but said nothing.

As we left the airport, and into the inevitable rain, I could see a police car parked by the footpath. Charlie. A man with dark, curly hair and a moustache got out of the front seat. He was wearing his police uniform, and his eyes crinkled when he smiled at us.

I wanted to do nothing more than run over and hug the man that was going to be my father now, but decided that I didn't know how close we were before. Bella had always indicated in the books that her and Charlie didn't have an exuberant relationship, and I wasn't sure how Charlie would take me attacking him.

When we got closer, Charlie called out to us.

"These can't possibly be the two girls I visited in California last year! They are too old!"

Bella laughed, and reached up to hug her father.

"Hey, Dad, I missed you."

"I missed you too, Bells."

I hung back a bit, not wanting to intrude on their private moment. After all, they were actually father and daughter. I was the outsider.

Charlie looked up at me, and a frown creased his forehead.

"Aren't you happy to see me too, Jen?"

Bella stepped back and smiled at me. I took this as my cue and went in for the hug. I inhaled deeply, and I could smell aftershave and coffee. Is that what all father's smelled like? I wouldn't know.

I could feel Charlie patting my hair, and I realized that tears were running down my face. I buried my head deeper into his shoulder, and just relished the feeling of having a father that loved me, that cared about me.

"I love you, Dad."

Charlie chuckled. "I love you too, Jenny."

Over my head, I could hear Charlie whispering to Bella. "How is she?"

Bella whispered back, "Better. Today was a good day. She's just glad to be home, I think."

I felt Bella's small hand on my back, rubbing it. I had this nagging suspicion that there was definitely something wrong, that there was a reason everyone was walking on egg shells around me. I needed to find out what it was as soon as possible, but in that moment, I decided not to worry about past lives or future worries, and just enjoyed the feeling of finally having two people who I could call family.


	3. Chapter 3

Hi guys, this chapter is a long one, so enjoy! Thanks to Lharkcom & Duskwatcher for from PTB for beta'ing!

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Chapter Three - Memories

After our Disney-worthy family reunion, we all piled into the car, with Bella in the front seat and me in the back. I got the feeling that Bella wanted to talk to Charlie a bit more, while I was happy just to bask in the luckiness of my situation. Not only was I in _Twilight_, but I had gained a family. For me that was jackpot - everything I hadn't even dared to wish for. If I really faced the facts, back in Australia I was a runaway orphan whose big plan for the future was to work at McDonalds. Already, in this world, I was thankful I got to escape from it, even if it was only for a little while. Who knew how long my stay would be? It could be hours, it could be days, or it could be weeks. I wanted to put off any thoughts about home for the moment, because I didn't want to break the spell.

Charlie cleared his throat. "So, um, girls, as you probably remember, my house is kind of small, ah, compared to what you're probably used to."

Bella turned around to look at me in the back seat, raising her eyebrows at me. I understood what she was trying to ask, and nodded my head in agreement. I was getting good at this twin thing.

"Dad, we don't mind sharing a room. We're just happy you don't mind having us live with you while Mom is away."

Charlie sighed in relief, probably dreading a crazy teenage tantrum over having to share. I didn't mind sharing at all, and neither Bella nor I were the kind of teenagers that you see in American movies. Wait… I was American now, so they were just movies…right? Ugh. I was getting so confused.

There was silence for a while, before Charlie cleared his throat again. "I found a good car for you two, really cheap."

Bella whipped her head around to look at me again, and I gave her a puzzled look, not wanting to reveal that I was expecting this exact conversation.

"What kind of car?"

I smiled and looked out the window, tuning out the all too familiar conversation. We were going to get to share the Chevy.

Wait. The _manual _Chevy, which I technically didn't have a licence for, or the knowledge required the get one. In Australia, I was a learner who had had two lessons before her mother had stolen her lesson money for bourbon. How was I going to drive the truck?

I closed my eyes and banged my head on the window. I remembered that in the movie Jacob told Bella to double pump the clutch. I had no idea what a clutch was. I inhaled through my nose. That was not going to help much. What was the point of knowing _Twilight _cover to cover, when it didn't tell me thing like how to drive?

As I sat there with my eyes closed, feeling pretty frustrated, a voice floated across my mind.

_The far left pedal is the clutch, the middle is the brake, and the far right is the gas._

I squawked and sat bolt upright, earning a curious look from Bella and a frown from Charlie in the rearview.

"You okay back there, Jen?"

"Um, yeah, Dad. Just excited about the truck." I hoped they were still talking about the truck.

Bella smiled approvingly and added, "Yeah, Dad, thanks. We really appreciate it."

"Well now, you're welcome. I just want you both to be happy here." Charlie looked embarrassed, but I was too busy trying to work out what had just happened.

I had been worrying about my lack of car know-how, and how it was really something I couldn't fake if I had a driver's licence. I was wondering what the hell a clutch was…then someone had supplied the answer. But who?

Obviously, it wasn't Bella or Charlie–they weren't talking about basic car skills at all. It had to have come from me–but how would I know which pedal was which in a manual car?

I closed my eyes again and concentrated on how to drive a manual car.

_The car needs to be in neutral before you can start it…_

I frowned. I didn't even know what neutral was. Sure enough, this question was answered, too.

_Neutral is when the engine of the car is disengaged from the wheels_…

I was definitely going crazy. Somehow, I had fallen into this weird parallel universe, switched continents, swapped bodies, found myself a fictional family, and now I heard voices in my head. And the voices were teaching me how to drive a manual car. My hands were shaking, and I resorted to sitting on them to make them stop. _Deal with the crazy, _I told myself. _Reason it out_. _Start with the voices_.

It was an unfamiliar voice supplying the information, female, and older. I needed to try to recreate the voices. I was briefly reminded of Bella's recklessness in _New _Moon, and hoped I wouldn't have to resort to dangerous stunts to learn how to drive a truck.

I took a deep breath, and kept thinking about driving a car. Suddenly, I was remembering a scene I had never remembered before.

"_Okay sweetie, so slowly ease off the clutch and slowly press on the gas."_

_I was sitting in the driver's seat of an old tan car, a Ford? It was swelteringly hot, and the windows were rolled down. Next to me was an older woman with big blue eyes and light brown hair. My mother._

_I did as she instructed, and the car lurched and spluttered._

"_Too fast, too fast. Try again."_

_I tried and this time it worked. The car started to move, and I squealed._

"_Yes! I'm doing it!"_

_Renee laughed and pointed to the road, "Eyes on the road. Now we are getting some speed…"_

_I screamed with terror this time as the car stalled and jerked around. Renee pulled the handbrake, as I began to laugh at my ridiculous reaction to a little speed. Renee began to giggle, before we both simply fell about in hysterics._

_Bella was standing on the curb, and leaned her head into the open passenger window._

"_Hey, Mom, how about we get real driving lessons?" She was trying to hold back her own laughter, before giving up and chuckling along with us._

I snapped back to reality. I had just remembered my first driving lesson, and a disastrous one at that. My own mother had never tried to teach me to drive–you would require a car for that. I didn't understand why I would be able to remember learning to drive with Renee. It wasn't my memory. It should have been Bella's memory, Bella's experience of driving, except without me in it. Why on Earth was I imagining scenes that were never mentioned in the book?

Luckily for me, Charlie and Bella hadn't noticed my agitation. Needing to discover more about these visions, I closed my eyes again.

_I was learning to drive with the instructor, and actually travelling properly down the road._

_I was taking my driver's test, passing, and flying into Bella's open arms. Of course, Bella had taken her test the week before because she felt better prepared…_

_Bella was driving us to school in the old tan car. She usually drove because she was more comfortable than me in the busy peak hour traffic…_

It seemed I had plenty of driving related memories to see me through this alternate universe. That was nice and all, but seeing all those driving memories gave me hope that there might be more help on the way—preferably more insightful help. I needed to know more about my life before the plane trip to Forks, so I decided to try out a different memory. What was my last birthday like?

_Bella hung up the phone. I had already spoken to Charlie for twenty minutes, but Bella had only spoken for less than ten._

"_Finished so soon?"_

"_Yeah, it seems like you already blabbered away about everything important."_

_She grinned at me, and I rolled my eyes._

"_Well, are we going to watch Grease or not?"_

_Bella sighed, and plopped down next to me on our threadbare couch. Renee swept into the room, a bowl of popcorn in one hand and a block of chocolate in the other._

"_Well, Phil has been successfully kicked out, and I have provided the snacks, so let's get this show on the road. Happy birthday, girls."_

_I pointed the remote at the television, and Sandy and Danny were running down the beach. Renee squashed herself in between us, and kissed first Bella, then me, on the cheeks._

"_Thanks Mom."_

"_Yeah, thanks."_

I opened my eyes again. It was like I had really lived out that happy family scenario. The funny thing was, I really had watched _Grease_ on my seventeenth birthday, but instead of being snuggled up to my mother and twin sister, I had been alone, eating cereal out of the box, and crying a little. That particular night, my mother had been out on a bender, and had forgotten that it was my birthday until the next morning, when she apologized, then vomited into the kitchen sink. The saddest part was that I was used to that kind of behaviour.

Somehow, the alternate universe had taken my own dismal experience, and turned it into what it should have been, a girls' night with people I loved. My own seventeenth birthday had been memorable for a reason, but I would trade it any day for the memory with Renee and Bella. It seemed like somehow I had managed it.

As I had been remembering experiences from my past alternate universe life, we had entered the official town area of Forks. Bella sighed quietly, and I knew that she was feeling a mixture of emotions. I leant forward and found her hand with mine. I gave it a squeeze, and she looked back at me with a tight smile.

The town was the epitome of small. One diner, one set of shops, one school. I silently mused that it was just like a suburb of Melbourne, except in Melbourne you have lots of these small towns stuck together, so you can move between them easily. There was no urban sprawl on the Olympic Peninsula.

We pulled up at a small, white, two-storey house. It wasn't like the movie, but it was still familiar. But then I remembered…

_Bella and I were playing house on the front lawn. Bella was Mommy, and I was baby._

"_Why do I always have to be Mommy?" Bella whined._

"_Because you're the oldest!"_

Another childhood memory, and we looked about six. It was the most surreal, as the memories in the car were fairly recent. Bella and I as children – it was definitely not something I could have imagined on my own. Little, screaming, bratty children—where were these memories coming from?

We all piled out of the car and got our bags out of the back. I carried mine, and Charlie helped with Bella's. I went up the stairs, while Bella and Charlie 'oohed' and 'ahhed' over the truck, and instinctively I knew which room to go to.

I stopped in the doorway and frowned. The small room had been taken over by a double bed. _One _double bed. We really were going to have to share.

"Just like when we were kids, hey, Jen?" Bella scoffed and stepped around me. Charlie awkwardly hung back behind me.

"I know I haven't had time to get two separate beds for you girls, it was all pretty rushed. If it's going to be a problem, I can always sleep on the couch and-"

"No!" I exclaimed. What was it with these Swans and being unnecessarily self-sacrificing? "We can share. We're twins, aren't we? Sharing is part of the deal."

Bella nodded, and Charlie seemed satisfied.

"Well, I'll leave you girls to it." Charlie looked at first Bella, then me, before grunting and stalking down the stairs.

Bella's tight smile dropped, and she turned and flopped on the bed, face down. Her shoulders were shaking.

My eyes must have been huge. How did you solve crying sad Bella, short of taking her out of Forks? I sat on the edge of the bed, and scooted into the middle.

I didn't know how to help—every crying cure I had at home included chocolate, alcohol, or _Grease_. I took a moment to reflect on how sad that was, while patting Bella awkwardly on the head. Her breathing relaxed, and I hoped that meant I was helping. After a couple of minutes of this, she began to pull herself together.

Deciding that it would be safe to talk, I quietly asked, "What side of the bed do you want?"

Bella sniffed and looked up. "What?"

I smirked. "Unless you are volunteering for couch patrol, and letting me have this huge bed all to myself, what side would you like?"

Bella sat up, and looked around the tiny room, judging.

"The window side. When the sun does eventually come out, I think I'll want to know as soon as possible."

"That works for me." Already I was formulating ideas about sneaking out to the couch so that Bella would be alone in the room. Eventually, Edward would come in looking for Bella, to watch her sleep, and I knew that I had to somehow let that happen without me being in the room. I sure wasn't going to let creepy stalker Edward watch _me_ sleep. He can stare at Bella all he likes, but I liked my sleep to be private, thank you!

Bella got up off the bed, and started searching through her suitcase.

"I'm going to have a shower, okay?"

I rolled my eyes. "Yes, that's okay, Bella." She gave me a searching look. "I'm serious! Go! You smell!"

She left smiling and shaking her head. I lifted my bag onto the bed and began pulling out the clothes and putting them away. Before we arrived I had been looking forward to playing dress ups with all my new clothes, but Bella's depressed attitude towards Forks really made me feel rotten. I knew that in _Twilight_ she was sad about coming, but somehow my presence had multiplied it.

My wardrobe was much better than the old Australian one-lots of pairs of jeans, lots of long sleeved shirts, and lots of sweaters. I also had a lot of skirts and dresses, clothing items I didn't think Bella had much of. They were all relatively new. I was surprised to find that I actually liked the clothes, and furtively hoped that Bella and I hadn't been buying to match. I was new to being a twin, but I definitely didn't want to be one of those identical twins in identical clothes.

Being alone for the first time since I had woken up on the plane allowed thoughts I had been suppressing to rise to the surface. What had happened to me back in Australia? I assumed that the train I was on had crashed, but was I dead, or in a coma? Was it all a dream? Or had I been involved in a train crash, gone into a coma, and what I was experiencing now was all a dream? My mum (I couldn't change the way the word looked in my head) would have had some crazy theories about that. She may have been a drunk, but she'd been pretty funny sometimes. I could almost hear her cackling away, saying, "Aliens abducted you! Oooh! No, you were always dead, like in _The Sixth Sense_!"

Of course, some of that silliness came from the alcohol, but she was amusing to listen to. I guess I get my sense of humor from her.

My lip trembled. Just because Mum was an idiot, didn't mean I didn't love her. I thought it was really unfair when I was twelve, and the authorities took me away from her. I didn't realize at the time that it was for my own good. As much as I loved living with Gran, when she died two years later, I went straight back to Mum, and promptly went off the rails. Mum was fun, but her drinking made her a _very_ bad influence.

I still had no theories as to why and how I was in Forks when Bella finished up in the shower. I decided that showering was a good idea. It was showering heaven, without a stupid government sand timer to help count the minutes of water wasted. Forks was my personal bliss.

Mind you, I definitely needed the extra time in there to get acquainted with my new body. I missed my tan, and I missed my blonde hair, but I most certainly did not hate my new set of boobs. Compared to my old flat chest, these things were huge. I was imagining halter tops and strapless dresses, things that were impossible in my old body. I dried myself in front of the small mirror, standing on tiptoes to try to see more of my body. Shrinking four inches was not helpful, but the idea of being able to wear heels on a date was exciting. Having a new body was unnerving – I didn't feel like me any more, but I wasn't sure if that was a bad thing.

Bella had gone downstairs to sit with Charlie, and I had the bedroom to myself. I finally pulled out the purple diary and flicked back to the August of last year.

_Dear Diary,_

_Now that school's finally out I have much more time to devote to writing in you. So that's what I'm going to do. Obviously I can't write too much detail – you-know-who likes to snoop a lot. You Know Who… it's like Harry Potter or something. Just started reading it again – AWESOME. Never disappointing. Can't wait for the next book._

_Anyway we went to this party last night. Kind of cool. Everyone was getting drunk, but luckily Georgia had warned me that there would be alcohol so I got Bella to drive. Drinking's not really her thing. I had a few beers, and found Kieren Frost again. Ahh Kieren, how I missed your boob gropes and sloppy kisses. Needless to say, I decided in my head not sleep with him again, but the beer decided that Kieren was the target for the night. That's going to be awkward when school goes back. Bella wasn't too happy, but I think she's just a tad jealous._

_I don't know why she would be jealous of Kieren though. Ugh. She can have him any time._

_Jen._

By the time I had finished this entry, I had a big grin on my face. Reading this diary entry had brought to life the memory in the same way the car lessons had. I could vividly remember Kieren's fumbling, and Bella's disapproving face.

I could also remember my own Australian experience. I did have a fling with a guy named Kieren, who was awful. We reconnected at a party hosted by a friend named Georgia, and we had some terrible sex. While it wasn't something worth remembering from my Australian life, it was part of my experience that I got to bring with me. In this universe, I wasn't an innocent virgin like Bella. I was well and truly deflowered like I was in my old life, and I was kind of thankful for that. Hearing that I had to wait for the next book in the Harry Potter series was a little disappointing though. Stupid time travel!

Flicking back further, I realized that I had gotten to keep many of my experiences and talents. I was still good at sports – though my sport of choice had changed from netball to volleyball. I kept my awesome maths skills– though in AU (alternate universe, as I had begun to refer to it), I actually got to compete in a national competition that I couldn't afford in OU (old universe). I still sucked at science, and I had still lost my virginity at fifteen to Mark Freeman. I also had many new experiences, like my seventeenth birthday, and driving lessons. As I read, the memories started to spring to life in my head. It was like putting a puzzle together; I could now remember what presents I had gotten for my birthday, where I had bought my last pair of jeans, and what Bella had said after that party.

AU had made my life a whole lot easier by giving me a lifetime of memories to see me through my time here. It seemed like a lot of trouble if it was only a temporary stay. What if it wasn't temporary? Perhaps I was supposed to take on these memories in readiness for the rest of my life here? It was something I couldn't contemplate fully. Live here longer than _Twilight_? Impossible. I went back to the diary, and flicking through to November last year, I noticed a break in entries. I wasn't the happy teenager I was in August. The entry looked quite similar to something I would have written OU.

_Dear diary,_

_Went back to school today. Bruises are finally gone. Hooray. Now if I could only erase the memory. That would be nice._

_Bella moping around me doesn't help at all. "Are you okay Jen?" "Do you want to talk Jen?" NO I DON'T WANT TO FUCKING TALK I WANT TO FORGET. And I know you read this Bella, so get the message. Leave me alone._

I had found the time where something 'happened'. I waited for the linked memories to gush forth and they didn't. I concentrated hard, with my eyes shut, and thought about November and bruises and school, but no memories appeared. There was just black and static–almost like someone had disconnected the TV antenna.

It looked like there was one memory I couldn't remember, something that AU me wanted to forget. Unfortunately, I needed to know now. Bruises meant injury, and while that's enough for anyone to want to forget, a gap in something so important was going to cause problems. Bella didn't know exactly what had happened, because she was pestering me about it. It explained why Bella and Charlie were so worried about me all the time, because something bad had happened. I didn't know how to handle this; so far AU had been treating me pretty damn well compared to OU, and to have an 'incident' that smacked of OU here with me in this perfect world didn't make sense.

The door shut, and I jumped. Bella was crawling into bed, and I decided to put my diary away and do the same. I turned off the lights and hopped under the covers. Already, Bella was shaking again.

"Hey, Bella?"

A muffled sob. "Yeah?"

"What's up?"

She laughed shakily. "Oh, you know. School tomorrow. I hate meeting new people. I hate Forks. And I'm supposed to be looking after you, and all I've done is bawl like a baby."

I sighed. This needed to stop. "Bella. I can't have you worrying about me all the time. I'm a big girl. The past is the past, and moving has helped already."

I hoped moving was supposed to help. I could see Bella's eyes reflecting the dim light from the window, watching me.

"And secondly, Bella, aren't we supposed to be a team? I can look after you too, you know. Tomorrow we can stick together, and who cares what anyone else thinks?"

Bella relaxed and closed her eyes. "Thanks, Jen. I'm glad you're getting better."

"Me, too, Bella." I wished so badly that I knew what it was that I was recovering from, and I needed to work it out fast. Tomorrow was the first day of school, and I needed all my wits about me. I didn't want to think about theories and memories any more; I just hoped that I would still be there when I woke up the next day.

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	4. Chapter 4

Hi guys! Wow, lots of people read the last chapter, which was pretty exciting! Thanks to LHarkcom & wvvampire from PTB from beta-ing this bad boy. Laura, you are a saint for putting up with my commas!

Stephenie Meyer owns everything except Jen. She's mine :p Enjoy!

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I woke up the next morning with a jolt, half expecting to find myself in Australia. I heard a groan, and I realized that yesterday hadn't been a dream at all.

"Jen…." Bella mumbled, "What're you doing? It's too early."

I couldn't help the massive grin that split my face. I was still here.

"We have school today, Bella! School! Meeting new people! New classes and teachers! Aren't you excited?"

Bella responded by pulling her pillow over her face, while mumbling swear words at me. My sarcasm wasn't appreciated, but I honestly didn't care. I still couldn't believe that I was here, about to go to school with Bella Swan and meet all the people I had read about so obsessively. I was going to meet the Cullens…well, at least Bella was. I wasn't sure how the day would run with me in the picture. For all I knew, my presence would alter our school timetables, making my goal of getting Bella and Edward together more difficult.

I slid out of bed, and quickly rushed to the dresser, pulling out a cute pair of skinny jeans and a tight black and green sweater. Bella had sat up now, and was rubbing her eyes.

"I don't know why you're bothering, Jen, you're just going to put a coat on top."

I grimaced. "That's not the point, Bella. If I wear something nice, I won't be tempted to leave my jacket on all day, and people will see my nice clothes."

"But it's cold, Jen. You won't want to take it off."

I sighed. I could understand Alice's frustration now.

"I won't be wearing my coat _inside_ will I? Unless the school doesn't have heating, which would be stupid."

Bella began to get out of bed, mumbling something that sounded a lot like, "It wouldn't surprise me." Her defeatist attitude had really started to get me down.

"Come ON, Bella. It's not going to be that bad! You're depressing me with all the negativity."

Bella gasped and looked at me. It seemed like the word "depressing" was taboo. I was getting sick of being treated like I was on suicide watch.

"I'm not kidding, Bella. Get your ass dressed and I expect you downstairs in ten."

Bella rolled her eyes and I stalked out of the room, calling back over my shoulder, "Wear something nice!". As I shut the door, I heard a suspicious thump that sounded like a shoe being thrown at the door. Bella was not a happy camper.

I bounced down the stairs, absolutely thrilled that today I would really be getting into the _Twilight_ world. I skidded to a stop at the kitchen door, realizing that in my haste, I was just in time to eat with Charlie.

"Hey, Kiddo. Take a seat."

I lowered myself into a chair at the table, as though I was in a trance. I mean, talking to Charlie, without Bella, was something I hadn't done yet. Could I do this?

I watched him take a spoonful of cereal, chew it, and swallow before clearing his throat.

"You look nice today."

"Uh, yeah. First day, want to make a good impression."

"Right."

Charlie scratched his chin, and cleared his throat again.

"You know, you gave your Mom and Bella a bit of a fright back in Phoenix."

I bit my lip and nodded. Without even knowing what I had done, I still felt bad.

"I just wanted to check how you're doing."

My heart was pounding. Why was I so nervous? I could hear Bella coming

down the stairs, and I took a deep breath.

"Yeah, Dad. I'm doing better now. I…I just needed a change."

Bella still hadn't entered the room, and I knew that she was listening outside.

Sneaky girl.

"That's good to hear, Jenny."

Charlie looked awkward, and I knew this had to be a difficult conversation for him. Thank God I wasn't alone in that.

"Yeah, Dad. I have to be the responsible one here. Bella won't stop moping around!" I raised my voice at the end, so Bella would know I knew she was busted.

Bella entered the room, smirking.

"Shut up, Jen."

"What?" I slyly looked up at her. "You could at least be cheerful about all the new boys we're going to meet today! I bet there'll be at least one…"

"Jen!"

Charlie stood up. "I think that's my cue to leave, girls. Have fun at school."

"Bye, Dad."

"Yeah, bye."

Charlie stomped out the door, grumbling under his breath about teenagers. As soon as the door was shut, Bella turned to me.

"What did you think that was? Talking about boys in front of Charlie? Are you insane?"

I poured myself some cereal. Conveniently, I had a mouthful of food before a memory came along to help me out.

_Renee and I were sitting on my bed, giggling away about Kieren. Bella was in the doorway frowning._

"I used to talk boys with Mom all the time. I don't see the big deal. Besides, we _will_ be meeting some new boys today."

Bella sat down with her breakfast, and I eyed her closely.

"Bella. What are you wearing?"

Bella guiltily looked away. She was wearing what had to be the ugliest bulky green sweater I had seen in my life.

"Did you really think you were going to wear that to school with my permission?"

"Jen…"

I sighed. "Don't even bother. Try again."

Bella huffed and stormed up the stairs, and returned five minutes later in a fitted navy long sleeved sweater.

"Much better. I can't believe I am still dressing you here in Forks."

She rolled her eyes. "It's only because you don't want me going out and embarrassing you. I am going to school for an educational experience. You apparently are going to meet boys. Different goals."

I groaned. "Bella, it's for your benefit too. If there's a boy that likes you, how could they possibly work it out if you are hiding your body in that ugly thing?"

"Jen, no boy is ever going to choose me over you. Besides, I thought you were off boys for now. After, well, you know."

I wanted to scream, _"NO I DON'T KNOW BELLA DROP A HINT FOR PETE'S SAKE."_

"Yeah, Bella, I'm a big ol' lesbian. Now we better get a move on. I don't want to be late."

"Jen, we have ages. What's the big deal?" Bella spooned a huge mouthful of cereal into her mouth, and took her bowl to the sink, still chewing.

"I want to get the map and try to memorize it, so we're not walking around with our noses in it." I knew that I stole that one straight from the book, but what was the point of having all this knowledge if I wasn't going to use it from time to time?

"You're right. Good idea. Let's go."

Mission accomplished.

Bella drove, of course. I had kind of wanted to save the experience of trying to drive from my brand new memories for a time where I wouldn't have Bella, or any one else for that matter, watching me. I could just see Bella's disapproving face as I stalled the truck, and I was beginning to realize that nothing about me got past her. She really was observant (though I would call her nosy).

Imagining Forks High School and seeing it were two different things. While Stephenie Meyer had described the school as more like a group of houses, she didn't describe the little flower beds that lined the doorways, the pretty mural that covered one wall of the cafeteria, or the way you had to walk under covered walkways to get from one building to the other. I could feel my lip trembling – it was just like an Australian school. It could have been any school in the outer suburbs of Melbourne. For some reason, I had a pang of nostalgia. I wasn't going to be singing _Advance Australia Fair_ this morning before assembly. Did they even have assembly? I resolved to try and keep my Australian ways as much as I could, even if I no longer had an Aussie accent.

Bella had dragged me to what appeared to be the Admin building. Ms Cope sat before us, and I let Bella take care of everything.

"Jen?"

"Mm?"

"What subjects do you want? These are the two timetable options."

Looking back and forth between the two options, it was clear which timetable I had to take. There was no way was I going to be in biology after lunch.

"I'll have this one, please."

"Are you sure, Jen? You hate chemistry."

I sighed. "Yes, Bella. If I do chemistry, I can do the higher level of maths in first period, and do English when you are in trig. I already killed trig last semester, so I don't need to do that class again."

Bella smiled. She had gotten the timetable that she had wanted. She was probably stoked that she had gotten to do the easier maths while doing a biology course she had already aced. I was just happy that Bella was in the right biology class. If she weren't in that, then Edward would never have to sit next to her…they would never really meet. I had a fleeting moment of panic as I remembered Edward's struggle not to kill her (that was going to happen today!), but hoped that Edward was still going to show the same restraint he did in _Twilight_. Bella's personality may be slightly different, but at least I knew that the Cullens were the same.

We went back to the truck, and we compared timetables and classes, promising to meet up for lunch.

"Bella, what if we meet other people?"

"Don't be silly, Jen. We are a package deal. It's either Bella and Jen together, or neither at all."

I smiled, and gave her a hug. Bella's co-dependency was starting to worry me, but there was nothing I could do now. I began walking to my Calculus class, while poor Bella went to English to be attacked by Eric and Mike. I didn't envy her there.

I pushed open the door, and like I had told Bella earlier, I took off my jacket and hung it on the coat rack. I handed my slip to Mr Varner, and I was forced to introduce myself. I had gathered that the class I was in was a senior class, and this made me a little nervous. Everybody was staring at me. In my old body, sure, I wouldn't have minded, because I was confident in that body. But this little brunette thing… being short was something I was unused to. Mr Varner directed me to the only empty seat in the room…next to a statuesque blonde goddess with pale icy skin. Rosalie.

Rosalie. In the books I had always envisioned her as the most beautiful woman I could think of – but the reality was a million times better than any imagined character. She was staring out the window with a haughty expression on her face. It was difficult to remember that she was the same character I had read in _Breaking Dawn_. She seemed so perfect and impenetrable here. With one tiny flick of her hair, she shattered my former appreciation of her. Our shared painful pasts didn't matter, because she was beautiful, while I was trapped in an awkward, midget body. My self-esteem had plummeted.

As I pulled my books out of my bag and settled into the seat, I noticed that Rosalie was staring at me. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see her eyes moving up and down my body, then concentrating on my face. To my frustration, the attention caused the stupid, identical Bella body I was in, to blush. Rosalie smirked, and turned away. I had the awful feeling that Rosalie had taken my measure, and had found me wanting.

Of course AU was going to throw me a curve ball (is that the right expression?). Had I really expected to get through the whole day with no contact with the resident vampires of Forks? If Bella had a class with one, of course I would at some stage. It's a small school. I had just thought I would get a chance to get used to the universe first, or at least wait for Bella to make the introductions.

The work for the lesson was handed out, and I was delighted to see that even this level of work was well within my learning. I may have been planning to drop out in OU, but AU was shaping up to be a place I could seriously think about graduating and going to college. Bella had time to think about those things in the _Twilight_ world, and maybe I'd be able to, too.

We all worked quietly on our own, but I couldn't help stealing glances at Rosalie. I was sure she would notice, being a vampire and all, but she never looked at me. I was probably not worth noticing. She had already finished her paper, so I decided to make some contact, just to see what would happen.

"Um, excuse me?"

Rosalie turned her head to look at me.

"Hello."

My voice shook just a tiny bit as I asked her, "My name is Jen. I was wondering if you could help me with question 4a? I'm a bit stuck."

Rosalie raised an eyebrow.

"You don't seem to need any help. Just evaluate the equation."

I blushed and looked at the page, mortified to see that I had asked her about a question that I had all but completed.

"Uh, I get it now. Thanks."

I wasn't going to give up that easily. Just because _I _knew that Rosalie was a scary vampire, didn't mean that I had to avoid her. Technically, I was a new student, and the first thing a new student does is try to make friends, right? Regardless of how immortal they may be.

I opened my mouth to say something else, but Rosalie looked at me, and under her dark piercing glare, I sort of melted—my mouth hung open, and my face got even hotter, to the point that I was sure I would explode into flames. It was mortifying.

Rosalie sighed and looked out the window, while I sank lower into my chair. I had just had my first dressing down by Rosalie, and it was awful. I tried to imagine how Bella would be doing, and got a sudden vivid image of Bella being directed to her next class by Eric. Her day would be going just as it was supposed to in _Twilight. _So far, so good.

The bell rang and I rushed out, away from Rosalie. She was one scary girl. As I left, I muttered, "bitch" under my breath. I knew she would hear it, but there was no way she could act on it. I hoped.

Next I had Government, and had to navigate my way through the school unaided. Unlike Bella, I was garnering zero attention. I wasn't exactly sure what to think of that. I hadn't been an attention seeker in OU, just the crazy chick who got drunk at parties and was up for anything. I wasn't sitting on anybody's pedestal the way Bella seemed to be in Forks.

I entered the classroom, and to my surprise, Bella was seated next to an empty desk. She patted it, and I quickly joined her.

"I didn't realize we had Government together."

Bella rolled her eyes.

"Of course you didn't."

The rest of the class was spent whispering to one another and comparing notes on the day. I told Bella about my experience with Rosalie, and Bella's indignation was enough to boost my confidence again.

"What a bitch! And she never even told you her name…"

I shook my head and bit my lip, hoping beyond hope that I hadn't actually used Rosalie's name in front of Bella. My mind was so traumatised by the encounter, that I had no idea what I was saying anymore.

Bella shared her story about Eric, and we both had a giggle.

"Maybe he'll be the next Bill Gates? You should get on that, Bella."

"Shut up! He was just being nice!"

I snorted, drawing attention to us from the teacher, and we quickly turned back to our work.

The class ended, and I was on my way to English. I had always been fairly good at English, never to the same level as Bella (or so my magic memories told me), but enough to get a B in my Australian school. I knew that Bella had wanted her old essays because the curriculum was the same as her old school, so I was kind of counting on my "memories" to help me out.

Embarrassingly, I managed to get lost again in such a tiny school, and with no one offering to give me a helping hand, I was pretty late. I knew that this didn't look particularly good, and I was annoyed at myself for not looking at the map better before school.

I paused at the doorway, taking a deep breath to prepare myself for the next onslaught, when I looked through the tiny window in the door. My head began to swim, and I stepped back from the door, looking at it in horror.

There was no way I could go in there.

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	5. Chapter 5

Hey everyone! Enjoying your Saturday night? It's a beautiful Sunday down here in Melbourne, and I'm inside working on my fan fiction... I hope it's writh it!

Thanks to lharkcom and siobhan'x for beta-ing this chapter! You guys are awesome!

A quick recap: _Jen is about to enter her English classroom, but suddenly decides she can't..._

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Chapter 5 – How To Irritate a Vampire

I had been able to see into the classroom, full of other students, and who should be sitting smack bang in the middle of the room, but Edward Cullen? He was gorgeous and sexy, Bella's future husband, and a vampire. A very hungry vampire.

I gulped. I could not go in there. No way in hell.

For starters, I didn't want to die today. In all my planning, I had not even thought for a second that_ I_ would be in a class with Edward. In his first meeting with Bella, he wanted to kill her. The stupid AU had made me her identical twin… which would equal identical DNA, and potentially an identical scent. I didn't know exactly how these things worked, as I wasn't a vampire, but I didn't particularly want to offer myself up to Edward as bait. No thanks.

I also didn't want to go in there and scare him away. If Edward didn't make it to Biology, then he would never meet Bella. He HAD to meet Bella. Even if he wanted to kill her, that interaction had to happen today. He couldn't be distracted because Bella's identical twin freaked him out with her yummy scent.

I leaned against the wall next to the door, taking deep breaths with my eyes closed. I felt like I was having a panic attack, but I tried to relax my breathing and slow my heart. He could probably hear my heart from inside the classroom… what if he could hear my thoughts? How identical _are _Bella and I? Oh God, oh God…

The door swung open and interrupted my mini mental-breakdown. I looked up to see the teacher staring down at me.

"Are you okay, Bella?"

I knew this was my one opportunity to get out of the class, at least for today. I couldn't deal with Edward yet.

"No, I'm Jen." I mumbled, looking at my shoes. "I'm new, and I'm supposed to be in this class, but I feel really faint."

The teacher nodded at me.

"Well, I'm Mr. Mason. That would mean you are the Jennifer Swan I was expecting. I met your sister this morning. Are you feeling better yet? Or did you want to go to the nurse?"

I drew a shaky breath. "The nurse, please. I guess it's just first day nerves…"

"Understandable. I hope you're feeling better tomorrow."

The door shut, and I slowly rose, using the wall as a crutch. I didn't want to get stuck in the nurse's office the whole day, but I also didn't want to raise suspicion about myself. Ditching class on the first day of school wasn't a good look.

I shakily shuffled to the admin building, thanking my _Twilight _knowledge for telling me where the nurse would be. Upon entering, I was fussed over with ice packs, and she even offered to let me sleep the rest of the day. By that point, I was cursing my stupid, weak Bella body for making me so susceptible to panic attacks. The old Jen Porter body was athletic and strong, and didn't suffer from rapid drops in blood pressure like the new Jen Swan body did.

I politely declined, and escaped just in time to meet Bella for our Spanish class. When I arrived, Bella was already seated next to a short girl with wild, curly hair. Jessica. Bella shrugged and gave me an apologetic smile. I shook my head at her. She could be so silly sometimes. I could handle sitting on my own for one period. Actually, it was nothing, compared to sitting next to the Ice Queen, Rosalie, or a bloodthirsty Edward. I'd sit on my own every day if it meant I didn't have to share a desk with Rosalie or Edward. I'd rather sit alone than get my head bitten off by either of them. Take that as you will.

I was anxious about faking my way through Spanish, but thankfully, my magical memories once again helped me out, teaching me a language I had never learned before. It was almost ridiculously easy – apparently I was a wiz at languages in Phoenix, too. Who would have known? I had always aced the Indonesian that was forced upon us Aussie kids (satu, dua, tiga?) and I would miss its simplicity, but being good at Spanish made up for it.

Spanish ended, and it was finally lunchtime. Bella followed Jessica, who was babbling away at warp speed, and I, in turn, followed her. Bella interrupted Jess for a second to introduce me.

"Another one? There are two of you?" Her mouth gaped.

"Yep, that's why we're called 'twins'. Duh." I couldn't help but remember how fickle a friend Jessica was in _Twilight_, and I wasn't going to take any crap from her.

"Jenny!" Bella blushed bright red, and I noticed that she slipped into my childhood nickname. I must have really shocked her.

Jessica's mouth snapped shut, and her lips tightened. "Well, I'm going to lunch, if you want to come with me."

Bella pinched me hard, and off we went.

The American system was so different than what I was used to. It was just like the movies, lining up for food, a big room full of tables. In OU, I had usually made my own lunch with whatever food we had (which wasn't much), and the only kids that bought their lunch were the ones with rich parents. Our canteens were small and open air—you bought your food and you took it out into the playground. For most kids, getting a canteen lunch was a special treat. A cooked lunch everyday was almost luxury…until I saw what they had. All this disgusting greasy stuff–I just bought some fruit and didn't worry about pizza or anything like that. I longed for a meat pie, or even just a Vegemite sandwich.

Bella and I followed Jessica to the table, where there were a few other people. We were quickly introduced, and I got to meet Angela, Lauren, and a few other characters that hadn't featured in the books.

The conversations began to grow around us again, and I strained my neck looking around the room for the Cullens. This was my big moment to test out Edward's mind-reading. I knew that Bella's mind was closed, but I was worried that my brain would be an open book. I had secrets that no one could know, and Edward was the last person I wanted to share them with.

I was brought back to reality by the sound of my sister's voice.

"Who are they?"

My head whipped around in the direction Bella was looking. The Cullens were sitting at a table in the corner. There was Rosalie, with the same bitchy expression on her face. That stupid vampire always had a self-satisfied smirk on her face. I frowned, and imagined throwing a bucket of water in her face. It made me feel better. A tiny dark haired girl, Alice, was walking away. Walking was an understatement; she glided. Back at the table, Jasper and Emmett were picking at their food, both looking more muscular than I could have ever imagined. And, of course, there was Edward. My 'sick' performance in English had not altered the course of _Twilight _events, thank God.

Jessica giggled and began giving Bella the run down of the Cullens. Bella was nodding her head, her eyes locked on the beautiful creatures on the back table. I didn't even bother to pretend to listen to Jessica, but looked over the vampires that I had read about so many times. I couldn't believe that I was actually eating my lunch in the same room as the _Cullens. _They were all so eerily familiar. It was like they had jumped out of my imagination.

Edward was staring at Bella, and I assumed he was trying to read her mind. He really was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen, with his dark eyes staring intensely at Bella and his bronze hair messily arranged. Edward looked younger than I had expected, probably because Rob Pattinson was much older than seventeen when he made the films. Edward was definitely the hottest out of all of the vampires there. I may have been drooling. _Bella,_ I reminded myself, _Edward is for Bella._

Edward's eyes were now searching me, probably trying to get a read on me. Here was the big test–could Edward read my mind? I imagined myself dancing around the vampires' table, singing the 'Happy Little Vegemite' song and throwing popcorn at Rosalie. I was deliberately being random and stupid, to try and get some sort of reaction from Edward.

His eyes tightened, but that wasn't the reaction I was looking for-that could've just been him trying harder. I was now doing the 'Macarena' in my head, while singing "Rosalie is a cow" over and over. Rosalie seemed like a safe target, and I was allowed to hate her a little after the incident in math.

Nothing. In a last ditch effort, I imagined screaming Edward's name over and over, like yelling at him from across the room.

Edward looked away. If anything, my last attempt _should_ have been the one to get his attention mentally. My mind was just as watertight as Bella's. Even so, I was right to avoid English earlier, just in case Edward wanted me…no, my blood. I totally meant my blood.

"Which one is the boy with the reddish brown hair?" Bella asked. She was embarrassed by Edward's staring, and her blushing gave her away.

"That's Edward. He's gorgeous, of course, but don't waste your time. He doesn't date. Apparently none of the girls here are good-looking enough for him." Jess sniffed, and Bella bit her lip, trying to hide her laugh.

I wasn't as nice as Bella, and grinned at Jessica, not hiding my amusement at nudged me, and I raised my eyebrows, as if to say, "What?" I decided to change the subject.

"That's the girl who was a bitch to me." I pointed at Rosalie, and Jessica gasped. Lauren, who had been bitch-extraordinaire throughout the _Twilight _books, looked over, faintly interested.

"Rosalie Cullen? You have been here for only one day, and you've already made enemies with _Rosalie Cullen_? She doesn't talk to anyone! What the hell did you do?" Jess asked.

I shrugged. "Nothing, really. Introduced myself, asked for help on a math question, got rejected."

Jess whistled, and patted me on the shoulder. "That must have been some experience." Her voice was dripping with sarcasm. She didn't like me. _Oh darn, how sad._

"Yeah."

Bella was watching Edward again. Voyeur much? I knew that they were destined to be together, and heck, I wanted to help them, but Bella's stare was sickening. Kristen Stewart didn't do it justice in the film. Vomit.

I decided to play a little game with the vampires, simply because I was bored with Jessica and the other kids. Back at home, the few friends I had were always doing crazy and shocking things, and the teenagers of Forks were boring in comparison. They didn't know that they had vampires in their midst, and how easy they could be to rile up.

My target was, of course, Rosalie.

"Hey, Jess?"

"Hey!" Jess had a big grin on her face. Wonderful. She was so sincere. Not.

"Which one did you say Rosalie was dating?"

Jess pointed. "The big one. His name is Emmett. He's pretty scary."

I knew exactly how scary a vampire could be up close, but from this distance, I had gained a little courage. Rosalie couldn't melt me with her evil stare from here. Bella was watching me now, probably because we were talking about the Cullens again. I went ahead with my next sentence, waiting for a reaction from the vampires.

"With the dark hair? Yeah, he's pretty damn hot. I'd do him."

The reaction I got was instantaneous. Over at the vampire table, Rosalie had banged her fist on the table so hard that it had cracked. Emmett and Edward were laughing at her sour face.

At my table, Jess and Lauren were laughing. Bella was shaking her head, and I winked at her. None of them had seen Rosalie's reaction, which was all well and good, but I hadn't finished messing with her yet.

"What? Wouldn't you? Seriously, can you _see_ the size of his hands? You know what that means…"

Lauren giggled, "Large gloves?"

We all laughed, and I was happy to see that at least Lauren got my sense of humor. That was one _Twilight_ issue that I would fix – Lauren was _not _going to hate us.

It was time for my final assault.

"Rosalie probably couldn't take 'gloves' that big. She's too cold and bitchy. Now, me, I would be the fire he needs. I would keep him satisfied."

Lauren and Jess howled with laughter, and Bella put her head in her hands. On the other side of the room, Rosalie had thrown her tray into the bin, and was leaving. The way she walked was graceful and light, and you wouldn't be able to tell she was angry, aside from the sour-puss pout adorning her perfect face.

It was nice to know that I could get under Rosalie's skin. The best part was that I could do it from the safety of the lunch room. She couldn't do anything without admitting that she had super human hearing that allowed her to listen to my insults from fifty meters away. If Rosalie was going to be a bitch, well, that was just too bad. I could be a bitch, too.

The bell rang, and it was time to leave. Bella narrowed her eyes at me, and I knew that she was going to give me hell on the way home. I just smiled, and wished her luck in her next class. Bella was about to face what I knowingly couldn't – a hungry Edward who was drawn to her blood. I just hoped she wasn't too traumatised by Edward's reaction.

I pulled out my map and began to navigate my way to chemistry. Cough, spew, vomit. The things I did for Bella, sheesh.

I noticed that Lauren was following the same path I was on, and we walked to chemistry together.

I decided I liked Lauren. She was funny and sarcastic, not at all fake like Jessica. We laughed about the idea of doing Emmett, and I admitted to her I was only joking about it.

"I don't really relish the idea of becoming a human pancake."

Lauren laughed a lot at that. I liked that she found me funny. Maybe her problem with Bella was that she was too quiet. If Bella had really projected the witty personality I knew she had out today, Lauren might have respected her, instead of hating her for stealing the attention of the boys.

Chemistry went by quickly, and I imagined what Bella was doing.

_Bella was hiding under her hair, peeking out at Edward. He was glaring at her._

I shuddered. Just imagining Bella's situation made me glad that I had faked sick earlier. Death daggers from the hottest guy in history? I'll pass, thanks.

After chemistry, I had gym. Bella was waiting for me just outside the changing rooms, flanked by a blonde boy with gelled hair. When she saw me coming, her face lit up in relief.

"Jen! Where were you?"

I sighed. "I got lost. Again."

Bella shook her head. "Jen, this is Mike. Mike, Jen."

Mike smiled at me. He was actually pretty cute, even if his hairstyle smacked of the early 2000s. I knew that Jessica was supposed to have a crush on him, and I made a mental note that here, once again, was a boy I was _not_ allowed to be with. The list was getting pretty long.

"I can't believe that you guys are twins! We don't get identical twins much around here—the closest we have are the Hale twins, and they're not identical like you guys." Mike's smile widened, like he had given us a compliment by comparing me to that cow Rosalie.

I smiled sweetly back at him. "Well, you'll probably see soon that we are _very_ different. We may look alike, but really, we're complete opposites."

Mike's smiled dimmed just a little bit. I didn't want to make him feel bad though, so I added, "But lucky for you, you got to meet Bella first. She's the nice twin. I'm a bit of a bitch."

Bella cringed, and Mike laughed.

"Well, thanks for the heads up. I'll see you girls later."

Mike headed into the locker room, and Bella turned to me.

"Was that really necessary?"

"I'm just looking out for you, Bella. You don't want every guy in this school after you, or all the girls will hate you. Keep some distance."

Bella rolled her eyes, and we went into gym.

We didn't have to participate today, and I was disappointed. I wanted to try out my apparently awesome volleyball skills.

After gym, we had to go return our slips to the office. I followed behind Bella again, dreading the scene that we were about to face. And it wasn't Ms. Cope I was dreading.

Lo and behold, who should be in the office but the dastardly Edward Cullen? He was furiously trying to change his biology class. Of course.

Bella stiffened, her eyes wide. Bella was only afraid of him because of his reaction in biology. She didn't know that we were in a life or death situation.

My hands were shaking, and a girl entered the room, blowing cold air into the warm office. I shivered, hoping beyond hope that Edward wouldn't kill us. The two of us in the one room could be too much for him.

Edward stopped talking, and slowly turned to glare at us. Bella gripped my hand in fear; Edward's stare was murderous.

Still staring at us, Edward said to Ms. Cope, "Never mind, then. I can see that it's impossible. Thank you so much for your help."

He then swept out of the room, coming so close to me that I actually cringed away. The door slammed shut behind him, and Bella stepped up to the desk.

"How was your first day, girls?" Ms. Cope smiled nervously up at us. She was obviously as shaken by Edward's reaction as we were.

Bella's voice shook. "Fine."

We quickly left the office, and once we were safely inside the truck I turned to Bella.

"What was that about?"

Bella's lip trembled. "I think Edward Cullen hates me."

"What? Why?" I hated having to ask this question, but it would be weird if I didn't. I had to act like I had no idea that Edward had almost killed us just five minutes earlier.

"I don't know. The second I walked into biology, he just gave me this death stare like I had offended him. I had to sit next to him. It was horrible. Just like your experience with Rosalie."

Except Rosalie was just a bitch and didn't particularly want to kill me. I couldn't say this though.

"Mm. Maybe the Cullens have social problems or something. That's why nobody wants to sit next to them."

Bella started the truck. "Yeah, maybe. Or maybe they're so rich that they can smell poverty, and automatically hate us?"

I laughed – it wasn't poverty they could smell.

"We aren't that poor, Bella. But you're right, maybe they're just snobs?"

We pulled out of the lot, and drove home. Bella went upstairs to mope, while I started to go through the cupboards, looking for food.

"Hey, Bella?" I called up the stairs.

Bella appeared at the top. "Yeah?"

"We need to go shopping tomorrow. Charlie has no food whatsoever!"

Bella laughed. "Just as long as you're not going to cook it. You're worse than Renee!"

"Speaking of Renee, you should probably email her. She's probably going crazy!"

"Oh, yeah. I totally forgot."

Bella disappeared, and I shook my head. I was going to use my _Twilight_ knowledge to try to make life easier for Bella, even if it was tiny little things like reminding her to email. I was a little relieved though. Cooking wasn't my strong suit, so I was quite happy to let Bella do it all.

That night in bed, with Bella curled up facing the window, I began to plan. I had one week before Edward would be back at school, and I couldn't afford to have another day like today. I didn't want to be panicking and running around trying to fix the future – I needed to be prepared and focused. I was going to get this right… and hopefully continue my 'Annoy Rosalie' campaign.

As I drifted off to sleep, I imagined all the different ways screw up the AU…but imagining all the ways I could annoy Rosalie made me feel better.

* * *

What would you guys do to annoy Rosalie? It's a fun game to play :P Let me know what you thought!


	6. Chapter 6

Sorry about the wait for this chapter everyone! One of my betas had some computer issues. :(

Thanks to LHarkcom and Siobhan'x again! I don't own anything from Twilight except Jen. :p

* * *

The next week went by pretty quickly. Bella and I got into a regular routine; school, home, school, home.

When I had turned up for English the next day, Edward was absent, just as planned. I was relieved to see that so far I had not managed to screw anything up, and I expected Edward back at school the next week. I had one whole week to adjust to Forks and school before I went all 'Marty McFly' and tried to alter the future - or keep it the same - I was dancing a very fine line when it came to this alternate universe.

Unfortunately, while Edward was absent, Rosalie was not. My lunch conversation on the first day seemed to have escalated my ranking in her eyes, from not worth noticing, to pest. When I entered our class on Tuesday, Rosalie gave me the death stare I had feared before. The funny thing was, now that I expected her to hate me, I wasn't afraid. I spent most of the class humming annoying songs to myself, watching Rosalie out of the corner of my eye, as she got more and more annoyed. At lunchtime, I kept Lauren and Jessica entertained with funny little jibes about Rosalie. A lifetime of blonde jokes came back to help me, and these turned into my standard repertoire.

At lunch on Tuesday, Mike commandeered us over to his table, and while initially Jessica was thrilled, it was plain to see that she was jealous of the attention Mike was giving us — especially Bella. I don't know whether it was because she was the 'nice' twin, or because I was too aware of his playboy tendencies, but Mike seemed to prefer schmoozing Bella over me. I wasn't complaining. Jessica hated me enough already, even if she was too two-faced to show it.

It seemed like all the boys preferred Bella; Mike, Eric, Edward. Maybe it was her quiet demeanor, or her natural politeness, or even her obvious purity that attracted the guys? I knew from my old life that while the boys might like to do girls like me, they dated girls like Bella. What could I say? Love them and leave them was my philosophy. In _Twilight,_ Bella had difficulty understanding why all the boys liked her, but it was obvious to me. She didn't tell them "No, I'm not interested", and in their minds, every polite smile and nod of the head was a strong "YES".

After gym on the second day of school, Bella was a little distracted. I was on a bit of a high, having won all my games of volleyball. Bella hadn't fared so well, and I vowed to try and be on her team the next day. As we walked to the car, I was trying to tell her about something funny that had happened in Chem, but I had to repeat it three times before she got it.

I sighed. "Bella. What's up?"

Bella shrugged. "Nothing, really. Mike won't stop following me around."

I snorted. "Jessica won't like that."

Grinning, Bella said, "I know, right? You noticed too? I don't want to make _another _enemy so quickly. How do I fix it?"

I shook my head, ignoring the enemy comment, which was clearly about the absent Edward. "It's a bit hard without being a total bitch and telling Mike to get stuffed. Just be nice, and tactful. Push him towards Jess. You're good at tactful."

Bella sighed, and looked out toward the car park. She was on her own on that issue. I was not getting involved with that one – Bella seemed to deal with it just fine in the book.

The week away from any _Twilight_ plot drama gave me time to reassess my situation. My relationship with Bella was growing stronger and stronger. I didn't know if this was healthy for her, or whether it would affect her decision to be with Edward later. All I knew was that I couldn't push Bella away, not when I had finally gained a family worth keeping.

I hadn't gotten much further in solving the mystery of the 'incident' in November. It seemed to be common knowledge between Bella and Charlie that _something_ had happened, but neither knew any specifics.

I was sitting at the kitchen table on Wednesday afternoon, attempting my chemistry homework (no helpful memories there), when Bella approached me.

"How're you doing?"

"These stupid questions are impossible. Who would want to write equations for chemicals anyway?"

Bella smiled. "No, silly. I meant, how are _you_ doing?"

I pondered for a minute. I didn't know what I was supposed to say. "I'm better?"

Bella nodded. "I thought so. You've been talking heaps more, and making jokes again."

"I wasn't before?"

"No," Bella said, "You were kind of a zombie. We didn't see any real life out of you for months, until one day you just said, 'I want to go home'."

Hmm…that was an interesting development. I had done a Bella-esque zombie zone out.

"Well, clearly coming home helped, didn't it? I'm much better now," I said.

Bella smiled. "That's true. If you ever want to talk though, you know where I am."

"The window side of the bed?"

Bella laughed, and left me to my impossible homework.

I also used the Edward-free week to make some concrete plans. I had been caught out on Monday, making it up as I went, reacting to situations by the hour, instead of using my knowledge.

I began making lists. The first was of all the events in the next couple of months I could think of, and notes of things I wanted to change.

Next Monday: Edward is back

Day after? Van crash (AVOID)

Edward free months (two?)

Bella gets asked to the dance (Edward will start speaking to her again.)

Edward watches Bella sleep. (Move to couch, night after dance invites)

Go to La Push, talk to Jacob

Remember to help Bella work out vampires, so she knows I'm in on it.

Bella goes to Port Angeles (need to make sure I go)

DON'T LET BELLA GO OFF ON HER OWN.

Edward and Bella talk about vampires (timing may change if I am successful with Port Angeles)

Day of dance = meadow scene MUST HAPPEN

Day after, meet family. NO BASEBALL

After I had navigated the events of _Twilight_, I was pretty sweet until September. I would have plenty of time to reassess my plans then. If I planned too far ahead, things would change, and I would be wasting my time. And for all I knew, I wouldn't be here in September. I might not even be here in a week. The plans were just to make things clearer in my head.

I also made a list of the secrets I was keeping. It sounded really silly, but I needed to keep track of what I was saying to whom.

That I am from an alternate universe

That everyone here is a character in a book

That I knew about vampires, werewolves, the Cullens etc.

That I know everything that is going to happen

My magic memories

…November?

I left number 6 with just 'November', because even _I _didn't know what secret I was keeping. All I knew was that it was something no-one else knew

Out of all my secrets, the only one that I could even remotely think about revealing at this stage was number 4. It sounded silly, but because of Alice I felt like the Cullens and Bella would understand some sort of fortunetelling better than, 'you're all characters in a novel I love.'

For the moment though, I couldn't tell anybody anything, not until Bella worked out about the vampires and such. Once she had dealt with the supernatural stuff a little bit, then it was more likely she would be able to handle some of my own crazy powers. I hoped.

Until then, I had to just keep trying to manipulate the _Twilight_ world, and try to work out what had happened to me in November. Every time I tried to access that month using my 'memories', all I came up with was a blank; a disconnected television. That in itself was unusual; there were times where I couldn't remember things, regular things like chemistry equations I should have learned in sophomore year, but I never got static like that. It was just something that people forgot. I hadn't suddenly gained vampire memory of every tiny thing that had happened to me, just regular memories.

However, that one traumatic event had a place in my head — it wasn't a fact I had once known and forgotten, but an event that occupied a certain time and space, I just couldn't see it.

Mind you, after thinking really hard (and working with the diary), I had managed to piece together some of the months after November. I had stayed home from school for two weeks, and when I went back, I had been, like Bella had said, a zombie. I definitely remembered seeing a psychologist, and that she told Bella and Renee that I, "needed more time to heal". I remembered telling Bella that I wanted to move back to Forks, and that the reason I gave her was that, "I need to get away from it".

It wasn't much, but it sort of made sense. If I had gone into a comatose sort of state, I would have been in my own world, and not paying attention to anything not worth remembering.

Frustrating? Yes, to say the least. I hid my lists in my sock drawer, then I moved them to under the mattress. I finally decided to just destroy them, because if anyone ever found them, the game was up. No more alternate universe — everything would come crashing down.

After a super-boring weekend, in which I cleaned the house (Bella claimed that if she was cooking, I was cleaning. Stupid) and Bella went to explore town (she was back in forty-five minutes), we went back to school.

Living in the AU was tough sometimes, but when I woke up on that Monday, the light was shining differently through the window.

"Snow! Bella, Bella. Wake up! There's snow!"

Bella groaned and rolled over. "Go away."

I shook her, and bounded over to the window to look. "Bella! Why aren't you excited? I've never seen snow before!"

"Neither have I, and I don't plan to. I plan to stay in this bed all day."

"Ugh, Bella!" I decided to guilt her into being excited. "Bella… you're ruining it for me."

Bella sighed and sat up. "Hooray. Snow. Oh, what a joyous occasion."

I smirked. "Your sarcasm is noted, and not appreciated. Do you know how lucky we are, Bella? There are people in the world who spend their whole lives without seeing snow, but not us. We're lucky."

"If I had my way, I would be one of those 'unlucky' people in Phoenix who don't get to see snow."

I threw my pillow at her. "Stuff you, Bella. You ruin everything."

I quickly got dressed, and after throwing her a dirty look, stalked out of the room.

I was genuinely angry with Bella for ruining my first experience of snow. In Australia, the only people who got to see snow were those rich enough to have apartments in the mountains. There were only a handful of mountains high enough to get snow, so they were pretty sought after. The average working class family didn't get snow just around their house — they got rain, even in the dead of winter. Bella just didn't get how lucky she was sometimes, and she wanted to give it all up to be a vampire? What a waste.

Bella drove to school that Monday. I had tried to drive the truck while Bella was inside reading, and found that I could do it, but not too well. I had a licence, and I could drive the truck, but it wasn't one of my best skills. Bella could drive all she liked, because I just didn't want to.

In Calculus I continued my assault on Rosalie. In all honesty, the math was just too easy, and I was really left with nothing else to do.

I was humming '99 bottles of beer on the wall' over and over, when Rosalie finally cracked.

"Will you shut up?" I looked at Rosalie, and she was giving me a dirty look.

"I'm sorry. I didn't think I was humming loud enough for anyone to hear."

"Well, I can hear it. So shut up."

I raised my eyebrows. "Wow. You must have really good hearing."

Rosalie looked away. I had successfully reminded her that she wasn't supposed to be able to hear me, without giving anything away. Jen:1, Rosalie:0. I was going to have to be more creative with my campaign though, humming was just too easy.

I sat with Bella again in Government, which was easily my most boring class. It was weird to be in a world where George W. Bush was still the president, and where America was the center of the universe. I spent the class trying to decide if the Cullens would vote for Obama or McCain, or whether they'd vote at all. Would they care? It was years before I'd have to contemplate voting in America, and for all I knew, I wouldn't be here for that.

I was walking into English, chatting to a nice girl named Lucy, when I spotted Edward Cullen. He was sitting in the same seat as the week before, right in the middle of the classroom. Right at the same desk that I had been sitting at the week he had been away. I had sort of anticipated that would be the case, as the Cullens didn't seem to make friends with the other kids (I wonder why?), but it was different seeing the reality in front of me.

I stood next to the desk and just stared at Edward. He slowly turned his head to look at me, eyebrows raised.

"Can I help you?"

Gulp. "Err… that's my seat."

He stared at me with his bright, amber eyes. "I usually sit here, but as it's the last desk in the room, I guess we have to share."

I nodded. "Uh, I guess, that's fair."

I slid into the seat next to him, feeling very vulnerable. Bitchy Jen was cowering under the desk, just when I needed her most to protect me. Edward wasn't safe to talk to like Rosalie; one wrong move and I could scare him away from Bella forever.

"You must be Jen Swan."

I looked at him, eyebrows raised. "How would you know that?"

Edward had already slipped up. He had never been introduced to Bella or me.

He at least had the decency to look uncomfortable. "Um, Rosalie told me about you. You're new. Everyone knows about you."

"Oh, I see. Well, Edward, my name is Jen Swan. Nice to meet you."

It was Edward's turn to raise his eyebrows. I realized my mistake.

"Jessica told me about you," I quickly retorted, "You're a Cullen. Everyone knows about you."

And once again I was in control of the conversation. I didn't know why I was fighting to have the upper hand. Was it pride? Was it a desire to prove myself? I didn't know. All I knew was that I _needed_ to be on the front foot. By making sure I was controlling the conversation, Edward couldn't surprise me — I didn't need to give away information I wanted to keep secret.

As though he had read my mind (which was ironic because he couldn't), Edward turned away, deliberately ceasing all conversation.

I should have been relieved, I should have been happy that I didn't have to try and keep up pretences. But, being the person I was, I couldn't help but add a snarky, "Well, fine, then" under my breath.

I didn't like being snubbed, regardless of the circumstances. I knew it was childish and immature, but what would any one else do? I wasn't going to hide beneath my hair and look mournfully at Edward. I wasn't Bella.

As I took a deep breath and tried to calm myself down, I realized that my comment had gained Edward's attention. He was staring at me intensely, like you would stare at a picture on a page that was too small. Edward was trying to read me again.

I shook my head in disbelief. "I don't know what you're trying to do, but you're being kind of creepy."

He broke away his eye contact, and looked at his book. He then looked back at me again, but this time, a smile adorned his face.

"I'm sorry. You must be Bella's sister. I met her in Biology last week."

_Ahh. Now he's trying to be friendly. Nice try._

"Yes, she mentioned you, and you were an ass to her as well. I don't know who you think you are, but that's uncalled for. She's never done anything to anyone."

Edward wrinkled his nose. _Bella's never done anything except smell delicious_. Poor thing.

I sighed, deliberately blowing my breath towards him. "There's nothing wrong with us Swan girls, so stop treating us like we smell bad."

Edward's eyes widened, his hands were gripping the edge of the table, and he slid his chair back slightly. Clearly, he had just as much of a problem with my scent as he did with Bella's. His golden eyes were darkening. That was my cue to leave.

"Excuse me, Mr. Mason. I need to go to the bathroom."

I gathered my things, and looked at Edward. He was still frozen in the same place as before, rigid, but his eyes were following my movements.

"Be nice to Bella," I told him, "she's scared of you right now. Don't scare her more."

I turned and left. I really hoped I hadn't done any damage with my thinly veiled remarks about 'smell', or driven Edward off by blowing my scent his way. I really hoped he still went to Biology, and still talked to Bella. I had tried to make it clear that he needed to make her feel at ease, but I was afraid that I may have distracted him. My out of control temper may have ruined one of the greatest love stories of my generation. Bella's fairytale ending could have possibly been destroyed because of my stubbornness. Why couldn't I have just left him alone?

It wasn't until lunchtime that I was able to see the harm I had inflicted on the timeline of 'Bella and Edward fall in love'. Mike was entertaining us with his plans for a snowball fight after school, and I was trying to dissuade him, saying "It'll rain soon, and we won't get a chance," but he wouldn't listen. Bella was nodding at me, pleased that I was trying to prevent an event that she feared.

For all Bella's talk of 'protecting' me, I was doing a hell of a lot more shielding. Bella just didn't have the snarky words to defend herself like I did. Without me, Bella would be decimated by these kids. I didn't know how she survived them alone in _Twilight_. She didn't know how to fight fire with fire, like I did.

During this conversation, we had lined up to get our lunch. I was keeping an eye on the room, looking out for the Cullens. I didn't know what I would do if Edward wasn't there—everything would be ruined. The van incident was _tomorrow_ for crying out loud. I was going to make sure Bella wasn't anywhere near the parking lot tomorrow, but I still wanted the reassurance that Edward liked Bella enough to save her, just in case something went wrong. I was definitely playing it safe at this stage, because it would be so easy to stuff everything up and make Edward hate Bella. Or worse, kill Bella. Or even worse, kill me! Alternate universes were difficult places, who knew what could happen?

I turned to pay the lunch lady when I was overcome with a wave of nausea. I looked at Bella, only to see the same green expression on her face as mine.

"What is it Bella?"

She blushed, and looked away. "I'll just get a soda today, thanks."

I did another quick scan of the room, and saw the Cullens in their usual seats. For the first time in a week, Edward was with them. While I had been hoping Edward would turn up to lunch, Bella had clearly been dreading it.

"Bella. Are you alright?"

"Actually, I feel a little sick."

I rolled my eyes. "Nice try, Bella. You're still going to Biology."

Her eyes flashed up at me. "Huh? How did you-"

"It's a twin thing, silly. I know everything," I said, tapping my temple.

We reached our table, and Mike and Jessica launched back into their plans for the epic snow battle (yay). Bella sipped at her drink, while I dug into my fries, feeling guilty about the grease, but at the same time relieved that it was the AU. You couldn't get fat in an Alternate Universe right? Right? I really hoped not.

I was splitting my attention between the Cullens and Bella, who was moping and being a general misery. I knew that there would be a moment where Bella would look at the Cullens, and they would act human and throw ice around, but it hadn't happened yet.

During one of my glances at the Cullens, I noticed Alice was staring at me. Tiny and perfect, her golden eyes were trying to pierce into my brain. I couldn't think why Alice would do something like that—perhaps my other-worldly presence set off her psychic alarms? Edward said something to her, and she broke away, frustration evident in her facial features.

I sighed. This was ridiculous.

"Hey, Bella? Look. Edward is back."

Bella peeked up from underneath her hair (someone buy that girl a headband!), and glanced at the Cullens. Immediately, the snow ice fighting scene emerged in front of me, Emmett shaking his hair and Rosalie and Alice cringing away. My words had set off the event.

The unusual thing was that they hadn't needed to be so obvious about acting human when I was looking. Why was it okay for Alice to stare at me like a psycho, but the second _Bella_ looks, they need to act perfect? It didn't make sense. The only thing that was good about the situation was that it happened almost exactly as planned, aside from Alice. Bella would have to go to biology now - she had made herself promise in the book. I somehow just knew that she had still made that promise. I could feel it in my bones – maybe we did have a 'twin thing'?

"Bella, what are you staring at?" Jess enquired, following Bella's line of vision.

Suddenly both Edward and Alice were staring at us. Edward was staring at Bella, while Alice was looking at me. Alice wasn't supposed to look at all!

Jessica was murmuring into Bella's ear, probably asking why Edward was staring. Alice was still staring—I don't think she had any idea how weird that was. I wasn't going to look away or hide like Bella; no way. I stared right back at that little vampire. I gave her the stink-eye so badly she actually cringed and looked away. I won.

"Jen! Stop pissing them off!" Bella had lifted her head off her arms to tell me off.

"What? They were staring at us first!"

"Just…don't Jen!" She put her head back down.

I sighed. "You're still going to biology. You need to go, so stop milking it."

She groaned, "Why?"

I ignored her whining, and for the rest of lunch, I tried to focus on the conversation around me.

"I can't wait for the next episode of _The OC,_" Lauren said,"I need to know what happens to Marissa!"

The mention of _The OC _piqued my interest. I had liked that show in Australia.

I jumped in, eager to talk about something familiar from my old life. "Oh, I'm behind on episodes. Where are you up to? Has Marissa died yet?"

Jessica and Lauren's mouths were perfect Os. Crap. They were clearly nowhere near the end of season 3.

"Sorry, that hasn't happened yet! Marissa shot Trey, right?"

Their mouths remained open, and Jessica shook her head infinitesimally. Bella had lifted her head, and was frowning.

I was really mucking this up. "So he hasn't tried to rape her yet?"

Bella put her head in her hands. Lauren was clenching her teeth, and Jessica was taking deep breaths, trying to control her anger. Crap, crap, crap.

"I mean, I don't know if that stuff happens. I read about it on a forum. It probably won't happen. Just guesses from fans."

Lauren let out a breath. "God, for a second I thought you had spoiled the next episode for us."

I shook my head, glad to have somehow salvaged the disastrous conversation. "Nope, just guesses. Though if I'm right, you guys all owe me money!"

Lauren smiled. "Deal."

Easy cash.

Bella wasn't happy with me. At the end of lunch, it began to rain. I pumped my fist, and pointed at Mike. "I told you that would happen! Winner!"

Bella gripped my arm hard, and I actually cried out loud. She gave me a dirty look, then went off with Mike to biology. Uh oh. I was in trouble.

Later, in gym, I killed volleyball. I was serving, and managed to find the perfect corner that Jessica had left open. I aimed it in that direction, and cheered when Jessica's arm just missed the ball. It was just like shooting a goal in netball—a game that I probably wouldn't be good at in the AU because of my stunted height.

It was Bella's turn to serve, and everyone on the team ducked. The ball went out on the full, and Jessica, on the opposite team, sniggered.

I yelled at her, "Shut your face, Stanley!"

Jessica laughed, "What? I didn't do anything!"

Bella looked distraught, and I opened my mouth to yell at Jess. Bella shook her head, and I could almost hear her pleading to me.

_Don't! She's my only friend!_

I rolled my eyes and shut my mouth. I grumbled to myself, wishing that I could smack Jessica in the mouth. I took my anger out through a well-aimed spike that hit her in the head. Jess glared at me, and I gave her a toothy smile. She was beginning to learn not to mess with me.

In the car on the way home, I called Bella out on her behaviour in Gym.

"Bella, why wouldn't you let me kick Jessica's ass in volleyball? And _don't_ say that she's your only friend!"

Bella's mouth dropped. "When did I say that?"

I frowned. _When did she say that? _"I don't know."

"Well, either way, I don't want you mouthing off to all the people that are being friendly to us! You're ruining everything!"

I shook my head. "No, I'm not. Jessica isn't a good friend—she's so two-faced. Be friends with Angela. She's nicer."

Bella gripped the steering wheel harder, and her voice was icy, "I can be friends with whoever I like, and I want to be friends with Jessica _and_ Angela. What about you with Lauren? Can't you see what she's doing?"

Now I was angry. "What about Lauren? She's always nice to me."

"Yeah, because she's scared of you. You don't see all the nasty looks she gives me, and all things she says under her breath in my other classes. She's only being nice so that you don't rip into her like you do Jessica and Rosalie."

"I don't-"

"And, Edward Cullen told me that you were being a cow to him in English."

"But-"

"Why can't you be _nice? _Why do you have to pick on all the people that want to be my friend?"

"Edward Cullen doesn't want to be your friend!"

Bella huffed. "Yes, he does. He was really nice to me today, and he actually listened to what I had to say. You…" She trailed off, and it was clear what she was thinking.

_You don't listen to me at all._

Bella pulled the car into our driveway. I grabbed my bag and jumped out.

"Well, you know what, Bella? Edward was a dick to me first, and I _told_ him to be nice to you. So think what you want."

I slammed the door in her bewildered face, and ran inside, into our room.

I usually didn't feel like a typical teenager, but today, I was sobbing into my pillow like an infant.

How could I have messed up so easily? I thought I had been doing so well, but I had been making things worse for Bella.

"_Why do you have to pick on all the people who want to be my friend?"_

Bella's words haunted me, over and over. I was a bully. I'd been bitching about Rosalie, and I'd attacked Jessica the moment I'd met her. Lauren was only nice to me because she saw how I treated Rosalie and Jessica. Even Edward had told Bella about my behaviour, and they'd only spoken the one time today.

_I don__'t belong. I should never have come here._

I didn't want to remember that I had no choice—that I was here through no fault of my own. I was in denial, and wanted nothing more in that moment than to wake up back in Australia. This world was like a bad dream that went on and on.

After about half an hour, I felt like I was done crying. I wiped my eyes, and decided to make things better with Bella. Somehow, I could tell that she was just as upset as me. I had this inexplicable urge to rush down there and comfort her.

I ran down the stairs two at a time, hoping that Bella hadn't gone for a walk. I found Bella crying in front of the TV.

I took a tentative step towards her. "Bella, I-"

"It could have been you!" she wailed, pointing at the screen.

"I'm so-"

"Look at it! It could have been you!"

I looked at the TV screen, not understanding what was going on. When I saw the screen, I took a sharp breath.

That was me. Well, my face, my old face. Blonde, blue eyed, and grinning at the camera. And then the face was gone, followed by another face, then another, then the old woman who had glared at me on the train, then another. Feeling numb, I read the headline running underneath it:

_FIFTY-SIX KILLED IN MELBOURNE TRAIN CRASH_

I sat down suddenly, my mind in a fog.

I was dead.

* * *

Sorry about the ending! The next chapter is a bit shorter, so it should be up quicker than this one! Feel free to ask questions! :)


	7. Chapter 7

Hello out there! Sorry about the wait on such a cliff hanger - this chapter should answer some of your questions. Thanks to LHarkcom and siobhan'x again for their wonderful beta work.

Enjoy the chapter!

* * *

Chapter Seven- Forgetting

I was dead. DEAD. The television was telling me that I was no longer living. In a daze, I sat down on the couch next to Bella.

"What…what happened?"

Bella sniffed and wiped her eyes. "A truck ran a red light at an intersection and slammed into a train. It killed all those people…"

I felt like I was hearing this through a fog, everything was fuzzy and indistinct.

"But, but, why did you say 'It could have been you'?"

Bella quickly glanced at me before focusing on the television screen. "They were talking about one of the passengers who died. She was only seventeen, the same age as us Her mom died, and she had run away. Her body was so mangled that it took them a week to work out that she was the missing girl. It's just so sad!"

I felt nauseous. It was beyond any experience I had ever had to hear that my old body had been mangled, that I had been torn apart so completely that it took them a week to work out who I was. Visions of blood and gore and ripped flesh filled my brain, and I knew that they would be imprinted there forever.

I swallowed the bile in my mouth, and tried to act like I wasn't as upset as I was.

"But, Bella…_how_ could it have been me? I…" I stumbled over the next bit, "I'm here in America. There's, there's no way I c-could've been on that train."

The irony in my words shocked me. Of course I HAD been on that train, and it WAS me.

"Well, when you ran away…Jen, I was just so scared! How were we supposed to know you were alive? That girl's family would have been worried sick about where she had gone. And to find out that she had been dead for a week?" Bella was starting to break down again. "Jen, I don't know what I'd do if they had found you dead…I just…"

Bella broke into sobs, and I moved closer to her, patting her on the back. I couldn't really focus on anything right now. It was just too much information to process at one time.

"Bella. Calm down. I'm here now, and I'm not going anywhere. It's just a news story. And for all we know that girl had no family." I couldn't keep the bitterness out of my voice. "She probably had no-one that cared about her. No-one that cares that she's dead."

Bella looked up at me. "Huh?"

I shook my head. "It doesn't matter."

Bella sighed. "And now I feel so guilty for yelling at you before, because we never know what could happen. You could die tomorrow, and I wouldn't care about any of the stuff that happened today. I don't care about those other kids, I only care about you."

I smiled weakly. "Thanks, Bella. I'm sorry, too. I shouldn't be trying to sabotage your friendships…I guess I'm a bit jealous."

Bella sniffed. "Of course you're jealous — I'm an awesome sister."

"I know. Thanks for being there for me, Bella."

"Any time."

I stood up, and I don't remember the trip up the stairs and into my room. My mind was just overwhelmed, a swirling mess of thoughts and emotions.

The only thing I could think of was finding out more information. I booted up the computer, and waited for the Internet to work. Stupid 2005 Internet! Back home in 2010 we had broadband…

The reminder of home, and speedy Internet, set me off, and I was once again bawling. It seemed like I did nothing but cry today. The browser finally opened up, and I set about finding my old Australian news website. What would you know; on the home page was my old face, once again. I read the article, my fingers shakily scrolling down the page.

"Authorities have finally determined the identity of the final body in the Springvale train crash, which killed fifty-six people last Sunday.

"Jennifer Porter, 17, of Pakenham, was reported missing by child services last Tuesday. It has finally been discovered that Jennifer was indeed on the train involved in Sunday's crash, and did not survive.

"In a tragic twist, Jennifer's mother passed away two days before the crash. Questions have been raised about the time it took for child services to report Jennifer missing, as Jennifer is believed to have disappeared early Sunday morning.

'Her mother had just _died,' _were the words from a spokesman, 'We thought Jennifer was with relatives.'

"More details surrounding Jennifer's life are coming to light, with reports of her mother's fatal alcoholism and drug abuse.

'They took Jen away from her mother when she was twelve,' a neighbour confided, "But when her grandmother died, they sent her right back."

"Child Services are facing much scrutiny from the public, as the story of missing Jennifer was publicised nation wide.

'It's a disgrace how they let that girl down,' the neighbour claimed."

The article went on to describe more of the crash: how the truck driver was drunk, how it slammed into the side of the train, how the train driver had seen it coming and tried to brake in time, but couldn't. A memorial service was being held for the people who died, and an inquest into level crossing safety was under way.

No one was going to be at the service for me. An inquest wasn't going to help me now. I was dead; my body mangled and destroyed, and I didn't know what that meant for my time in _Twilight._ Would I have to stay, given that I couldn't go back?

I printed out the page, and slipped it inside the cover of my diary. I wanted a physical reminder that I had once existed. I ran my finger over the black and white picture, tracing my long hair, the curve of my chin, the shape of my eyes. I would never be that girl again.

Sitting there looking at my old face, I realized that I had been missing something very important. It was _2005. _As part of my alternate universe experience, I had jumped back in time five years. This picture of myself at age seventeen was wrong. In 2005, I was only twelve, and living with my grandmother.

How could a train crash jump back in time five years? _Twilight _was set in 2005, but my life was in 2010. Wrong, wrong, wrong. When I died I would have had the _Twilight_ book in my hand, something that couldn't have happened here.

It didn't make sense. Time travel was confusing.

My lips trembled as I reread the article. My Mum was DEAD. I was DEAD.

I felt so guilty. I had been enjoying myself too much here in the AU, making friends, going to school. I had forgotten about my old life. It felt like an age ago, but really, it was less than two weeks since my Mum had died. I should've been grieving. How could I have forgotten her so soon?

Instead of thinking about Mum, I had been screwing everything up for Bella, being bitchy to her friends, and being a nuisance. Now I couldn't go back. I had to assume I was stuck in this world, and the news footage of the train crash had showed me that.

That's when I suddenly realized: The train crash didn't happen. Well, it did, but not in this world.

The same magic that brought me to the world of _Twilight_ also showed me the train crash, so that I would know I was dead. There were no second chances, no 'and it was all a dream' endings. I didn't get to go back, and while I had suspected it, now I knew for sure.

I wasn't sure why I had been brought to this universe; was it my wishful thinking on the train right before I died? I knew that I had been given a crap deal back in Melbourne, I mean, I was going to be remembered as the poor runaway who tragically died in one of Melbourne greatest train disasters. It wasn't the life that I had imagined having as a little kid.

My life in the _Twilight _world was infinitely better than the one I had lived in the OU, but I wasn't appreciating it like I should have been. I had been running around, mouthing off at everyone who tried to get close to Bella and me, including the Cullens. My poor attitude towards everyone at school wasn't winning me any friends; in fact, it was turning away the one person who loved unconditionally. It wasn't fair on Bella.

I had a father for the first time in my life, and how had I treated him? Like an outsider, and I felt like I had barely spoken to him all week. I had been too self-centered, too busy making plans, to even spend half an hour with Charlie. My Mum had died, and the AU had given me a second parent to love and appreciate, and I was wasting the opportunity.

Maybe the real reason for the train crash was to make me see all the things I was wasting? This was my _only_ second chance, and I didn't get to go back to Melbourne if I screwed it up. The news report used the word "mangled" too much for me to even contemplate it. I had to forget my old life, and make the most of my new one, to start acting like I was here for a lifetime, instead of just a temporary visitor.

I heard the door slam downstairs, and I resolved from that moment to try harder to fit in. I flew down the stairs, and attacked Charlie at the door with a hug.

"Woah! Hey, Jen. Uh, are you okay?"

I bit my lip. "Yes. I just, I don't know, I feel like I haven't spent any time with you yet."

Charlie chuckled. "Okay, Jen. Well, I'm just going to watch the game tonight, so you're welcome to watch it with me."

From the living room, Bella was peeking around the door. She was a mess. Her eyes were bleary, and her hair rumpled.

I lowered my voice, "Actually, Dad, I might take a rain check."

Charlie looked at Bella, and then back at me. "Good idea."

I broke away and bounced over to Bella, trying to dredge up some enthusiasm. "Come on, Bella, what's for dinner? Unless you're letting me cook?"

That brought a smile to her face. "Yeah, sure, like that's going to happen. I actually want to_ eat_ food tonight."

The rest of the night I spent trying to cheer Bella up. The news story had shaken her up her big time, and I was a bit surprised that it had affected her so badly. I knew that it had something to do with that fateful event in November, but seriously? I _died_, and I was coping better than her.

_I need to investigate that_.

The only time I left Bella between dinner and bed was to have a shower. I wandered out, rubbing my hair with a towel, and Bella had lapsed into her usual mopey self, lying flat on her back on our bed.

"Bella?"

She looked up at me. "Yeah?"

I sat down on the bed, feeling quite toasty and comfortable in my pajamas. "Tell me about your day."

Bella sighed, and looked away. "You were there for most of it."

I nudged her, "Nah, I was only there for lunch and a few classes. What happened in biology, and trig, and the few minutes you and Mike had _alone_ before gym? I need to know!"

Bella groaned. "I don't want to talk about Mike. Ugh."

"Well, then, tell me about Biology! You mentioned speaking to Edward before…" I trailed off, remembering our earlier fight.

"Oh, that." Bella took a deep breath, and I patiently waited for her to begin. I didn't care how sensitive the topic was between us, the information needed to be public.

"Bella…" I had a sudden brainwave, a jolt of inspiration. "Edward didn't say anything about me, did he?"

Her eyes flashed towards me. "Yes, he did. He mentioned that he had English with you. But he was mostly focused on me. He wanted to introduce himself because he was so rude last time."

"You mean, he was a psychopathic ass last time."

Bella giggled. "He wasn't that bad today, actually. Very polite, like the men in those old Hollywood films."

_Try further back_. I smirked, and felt safe in the knowledge that I hadn't raised any alarm bells with Edward. He would definitely be the one to work out my secret – he had access to the minds of everyone and anyone I may confide in.

"Then why did you say he had said I was rude?"

Bella shrugged. 'I don't know. I just had a feeling you had said something. I could just tell you had called him creepy or something like that."

I was surprised how dead on she was about me saying that, but decided to run with it. "But he _is, _Bella! He kept staring!"

"I didn't think it was that creepy." She smiled quietly to herself. Yuck, Bella loved the stalker stare. Of course. "Though, Mike really is creepy. And annoying."

"What did he say about me?" Bella looked away shiftily. "Bellaaaaaa, tell me!"

"Oh, fine! He said that he was going to organise a beach trip to La Push, but the girls weren't sure about inviting us, because you were such a cow." Bella peeked up at me from behind her hair, waiting to see my reaction.

I was taken aback momentarily, but not surprised really. I knew I was a bitch, but I had been trying my best to hide it, in my opinion. Clearly, it was a mission I had failed.

"Well, Bella, I've already decided to change my snarky ways. From now on, I will be seen and not heard. My bitchy lips are sealed." I mimed zipping my lips together and throwing away the key. "I am going to be nice, and happy, and if I don't have something nice to say, I won't say it at all."

Bella laughed, and whacked me with her pillow. "I've missed this part of you, Jen! Like you could keep your mouth shut about your opinions!"

I grabbed my own pillow, and thumped her back. "Yeah, yeah, Bella. I'm a bitch. Get used to it!"

If I was going to be staying in the alternate universe permanently, I needed to make sure that things, for now, stayed as similar as possible. Bella needed her school friends, at least until she falls in love with Edward. That wasn't due until Spring Break, so I had to hold my tongue until then. I wasn't sure if I had to include Rosalie on my "be nice to" mental list.

But thankfully, minor pillow fights with my twin sister didn't fall too far out of canon. I felt sure that it wouldn't interfere with anything. Exhausted from our emotional day, Bella and I said goodnight to Charlie, and called it a night.

I went to bed feeling pretty resolved about the whole thing. I was stuck in the alternate universe and there was no going back, but for the first time since arriving here, I was plagued by awful dreams.

I dreamed I was being chased down an alley by shadows. They called out to me, screaming, "You're nothing! Nothing!"

I could see the busy street in the distance, and I pushed for it, running as hard as I could.

Bella's voice intruded on my dream, crying, "I don't know what I'd do without you!"

I fought harder, but the streetlights were moving further away, and the shadows were starting to surround me. "I'm trying, Bella!" I sobbed.

Then the shadows were around me, whispering to me now, "You're forgetting, don't forget, don't…"

I was on my knees, as the shadows whipped around my face and hair. "What do you want?" I screamed.

The lights of a car swung towards me, and it's brakes screeched. The car was going to…

I woke up with a start, and Bella was shaking me. "Wake up, Jen! We're running late!"

I groaned and tried to open my eyes, but they were stuck together like glue from all the tears last night. I must have been crying in my sleep, and not even realized it.

"Come ON, Jen. Get up!"

I rubbed my eyes, and stumbled to the bathroom. I washed my face, and tried to tame my hair, as the lack of shower and awful night's sleep had turned it into a rat's nest.

Before I knew it, Bella was dragging me back into the bedroom, and dressing me.

"Bella…" I whined as she pulled a cream sweater over my head.

"Shut up, Jen! We're so late! Just get ready!"

She threw a breakfast bar at me, and pointed at the door. I obediently grabbed my school bag, and trooped down the stairs, out the door, and sat in the passenger side of the car.

What had happened last night? I'd always heard that emotion denied is emotion deferred; maybe the pain of my, gulp, death had finally hit me. Or perhaps it was the death of my mother? There was too much pain for me to deal with. I tried to remember my dream.

_Don't forget…you're forgetting_…

"Ugh!" I groaned as Bella hopped into the driver's side, slamming the door, and wrenching the key.

"Come on!" she cried, as she stalled the large truck, before getting it going, throwing it into reverse and lurching down the street. I could feel her irritation, like it was pulsing through my own body.

_Remember, remember, what was I forgetting? _I was so stumped, but it felt important. I had to work it out.

"Bella, why are we in such a rush?"

"Because you slept in, and I wanted to leave early today." Luckily we weren't too far from school, and we pulled into the school lot.

"Why did you want to leave early?"

Bella sighed, and turned the ignition off. "It was really icy when I woke up, and I was afraid it would take me ages to drive here. But it took us no time at all. This truck does better in the ice than I thought it would."

Ice. ICE. I knew what I had forgotten.

"Bella, let's go."

"What?"

"LET'S GO!"

"But we're early now, can't we just sit in the…"

"NO!" I jumped out of the truck, and Bella followed suit. Her eyes were scanning the car park, looking for the Cullens. As soon as she saw Edward, her face lit up a little. So that was the real reason she wanted to be early. I had no time for that; I just needed to get moving.

"Jen, look. Charlie must have gotten up early to put chains on the truck." She paused at the corner of the truck, wanting to have a nostalgic moment. Not on my watch though.

I grabbed her arm. "Bella, let's move!" How could I be sure that Edward would save us?

She tried to pull her arm away. "Jen, let go! Jen!"

By then it was too late to change anything. As I was tugging on Bella's sleeve, an out of control van careened around the corner, brakes screeching.

It was surreal. Everything seemed to happen at once. Bella's eyes widened, and she barely had time to turn away. I didn't even get that much time, and I just gripped Bella's sleeve, watching the van skid toward us.

Then _it_ happened. Bella disappeared from my grasp, pushed away by a blur of grey. There was a terrifying moment when I knew that Bella had been saved, but I was going to die. Again.

As I thought this, my leg was pulled out from under me, pulling me away from the van. I threw my left hand out to catch me, and felt a sharp crack in my wrist and shoulder. I screamed, but then my head hit the asphalt and everything went black.

It was cold. My head throbbed and there was shooting pains running up and down my arm. _Well there goes my volleyball season._

I blearily tried to open my eyes, and found that I was in a tiny gap between a tan car and the van. Bella, Edward and I were squashed in together, with Bella crushed up against Edward's chest, and me curled up against her legs. If I hadn't been feeling so awful, I would have been totally more excited to be so close to Edward Cullen, but near-death experiences tend to realign your perspective. I was alive. Hooray.

I could hear Bella's voice, as if it was from a distance, and I strained to listen.

"You were by your car!"

"No, I wasn't." Edward's velvet voice crooned, trying to convince her.

"I saw you."

"Bella, I was standing with you, and I pulled you out of the way."

"No."

"Please, Bella." His voice was delicious. I wanted someone to say my name like that. It really was too bad that I had pegged Edward for Bella. The more I got to know Edward, the more I wished I was an Edward-stealing hussy.

"Why?" I loved that Bella was holding onto this. _Be strong, Bella!_

"Trust me."

I tried to sit up, but I felt too dizzy. My arm throbbed and I groaned, and Bella and Edward's heads whipped towards me.

"Jenny, Jenny, are you okay? You were out for a while there!" Bella's eyes were searching mine, and I tried to keep them in focus.

I held back the vomit that was threatening to come up, and fought off the waves of pain. "Bella, don't trust him."

"What?" Bella was confused, and Edward's eyes narrowed. _How do you like that, sunshine?_

"Don't let him convince you. Trust your instincts."

Edward now tried to intervene. "Jen, you've hit your head pretty hard…"

I wanted to go to sleep, but I knew I had to get this out, while we were stuck here. It was my only chance. "Bella, you're right. Don't doubt yourself…"

A roaring filled my ears, and I was out like a light again.

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A/N - Sorry for another cliff hanger - next chapter is under way. What do you think? Should Jen have done something different? Are you satisfied with the reason for the crash? Please let me know! Jess xo


	8. Chapter 8

Hello there! Sorry about the wait on a cliffie! Hopefully this will answer some of your questions!

Thanks to LHarkcom & siobhan'x from PTB for making my writing look pretty, even after I wrote some of it at 1 am! Enjoy!

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Chapter 8 – Nausea and Football

I needed to vomit. All I could think was that I needed to be sick. I tried to sit up to find a bucket, a bag, anything to be sick in, but as I pushed myself up with my arm, a sharp pain shooting up my arm forced me back down again.

I whimpered, "Bella! Bella!"

"Jenny! I'm right here, just stay down, okay?"

I moaned, "I feel sick!"

A warm hand grasped my good one, and I gripped it tight. I wasn't dead, but I felt terrible.

I opened my eyes, and had a good look around. I was in a hospital bed, in the middle of a busy ward. People were rushing past us, and Bella was crouched by my bed, looking up at me, with tears in her eyes.

I moaned. I felt really terrible, like I had been run over by a freight train.

"Bella…what's the damage?"

"Huh?" Bella was confused, as apparently my question didn't make sense.

"What's wrong with me?"

Bella sighed. "We aren't sure yet, they want to x-ray you. But you definitely had a dislocated shoulder, which they fixed, and a suspected concussion."

I tried to wiggle my fingers on my left hand, and I hissed as it sent pain through my arm. "I'd say it's a broken wrist," I said, bitterly.

I had been getting used to all the weird things in my life, but was surprised when I was hit with another vivid memory. I had been getting flashes and voices that helpfully reminded me of conversations and events, but it was rare that I got the full visions and scenes like I had when I first arrived.

_Bella was lying in a hospital bed, her right arm strapped to her side. I was parading around with a clipboard in my hand, waving it._

"_Miss Swan, as your doctor, I really must insist that you stop running and walking. You are giving me too much work to do!"_

_Bella giggled. "I'm sorry, Doctor Swan."_

_I sniffed. "It will not do! A broken collarbone should not be taken lightly! No, my recommendation is that you cease all physical activities, including walking!"_

_Bella burst out laughing. "What?"_

_I frowned and looked at the clipboard. "Yes, you are a hazard to all of us able-bodied people who don't trip over things. Don't argue with me, Miss Swan, I know everything." I tapped my temple._

_Bella tried to look subdued. "Yes, Doctor Swan."_

_The door of the ward swung open, and a young woman doctor walked in, followed by Renee. I hastily put the clipboard back, and smiled at Bella._

_The doctor was pleased. "Well, you're looking better now."_

_I winked at Renee, and Bella smiled. "Thanks to 'Doctor Swan', here."_

The vivid memory ended, and internally I smiled. It was a nice memory, and it made me feel a bit better about letting Bella look after me.

"Yeah, sure, Doctor Swan - because you are the expert on wrist breaks." Bella tried to smile, and I felt a bit shocked. I guessed that she was trying to humor me better, but it was a spooky coincidence that Bella had just referred to a memory I had _just_ had. Weird, but definitely a concern to revisit another time, when I didn't have broken bones and a throbbing headache.

I was really beginning to feel the pain now, and I tried to keep my breathing even as I replied, "Not. The. Time. Bella."

Bella's face became much more serious. "You knew what was going to happen."

I internally groaned. I really didn't want to have this conversation in a hospital bed with a broken arm and the potential for vomit to appear at any moment. Why was the universe throwing everything toward me at once?

"Bella…"

"I'm not stupid. You were trying to rush me away from the truck. You were trying to save us."

"Save you, Bella," I whispered, as I purposely looked away from Bella's eyes. I swear that they had some power that compelled you to tell the truth.

She frowned. "No, save _us_."

I shook my head. Ow, that hurt. "I didn't do anything. I don't know anything." Perhaps a straight denial would work better?

"You said that you knew Edward had stopped the van…but you were unconscious when that happened. How did you know?"

_Damn, why did I say anything at the accident? _Once again, my interference had caused a problem that I now had to try to solve.

"Ugh, I don't know, Bella. Maybe I'm psychic, maybe it's a twin thing, maybe I'm a crazy person. Maybe _you're_ a crazy person." My pain was making me irritable. Where the hell was my sexy-vampire doctor?

A door burst open, and another stretcher was wheeled into the room. I already knew who it would be, which idiotic daredevil was tearing around Forks, hitting girls with his van. Tyler Crowley. His head was covered in bandages, which were starting to darken with blood.

"Bella, Jen, I'm so sorry!"

I let Bella respond. "I'm fine, Tyler. You look awful, are you alright?"

The nurses were unwinding his bandages, and the smell of blood was just too much for me in my weakened state. I pulled on Bella's sleeve, trying to get her attention.

"Bella, Bella!"

She took one look at me and grabbed a small dish that was on the ground. Bella shoved it under my face, and I retched into it. It's hard to be classy when you're vomiting, but I tried my best.

When I finished, Bella put the dish aside, and smoothed my hair.

Tyler's mouth was hanging open. "What's wrong with her?"

"They think she has a concussion. Don't worry, you didn't hit her. She hit her head on the ground when we got out of the way."

"I thought I was going to kill you both! I was going too fast, and I hit the ice wrong…" Tyler winced, but continued. "How did you get out of the way so fast? You were there, and I could have sworn I hit Jen, but then you were gone…"

I closed my eyes. Bella would do the right thing, just like she did in the book.

"Umm…Edward pulled us out of the way."

"Who?"

"Edward Cullen – he was standing next to us." Bella's lie was terrible. I knew that, in the future, I would have to take the reins. Bella was just too honest for her own good.

"Cullen? I didn't see him…" Tyler went off on his own little mumbling tangent, which I tuned out.

Through my foggy haze, I had to work out how I would handle the situation. Bella wanted answers, and I knew she wouldn't rest until she had them. Edward and his family would also want answers, and with their super human powers, anything I told Bella now would be within Edward's hearing.

Bella shook me a little. "Jen, tell me quick. How did you know?"

I had to do this before Edward entered. "Get me a pen and paper," I whispered.

Bella rummaged through her backpack, which has miraculously made it's way into the hospital. She pulled out a scrap of paper and a pen, and handed them to me.

I scribbled furiously (thanking God that it was my left arm I'd injured, not my right.)

_Don't react. There's something different about Edward._

Bella's eyes widened, and she nodded at me. I continued writing.

_He wasn't standing next to us._

Bella nodded again, understanding what I meant.

_I remember what happened, but you have to tell Edward that __I don't remember._

Bella's eyes widened. "Why?" she mouthed.

_Later, promise. But tell Edward that I can't remember._

I waited until Bella gave a tiny little nod, before taking the paper and shoving it deep into the waistband of my jeans. Bella's eyes were narrowed, and I knew she would be expecting a decent explanation later. The main thing was that I had spared myself the scrutiny of the Cullens for a bit. As long as Bella said I couldn't remember what had happened, my knowledge of the crash and my words while we were trapped by the van would be able to be explained by my concussion. Hopefully, that would be enough to fix my mistake.

A nurse came in to look after me, finally. What poor service! No tip for her. Rather than examining me, the first thing she did was scold Bella for taking her neck-brace off. Bella, with her over-protective tendencies, wouldn't stand for it.

"Look after my sister! She's been vomiting, for Christ sake!"

I smirked at Bella's cussing, and after that it didn't take long for them to X-Ray my head and arm, and wheel me back into the ward. A radiologist came in to tell me that I had a minor concussion, a dislocated shoulder which may have caused some tendon damage, and a broken wrist. My blossoming volleyball career was in tatters.

While we were waiting for a doctor to examine me, Edward sidled into the room, a smirk adorning his perfect face. Why couldn't there be any humans with decent looks to even come close to Edward or his family? It was slim pickings, and unfortunately for me, I had already given Bella first dibs.

Bella had been hovering around me, trying to make me feel more comfortable, but the second Edward entered the room, her whole demeanor changed. It was as though she was hard-wired to his presence, and it had only been a week. Jeez.

On closer inspection, I realized that she wasn't being disgustingly lovesick – she was glaring at him. Edward was smirking, standing at the end of my bed, while Bella was by my head, giving him a death stare.

Tyler spoke up, and both their heads whipped in his direction. I didn't bother to look – my head hurt too much. "Hey, Edward, I'm really sorry –" he began.

Edward grinned. "No blood, no foul." He sat on the edge of my bed, and I shivered at my close proximity to him. I was only blankets away from a real life vampire.

As It turned out, it wasn't the close proximity that made me shiver, and Bella hastily thrust another dish in front of my face.

When I finally finished making another disgusting mess, no one was smiling any more. Edward's nose was wrinkled, and Tyler was looking away.

"So," Edward began, "What's the verdict?"

Bella stroked my hair back, as I tried to make my body obey me. My stupid concussion was making me vomit, and it was ruining everything.

"There's nothing wrong with me at all, but Jen, here…they say she has a concussion, and some broken bones."

Edward grimaced. Maybe he felt guilty he hadn't gotten me in time as well? It must have been close. Why didn't he save us both at the same time? Somehow, I got the feeling that my life had been an after thought, and that saving Bella had been his number one priority. That hurt a little, but it was my own doing. I couldn't complain, but it still felt horrible.

"I want to go home!" I moaned at Bella. I felt terrible, and I just wanted to get away from all the drama.

"Hang on, Jenny. We're just waiting for a doctor to see you."

Edward smiled again. "Well, this is where I can help. Hold on." He stood up, and left the room. Within minutes, he was back, and followed by a blond, pale, stud muffin of a doctor. Yum, yum.

"Miss Swan, Miss Swan. The Chief's daughters!" Carlisle nodded at us.

"Doctor Cullen." I nodded back. _Crap_. Bella and Edward's faces flashed towards me again, and I tried to hide my faux pax by moaning and looking sick.

Carlisle didn't seem to miss a beat though. "Okay, Jennifer, I'll start with you. How are you feeling?"

"Like poo. Dr. Cullen, can I go home?"

Edward smirked and Bella spoke up. "Dr. Cullen, she's been complaining of nausea, and she's vomited a few times. Her wrist is hurting too, and her shoulder is throbbing." _When did I say that?_

Dr. Cullen nodded. "I see. Jen, I'm just going to feel your head, and I want you to tell me when I find the sore spot."

His fingers felt my head, sending tingles through my scalp. I giggled, "Your fingers are so cold-ow!" wincing when they found the sore spot above my temple.

Dr. Cullen frowned, and with my X-Rays in hand, went to the light box. "Jennifer? Can you see this?"

He put the X-Rays in, and they swam a little bit in front of my eyes. "Yes, I can see them," I lied.

Bella nudged me. "Jen! Tell the truth!" _How the hell was she doing that?_

I sighed. "Tell me, Doctor, what's the damage?"

"It seems you have a concussion, and your other X-Rays indicate a broken wrist. Your shoulder was dislocated, but the EMTs put it back into the socket. I'm going to examine your shoulder for tendon damage." Dr. Cullen gingerly moved my arm around, and I was happy to feel that it wasn't too painful.

"So, my shoulder's okay?

"Yes, it looks like you were lucky there." Dr. Cullen smiled, and my heart fluttered a little bit. I know that Carlisle is always written as a father figure, but DAMN, he's only twenty-three, really! Still young enough for me to lust over.

"Now, I'm going to examine your wrist. Tell me if it hurts too much." His cool fingers were probing my hand, but his face was watching mine for my reaction. His beautiful, smooth, vampire face and his golden eyes…his fragrant smell…who needs pain killers when you can just stare at a vampire?

I shivered. "Your hands feel nice. They're so cool."

Bella snorted, exasperated. I guess she was used to this kind of behavior from me. Carlisle hadn't been with Esme that long, right? Maybe I had a shot?

His fingers found the broken part, and I hit the roof, cussing at him and pulling my hand away. Dr. Cullen didn't look too impressed, and my chances with him were blown. Darn.

"Well, Miss Swan, we are going to have to put your hand in a cast, and you will be out of sports for at least six weeks. Your concussion doesn't look too bad, and I'm actually surprised at the level of nausea you're experiencing. Take it easy, have some Tylenol tonight, and I'll give you a script for something stronger for your wrist."

It was better than I had expected, but still awful. I nodded at Dr. Cullen, feeling subdued.

"Now, Miss Swan." He looked at Bella. "Your X-Rays all look fine. Many _old_ injuries though…"

I laughed, and Bella shook her head. Carlisle continued. 'It looks like you were very lucky."

Bella's lips tightened, and I could feel her annoyance. We both knew that luck was a very small factor in our survival. Unless luck went by the name of 'Edward', and no one had told me.

Bella spoke up. "Lucky that Edward happened to be standing right next to us."

Just like the book, Carlisle looked away. "Oh, well, yes." He swept over to Tyler's bed, and Edward took a step closer to us. This was my Oscar winning moment to play up my memory loss, and I decided to ham it up.

"You were next to us, Edward? Ugh, I don't remember that." I groaned and closed my eyes.

"Well, I was next to you." I opened my eyes and Edward was staring me down with his golden eyes, willing me to challenge him.

"Jen-" Bella started, but I cut her off.

"I don't remember anything after we got out of the truck." I made my voice shake a little, and glanced at Bella, trying to look nervous. There was a tense moment where I wasn't sure I had convinced him.

Edward's voice pierced the silence in the room. "You don't remember the accident? Or…after?" His lips moved slowly, emphasising every syllable.

His eyes were boring into mine, trying to read my mind. I could almost feel his attacks on my brain. I stared right back, though he kept shifting. _Damn concussion._

"No..." I tried to make myself sound a little hysterical, but I don't think it came across. I decided to play super dumb. "…what do you mean by after, anyway? Isn't after here, at the hospital?"

Edward pursed his beautiful lips, annoyed at my lack of cooperation. These vampires were very good at making people ogle them; did they even realize all the sexual signals they sent out all the frigging time? Regardless, I hoped I had done enough to convince him I was clueless. The last thing I needed was a coven of irate vampires 'silencing' me in my sleep tonight.

A nurse bustled into the room, pushing a trolley loaded with scary looking contraptions.

"You?" She pointed at Edward. "Are you injured?"

Edward shook his head. "No, I'm not."

The nurse pointed at the door. "Out." She then turned to Bella. "And you?"

Bella looked at me. "Do you need me to stay?"

I tried to smile reassuringly. "No, Bella. I'll be fine. This is your chance to escape, go."

Bella grinned. "Be nice to the nurse, okay?"

"I will. Go reassure Charlie that we're alive."

"Oh God, Charlie. I completely forgot about him. Okay, I'll see you later, Jen!"

The nurse hustled her out of the room, and proceeded to work on my cast. Another two nurses were working on Tyler, stitching up his head. I hadn't even noticed that Carlisle had left, but I guess my attention had been focused elsewhere.

"Jen, I'm so sorry about the accident." Tyler's worried face was watching me, despite the needles going into his face. Ick.

"Tyler, it's okay. I'm starting to feel better already. I think Bella's worrying made things worse."

"But, it's my fault. I shouldn't have been driving so fast."

"Hey, I'm okay. We're not dead. Stress less."

Tyler continued his stream of apologies, probably encouraged by my period of vomit-free coherence. I tried to tune him out, and think of something else instead. It seemed like I didn't get to relax completely, because my mind was overtaken, for the second time that day, by a vivid memory.

"…_and Jen nearly died! But you saved us. You owe me an explanation." _

_Edward shifted uncomfortably, before looking into Bella's eyes. "I saved your life - I don't owe you anything." His voice was unfriendly and cold._

_Bella recoiled, but continued nevertheless. "You promised."_

"_Bella, you hit your head, you don't know what you're talking about."_

"_Jen's the one with the memory loss, not me." Bella's lie was much more convincing now, probably spurred on by her anger._

"_And you're sure she doesn't remember a thing?" Edward's eyes were boring into Bella's, but she stood her ground._

"_Yes. But I want to know the truth. I want to know why I'm lying for you."_

The vision went in and out of focus, as I had the uncontrollable urge to vomit again. I groped around for a dish, and came up empty. Taking deep breaths to try to quell my nausea, and I tried to return to the vision that was bordering on the edge of my sight.

"_Well, I hope you enjoy disappointment."_

"_Why did you even bother?"_

"_I don't know…"_

_Edwards walked off, and Bella took slow deep breaths, before making her way to the waiting room to find Charlie._

My eyes snapped open, and I jerked away from the nurse working on the cast.

'Well, look what you've done! I'll have to start again," she sighed.

Tyler had still been talking at me, and had noticed my jump. "Jen, are you okay?"

"Yeah…" I wasn't okay at all, but I needed to fake it. "I fell asleep and forgot where I was."

The nurse chuckled at me. "You won't forget tonight, sweetie. They've pumped you up with drugs now, but when they wear off, you'll be pretty sore."

"Ugh. I've had worse." I'd been in enough bitch fights at school, and had enough drunken episodes to know how I'd feel the next day.

I was more worried about my 'memory', that wasn't a memory at all. There was no _way_ that that conversation was in the past. No way in hell. That conversation had happened NOW, and I had been able to see it.

It was a direct _Twilight_ conversation, just as Stephenie Meyer had written it, but with obvious mistakes. The most notable ones were the parts that included me. My name should not have been in there at all!

It was also a scene that had existed in the present, not the past. Every memory up until now could be set at some point in time before I was transported into the _Twilight_ world. I had always assumed that the memories were a convenient quirk of being in the AU, which had so far worked to my advantage. This conversation was completely different to the 'Doctor Swan' memory that had played out earlier, it had more clarity, and the images were sharper. But I couldn't feel the nuances behind the memory. When I was seeing Bella in the hospital, I could feel her annoyance at being incapacitated yet again, and her amusement at my jokes. I could only feel the more obvious feeling this time – Bella's anger at Edward's hostility was pretty much it.

The nurse was starting to pack up the trolley. "All finished now. Chief Swan will be in soon to collect you. He's pretty frantic out there, but we have a strict no visitor rule."

"What about Edward? You let him in." I tried to shift my left arm, and it felt heavy, encased in a stiff cast. That was hot pink. God, I hated the AU sometimes.

The nurse giggled. "Well, he _is_ Dr. Cullen's son. Who wouldn't let him in the wards?"

True that. Who wouldn't want a babe vampire wandering the halls of a _hospital_? This world was messed up.

It wasn't long before Charlie and Bella were in the ward, helping me get up and standing. The first time I tried I was overcome by dizziness and had to sit back down on the bed. According to the nurse, the painkillers I was on had that kind of effect, but that didn't exactly make me feel better. Bella's laughter at my Barbie colored cast didn't improve my mood either, and I suspected that she had somehow arranged the monstrosity.

It was all too much - the pain, the nausea, the shock of being in a car accident. Then there were the crazy supernatural things, like Edward saving us, and trying to convince him that I didn't remember the accident so that he didn't hunt me down to protect his family, and my crazy Phoenix memories, not to mention my new live action memories, and even the mysterious November life changing event. As well as the fact that I was actually an Australian girl who had been slaughtered in a train accident then magically transported to a fictional world.

And for what? To make sure Bella and Edward got together? So far, almost nothing had changed. Edward still refused to tell Bella anything, and I could tell that he would continue to push her away for the next few months. All my scheming, planning, and attempts at making the plot run smoother had only resulted in me getting injured.

As Charlie and Bella helped me to the car, I made an important decision. I was going to stop trying to change things.

Who was I kidding? Bella and Edward didn't need my help, they were following the plot just fine - if Bella wants to play baseball and get attacked by James? So be it. Stephenie Meyer had already given them a happy ending, and my attempts to make it a 'better' happy ending hadn't had any effect on Bella and Edward's relationship. It was cruising along at the same pace as the book.

I was going to be selfish, and focus on me. I had a broken wrist and a concussion. That was more than enough physical pain for the moment. If interfering meant adding more, then I was out.

Bella and Edward were on their own. I was going to ignore the vampires (even Rosalie) and act as if they didn't exist. I was going to make better friends with Lauren and Angela and even Jessica. Even though the guys weren't as hot as the Cullens, I was going to stop drooling over them, and start taking advantage of all the boys who weren't attached.

I was going to focus on my relationship with Charlie and Bella, because they were my family, but when it came to the supernatural stuff, I was out. I was even going to try to ignore the memories. They weren't real, and they were all in my imagination, that's what they had to be. If I ignored them, they would go away. No more supernatural.

It was a tough call, but I had to go with it. Pain makes you change your mind about things.

I spent the rest of the day at home, sleeping in bed. Bella helped me get into my pajamas, but she wasn't anywhere near as attentive as she was in the hospital during the day. I think she was distracted, or maybe in shock. Car crashes were scary, and it was still hard to believe that we had both survived. Though if I was honest, I should have done more to prevent it. '_Your fault!' _My head kept screaming.

I probably slept for about eight hours, waking up some time after dark. Bella was asleep next to me in the bed, mumbling away in her sleep. I hadn't really noticed her talking too much, as I was such a heavy sleeper myself, but she seemed to be reciting essays or something tonight; she just didn't stop mumbling, and it was really annoying.

My arm was really starting to give me trouble. The pain injections must have worn off, and that was the reason I had woken up. I groaned, swung my legs out of the bed, and stumbling, I felt my way out of the dark room and down the stairs.

Charlie was still up, watching sports in the living room. I got a glass of water from the kitchen, and took a couple of the pills Carlisle had given me. I then staggered into the living room, and plopped on the couch next to Charlie.

"Hey, kiddo. Feeling better?" Charlie's eyes were anxiously watching me, reflecting the light off the television.

"No, not really. My arm woke me up, and Bella won't quit talking." I couldn't help but feel annoyed at her intrusion into my sleep. Sure, it was the pain that had broken my sleep, but Bella's talking had made it unbearable.

Charlie chuckled. "Yeah, that sounds like Bella." He paused, and looked back at the television, tyring to act casual. "You, er, gave us a bit of a scare there, Jen."

I shrugged, trying to downplay the crash. "It was nothing. I'm just lucky."

Charlie shook his head. "No, Jen. I mean with everything… when they rang me at work, it was just like last year all over again…just… please don't scare us like that again, Jenny. I know today wasn't your fault, but please. Just try to be safe from now on, okay?"

"Ok."

We sat in silence for a little while, watching the television. It was football, the American football, and I didn't understand the rules. It was a bit boring, but I didn't want to break the silence first. The mystery of "what happened in November" was eating at me, and had somehow worked it's way back onto my 'to do' list.

Finally, knowing that I couldn't sleep properly until Bella stopped talking and the painkillers kicked in, I decided to speak.

"Hey, Dad. I don't really get the rules. What does it mean when they stop the play?"

Charlie looked at me sharply. "You don't know what that means?"

"Nope." I snuggled into the couch closer, hugging a pillow to my chest, and curling into Charlie a little. It was nice to be so close to my Dad. "Can you teach me?"

"Sure. You're lucky I already listened to this game on the radio, though. I don't like my sport to be disturbed."

Charlie spent the next forty-five minutes explaining the rules of American Football to me. It was quite cosy, Charlie pointing at the screen and explaining which players were the most important.

He wasn't impressed when I pointed out how much of a wuss the players were.

"But, Dad, look at all the padding they wear? What pansies!"

I resolved to find an Australian network on our cable, and show Charlie some real football. I missed watching my beloved Magpies play, and as a sport connoisseur, I knew that Charlie would immediately take to AFL.

I must have fallen asleep at some point, as I woke up the next morning on the couch, with a blanket draped over me.

Last night had been a great bonding moment for Charlie and I, and that was what I was going to focus on, building relationships and making the AU a nice place to live, sans injuries and supernatural beings.

Of course, I still needed to discover what happened in November, and the reason for my memories, and what the new ones meant…and as I would find out very soon, no matter how much I tried to stay away from the supernatural, it still seemed to find me.

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First time in a while it hasn't been a cliffhanger - did you enjoy it? Questions? Comments? You know what to do! (Review lol)


	9. Chapter 9

Hello everyone! I'm so sorry it took so long to update! I will talk more at the end of the chapter!

Thanks to Lharkcom and siobhan'x from PTB for beta'ing this chapter so quickly. It took both of them less than six hours! How amazing is that?

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Chapter 9 - Nice

I decided to spend the next day at home watching TV and trying to get used to my broken wrist. My head had cleared up a lot, and I wasn't feeling as groggy or nauseous, but I was going to take advantage of the accident while I could. Who wouldn't want a day off school?

I banged around the kitchen, trying to fix myself breakfast. What I wouldn't do for a jar of Vegemite! I sorely missed my yeasty spread on toast, and it was a shame Americans just didn't get how delicious it was.

As I tried to open the lid of a jug of milk, Bella wandered into the kitchen. She looked terrible, like she hadn't slept.

"You're looking cheery, Jen."

I shrugged. "My head is feeling better and I'm starving."

I had the bottle wedged under my bad arm, trying to brace it, while my good hand desperately tried to loosen the lid.

"Bella? Can I get a hand?"

"Sure." She opened the bottle easily and I grumbled to myself. It wasn't fair that I was the one with a broken arm, when _she _was the one looking for excuses to get out of sports.

Bella poured cereal into two bowls, then milk for both of us.

"Thanks, Bella."

"No problem." She started eating. "So, day off school, huh?"

"Ha! Yes. Don't enjoy it too much though, I'll be back tomorrow."

"Yeah…" Bella trailed off, thinking. "You never did tell me how you knew about the crash."

"I wasn't exactly in great shape yesterday, you know," I pointed out.

"Well, are you going to tell me?"

I shrugged. "Would you believe me?"

Bella smirked. "We were saved from a horrible death yesterday by some sort of superhero. Anything you say couldn't be crazier.

I shook my head in disbelief. "You think he's a superhero?"

"Well, he's _something_. Which reminds me, Jen, why did I have to lie about you remembering the crash?"

I sighed. "So I didn't have to explain to them about how I knew as well."

Bella raised an eyebrow. "Why wouldn't you?"

"Bella, there are some things you don't shout about. This is one of them." I swirled my cereal around with my spoon, trying to make the milk soak into it. I missed Weet-bix too, the way it just absorbed the milk in your bowl until it was a mushy lump of goodness.

"Jenny, stop stalling, and stop making a mess of your food."

"Bella," I started, "There are things out there that are difficult to explain. I'm sure Edward couldn't explain how he saved us yesterday."

"You mean he _wouldn't _explain how he saved us yesterday."

"Yes." I ate a mouthful of cereal, chewing it slowly. Swallowing, I continued, "Exactly, because it would be hard to explain. He would be worried you would judge him, and then run off telling people."

"But I-"

I held up one finger, "I know you wouldn't have, Bella, but how does he know that? If he's a," I giggled over the next bit, "super hero, secrecy would be the biggest thing. He can't tell anyone anything."

"His family knows. It was pretty obvious Dr. Cullen was in on it."

"Maybe they're superheroes too?" I was dancing a fine line here. I was happy to keep Bella's attention from my behavior yesterday, but I was leading Bella down the right train of thought in regards to the Cullens. Despite my promise to stay out of the supernatural crap, less than twelve hours later I was meddling again. There was something wrong with me; I clearly had a death wish.

"But they're not related. Stop trying to take the attention away from you, missy. Why can't they know? Why won't you tell me?"

"They can't know because they're superheroes, and I'm the villain! If I tell them, my dastardly plans will be thwarted!" I cackled like a maniac, and waved my hands around. "This stupid pink cast ruins my look, Bella. Pink is not the color of an evil genius."

Bella laughed. "I thought it would cheer you up – you've always loved pink so much."

_I was pulling Bella's hair. "Give me the pink lollipop!"_

I sighed. Another memory. I wished they would go away, I just wanted to be normal.

"Bella, I was six. Every six-year-old loves pink. I'm seventeen, and now I'm going to look like an idiot at school. I won't be able to wear brown for weeks!" I looked at the clock. "Speaking of school, you better get a move on. My Government and Spanish notes won't take themselves."

Bella jumped up. "Crap. I better go."

For the next ten minutes, Bella tore around the house, grabbing things to go in her school bag. Occasionally, she would bump into something and I would hear a thud, then an 'ouch'. It wasn't fair that Bella could be so mobile, when I still felt sick standing up too quickly.

As Bella was about to run out the door, I stopped her.

"Hey, Bella. Don't expect to get answers out of Edward anytime soon."

She frowned. "Why not?"

"Because, us super heroes have to keep _some_ mystery about us." I winked at her, and shoved her out the door. "See you tonight!"

I spent the rest of the day watching daytime television. After about three hours, I decided that I would rather be at school. Ellen DeGeneres was just so darn annoying, and I hated Oprah. I actually resorted to doing some of my homework, and that definitely ruined my day-off.

Around lunchtime, the phone rang. Curious as to who would be calling me, I took my time getting to the phone. Why, oh, why don't they have cordless?

"Hello?"

"Jenny? Is that you?" It was an older, female voice, one that I remembered from my first magical-memory in the AU.

"Mom?" I choked up a little. This was my _mom_. Well, Bella's mom anyway. I guess Renee was Jennifer Swan's mom too. I had little experience with moms that acted like moms and while I knew Renee could never replace Mum, it felt wonderful to hear Renee's voice. I hadn't spoken to her yet in the AU, and I was kicking myself for not doing so before.

"Oh, baby. How are you? I was so worried when Charlie called me yesterday, and I tried calling back late last night, but he said you were really out of it and I didn't want to disturb you. How are you feeling now?" This all came out in a rush, and I tried to find a point to jump in.

"Mom, I'm fine. I was pretty yuck yesterday. I had a concussion, and a dislocated shoulder, but they're both okay now. I do have a broken arm, and it's so annoying, I won't get to play sports for ages. The cast is _pink_, Mom. Bella made them give me a pink cast! And…"

Renee stopped me, "Woah, Jen, slow down. You're just as bad as me with your rambling."

We both had a laugh over that. It seemed like we were the talkers of the family, while Bella and Charlie were more reserved. It was nice to have something in common with Renee; it tied me more securely to this world. It just sucked knowing that I was stuck in Forks, unable to meet Renee until later in the plot. _Plot? _I guess I was still thinking in terms of _Twilight_. If I wanted to avoid the supernatural, I had to start thinking of this as my _life_.

Renee and I chatted like old buddies for an hour, and I gave her the run down of what was happening in Forks. I had always felt like Bella had neglected her mom in _Twilight_. How can you claim that your Mom is your best friend if you forget to email her and barely call her? Poor effort, I thought.

"Are there any boys, Jen? Come on, I'm sure you have already picked out your favorites."

I snorted. "Mom, they all like Bella. I'm too rude for them."

"Don't say that, honey. You're just brutally honest, and that's not for everyone."

"Mom, the boys still prefer Bella. She has them hanging off her." Bella was going to kill me for this. "She doesn't encourage them, though. I think they like how quiet she is, how nice, and polite."

"And you're the complete opposite."

"Yeah."

Renee sighed. "Well, Jenny, I thought you weren't worrying about boys for the moment."

_Here we go_. "Mom, was I really that bad back in Phoenix? I mean…I didn't really notice… but Bella said I was really distant. I don't get it."

There was an indistinct noise on the other end of the line. "Sorry about that. Look, Jen, I have to go. I will talk to you soon, and to answer your question, yes. You were really out of it. You're a million times better now though, if that helps. Almost back to the little girl you were before." Renee sounded wistful.

"Ok, I'll let you go, Mom. Say hi to Phil."

"Will do. Take care of Bella, will you? She has no idea with boys, and I'm worried that she will get into trouble without me there."

I laughed. "Don't worry, Mom, I've got it under control. Wear a condom, and no means no, right?"

Renee giggled. "That's my girl. We'll speak soon. Love you, baby girl."

"Love you too, Mom. Bye!"

I hung up the phone, and felt a tiny bit annoyed. Once again, I hadn't gotten any new information about my incident in November. How was I supposed to reassure everyone that I was completely better, if I had no idea about what had happened? It was beyond frustrating.

The only tiny bit of information I had learned was when Renee had said I was, "Almost back to the little girl I was before." Had I suddenly grown up too quickly? Or had I become too adult?

Back in the OU, I don't think I had ever qualified as a 'child'. When you have an alcoholic mother, doing little kid things like riding bikes and playing Barbies became pretty low on your priorities. There were so many bad influences too; had my mother been normal, I wouldn't have had my first alcoholic drink at fourteen. The reason was, "to celebrate my return to her." Yeah, my mother gave me alcohol to celebrate the authorities giving me back to her. At fourteen, you have no idea about right and wrong, not really. Watching Mum drink made it okay for me to drink. At the age of fourteen, I was well and truly an 'adult'.

But here in the AU, it was different, of course. It had to be different. Renee was a better parent, and I had Bella to look after me, as well. There was no reason for me to start drinking at fourteen; I clearly had a much happier home.

I was still stumped, so I went back to doing my homework. Thankfully, it was math, something I didn't have any trouble with, because I was weeks ahead. That was one thing I didn't have to worry about in the AU; school-work was generally a breeze.

As the afternoon wore on, I had the eerie feeling I was being watched. I was expecting Bella home any minute, so I was already on edge waiting for her. I was bored out of my brain, and I was looking forward to hanging out with Bella, but something was watching me, and it was creeping me out. It was as though I could see someone moving out of the corner of my eye.

It had to be the Cullens. Who else would even come near our house? I

strode over to the window, and peered out from behind the curtain. Our kitchen window faced out into the back garden, and beyond that into the forest, so there could be a vampire concealed in any of those huge trees.

I couldn't really see anything out of the ordinary, but I kept searching, hoping to catch a glimpse of my stalker. _My stalker?_ I was surprised by my own thoughts. Who would stalk me? It was Bella everyone wanted; she was the interesting one, not me.

I was beginning to get frustrated. Was I going crazy? I decided to give up, and in my annoyance, stuck my middle finger up at the window. If there were any vampires out there, they would have seen it, and they could suck it. I was not in the best mood.

"What are you doing, Jen?"

I spun around. "Oh, hey, Bella. Uh, I was, uh, admiring the scenery. It's beautiful here."

Bella scoffed and dumped her bag on the table. "It's too green. I miss the desert."

I ignored her mopey ass comment. "How was school?"

She shrugged. "Eh. You were right. Edward ignored me."

_Bella sat down at their desk, smiling at Edward. "Hello."_

_Edward nodded at Bella, and then looked away. Bella was irritated._

The memory was less visual than some of the others, and it had a haze around the edges. The most important elements were Bella's feelings, which distorted the way I could see them. What the hell?

I raised my eyebrows. "Do you want me to kick his ass?" My stupid American accent said 'ass' all wrong. All these little things were starting to get to me.

Bella shook her head. "Nah, like you could beat up a superhero. You'd die."

I looked nervously out the window. Were the vampires still there?

I glanced back at Bella, who was rooting through the fridge. "Sorry, Bella, I ate the last apple."

"What? How did you know that was what I wanted?"

"Errr..." Another psychic fail. How did I know that she wanted an apple? "It's a twin thing."

"Right." Bella grabbed an orange instead, and began slicing it up. "Do you want some?"

"No, thanks." I sighed and left the room, keeping an eye on the window. The trees were swaying in the wind but I swear, as I left I saw a flash of grey in the distance.

The first day back at school was hell. Everyone kept coming up to me, asking how I felt, whether I needed a hand, and generally being nuisances. A few people wanted to know if I was going to sue Tyler, which surprised me. I didn't think I was thought of so harshly – as if I'd sue him for an accident? I had a sneaking suspicion that someone close to me had started the rumor, and I had a feeling it was Lauren, judging by her avoidance of eye contact. Bella was probably right about her; Lauren was only nice to me because she didn't want me to kick her ass, and she had no problems with doing some backstabbing as long as I didn't know it was her.

Tyler ambushed me the minute I got to school. Bella had warned me that he had spent the day before following her around, trying to make amends, and I was prepared for it.

"Jen, I'm so sorry, how are you feeling? Do you need help with your books? Do you-"

I silently pointed at the cream book bag slung around my body. Bella had painstakingly packed it for me, to make it as easy as possible for me to get my things in and out. _Be nice_, _be nice._

"Uh, you don't need help with your books. What class do you have now? I'll walk with you. You must've had a rough day…"

Tyler went on and on, babbling away, while I tried to tune him out. He followed me to my Calculus class, and I stopped at the door and turned to him.

"Thanks for walking with me, Tyler. It was really nice of you. I'm sure you do this for all the girls." I tried to keep the sarcasm out of my voice. _Be nice, Jen, don't be nasty_.

Tyler looked uncomfortable. "Uh, sure, no problem, Jen."

I smiled at him. "I'll see you at lunch."

I was trying to remind Tyler that there were other girls in the school, but I had the feeling that I had just encouraged him, rather than driven him away. It was hard to push people away when you couldn't just be a bitch, but I had promised Bella I would be nice, so it was time to learn to treat people differently.

I had completely forgotten about Rosalie, so when I stepped inside Calculus the sight of her sent me into a panic. What if she was angry about the van incident? What if she wanted to _kill_ me? I'd read _Midnight Sun_, I knew that Rosalie had been all for killing Bella. I had been annoying, and now I knew too much about them. I wouldn't even have Edward sticking up for me if Rosalie decided to silence me for good. I don't know how Bella could sit next to Edward after the crash and not imagine for a second that he could kill her. She was a braver girl than me, granted she didn't know that Edward was a vampire.

My forehead broke into a sweat, and I shakily sat down in my seat, edging it as far away from Rosalie as possible. She hadn't even acknowledged me and she continued staring out the window. I was internally cringing, ready to be murdered at any second.

After a second of tense silence, I relaxed. I wasn't going to die today. I pulled out my homework, ready to hand it in.

Mr Varner cleared his throat. "Like I mentioned yesterday, today is a national mathematics assessment day, which means that we won't be doing regular work. I have papers for you to fill out. Please use #2 pencils, as this will be marked by a machine, and follow all instructions on the front page. Your marks will reflect on the teaching at this school, and while I won't know what exact marks you get, you can be sure I won't be happy if this class is below the state average."

A murmur rose up around the classroom, and I wildly threw my hand up in the air. "Excuse me, Mr Varner. I didn't know we were having a test today, because I was away. Can I do the test tomorrow?"

Mr Varner shook his head. 'Sorry, Jennifer, it's a _national_ assessment. It has to be done today. It's not based on any class work; it's more of a general maths quiz. You will be fine."

He proceeded to pass out papers, and everyone scrambled to get their pencils and erasers ready. Rummaging through my bag, I found the small pencil case Bella had packed for me. Blue pen, black pen, red pen. No pencils, no erasers. I could distinctly remember Bella telling me, "I didn't worry about pencils, because they would do be too hard to use with your arm." _Well I needed pencils now, Bella!_

I looked around the room at my class mates, who were beginning work on their papers. They were all haughty seniors, who so far hadn't bothered to say a word to me. The idea of asking for a pencil in the middle of a test from someone I'd never spoken to was terrifying.

I looked at Rosalie, who was completing her paper at a speed that was probably twice as fast as any human. When you really stopped and watched the Cullens, they didn't blend in as well as they thought they did. It wouldn't be difficult for someone observant to figure out that something was off.

I took a deep breath and went for it. "Excuse me, Rosalie? Do you have a pencil I could borrow? I left mine at home today."

Rosalie stopped, and looked at me with her piercing stare. It was as though she was searching me for something, and couldn't find it. After a moment, she broke away, and pulled out a perfectly sharpened pencil, pushing it across the desk.

"Thank you."

The next half an hour was blissfully silent. I worked on my paper, finding it ridiculously easy, and I knew that I would be well above the state average.

The only problem was that with my broken am, the paper kept slipping away. No matter how much I tried to pin the paper down with the hideous cast, it kept sliding away as I moved my pencil across the page.

On one occasion, it slipped so quickly that my pencil lead broke on the table. I held back a sob of frustration; why was I being punished like this? I just wanted to finish my paper!

I sat there looking at the ruined pencil, afraid to ask Rosalie for another one, when a movement in my peripheral vision startled me. I looked at Rosalie, but she was staring out the window again. The only difference was that there was now a sharpener on the table, deliberately placed on my side of the desk.

Grateful, I quickly tried to make the pencil useable, but once again, my broken arm hindered me. I couldn't get the sharpener to stay still while I rotated the pencil, and it spun around, ruining the pencil further.

Rosalie sighed. This incensed me, and I angrily whispered, "I'm sorry that I'm annoying you so much!" Gritting my teeth, I continued my futile attempts, feeling embarrassed that my frustration was so obvious to everyone.

Rosalie leaned over, and plucked the pencil and sharpener out of my hands. Before I knew it, my pencil was perfectly sharpened, and she placed them back on the desk, on my side.

"Thanks."

Rosalie didn't say anything, and I went back to my paper. After all the crap I had given her last week, I had never expected her to do something so _helpful_. It was a change from the bitchy Rosalie I had built up in my head.

Not long after I had completed my paper, Mr Varner called time. The rest of the class groaned, stretching their arms, and complaining about how awful it was, and how they couldn't finish the whole thing.

Sitting and waiting for the paper to be collected, Rosalie surprised me yet again. She turned to me, flipping her hair over her shoulder. "So, how did you survive the van accident?"

I could tell that she was trying to be flippant and casual, but there was a deeper meaning to her words. She was trying to find out how much I knew.

"I-I can't remember. I hit my head, and I don't remember anything after the crash."

Rosalie raised her eyebrows. "Edward saved you."

"I know. That's what people keep telling me. It makes sense, because he was standing right next to us." I emphasised the last part.

"Sorry?"

"Well, that's what Bella told me anyway. I don't remember myself."

"I see."

I gathered my things, but before I could turn back to thank Rosalie, she was gone. So much for trying to be nice, what was the point of me trying to be nice, if I couldn't show it?

I quietly said to myself, "Thanks," and could only hope that Rosalie was still near enough to hear me.

Aside from that, the day was uneventful. Edward ignored me, and I really didn't care. It was all part of the 'avoid and conquer' strategy I was going for. I sat with Bella, Mike and co. at lunch, struggled through Chem, and watched from the sidelines during Gym.

Unusually, I could feel Bella's annoyance. Since the accident, our 'twin' connection had intensified. I had always joked that I had some sort of connection, but the flashes of irritation I felt as Bella missed the ball did not belong to me.

_I can't believe I missed the ball again. I wish Jen was playing instead of me._

There was another thought from Bella. I couldn't tell if it was actually Bella's thought, or just my imagination, but it felt real enough to me. This twin thing wasn't easy to define; it felt like a radio that was being tuned and occasionally, when the dial would pass a station, you could hear what was being broadcast before moving back onto static. I wasn't sure if having Bella's moods on a radio signal was something I wanted. It certainly didn't happen in _Twilight_.

Coach Clapp blew his whistle to end the class, and Bella made her way over to me.

I grimaced up at her. "Bad class?"

She rolled her eyes. "Tell me about it. I kept getting really frustrated, and missing the ball. You hate sitting up here, don't you?"

I shrugged, not wanting to care too much. "I guess. Let's go home."

The next few months were utterly average, and that was purely because I was stuck in the Twilight timeline. There was a reason Stephenie Meyer skirted around the two months after the van incident; nothing happened.

The day after the math test, I entered the classroom to find three perfectly sharpened pencils lining the top of my desk. Rosalie was, once again, staring out the window, but there was nobody else who would have done such a thing. My jaw dropped, and I stuttered out a pathetic 'thank you,' which went unacknowledged.

After that day, Rosalie and I had some sort of truce going. We didn't talk to each other, but somehow when my pencil broke, or I needed an eraser, my problem was magically solved. I kept my mouth shut, and it seemed like Rosalie was trying to be nicer too. I had to admit, it was much more comfortable working next to someone when you weren't provoking their deadly vampire instincts.

Edward steadfastly ignored both Bella and me, which meant that I couldn't do anything to push Bella and Edward together. My supernatural avoidance tactic worked well with this, and though it was difficult, I tried to stop staring at Edward every chance I got. Instead of chanting 'not mine, not mine,' over and over in my head, I chanted, 'douche-bag, douche-bag.' It helped me remember that I was a human, and I should stick to being friends with humans and avoid the vampires. My broken arm was proof that trying to help Bella just got me hurt, and I had the feeling I was out of second chances. I used up my last life back in Australia.

Five weeks after the van incident, my grotesque pink cast was removed. My left arm was thin, weak, and paler, if that was even possible in this climate. I began back at Gym within a week of that, and things were beginning to look up.

Bella, on the other hand, was miserable. Jess and Lauren weren't the friends I would have picked for her, but they seemed to like hanging around me, especially now that my feral mouth had been put away. Angela sat with us too, but Bella wasn't really great at conversation.

She was pining. We hadn't discussed the van incident any more, and Bella didn't seem to be interested in quizzing me like she had been before, either. Renee called, worried about Bella's emails, and I promised to cheer Bella up. But really, no matter how many tantalizng hints I dropped in front of her, or places I dragged her to, or conversations I tried to start, Bella seemed intent on being mopey and pathetic. She needed answers from Edward before she could move on with anything; how did anyone stand to be around the girl?

I didn't know how to help. Bella was moping, and I could only think of one thing that was guaranteed to help, and that was following the _Twilight_ timeline. When Mike finally manned up and asked Bella to the ball, then I would know it was time for action. I didn't want to interfere with the way Mike asked at all, because Edward _had_ to overhear and feel jealous. If Mike did it over the phone, Edward would continue to ignore Bella, and I would really have to interfere to fix things. I was scared that I would mess it up, and I couldn't remember the exact date that Mike approached Bella, so I just had to wait and let it happen naturally.

I was afraid of interfering at all, really, because of Alice. Avoiding Edward and Rosalie was pretty easy, because they wanted to stay as far away as possible. But Alice, no, she watched me every lunch, her eyes boring holes into the back of my head. I didn't notice until Jessica pointed it out.

"Hey, Jen. Why does Alice Cullen stare at you all the time? Were you a bitch to her or something?"

I whipped my head around to check, and sure enough, Alice was giving me a death stare. After that, I started noticing Alice around my classes, casually leaning against a wall, or lingering at the can machine, or doing something equally unusual for a vampire. Alice was keeping an eye on me, and I could only assume it was because she knew I was up to something that wasn't quite right. I had forgotten about her visions, and it was quite likely that she had 'seen' my original plans to help Bella and Edward.

My plans had changed, and I wasn't going to interfere any more, but maybe Alice's visions weren't convinced. Either way, I felt like I was being watched all the time.

Bella and I began to grow apart a little. The combination of Bella's poor mood, coupled with the apprehension she had about the van incident, meant that we didn't talk as often. We did more work in our classes than we had to begin with, and Bella didn't always sit next to me at lunch.

This distance nearly cost me dearly. On March second, I was surprised when Jessica met me at my locker before Calculus.

"Hey, Jess. What's up?"

Jess looked away. "Uh, did Bella tell you that I called her last night?"

I shook my head. "No, she didn't. Why?"

"Well, it's just…I asked if she was going to ask Mike to the spring dance, and well, she said that I should ask, but I talked to Mike and he needs time to think…I think he wants to go with Bella."

I inhaled sharply. That was my cue to take action. Operation 'Help Bella Get Happy' was about to be set in motion. I patted Jess on the shoulder, reassured her that everything would work out, and set out for Calculus, plans whirring away in my head.

* * *

What did you think? I wasn't sure about this chapter, so I really want some constructive criticism. :)

My updates will get a little less frequent for the next month or so, because I am in the final weeks of my uni degree, and I've been working 6 days a week at a TV station, and it's my birthday next week, so please don't get too annoyed if my posting gets a little unusual! I am trying my best!

Thank you all for reading! xo


	10. Chapter 10

Hello readers! Sorry about the massive delays on this one... I have my last uni class on Friday EVER, so things are a little crazy. But my chapter is here, nevertheless!

Thanks to Lharkcom and siobhan'x for being awesome betas! On with the show!

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Chapter 10 - Glaring

"Yoo hoo! Bella! Wake up!"

I waved my hand around in Bella's face, trying to get her attention. We were in Government, and Bella was ignoring me.

I couldn't believe that Bella had decided not to tell me that Jessica had called last night. I mean, we had been kind of going our separate ways, but Jess was a mutual friend. Didn't Bella think I would be interested in who Jess asked to the prom? I had been counting on Bella confiding in me which would give me a little more time to think about how to handle things..

Bella's moping had become ridiculous. I didn't think I could handle another one-sided conversation or a silent car ride home. I knew that Forks wasn't _Excitement Central_, but I was trying my best to make the most of it. Back home in Australia, in the OU, my life had sucked hard. Here, in Forks, at least I had Charlie and Renee, even if she was in Phoenix. I also had some friends though I wasn't sure if they were completely true, and I had Bella.

Unfortunately, Bella just couldn't see how lucky we were. She had been too sheltered and had no idea of the suffering of other people out there. There were starving kids in Africa, for crying out loud, and Bella was moping because she disliked rain and a boy she liked was ignoring her. Big deal.

Bella stared directly at the board, tuning me out. It was beyond annoying. Why would she ignore me?

"Bella, why didn't you tell me? I could have helped! Jess seems really bummed out."

Bella glanced at me, and whispered angrily, "I didn't want you to go ask Mike to the prom before Jess could."

My jaw dropped. "Me? Ask Mike to the prom? No way! I've been good the last few weeks."

Bella shrugged. "You still don't like Jess. It would be very 'Jen' of you to go and ask Mike just to annoy her."

It was true. It did sound like something I would do. Not these days though. I had been trying so hard to be nice that I think it had taken a toll on my friendships. I wasn't the funny twin anymore, and even Lauren had gravitated away from me in order to make herself 'queen bee'. Old Jen would have definitely asked Mike, just to show the girls who was 'top bitch'.

I shook my head. "Still, Bella, Jess thinks that the reason Mike has hesitated is you. She thinks that you're going to ask him, not me."

"Should I approach him first, just to make sure he knows I'm not interested?" Bella's question stunned me. _No, no, no_ my mind screamed. It had to be in front of Edward!

"Maybe just wait until biology, and see if he asks you first? If you approach him, it'll send out the wrong signals."

Bella nodded and looked away, but I wasn't done with her yet.

"Why are you angry with me?"

Her answer was short. "I'm not."

I sighed. "Bella, we don't talk like we used to. You don't joke or laugh or do anything with me. Tell me what's up."

Usually, I could 'feel' what Bella was feeling, but I had no idea what she was thinking now. It was like she was blocking me out on purpose, guarding her thoughts.

"I'm… just, I don't know, Jenny, I'm just sick of Forks. I'm sick of the rain, I'm sick of school, I'm sick of the people here, and some of them are so _rude_, and I'm sick of being stuck here because of you."

I blinked. "Bella, you know that we had to move here anyway because of Renee and Phil moving around. It would have happened regardless of last November."

"You don't know that."

I smirked. "Actually, I do." When Bella looked puzzled, I tapped my temple. "I'm psychic."

Bella gritted her teeth. "And, you never told me how you knew about the van. You promised you would tell."

"You stopped asking. I figured you didn't care." At that point the teacher came over, and we found ourselves with extra homework for our conversation. Great.

When the bell rang, Bella shot out of the room, and I could have sworn she was almost vampire-like, if she hadn't caught her hip on the edge of the table on her way out.

I quickly packed up my books, and went to the door. I wasn't sure if I was going to find Bella to continue our argument, or give up and go to my next class. I decided to skip English, and to go get her out of trig. This conversation was too important to leave until after she spoke to Jess. We had to talk now.

That's when I noticed the vampire waiting for me by the door. She was smaller than me, with cropped dark hair, and golden eyes. Golden eyes that were staring me down with an intensity that was scary. Alice.

I had realized that Alice had been tailing me a lot the past few weeks, but she had never been so openly bold about it. It was annoying that she had chosen now to do it, when I was so desperate to find Bella.

"Hi, I'm Alice." Her chirpy voice invaded my distraction, and I looked at her. Alice was smiling, with perfect white teeth that were both beautiful and frightening. I knew what those teeth could do.

I shook my head. "I'm Jen. Excuse me, I've got to go."

I tried to step around her, but Alice blocked me. "We haven't had a chance to talk yet. You're new, right?"

Her words infuriated me. Or course she knew who I was! She had been stalking me for the last month!

I gritted my teeth. "Yes, I'm new. I have English with your brother. I should probably go to class. Bye."

I turned on my heel and left. I no longer had time to catch Bella before class, and I wasn't going to be rushing in there to drag her out. Alice had prevented me from continuing my argument with Bella; I had the sneaking suspicion that Alice's aim _was_ to prevent me going after Bella. The thought gave me a cold chill; maybe Alice had prevented me from screwing everything up. For all I knew, the reason Alice was watching me was to make sure I didn't stuff up Bella and Edward's romance. God knows I had been doing a hack job of it myself, and I could probably do with a psychic vampire predicting the outcomes of my actions. Still, I worried about my secrets. Had Alice seen me arrive? Did she see me in Australia? I didn't understand.

I got to English, apologized to the teacher, and slammed my books on the desk. Edward looked at me, raised an eyebrow, then turned away. I was used to this sort of reaction from Edward, and this was probably the closest to a conversation we had had since my stint in the hospital, and that wasn't exactly civil.

That tiny movement incensed me even more. Edward had probably heard the conversation between Alice and I through Alice's thoughts. I thanked my lucky stars that my mind was quiet. Edward was probably already suspicious of me without hearing my thoughts.

Mr Mason walked around the room, passing out sheets. "Pop quiz!" he announced gleefully. I swear that man took pleasure out of his student's pain.

I groaned and put my head in my hands. I hadn't studied English at all, and _Macbeth_ was the one text I hadn't studied before in either Australia or Phoenix. I had started reading the play, but was only up to the third act. I was screwed.

After thirty minutes of silence, I was finished. The rest of the class was still working away, but I had gotten halfway through and found I couldn't answer any more questions. I didn't know who killed Macbeth in the end, and what happened to Lady Macbeth, which made it hard to answer any questions about the ending. I threw my pencil down and sighed, glaring at the empty page.

I had the feeling someone was watching me, and-surprise, surprise-Edward was glaring at me. When I say glaring, I meant burning holes in my face with his golden eyes. Medusa had nothing on him.

I couldn't take it. I was frustrated and tired, sick of all the rubbish that went on in the AU. I had been trying to be nice, but everything was boring, and all my friends thought I was bland. I had been trying not to interfere, but all that did was put distance between Bella and me. I had been trying to stay away from the supernatural, but I couldn't stop the vampires stalking me. It was as though my fate was out of my hands, and coupled with a tough quiz about a Shakespeare play, I couldn't deal with it.

"Stop. Staring. At. Me." I tried to keep my voice to a whisper, but I couldn't contain my anger.

Edward looked a little bashful, and looked away. "Sorry."

This made my anger even worse. The stupid vampire had forgotten that humans didn't stare like that, and it reminded me that Edward wasn't human, and that was my biggest problem.

"Don't give me that crap. Stop staring at me, and tell Alice to leave me alone. You Cullens are so _weird_."

Now Edward really looked awkward. I had successfully reminded him that their behavior hadn't been normal. Jen: 1, Edward: 0.

"Again, I'm sorry. I'll tell Alice to stay away." His voice was smooth, persuasive, and I almost fell under it's power. Edward ran his hands through his hair, and gave me a tiny smile. I knew what he was doing; he was trying to dazzle me. It nearly worked for a second, before my inner bitch screamed at me. _He's trying to distract you!_

"Stop that. Freak." I pulled my books together, and stuck my hand up. "Mr Mason, can I please be excused? Lady issues."

Mr Mason cringed and signed a pass for me.

As I picked up my bag, I muttered, "I hate you," under my breath, and Edward glared at me again. I knew he had heard what I said, but how could he react to that? Isn't hatred what he wanted? He should have been pleased.

Once in the safety of the bathroom, I took stock of the damage. I had argued with Bella, snubbed Alice, and jumped down Edward's throat for merely looking at me funny. It was almost as if…oh no.

I ducked into the stall, and quickly checked. Yep. It was my 'time of the month'. It was no wonder I was being so snarky. I could feel the blood rush to my cheeks; I was so embarrassed. In _Twilight_, Bella never had to worry about periods. Well, I'm sure she _had_ her period, but it never affected the way the story went. My raging hormones were wreaking havoc today. The vampires could probably smell it too - maybe that was why Edward was looking at me funny? I was going to have to keep a better handle on my emotions, with such crazy hormones going on.

At lunch, Bella sat as far away from me as possible. This would have hurt my feelings, but I also noticed that she avoided Mike too, choosing to sit next to Angela and Jessica. Even when angry at me, Bella was still able to be diplomatic.

In my quest to be 'nice', I had been sort of avoiding conversation with the other kids. Sometimes I felt like I had this nasty bitch inside me, and if I gave her an inch, she would take over and all hell would break loose. Keeping quiet also made it easier to avoid time travel gaffs. I couldn't run off at the mouth about how much I loved Lady Gaga if I just kept my mouth shut.

Today, though, I knew things had to be different. It was time to come back out of my shell. Sure, I had promised Bella I would be nice, but I wasn't enjoying myself. What had keeping quiet done, really? Edward and Bella still didn't talk, and I had lost the respect I had earned from Lauren and the others. It was time to be more 'myself', and shake things up a bit. Bella was going to be busy with Edward over the next few weeks. I had until the Port Angeles trip before I had to do anything; why not amuse myself with some high school politics?

"Hey, Lauren!" I called out across the table.

"Yeah?" Lauren was grinning as she turned to me. She'd probably been saying nasty things to Jessica about me. Bitch.

"Who're you asking to the spring dance?" I was definitely stirring the pot now. Bella was glaring at me and shaking her head.

Lauren shrugged. "I dunno. Haven't decided. How about you?"

I grinned. "I don't know. I wanted to make sure I didn't ask the wrong person. I'm not even sure if I'm going to go."

Bella continued the death stare, and I internally noted that her and Edward were evenly matched. They could both glare until the cows came home. Jess was trying not to look interested, but her body was subtly turned in my direction, and her eyes were suspiciously averted to the ceiling. The boys had stopped their rowdy conversation about, once again, the beach trip to La Push, and were playing with their lunch awkwardly. Mike was smiling at Bella, and Eric was nervously running his hands through his hair, watching Mike out of the corner of his eyes. I half expected them to whip out their peens and have a pissing competition.

The pot was most definitely stirred. I could tell Lauren secretly loved the tension, and her wide smile confirmed this. _This_ is what was missing from Forks High School; horny teenagers and bitch fights. No wonder Bella had fallen in love with a vampire, there was such little excitement!

Lauren winked at me. "Why wouldn't you go? Are you afraid no one will want to go with you?"

I decided to pull back on the bitchiness. No need to let it all out at once – a slow burn could be just as much fun. "Maybe." I shrugged, "I'm new. Guys might not want to go with new girls like Bella and me."

Lauren opened her mouth to say something, but changed her mind. She smiled, and turned to Jessica to say something. Bella was seething – her face had gone bright red. I probably should have talked to her about whether she wanted to go to the dance, instead of just assuming she didn't. Another mistake; just because she didn't in _Twilight_ didn't mean it was the same now.

The conversation around the table started up again, and I just enjoyed the high I was feeling. School was so darn boring, and having a 'risky' conversation was probably the highlight of my day. I honestly didn't know why Bella had to be in school in _Twilight_. Couldn't Stephenie Meyer plonk her somewhere more interesting? I'm sure Stephenie didn't enjoy writing Forks High. I didn't even have the excitement of Edward and young love like Bella. All I had was a mind numbing fear of the supernatural creatures that once upon a time I had loved. It was easy to want to be Alice's best friend from the safety of your living room, but face-to-face, well, it gave me the creeps.

I was reduced to baiting dumb ass teenagers for kicks. As I walked next to Lauren on our way to Chem, I reflected on how sad it was. Back home, I used to drink and smoke and do all kinds of crazy shit. I was pretty wild, and there were many times where I had blacked out and woken up in some guy's house.

At first it was fun, and I had known that mum did the same thing as a kid, and other kids were doing it, so I didn't feel too bad about it. That was before I got so wasted and high at an end-of-exams party, that I messed up badly.

I had woken up in a strange house, still drunk, next to my English teacher. I don't remember much of that night, but I know I hauled ass out of there pretty quickly, praying that he wouldn't remember what had happened either. To make things worse, I didn't know where I had ended up, so I spent three hours stumbling around a strange suburb in the dark, still smashed and stoned out of my mind. There were so many creeps trying to talk to me... one came too close and I tried to move away...it was next to a busy road, and I couldn't see straight…

I woke up in a hospital a few hours later, after falling in front of a car. That was the moment I realized I was fucking up my life. Waking up in the hospital, alone, with a frigging hangover and two broken ribs, made me realize that what I was doing was dangerous, and not fun at all. Spending the next day in bed, thinking about how much it hurt, how disgusting I felt, and dreading going back to school to face the consequences…it was a real wake up call. I mean, I had only turned seventeen in September. I had slept with a _thirty-year-old_, and then gotten myself hit by a car. I was lucky to be alive, and it made me realize that my own mother was lucky to be alive after doing the same things for her whole life. Acting like that was putting my life at risk.

I stopped doing all the crazy stuff. Luckily, there had only been a few more weeks of school before the Christmas holidays, and I could hide away all summer before I went into year eleven, with a new set of teachers that I hadn't slept with. I cleaned up my act, and decided to start living my life like I wanted to live past thirty.

Two months later, Mum died. She drank herself to death, and before I had time to process it, I died in the train crash and woke up here in _Twilight_. I had another chance to be a teenager without the awful start. I didn't like to think about all the bad stuff I had done in my old life – I was all for a fresh start. Mr Mason wasn't hot either, compared to my old English teacher… there was NO chance I would be doing that again. The stuff I had done back in Australia would never happen here; I had a loving family, and no reason to go off the rails. I didn't think that Bella or Renee would let me get drunk and sleep around, in Forks there was no chance of that happening.

Forks was boring. Forks was safe. It was the ideal place for someone trying to stay on the straight and narrow. Today's conversation reinforced this in my mind; you couldn't go wrong in Forks without trying. Bella didn't try hard enough to make Forks interesting in _Twilight_, but I wasn't going to make that mistake. She may be running off with Edward to be a vampire eventually, but I was (hopefully) stuck as a human, and I had to amuse myself with human pursuits. The time for being good was over. It was time for a little _danger_, just not the 'sleeping with teachers' variety.

I had daydreamed my way across to Chem without realizing it, and had to jostle through the crowd to come level with Lauren and make sure I could sit next to her.

"Hey, Lauren. Psyched about the La Push trip this weekend?" The guys had been talking about it for weeks, and my reservedness had earned me a compulsory invite. After they talked about it in front of me, they _had_ to invite me.

Lauren shrugged. "I guess. I'm more worried about the dance."

"Why? Aren't you going to ask Tyler?"

She gave me a funny look. "How did you know that?"

I tapped my temple; it seemed to be becoming my signature move. "Psychic. Get used to it." Lauren didn't say anything, so I continued. "Well, when are you going to ask?"

Lauren sighed. "I don't know. I don't have any more classes with him until tomorrow. And…" Lauren looked away, wrinkling her nose.

"Yes? Continue?" I was eager for her response. Like I said before, Forks was a boring place. High school drama was all I had.

"Well…I think Tyler wants to go with Bella or you."

I laughed out loud. "Bella doesn't want to go to the dance! And I would never do that to you, Lauren!"

She scoffed. "Sure, Jen. How can I trust you?"

Here was my big reveal, what I had been thinking about for months. I may not be able to muck around with the supernatural characters, but I could certainly make things easier for some of the human characters.

"You can totally trust me. I think I'm going to ask Eric. He's got that nerdy look going on, and as long as I make him wash his hair, he'll only improve."

Lauren looked a little relieved. "So you're not going to ask Tyler?"

I shook my head. 'Not a chance. I think Angela should ask Ben to the dance. He's totally crushing on her, and she doesn't realize."

She grinned. "Great idea. Did you hear Jess asked Mike?"

We began a little gossip session in the middle of class. I had to be careful, though it was easy to explain away any slip-ups just by saying that I was psychic. I decided that it was my new defence for any mistakes I made; some people just seemed to know things, right? It was a normal thing, sort of.

I needed to improve the La Push trip as well. What kids went to a beach for the day and just hiked around rock pools? Lame.

"Lauren, what will we do down at La Push? It's too cold to swim!"

Lauren shrugged. "The boys will hike and stuff, I don't want to do that. I guess we will just be hanging out."

This comment interested me. "So what on Earth are the guys doing that is taking them so much time to plan?"

Lauren looked around shiftily, and leaned closer to me. "I guess I can trust you, you seem a little cooler than your sister about this sort of stuff. Tyler's brother is going to buy us some alcohol, and the guys are trying to organize a kitty."

This made much more sense. Teenagers didn't go looking in rock pools for kicks. No wonder Bella had so much trouble relating to other teens; she was just unaware of the obvious, and she would never have thought of it in _Twilight_ because she didn't notice the kids drinking. It explained the Quileutes as well; why would they want to hang out with strangers if there wasn't any alcohol involved? Bella had to have had her head in the sand, or was blinded by Edward, or both, to have missed her friends getting drunk.

"Why not tell Bella? You realize you just told the Police Chief's daughter about your under age drinking?"

Lauren's wide, scared eyes amused me, and I could only hold in my snorts for a second. "I'm just kidding, Lauren. Bella's totally not into anything like that, and I won't tell Dad. How do I get in on this kitty?" If I was going to bring some _danger _into my life, a little drinking wouldn't hurt. Everything in moderation, right?

Eventually, Lauren and I did some work, with Lauren helping me through some of the tougher atomic structures. I really hated Chem, and I had to keep repeating to myself "I picked this for Bella." I was definitely eligible for Sister of the Year. The bell rang, and I was assaulted by a memory.

_Bella was annoyed. "What? Are you speaking to me again?"_

_Edward fought a smile. "No, not really."_

_The vision went black, but I could feel her anger, which tinged the edges of the darkness red. "Then what do you want, Edward?"_

"_I'm sorry." Even in the darkness, his voice was distinct, clear, beautiful. "I'm being very rude. But it's better this way, really."_

I didn't get a choice in the memory, it just filled my vision – in fact, I nearly collided with Lauren as we filed out of the room. I could almost hear the voiceover, "We interrupt this program to bring you breaking news from Bellavision."

I needed to learn how to get rid of it. I didn't want to spend my life watching Bella's every interaction with Edward. That was just stupid. Walking into Lauren had snapped me out of the vision; I didn't know how long I would have had to watch otherwise.

It had been handy though – it was both satisfying and frustrating to see the conversation played out the same way it was in _Twilight_. It was satisfying because I could see that even after two months, I hadn't messed anything up, and their romance was going perfectly. It was also frustrating, because it was _exactly _the same. I had made no difference, and had improved nothing. The main things I had wanted to change came much later in the plot, but I had at least wanted to avoid the two-month silence.

I could have done worse though. Edward could have stayed in Denali and never come back. Bella could have been killed in the van crash. I could have been killed. I'd rather keep things the same than kill myself, again.

Gym was torture, not because I was playing particularly bad, but because Bella was just completely awful. She kept tripping, and one time, when I passed the ball to her out of pity, it hit her in the face, making her cry. Bella actually called me a "bitch", and ran away. She must have been really distracted by Edward today to be so much worse than usual. Bella was really angry at me too, for trying to interfere, and she was still glaring at me from the sidelines of the court. At least I think it was glaring; one eye was covered by an ice-pack.

Bella rushed off without waiting for me to get changed, which was a bit rude of her. I had a bit of a giggle to myself though; I knew that Bella was walking straight to Eric. That wouldn't improve her mood one bit.

I turned the corner of the stadium to head for the car park, when I almost ran into Alice. She had been hiding just around the corner, intending to block me off. I tried to step around her, wanting desperately to avoid this conversation, but Alice shifted, so that she was once again in front of me.

"Leave me alone!" I hissed, looking around to see if there were any other students nearby. It was fairly quiet, with only a few in the distance. Not many people used this path to the parking lot, which meant no witnesses. Damn.

"I need to talk to you." Alice's voice was low, and urgent. In the books, it seemed like she was perky and peppy all the time, but the only side of her I had seen was intense glares.

"Well, get it over with," I grumbled. Alice's gold eyes were boring into mine, and I broke our eye contact on purpose because it was scary.

"I know what you're doing. Stop interfering."

_Here we go._ "Interfering with what? I know nothing." I tried to make my voice steady, but Alice's stare was uncomfortable.

"Don't lie. You keep trying to change things. Stop it."

Ah, I see what had happened. My choices were interfering with Alice's visions. Every time I chose to act, or hold back, it was changing her visions. Obviously, she didn't like that.

"Alice." I took a deep breath; I was taking a huge risk here. "Isn't it safer for everyone if I know nothing at all?"

Alice looked taken aback. Her small features crinkled, and then her eyes glazed over. She was having a vision. I patiently waited until she went back to herself. Alice tilted her head, and looked at me strangely.

"I'll leave you alone. I guess you do know 'nothing'. But just know this; I'm still watching." Alice turned on her heel, and walked away in the opposite direction. _Stupid vampire_.

I was safe for now. Alice was giving me a free pass, purely because she could see it was dangerous for me to admit what I knew. It was a matter of time before Edward found out, but if I could keep it from him for as long as possible, I could possibly avoid any Volturi involvement, and that was always the best outcome.

I practically ran to meet Bella at the car. As I nearly skidded to a stop at the door, I could see Eric walking dejectedly away. I hopped into the cab.

"You took your time." Bella was griping the steering wheel tight. Someone wasn't a happy camper.

"I got caught talking to someone." I looked around. "Wait one sec, Bella."

I hopped out again, and chased after Eric. "Hey! Yorkie!"

Eric slowly turned, flicking his hair out of his eyes. Ugh. _This is my only safe option_.

"Do you want to go to the dance with me?" I said it in a rush, before I could back out.

Eric raised his eyebrows. "A pity date?"

"What?" I remembered he had _just_ asked Bella and been rejected. "No! I was always going to ask you, even Lauren will tell you."

His face brightened. "Really? You want to go with me?"

"Sure." I heard the truck start, and Bella was backing out of the parking spot. I think she was ready to leave school. "Listen, I've got to go. Talk tomorrow about it, okay?"

Eric grinned. 'Sounds good. See you tomorrow, Jen."

I rushed back to Bella and the truck. The Chevy was stuck idling in the parking lot, blocked by a shiny silver Volvo. Just like the book. I hopped into the passenger seat, and Bella grumbled a little, but her annoyance at me was soon replaced by fury.

Tyler had taken the opportunity (of course) to ask Bella to the dance while we were stuck. Bella was rude, even by my standards, but I figured she had had a rotten day. She even revved the engine at Edward's Volvo.

"Bella, can we please get home without destroying any cars?"

Bella exhaled. "Sorry. He's just so damn annoying!"

I thought about Edward's behavior earlier, and my altercation with him. I thought about my run ins with Alice, and my initial trouble with Rosalie, and I could totally sympathize with Bella.

"They all are, Bella. They're just _really_ annoying."

We spent the whole trip home venting about the Cullens and how much they irritated us, though I think my reasons were a little more justified. Bella would at least get to fall in love with Edward; I had to put up with him with no gain for me.

Damn. Life sure was complicated with vampires around.

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What did you all think of Alice? Or Edward? Would you have picked Eric as Jen's date for the dance? We got to learn a little more about Jen's past life too...what do you think? Let me know! Reviews will help my survive the next 5 days! :)

Also, I got a Twitter. Add me jesicka309 to hear about how awesome Australia is and how I'm going with this fic! :D


	11. Chapter 11

Hello all! I'm sorry about the wait in updating - I'm finally finished uni, and you know what that means? Unemployed writing time! :D

Thanks to lharkcom and mycrookedsmile for betaing this chapter.

I thought I'd let you know about the Original Character Awards. Nominations are open, so if you think Jen is one of the best original characters around, go nominate her at http : / / originalcharacterawards (dot) blogspot (dot) com (remove spaces)

Enjoy!

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Chapter 11 – Play It Safe

"Hey, Dad? Do you mind if I watch the game with you?" I was standing in the doorway of the living room, in my pajamas, with a blanket wrapped around me.

Charlie looked up from his chair, and nodded. "Sure, Jenny. Just promise you aren't going to jabber away this time."

I smiled. "Lips are sealed, Dad." I hopped onto the couch and snuggled into the corner.

Charlie mumbled, "They better be," and turned his attention back to the screen.

On top of all the drama of that day at school, I had almost made a blunder that could have ruined everything. Edward was coming to watch Bella sleep tonight. I knew this because I had read _Midnight Sun_, which was a lucky thing, otherwise I would have had Edward watching me sleep as well as Bella. According to _Midnight Sun, _Edward decides to watch Bella sleep the night after all the boys ask Bella to the dance. Well, that day was today, and I had completely forgotten, hopping into bed, and settling down. I lay there for ten minutes, realized what day it was with a yelp, and jumped out of bed.

That's why I was out watching football with Charlie; I was going to sleep on the couch. I didn't want Edward watching me, and for all I knew my presence would scare him away. I wanted to play it safe.

After an hour, my eyes began to droop, and not long after that I found myself dozing off. At around eleven, Charlie shook me awake.

"Jen! Jenny! You should go to bed, you're falling asleep."

I groaned. "No…Dad…I have to stay out here…"

"Why?" Charlie asked.

I rubbed my eyes, trying to come up with a plausible excuse. "Bella talks, like all night. I can't get any sleep."

"So you're sleeping down here…"

"Well, tonight's the first night. I'm testing it."

Charlie smiled. "At least let me get you a pillow, you'll hurt your neck."

Charlie went out to the linen cupboard and brought me back two limp looking pillows. One had a funny stain on it. Yuck.

"Thanks, Dad. Uh…" I paused, wondering if I was doing the right thing, "…Do you think you could not tell Bella about this? I'm worried she'll be embarrassed."

Charlie patted me on the head. "Don't worry, Jenny. My lips are sealed." He left, flicking the light off as he went.

I didn't really understand why Bella and Charlie had so much trouble talking – I got along with Charlie just fine. Every time I said the word, "dad", it gave me a little thrill. I finally had someone to call dad.

I had been really tired when I was watching the game, but the reminder of why I was sleeping on the couch woke me up completely. Edward was coming, and now that Charlie had gone to bed, Edward was possibly _here, _in this house. It was hard to relax and drift off knowing that. I knew that Edward would never come if I stayed awake, but I felt like it was Christmas Eve and I was expecting Santa any minute. Well…except for the part where Santa brought presents. Edward was coming to stalk Bella. They were definitely different things.

Eventually, I made myself go to sleep by relaxing different parts of my body. I slept restlessly, dreaming of angry yellow eyes that would morph into the yellow beams of a car's headlights, and suddenly I was back in that day in the OU, with a car about to hit me as I stumbled down the street.

Charlie shook me awake at about six o'clock. "Jenny! Wake up!"

I groaned. "Yeah, Dad?"

"I thought you would want to get up before Bella does, just so she doesn't notice you down here."

I sat up. "Good idea, Dad. Can you do that from now on?"

"Sure, kiddo. Do you want breakfast?" Charlie grinned at me. "I have coffee?"

"I'm up! Definitely up for coffee!"

Charlie and I sat around the tiny table, sipping on our coffees, and eating our breakfast. Over the two months I had lived in Forks, I had investigated the possibility of Vegemite, and had ordered a couple of jars over eBay. I was finally able to enjoy my favorite yeasty spread.

Charlie wrinkled his nose. "That stuff smells disgusting, Jenny. How can you eat it?"

I smiled, my mouth still full of toast. "It puts a rose in every cheek!"

Charlie shook his head. "I don't know where you get these things, Jen. First the Vegemite, and the Australian Football…"

"What's wrong with AFL?" I swallowed my toast. "It's only preseason at the moment, just wait until the real season starts."

He chuckled. "See, Jen? Where do you know this stuff? You never knew about AFL before."

"I was flipping channels back in Phoenix, and I saw the men in those little shorts, and then I found out more after I kept watching. No big deal." The lie came surprisingly easy to me.

Charlie grunted. "Anyway, Jen. I talked to Bella about the dance, and she says she's not going."

I shrugged. "That's what she told me."

"But are _you_ going?" he asked.

I sipped my coffee. "Yep, Dad, I'm going with Eric Yorkie."

"Yorkie. Dark hair, kind of skinny?"

"Yep, that's the one. We're just going as friends though."

Charlie crossed his arms. "I see. You make sure he picks you up and drives you home. I want to meet this boy."

"Sure, Dad. Only if you promise not to scare him with your gun or something."

He snorted. "I can't promise that."

We went back to our breakfasts, and I sipped on my coffee some more.

"Hey, Dad?"

"Yes?"

"Do you think I could get a cell phone? Just so I can keep in contact if I have to."

Charlie gave me a funny look. "Cell phones are expensive, Jen."

"I know, I know. Not a new one, just something second hand. I would pay for the calls myself."

Charlie raised his eyebrows. "From your bank account? I don't know, Jenny…"

I cut him off. "Think of it this way. You saved us money on the truck, and we wouldn't be making any calls anyway. It would just be so you could check up on us, like when I'm at the dance, or when Bella goes to Seattle."

"I don't like the idea of Bella going to Seattle alone; I wish she would wait for you." Charlie sighed. "I'll see what I can do. I think one of the guys from work just got a new cell, so I might be able to buy his old one cheap."

I jumped up and hugged Charlie. "Thanks, Dad! You're the best."

Charlie stiffened, and awkwardly patted me on the back. "No problem, Jen. You'll have to share it with Bella though, I'm not getting two."

I grinned. "That's okay, we spend most of our time together anyway, and don't worry, Bella won't go to Seattle. She'll change her mind. I know these things."

"Right, you know that because you're psychic." Charlie tipped the last of his coffee into his mouth. "I'm off. See you tonight, Jen."

"See you, Dad. Thanks for the cell thing."

Charlie grunted, and left me to the rest of my breakfast. Not long after, Bella came down stairs. Already, she was brighter, purely after talking to Edward once. God help the silly girl.

"Morning! You're up early!" Bella patted me on the head as she walked past, and I rolled my eyes.

"I didn't want to be late. I'm pretty sure you want to get to school early."

"Correct. Can I try some of your Vegemite?"

"Go for it. I've got plenty now."

"Why do you like it so much, anyway?"

I sighed. "Because it's salty goodness in a jar."

She rolled her eyes. "If it's gross, it's your fault."

"Whatever. Charlie's gonna get us a cell phone."

Bella spun around. "What for?"

"So we can call people, silly."

"Who're we gonna call?"

I bit my tongue. I couldn't reveal my plans for the cell phone. There were so many times where a simple phone call from Bella would have prevented damage. If Bella had a cell phone, I could always get hold of her when I needed to, and if she was with Edward, I could use it to get in contact with her. It seemed like a no-brainer that everyone had completely overlooked in the _Twilight_ series.

"I don't know. It's just for emergencies."

"Right. Like when we were hit by a van. That was an emergency." Bella's voice was sarcastic.

"Bella… don't do this now."

Bella shook her head. "Now is perfect. How did you know about the van?"

I groaned. "I'm psychic. Can you just drop it?"

Bella's good mood had evaporated, and she frowned. "Yeah, like Edward told me to drop it. Why does everyone have secrets?"

"I just told you my secret. I'm psychic. I know stuff. I knew the van was coming. Happy?" I picked up my plate and cup, and took them to the sink.

"No, I'm not. You're lying. I know it."

"Whatever, Bella. Don't believe me if you want. I'm getting ready for school."

I stalked out of the room, fuming. I just about told her the truth, and she still didn't believe me. What more did she want? Did she want me to say 'I'm actually from another universe where you are characters in a book?' It sure sounded like it. Bella was just so damn nosy!

Ten minutes later, I heard the rumble of the truck and I raced downstairs. Bella was sitting in the cab, the truck running. I hopped into the passenger seat.

"I thought the truck would get you running. You were taking forever."

I yawned. "Sorry."

As we pulled into school, Bella said, "Jen, I don't like how we're drifting apart."

I sighed, turning to look at her. "Neither do I."

Bella pulled the truck into a vacant space, and pulled the handbrake on. "It's because of the van. Why don't you just tell me the truth?"

Bella stared at me, trying to get me to confess, or at least give something away. I fought to maintain eye contact, before giving up and looking at my hands.

"Bella, I will tell you everything I know. Just not yet."

Bella groaned. "Jenny…"

I looked back at her. "Hang on. When you know how Edward stopped the van, come to me. I'll tell you when you know about him."

Bella's jaw dropped. Had I said too much?

"So…so you think there's something different about them?"

Bella had worked out that his whole family was different. I wonder how many more steps it would take for her to work out that they were vampires?

I shrugged. "Probably. Speaking of Edward, I better go."

Before Bella could say anything, I had hopped out of the car and was dashing through the rain to the main building.

I nearly collided with something solid and pale.

"Bella?" I looked up to see the perfect face of Edward Cullen.

I frowned. "Sorry, no. I'm Jen." I rolled my eyes. "Bella is in the truck."

Edward ran his hand through his hair. "Oh, okay." He looked over my shoulder, then he smiled at me. "See you in English, Jen."

He stepped around me, and walked past me towards the truck. I turned to watch as he moved towards Bella. She dropped her keys in a puddle, and cursing, bent down to pick them up. Edward suddenly sped up, practically flying to Bella's side, and plucked the keys up before she could reach them.

My eyes must have been as wide as saucers, because I could not believe what I had just seen. I looked around me, at the empty parking lot, at the buildings behind me, and finally back at Edward. He was talking to Bella, and she was scowling, but didn't seem shocked – she mustn't have noticed his speed.

I turned and ran. It seemed childish, but I was terrified. I had seen Edward use his vampire speed. Edward probably didn't even know I had seen it, and I wanted to get away before he realized. It was all very well to know that the Cullens were vampires, and suspect that they were doing things I couldn't see or hear, but to witness Edward's mistake with my own eyes? It wasn't exciting, like I thought it would be. It was scary. They actually had a reason to eliminate me; I had seen too much.

It took all my courage to walk through that door into Calculus, but I had to remind myself that Rosalie didn't know what I had seen. Yet.

"Miss Swan! Thank you for gracing us with your presence!" Mr. Varner's voice was dripping with sarcasm.

"No problem," I mumbled, hanging my head and sliding into my seat.

I peeked up at Rosalie, and it didn't seem like she was angry. I was sure I was safe.

"_So you are trying to irritate me to death? Since Tyler's van didn't do the job?"_

"_Bella, you are utterly absurd."_

"Shut up, shut up," I muttered, clenching my hands. I didn't _want_ to hear Bella and Edward getting all cozy. I didn't want a live feed of her thoughts, but it seemed like I was going to get one, whether I wanted it or not. I needed to concentrate, and Bella's stupid thoughts kept intruding at the worst times.

"_Are you trying to be funny?"_

"_Will you please allow me to finish?" His eyes danced with amusement…_

I groaned. "Don't care, don't listen, shut up, shut up, Bella, shut up, Edward."

"Excuse me?"

I gasped as I realized what I had just said. I looked up at Rosalie, expecting to see a face full of anger, but her face was quite blank and unreadable.

She spoke again. "Did you just say 'shut up, Bella, shut up, Edward?'"

_Shit_. I looked to the front of the room. Mr. Varner was writing on the board, and the rest of the class was copying. I looked back at Rosalie.

"You can't do anything." I whispered, terrified.

Rosalie lifted an eyebrow. "Why not?"

"There are people here. There are witnesses. It would be impossible to cover up."

She smirked. "I can wait." Her smile died a little. "What do you think I'm going to do?"

I shivered. "Nothing. I don't know anything."

"Yes, you do. Don't lie. What did you mean, when you said, 'shut up Edward'?"

"Um…" I could feel my heart rate increase, and my face felt hot and sticky.

"Then you said, 'you can't do anything'. What can't I do?" Rosalie didn't look angry, like I expected. She was leaning towards me, whispering her words.

I blinked. "Stop it. I know what you're doing."

I had to get out of there. I had messed up so badly. Rosalie knew; she knew that I had more information than I was letting on.

"Mr. Varner? I feel sick, can I go to the nurse?" Without waiting for a response, I scooped up my books and bag, and raced out of there.

I started to run, slipping the books into my bag as I went. I didn't know where I was going, and I found myself making a beeline for the girl's bathroom, the haven of every teenage girl in trouble. I skidded around the corner, almost at my goal, when I was blocked.

"Gaaaahhh!" I had nearly collided with Alice, who was standing at the bathroom door. "Fuck! Leave me alone!"

Alice didn't move. She pointed behind her. "In. Now."

I cursed under my breath. "And what if I don't want to?"

Alice smiled. "You don't have a choice."

She reached out and gripped my arm, and steered me into the bathroom. I was surprised to see Jasper in there, with his hands behind his back, and his perfect face passive.

Alice let go of my arm, and moved to stand next to Jasper. Her movements were all wrong; they were fast, and smooth, and not at all human.

I instinctively backed up as far as I could, against the opposite wall. Jasper's lips curled into a smirk.

"She's frightened."

Alice looked up at him. "Exactly. She wouldn't be if she didn't…"

Jasper nodded. "Yes, you're right."

Their stupid silent conversation annoyed me; it was just so damn rude! I gritted my teeth.

"Are you going to tell me why I'm here?" My hands clenched into fists.

Alice and Jasper both turned their heads towards me.

"Jenny." Alice said, smiling. "You must have some idea about why you're here."

I frowned. "Stop treating me like I'm stupid. I have some idea, I just wanted an actual answer."

"So do we." Alice was suddenly right in my face, looking into my eyes. "What do you know?"

I shrank into the wall. "Nothing. Leave me alone!"

Her face came closer, her scent permeating my senses. "Don't lie. What do you know?"

I shivered. "I'll tell you…but not yet."

I tried to rationalize it in my brain. If I could convince the Cullens to wait for an explanation, it would give me time to come up with a good one. If I could put off Bella, why not the Cullens?

Alice drew back, and glanced at Jasper. He nodded, and she continued. "Explain."

I exhaled. "Does Edward know that I'm…not unaware?"

Alice cocked her head to the side. "No… he hasn't… found out yet."

I mentally applauded her. _Cute choice of words there_. That was the kind of deception I needed to practice. It was too bad I already knew what she was avoiding.

Jasper raised an eyebrow. "She knows."

Alice waved him off. "No, no." She turned back to me. "Does Bella know what you know?"

I smiled a little. "No. She wants to know, but I won't tell her. Not yet."

Alice began to pace in front of me. It was actually kind of comical, watching the little vampire get agitated in front of me.

She muttered, "What should I do, what should I do?"

Jasper moved to her side, and pulled Alice into his arms. "What do you see, Alice?"

Her voice was slightly muffled, as she said, "I don't know Jas, it keeps changing."

I took their distraction as a cue to make my escape. I edged along the wall, keeping my eyes on the couple as they murmured to each other. Reaching the door in disbelief, I was about to slip out when I crashed into the rock hard form of Rosalie.

I cursed. 'You have got to be fucking kidding me!"

Rosalie looked over my head at Alice and Jasper. "Mr. Varner sent me to find Jen. What are you doing with her?"

I scowled and looked up at Rosalie. Her lips were twisted into a wry smile.

Alice spoke. "Same thing you are. Looking for answers."

I crossed my arms. "Fine." I shuffled back over to my patch of wall.

This was bad. I did not have just one, but three vampires who wanted answers. Not to mention Edward, who was sure to be suspicious of me. If anything, he would be alerted by their thoughts that something was up. I had to somehow fix this, and though it was scary to admit it, it was time to change up the _Twilight _timeline.

I took a deep breath. "I know things about you. Secret things… that no one knows."

Alice zoomed in close to me. "I knew it!"

I groaned. "Get out of my face!" I waited until Alice took a step back. "I know a lot… but I don't really want to give away specifics."

Rosalie laughed. "You give away anything to anyone, and you're dead."

I shrugged. "Exactly. Why do you think I've been avoiding all of you?"

Rosalie nodded. "Continue."

"Well.. it's not like you guys have been hiding it very well. Alice has been moving around the room way too fast, and I saw Edward do the same thing earlier…" Alarm bells went off in my head. _What if he can hear what we are talking about?_

Jasper nodded. "So, we've been careless. What else do you know?"

"That," I swallowed nervously, "That… you don't eat food, but a…a _wilder_ sort of game. That Alice can see the future and Edward can read minds and-"

"So you know about our 'special lifestyle'?" Jasper asked, before turning to Alice. "Well then, she has to die." He said matter-of-factly.

I shivered. This was not what I was expecting when I got up this morning. I wasn't supposed to die. It was going all wrong – fatally wrong.

"No.." Alice said slowly. "That would ruin the other plan…"

Rosalie rolled her eyes. "What, the Edward plan? I'm sure he wouldn't be happy at first, but it's only the twin." Rosalie looked at me. "What does Bella know, Jenny?"

My hands were shaking so badly I thought they were going to fall off. "Nothing. Bella knows nothing… but she's going to work it out."

Alice nodded. "That's true. I've seen it." She looked at me, "Besides, killing Jen would only make her more suspicious, and possibly hate Edward… no, Jenny must live."

I couldn't believe how coldly they were discussing my life; this was exactly what I had been worrying about since I first arrived in Forks. I didn't want to be eliminated.

Like my prayers had been answered, the bell rang. I could hear classes begin to spill out, and before I could blink, I was alone in the bathroom, the door swinging in the vampires' wake. Saved by the bell.

I slowly moved towards the door, shocked by how close I had come to being killed. I had been sloppy, but so had the vampires, and they were prepared to eliminate me because of it. How did they get so suspicious? Surely it was Alice's visions, but I couldn't work out what she would have seen – technically, I hadn't done anything, short of running away from Edward, that would have alerted her.

I shuffled into Government, only to find Bella sitting next to some other girl. She didn't even look up as I went past, and it hurt. All the crap I was going through for her…how easy it would be to just give up and let everything happen any old way.

"Do you mind moving, Haley? Jen usually sits here."

Bella smiled at the girl, who obligingly moved to the desk behind.

I grinned and put my books on the desk. "You didn't have to do that."

She shrugged. "I wanted to sit with you. You looked unhappy... did something happen with Rosalie?"

_How did she know?_ "Uh, yeah. Nothing major though, just some words exchanged. I'm a big girl, I can handle it."

"Sure." Bella nodded, and I didn't think she was listening. She was probably distracted by thoughts of her 'dreamy Edward'. Just wait until she found out he was a vampire. Then there'd be trouble.

Government flew by, and before I knew it, it was time for English, with Edward. I bade Bella farewell, and began the shuffle to English.

Even though I tried my best to waste as much time as possible, I was still one of the first to class. I sat in my regular assigned seat, pulled out my notebook, and started doodling. I felt mentally exhausted; facing down death wasn't easy, and I hadn't gotten a great sleep on the couch the night before. I really wanted to go home and sleep.

I heard the chair next to me scrape out, and I knew it was Edward. I didn't bother to look up, and kept drawing. Edward didn't say anything, and I was grateful for that.

Mr. Masen started walking down the aisle, passing back the pop quiz from the day before. It didn't take a genius to see how badly I'd done; a big red 55% adorned the front of the test. I quickly slid it under my book before anyone (read: Edward) could see my result.

The lesson started, and I continued my drawings, writing words and then decorating them with my highlighters.

"Queen?" Edward's voice startled me, and my highlighter skidded across the page.

I looked up at him. "Excuse me?"

"Your drawing." Edward pointed at my page. "It's a Queen lyric."

I gaped. "You know Queen?" Most people had heard of Queen, but to recognize the song I had been doodling was pretty unusual.

Edward shrugged. "Somewhat. I'm pretty familiar with all of the seventies bands."

I narrowed my eyes. Of course he would know Queen, but that wasn't why I was annoyed. What the hell was he playing at, trying to be friendly, after the way his family had treated me?

Edward read the lyrics out loud. "'Let us never lose the lessons we have learned.' I much prefer the Japanese chorus."

Pulling the paper towards myself, I scowled. "I can never remember the Japanese lyrics exactly, so I just stick with the English."

Edward chuckled. "Fair enough. I'm actually surprised you know the song. How did you know _Teo Toriatte_?"

I bit my lip. My secret Queen obsession was an OU thing that I had deemed safe for the AU. I couldn't talk about Lady Gaga or Katy Perry, but Queen was definitely a safe band.

I decided to just tell him the truth, the OU truth. "My Mom won their Greatest Hits CD in a pub raffle, and she didn't want it, so I got it. I listened to it, and fell in love with it; you know, _Bohemian Rhapsody_? I actually went online and tried to find out when they were releasing their next album!"

Edward shook his head and smiled. "You wouldn't have been pleased about the answer."

I looked back down at the paper. "No… I cried when I found out Freddie Mercury had been dead for over a decade. I was devastated."

I remembered that day vividly – a fourteen year-old crying in front of a computer about a dead singer she had never met, that had died before she was born. I had managed to get the back catalogue from a guy who I had slept with, Kieren, who downloaded them all for me, in exchange for some fun times. I missed Kieren a little…I missed boys. This _Twilight_ crap was seriously injuring my fun times.

Edward broke me out of my reminiscing. "What does Bella think of Queen?"

I froze. There was no Bella in my story. I racked my brains, and searched and searched, until I came up with a memory that would answer his question.

"She's not a fan of the obscure stuff, like me. Bella doesn't mind their Greatest Hits though, just not _Flash._"

Edward grinned. "Awful song."

Mr. Masen came around handing out worksheets for our homework, and the bell rang not long after.

I couldn't understand the behavior of the vampires today. Alice, Rosalie and Jasper had been so threatening, so close to killing me, and yet Edward seemed like he was genuinely interested in me. Not in a lovey-dovey way of course, but in a friendly way. Edward should have been able to hear something in the other's thoughts, at least that Alice and the others had been talking to me.

The only explanation I could come up with, as I zombied my way through Spanish and into lunch, was that Edward was ignoring the others on purpose. Edward was completely focused on Bella, and by extension, me. I didn't want Edward, not over my dead body, but I didn't want to die either. If just one vampire didn't want me dead, then maybe I was okay.

Following Bella and Jessica out of Spanish and into the cafeteria, I was shocked to see Edward sitting alone in the corner. He motioned at Bella to go over there, and with a nervous glance at me, and some weak-ass comment about 'biology homework', she joined him.

Jessica turned to me, "What do you think he wants?"

I shrugged. "I don't know. Some good times?" I winked and made rude motions with my fingers.

She covered her mouth, trying to stifle her giggles. "Jen, stop it!"

Jessica suddenly stopped giggling, and her gaze focused behind me.

"Jen, Alice Cullen is staring at you again. She doesn't look happy."

I slowly turned around to see all four of them, Alice, Jasper, Rosalie, and even Emmett, giving me the stink eye. As I made eye contact, Rosalie ran her finger across her throat.

I shivered, but decided I was safe in the busy cafeteria. I slowly raised my middle finger, giving them the one-fingered salute. Rosalie's grin dropped, and then all four of them looked to Edward's table.

I also looked to where Edward and Bella were sitting. Bella was looking around nervously, at me, and the Cullens, while Edward was glaring at the vampires.

There was trouble in the Cullen camp, and I was right in the thick of it. Perfect.

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What did you think? You know I love and cherish all your reviews, so please, don't stop writing them! Follow me on twitter jesicka309, and don't forget to nominate (only if you think Jen kicks ass more than anyone else!) Jess xo


	12. Chapter 12

Hello! Sorry this took so long! Hopefully this chapter will make up for it!

Thanks for Lharkcom and Flibbertigidget from PTB for beta'ing this chapter. :)

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Chapter 12: Out of Control

I bit my lip and looked down at my lunch, before plastering a smile on my face and turning back to the humans at my table.

"So, Angela," I started, trying to ignore the awful situation I had created on the other side of the room, "Did you end up asking Ben to the dance?"

Angela smiled shyly. "Yes. He said yes."

Jessica squealed. "Oh my God, are you serious? Mike totally said yes to me! We _have _to go shopping for dresses!"

Just like that, they were off on girl talk. I was actually interested in the talk of dresses, since I was going to the dance with Eric and needed something to wear. Unfortunately, I had the tiny matter of the vampires on the other side of the room distracting me with their antics.

From what I could see, Emmett had his hand on Rosalie's shoulder, almost restraining her. Rosalie's face was turned towards Edward and Bella, giving them dirty looks, knowing her. Alice and Jasper only looked mildly interested, but I could tell Alice was a little anxious; her foot was tapping a mile a minute under the table. What had I told them before about being careless? It was a wonder half of Forks didn't know about the Cullens.

It seemed like Edward had decided to ignore his family for the moment, because he was talking intently with Bella. Bella was leaning in towards him, while Edward was a little more reserved, though he kept grinning.

I was trying not to stare, trying so hard not to look like I was watching them, when Bella's thoughts intruded on my own. I knew they were thoughts, because I was too far away to hear what they were saying, and the room was far too noisy. No, it was definitely supernatural, and Bella's thoughts were like a shout in my brain.

"_...Jen keeps staring at us."_

Immediately, I whipped my head away from them, trying to look much more interested in what Lauren was babbling about. Mike, Eric, Ben and the other guys joined our table, and Mike immediately wrinkled his nose.

"Is Bella eating with Cullen today?" His question was directed at me, but Jessica decided to answer, giving the same lame excuse about Biology that Bella had given me.

"Jen, do you know why?" Mike smiled at me, and I shook my head.

"Nope, no idea. Maybe he likes her." I sarcastically put my hands to my face. "Omigosh, she is so lucky! I am so jealous!"

Lauren laughed and Angela shook her head. Jessica looked away awkwardly, and Mike and the other guys looked a little shocked.

I sighed. "I'm not actually jealous, you hear? Still available." I pointed at my left hand. "I don't see a ring on this finger!"

They all laughed, and I chuckled along with them. These kids were so easy to amuse. I couldn't wait to see what they were like down at La Push, with a bit of alcohol to stimulate their minds. Bella sitting with Edward was probably the most scandalous thing that had happened all week.

Truth be told, there was a tiny part of me that was growing a little bit bitter. Bella was getting this awesome deal, where she went through a little danger and fear, with Edward as a reward at the end. I didn't see a reward in the future for me-if anything, getting transported to _Twilight_ was my reward, and wanting anything on top of that was being greedy. I knew that there was no way I could go back to my old life-acting the way I did, drinking the way I was, with the mum I had. It was almost a relief to have the weight of that night with the teacher gone from my past.

My life was in this universe now. My childhood was with Bella, even if it seemed fragmented and strange in my mind. When I had first arrived in the AU, I had been thankful for my strange memories, but now they seemed like a part of me. Bella was a part of me. I got to keep my own personality, my own thoughts, my own…essence? I still felt like me, sans my old physical body and if I was honest, this body did seem more womanly and less lanky, something I had always wished for in a way. I had the added bonus of a clean slate. No one-night-stands with teachers. No car accidents. No stupid decisions.

Bella's thoughts were shouting into my brain again.

_Bella twirled her lemonade cap in her fingers, trying to look casual. "You want one theory? Jen has this idea that you're all superheroes." She glanced up at Edward, watching his reaction._

_Edward's face was frozen, and Bella looked away, feeling uncomfortable. Edward slowly turned his head to look at me across the room. My face was quite impassive, half hidden by hair. Bella followed his gaze, but was startled when Edward spoke._

"_So superheroes, huh?" His voice sounded jovial, another one of his mood swings._

_She shrugged, and looked down at her hands. "It's just a theory. Jen isn't telling me the truth."_

"_Bella." She looked up. Edward's eyes burned into hers, and Bella could feel her mind getting confused. "What isn't Jen telling you?"_

I wanted to throw up. Seeing myself across the room confirmed everything I had ever theorized about. What I had seen just then wasn't a memory. It wasn't my imagination. It wasn't from the _Twilight _book, or the movie. It was Bella's _mind_. I could see what she was seeing, hear what she was hearing. Heck, I could see myself, seeing her thoughts!

This time, I could almost feel the buzz of Bella's thoughts. They weren't intruding now, blocking my own thoughts, like they were before. I was able to think and see, even while I continued to see Bella in my mind's eye. She was complaining to Edward that I wouldn't tell her what I knew.

"…_and I know she knows. I can tell. It's just so typical for Jen not to tell me."_

_Edward closed his eyes for a minute, nodded briefly, and smirked. Opening his amber eyes, he stared intensely into Bella's._

"_What if I'm not the superhero? What if I'm the bad guy?"_

The conversation was wrong, it was _all wrong_. It wasn't supposed to have me in it at all! I was distracted from my internal freak out by Lauren.

"Jen! The bell rang, we've got to go to class." She nudged me, and I shook my head a little, trying to get rid of the anxious feeling clawing at my gut.

"Hang on." There was something I was missing, something that wasn't right at all.

Lauren frowned. "Come on, Jen! We have a test today!"

I blinked. "Right." I needed to stop worrying about vampires, about Bella and Edward, about the future. All I needed to think about was chemical equations.

As Lauren and I left the room, we passed by the Cullens, who were standing in an awkward group by the door. I held my head high, and tried to ignore them. Alice's hand shot out and grabbed me.

"Ow! What are you doing?"

Alice looked sheepish. "Sorry. Don't be scared."

Lauren turned to see what had stopped me, and I waved her off.

"Why shouldn't I be?" I lowered my voice so that the people around couldn't hear me.

"We aren't going to kill you."

I rolled my eyes at Alice's words. "Wow, I'm glad you decided. I've got a test, so excuse me."

I pulled my arm away, and Alice reluctantly released it. Rosalie smiled a little, and I gave her a dirty look.

"Good bye." I turned on my heel and left at a quick walk, trying to make it to class before the test started.

I made it to class just in time, but it didn't make much of a difference to the test. I couldn't even answer half of the questions, and found myself imagining what it would be like to do a subject I was good at. Why couldn't I do an extra math class, or even another language? Mind you, I didn't think they had Indonesian, the language I was taught back in the OU, but still, anything was better than chemistry.

About ten minutes into the test, I started to feel really sick. My forehead broke out into a sweat, and my stomach was churning.

I bit my lip and tried to concentrate, but my hand kept shaking.

Lauren hissed at me. "Are you okay?"

I shook my head. "Don't worry."

I laid my head down on the desk, and closed my eyes, trying to fight off the nausea. After another ten minutes, it suddenly subsided. I felt clammy and my head was cottonwool, but I didn't have to worry about vomiting on my paper any more. In fact, I was able to continue the test, and the teacher hadn't even noticed my episode. _Clearly_ he was incompetent, but that was lucky for me. I didn't want to go to the nurse.

The bell rang, and we passed our papers to the front.

Lauren looked at me with concern. "Are you feeling better? You looked terrible."

I shrugged. "It must have been lunch. Do not get the ham sandwich, I'm telling you."

We wandered down to Gym, chatting about the trip to La Push. I was going to put money in for alcohol, and I was trying to convince Lauren to get something good.

"Make Tyler's brother get vodka, or bourbon. They're the easiest to mix, and vodka has no smell. You can mix vodka with anything. Bourbon goes really well with Coke."

Lauren's mouth tightened. "I think he said they were getting Malibu…"

I scoffed. "Malibu? That tastes like coconut! The boys will hate that!"

Lauren shrugged, and we kept walking. As we got closer, I could see Mike waiting at the door as usual.

I waved. "Hey, Mike! Where's Bella?"

Mike looked worried. "Didn't they… I can't believe… Bella went home sick, Jen."

I froze. "She… went home?"

"Yeah. We did blood typing in class, and Bella went green and said she felt sick. I took her to the nurse, and Cullen looked after her." He wrinkled his nose. "Then when I went back later, they said she had gone home."

"But…" I shook my head and tried to think. Did that explain why I felt so sick during Chem? Maybe it wasn't my funny ham sandwich, maybe it was all Bella? I had completely forgotten about the blood typing, so it hadn't even occurred to me that that was today.

"Why didn't they tell me? I _am_ her sister."

"I don't know, Jen. I thought they would've. Come on, we better get into Gym."

I was distracted that lesson, confused by everything that had happened that day. Was I really linked to Bella like that? I tried to think back to all the other times I had felt sick, where I had felt something that didn't really belong to me. There was that time in the Gym, where I could feel Bella's annoyance at having to play. That other time in the cafeteria, when Bella was afraid of the Cullens. Didn't I feel sick then too?

SMACK.

The ball hit me squarely on the temple, and it knocked me to the ground. My knees were burnt where they rubbed against the hard floor, and my head was pounding.

"Oops!" I could hear Jessica giggling on the other side of the court.

I knew I hadn't been paying attention, but her open nastiness was insulting. Where had this horrible girl come from? She had hidden her true nature in _Twilight_ really well. At least Lauren was two-faced to everyone.

I stood up. I was seething. "JESSICA STANLEY, YOU FUCKING BITCH." I yelled at her from across the court.

The smile on her face dropped. Coach Clapp looked across from the other court, and started making his way over.

Uh oh. I started to cover it up. I fluttered my fingers, and blew Jess a kiss. "You know I love you, babe!"

Coach Clapp shook his head, and turned away again. I bet he didn't want to concern himself with girl politics, but was happy to break up any sort of physical violence. I didn't blame him really. Girls were mean.

Jessica plastered on a fake smile. "Didn't mean to hit you, sweetie!"

At least she knew how to play girl politics…that was one good thing I could say about the cow.

It wasn't until I was getting changed that it occurred to me that Bella had the keys for the truck.

"Shit!" I threw my hairbrush across the locker room. How was I supposed to get home?

I got dressed quickly, pulling my parka on with the hood up. It looked like I was walking home; there was no way I was calling Charlie to tell him why Bella left school, and who took her home.

Muttering under my breath, I trudged through the slushy grass, made wet by the rain that was starting to fall harder. I kept watching my feet, trying not to slip.

I wasn't really noticing what was happening concentrating so hard that I wasn't watching ahead of me.

My head hit something hard, and my feet slipped out from under me, dumping me in a puddle.

"Fucking shit shit fuck." I struggled to get up. "I swear, one day I'm going to walk into one of you, and break my nose."

Rosalie smirked, and offered a hand. "You know, I can arrange that for you now if you want."

I reluctantly took her hand, and she hauled me to my feet. I turned around, trying to see the damage to my pants.

Rosalie shook her head. "It's not that bad."

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah whatever. What do you want, Rosalie? Here to scare the living daylights out of me? Threaten me with death?"

"If you're going to be that way, I won't give you the keys to your truck."

My eyes widened. "You have them?"

Rosalie pulled the keys out of her pocket, and swung them around on her finger. "Did you know your idiotic sister was going to try and drive home? Edward gave her a lift."

"Can I have the keys?"

Rosalie ignored me. "It didn't even occur to them that you were going to be stranded at school. Luckily for you, Alice called."

It stung that Bella had forgotten about me so quickly. The books went on and on about how much Bella _cared_ for her family, but she really was selfish when it came to Edward. I had always criticized her for abandoning Renee and Charlie for Edward so quickly, yet it hadn't even occurred to me that she would abandon me, too.

I sniffed, trying not to show my hurt. "Can…can I have the keys?"

She swung the keys around and around. "Alice was going to give them to you, but I said I would."

A traitor tear slid down my cheek. "Why? So you could rub it in that my sister already loves Edward more than me? Is that it?"

The keys stopped swinging. "Is that why you think I'm here?"

I wiped my cheek. "Why else? The only times you have ever spoken to me are to threaten me, or belittle me, or make me feel crap."

Rosalie flicked the keys at my feet. "You haven't exactly been nice, either."

I blinked, and with a gust of air, Rosalie was gone. I slowly bent to the ground and tried to pick up the keys, which were stuck firmly into the ground. It was lucky she had thrown them on the ground, not at me.

Wiping the mud onto my pants, I continued my journey to the truck. What on earth was that all about? It was probably the closest thing to a real conversation I had ever had with one of the Cullens. I hadn't felt intimidated, and I hadn't felt scared. Rosalie was supposed to hate Bella, and by extension, me. Giving me the keys to my truck was actually a nice thing to do; it didn't add up with the Rosalie I had built up in my head.

I started the truck, only stalling it once on my way out. I could hear Jessica and Lauren laughing by Lauren's car, and I gave them the finger. I drove home carefully, unused to driving in such wet conditions. _Bella is supposed to drive the truck, not me!_

After parking the truck, I ran into the house with my bag over my head. This stupid rain was really starting to get me down. The door slammed behind me, and Bella appeared at the top of the steps.

"Jen!" She stumbled down the first couple of stairs, looking upset. 'I'm sorry about leaving you stranded, I got sent home from school and Ed-"

I held up my hand. "Don't worry, Bella. It's okay. Edward gave Rosalie the keys to give to me, no harm done."

Bella frowned. "How did Edward get the keys?" She muttered something under her breath, and though I couldn't hear it, her thoughts were loud and clear in my brain.

_He must have used his powers…_

I snorted. "Yeah, powers. Sure."

She rolled her eyes, and I started towards the kitchen. "I'm starving. Do you want anything to eat?"

Bella came down the remaining stairs. "I'll have what you're having."

I shrugged. "Cool." I pulled some strawberries out of the fridge and started cutting them up. Being here in the AU was terrifying sometimes, but at least Bella bought pretty good food. Back home, I never had fruit on hand all the time.

I knew that today was the day to start putting my next plan into operation. It was the first time I was going to attempt anything that would change the storyline long term.

"Hey, Bella?"

She looked up from the newspaper that was sitting on the table. "Yes?"

"What're you reading at the moment?"

Bella rubbed her neck. "Not much really, I've been a bit distracted." _No kidding_. "I just finished _Pride and Prejudice._"

I had already known this, but it led me to my next step. "I have this awesome book that you will love. It's called _True Blood_."

"_True Blood_?" Bella said this slowly, like she didn't understand. "Your vampire book?"

I grinned. "Yeah. Mom sent me all my books through the mail, and they arrived a few weeks ago. I _know_ you will love_ True Blood_."

"I don't know, Jen. I've never really been into vampires…" Bella rubbed her head, looking apprehensive.

I laughed; she didn't know she was already into a vampire. "Just give it a try. Even if you don't like it, it'll give us something to talk about." We made eye contact, and I tried to look convincing. "Please…you said you wanted to reconnect…"

Bella smiled. "Okay, I'll read it. Where is it?"

I scooped some of the cut up strawberries into a bowl and passed them to Bella. "Top shelf of the bookcase. The first book is an omnibus, so it's the first three books in one. It's pretty addictive, I'm sure you will have it finished within a day."

Bella shook her head. "I doubt I'll like it, but I'll give it a try."

She took her bowl and headed upstairs. Internally, I was doing a victory dance. Bella was going to read _True Blood. _If I was truly honest with myself, the _True Blood_ series was potentially better than _Twilight_. No fades to black, more sex, more action.

The reason for making Bella read _True Blood _was simple; if she had already worked out Edward and his family were vampires, then she would have no reason to question Jacob at La Push beach on Saturday. If Bella didn't get all cosy and flirty with Jacob when trying to get information, she would never put the idea in his head that she was interested. If Bella never actually made friends with Jacob, then I could almost skip all of the drama in _Eclipse _all together. No dreaded love triangle, no imprinting. Jacob would remain that kid of Billy Black's that liked to play with cars.

It felt harsh to change what was one of the best things about the _Twilight_ series, as I had loved Jacob almost as much as Edward, but it was necessary. Jacob could not fall in love with Bella, and I had determined that this was the best way to avoid that. Poor Jacob didn't need to be sucked into this vampire mess any time soon. I was scared enough as it was, and Jacob was destined to become a werewolf which was much much scarier. He didn't need to be involved with Bella romantically. We could still be friends, but I had always thought that Bella's flirting was the catalyst for his crush. This universe was tough enough without another player in the "Edward and Bella" romance and I was determined to make things as easy as I could from now on.

I plopped myself down on the floor in front of the couch, spread out my homework on the coffee table, and began working on my English essay. After about ten minutes I gave up, pulling out the play and deciding to actually read the rest of _Macbeth_. My test results had proven that I had some serious catch up to do if I wanted to get a good grade.

An hour later, Bella came wandering down the stairs and into the living room in a bit of a daze.

"So, Sookie can read minds." It wasn't a question, but more like a statement.

I smiled – it was clear she had been reading _True Blood _like I asked. "Yes."

She frowned. "But Bill is a vampire?"

"Yes."

"And they drink synthetic blood."

"Well…" I wasn't sure if I should really tell her much more. "Charlaine Harris invented that for the sake of the story. I'm sure if vampires were real, they would have to drink real blood."

Bella nodded. "Okay."

I waved her away. "Keep reading! I don't want to ruin it for you."

Bella slowly turned and went back up the stairs. It was good to see that she was already making the right connections, but I was unsure if _True Blood _would do anything else aside from giving her ideas about vampires. Bill and Sookie did have a lot of sex; maybe Bella would put the pressure on earlier now? I made a mental note to myself to doubly instil the safe sex message. I didn't want any stupid frigging baby hybrids around here.

It was starting to get dark, and Bella still hadn't come back downstairs. My stomach was rumbling, and I knew that Charlie would be home any minute, expecting dinner. I decided to take action.

Bella had left some chicken breasts defrosting in the fridge, and I pulled that out. Frowning slightly, I started cutting it up into chunks, tossing them in a fry pan. I rooted around in the pantry and found a container with "RICE" neatly lettered across it. It must've been Bella's handwriting, because it was much too neat to be mine or Charlie's.

I filled a pot full of water, and tried to light the stove. I had no idea what I was doing, but I finally managed to get it going, despite the lingering smell of burnt hair. I put the pot on, and started looking for a sauce.

There were a couple of jars at the back of the pantry, one of which was labelled, "creamy chicken". It was the only one that sounded nice, so I grabbed it. I dipped my finger in the water, and deeming it hot enough, I tipped a few cupfuls of rice into it. I fired up another burner for the fry pan, and began browning the chicken. It seemed to keep sticking to the pan, so I grabbed some oil, and tipped a little in. It seemed to help with the sticking, and I tipped a bit more in. Okay, I may have drowned the chicken, but at least it wasn't sticking to the pan any more.

The door slammed, and I could hear Charlie in the hall, kicking off his shoes. I smiled, thinking how pleased they would be that I had cooked dinner.

Charlie came into the kitchen, and sniffed. "Bella? What are you cooking?"

I shook my head as I tipped the sauce in. "Nope, it's Jen, and I'm cooking."

Charlie's eyes widened. "Bella!" he yelled.

Bella came running down the stairs. "Sorry, I was reading-" She stopped. "Jen...what are you cooking?"

I grinned. "Chicken and rice. It's nearly finished, maybe you could set the table?"

Charlie opened his mouth to say something, but Bella glared at him. "Sure, Jen. Can't wait to taste it!"

I turned off both burners, and pulled out three plates. I tried to dish up the rice, but it still seemed pretty watery. I solved this really easily by draining the rice in a vegetable strainer, and I plated it up. It seemed to look like what Bella usually cooked. I then began to put the chicken on the rice. Some of it was pretty stuck, and I really had to dig at it to get it loose. I then spooned the sauce over the top.

Bella and Charlie were sitting at the table, and I brought the plates out to them. Bella was grinning, and this immediately made me suspicious. There were alarm bells in my head; Bella was faking it.

"Well, here's dinner. Enjoy!"

I watched as they both began to eat. Charlie grumbled under his breath, and took a forkful. He grimaced, and I knew that I had messed up big time.

Bella was chewing and chewing, and she didn't look like she particularly wanted to swallow. She took a big gulp of water, and forced it down. I could hear her thoughts.

_Yuck, yuck, yuck, yuck._

I bit my lip. "You don't like it?"

Charlie shook his head emphatically, while Bella tried to smile. "Jen, how did you cook the rice?"

"Just in the water when it got hot, then I strained it"

Bella frowned. "Was the water boiling? How long did you cook it for?"

"Of course it wasn't boiling! I didn't want to burn it!"

"Oh, God. What about the chicken? Where did you get the sauce from?"

I shrugged. "It was in the cupboard."

Charlie gagged. "Not the… Jen, that's been in there for years!"

"But…sauce doesn't go bad, does it?"

Bella sighed, "It does when it has cream in it." She turned to Charlie, "Why didn't you throw it out?"

Charlie shook his head. "I didn't think Jen would be cooking…ever. That was something your mom _promised _me when you two came to stay."

"So…my meal isn't good?" I blinked, trying to keep the tears away. This was just the icing on the cake – today had been the worst day in history.

Charlie pushed his chair back. "I'm gonna go get us some pizzas."

"I'll clean up," Bella said, gathering the plates.

Just like that, I was on my own. I put my head in my hands, and before I knew it, I was crying.

I always tried to put on this tough exterior, but in this world, I couldn't do anything right. Back in Melbourne, I was in control. Sure, life was crap, but I had control of that crap. I didn't know whether it was the vampires, or the new experience of having a family to consider, but I wasn't coping well.

The wind blew through the slightly open window, blowing the curtains around. Wiping my eyes, I got up to close it.

Much to my horror, the window wasn't open at all. _Those damn vampires_.

I leant my head against the glass, defeated. I couldn't fight everyone all the time. I couldn't make everyone happy. They were watching me, and I couldn't please Bella. I was hopeless.

"Jen?" Bella's call from the other room woke me up from my pessimistic inner monologue.

"Yeah?" With a final glance out into the rain, I turned and strode into the kitchen.

"You can clean this pan. You've completely burnt it out!"

I also couldn't cook, though in the greater scheme of things, it was hardly important at all.

* * *

Well, what did you think? Am I forgiven? Tell me what you thought! Jess x


	13. Chapter 13

Hello everyone! Yes, I've finally updated! I'm sorry to everyone who reviewed, I've been super busy and haven't had a chance to reply. BUT, I've written another chapter, so hopefully that will be enough to make you happy. Enjoy!

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Chapter 13: Gray

"Bella, Bella! Do you want shot gun?"

"Uh, I don't know, Mike. We'll see how many spaces there are."

I rolled my eyes at Bella's tactfulness. She was trying to avoid hurting Jessica's feelings, though Jess would have to have the brain of a gnat not to notice Mike's infatuation with Bella.

We were all at Newton's Olympic Outfitters, getting ready for the trip to La Push beach. Jessica and Lauren were gossiping by the van, and Mike was trying to chat Bella up. Tyler and Eric were at the corner of the store alternating swigs of Malibu, which was pretty stupid of them considering we were out in the open. I just hoped they didn't drink it all. Angela was standing by my side, quietly observing the group like I was.

The day after my big confrontation with the vampires had been pretty tame. Bella had driven to school, and I had gone to class. Rosalie ignored me, which was fine by me, and I didn't see Alice or Jasper hanging around like I had before. Perhaps they had been more careful? All I knew was that I hadn't seen them.

Edward had been away, and he wasn't in English. From memory, he was hunting with Emmett, and this was confirmed when there was just Alice, Jasper and Rosalie at lunch. I could see that they were talking, and they kept looking over at our table, but aside from that, no contact. It was such a turnaround from the day before that I was surprised, but relieved.

Charlie had made good on his promise to investigate a cell, and on Friday night he came home with an old Nokia phone and a prepaid SIM.

"I've pre-programmed my work number into it, so you can always contact me. I got you the card too, and it comes with forty dollars credit—"

That was when I attacked him with a gigantic hug. I couldn't believe how great Charlie was being to us. Bella did not appreciate him enough.

Once again, Bella moped. I don't know if she even noticed herself doing it, but she was a complete misery to be around. It was as if she zoned out of regular life, and went into a world where other people couldn't reach her. On more than one occasion I found myself clicking my fingers to get her attention.

Bella was still devouring the _True Blood_ books I had given her; she was already up to the third. I realized that I had called them _True Blood_, which was the name of the TV series-not the books, but luckily Bella hadn't spotted this. On Friday evening she came rushing into the living room.

"What's up, Bella?"

"Jen, Bill bit Sookie! He nearly killed her!"

I sighed. "That's what vampires do, Bella. They need blood."

"Oh." Bella frowned. "But then he raped her."

"Well, that's something that's not okay. No means no, Bella. You got that?"

Bella smirked. "Okay."

Aside from conversations about the books, she wasn't much fun. Bella kind of drifted around the house daydreaming, and on more than one occasion I had to click my fingers to get her attention. She was clearly obsessed by Edward and the puzzle his existence posed. I was beginning to understand why she never noticed the alcohol at La Push.

I wrinkled my nose as Tyler sauntered over to me. "Hey, Jen, want some Malibu?"

"Um, not right now. What're you mixing it with?"

Tyler scratched his head. "Mixing? You're supposed to mix it?"

I stopped myself from hitting my forehead with my hand. Not everyone was as experienced with hard liquor as I was.

"Did you bring some soda? Or even some cordial?"

Angela spoke up. "I think there's some Sprite in the Suburban."

I shook my head in disbelief. "Then we'll mix it with that." I wrenched the bottle out of Tyler's hands, a little shocked to feel that it was already only three-quarters full. "We'll save the rest for when we get there."

Tyler groaned. "Aw, Jen!"

"Zip it, you know I'm right."

Lee arrived with his mom's car and a few extra friends, so we were suddenly all squashing in. I ended up in the middle between Lauren and Angela, directly behind Jess in the front middle seat.

I balanced the bottle between my legs, keeping my hands free to try to comb my hair. The wind had whipped my hair around something shocking, and it was a tangled mess.

"Hey, Bella?"

She turned around in the front seat, straining to see me over Jessica's head.

"Yes, Jen?"

"Can you help me fix my hair when we get there? It's being ridiculous."

"Course." Bella turned back around and leaned out the window, effectively blocking the rest of us out. I rolled my eyes. If she kept this up, she would have no friends left.

We arrived and all tumbled out of the car. I took a moment to examine the scenery around me.

The beach was _wrong_. It was not a real beach. It was cold, windy, and the water was the awful color of gray. There was no sand. I pitied the young children who would have grown up here, unable to build sand castles or lie on the beach or do anything that most Aussie kids took for granted. In Australia, I had been a mere tram ride away from the beach, and I spent entire springs and summers down there. This beach was not one I wanted to return to. It wasn't hot or dry like it was supposed to be, and for the first time, I was grateful I had the experience of summer in Australia from my old life.

The boys started to collect driftwood to make a fire in a blackened fire pit not too far from the tree line. I found a log to sit on, and Bella brushed out and braided my hair in the same style she had hers. I still wasn't used to having such thick hair, and Bella was an expert at managing it. _Stupid body that doesn't belong to me!_

Bella talked while she worked. "Hey, Jen? What do you think it would be like if vampires were real? Would they be out in society, like in _True Blood_?"

I could feel her thoughts on the edge of my brain, whispering her curiosity. Bella was sounding me out, because she knew that I knew about the Cullens.

I tried to be nonchalant. "I don't think they would be. I mean, Bill and Eric and the others deal with a lot of crap from the humans. You could almost say they would be safer if no one knew at all."

Bella pulled a hair tie off her wrist and wrapped it around the end of the braid. "But that would get lonely. What if there was a way to live with the humans, as long as the humans didn't know?"

I turned and looked at her. "This is assuming they aren't traditional vampires, right?"

"Right."

I stood up and brushed the back of my jeans off. "It would depend on whether they wanted to live with the humans, or drink their blood."

I grabbed Bella's hand, and led her to where the boys were gathered around the fire pit.

Bella tried to protest. "But-"

I shook my head. "We'll talk later. I think they need help lighting the fire."

Mike stood up, his face screwed up in protest. "We do not! We're doing just fine!"

"Sure, okay. Hey, Yorkie, don't burn your eyebrows off. I want a date next week that doesn't look like a freak."

Eric grinned. "I'll do my best, Jen."

Mike came closer to us, almost _too_ close to Bella. I could sense her discomfort; he was right in her personal space.

"Have you ever seen a driftwood fire before?" Mike asked.

Bella shook her head, and we all sat down on the logs placed around the pit.

I tuned out of the conversation. Yeah, sure, wow the flames were blue. If anyone had paid attention in chemistry, they would know that. Heck, even I knew that, and I sucked at chem!

I got up and moved over to where Lauren and Tyler were sitting. They had found the bottle of Malibu I had stashed in the food bag, and were trying to pour it out into plastic cups. They were putting way too much into the cups, and I had to fix it.

"Hey! What're you doing?"

Lauren looked around nervously. "Shh...Bella might see, and she'll rat us out."

I snorted. "Yeah, right. Bella doesn't notice anything. You're pouring too much in. You only need about a fifth, then you top it up with the Sprite."

Tyler looked outraged. "But that's hardly anything!"

"It's enough-unless you want to be spewing in the rock pools. It's Malibu, that shit is nasty."

Lauren nodded. "Good point. Do you want a cup?"

I hesitated, looking over at Bella, who was patiently listening to Mike babble. Deeming it safe, I shrugged. "Sure, not too much though. I'm trying to cut back."

Lauren gave me a funny look, but poured it out regardless. She passed it to me, and I sipped at it, smacking my lips. It was awful, and the Sprite did not go well with the Malibu.

"Tyler, next time you buy alcohol, talk to me. Malibu is foul. Next time, get vodka, or even Midori. Midori goes better with Sprite.

Tyler was already pouring out another cup, after guzzling his first. I made a mental note to avoid sitting next to him on the car ride home; he was going to get messy.

Mike began to organize a group to go see the rock pools. Honestly, I think he felt left out from the other boys, but no one had forced him to be designated driver.

Not surprisingly, Bella decided to go with them. Her decision was made by Lauren, who was eyeing her suspiciously. I knew from the book that Bella thought Lauren hated her and sometimes she may have been right, but on this occasion, Lauren only wanted Bella to scram so we could get into the Malibu. I felt bad hiding the drinking from Bella; it seemed like something she would want to know about me. But it was something that Lauren had confided in me-a secret shared between friends. I felt like I fit in better because of it, and if I told Bella, I would be automatically excluded. Sometimes, I wondered if Edward would still fall in love with Bella if I corrupted her a little, and took her drinking or something. I didn't want to risk it though.

The rock pool group began their trip, and the small group of us that remained; Lauren, Jessica and myself, began to pour out some more Malibu. Angela sat quietly to the side, watching us. I could've offered her alcohol, but to be honest, I didn't want to drag her down with us. She didn't seem interested, and I wasn't going to press the issue.

Jessica wrinkled her nose. "God, this is awful. Who decided to buy this?"

I laughed. "Tyler. I did warn you though, Malibu is foul."

Lauren took a sip and shuddered. "You said it, Jen. What are we going to do about the dance?"

Holding my nose, I took a sip of the drink. "Ugh. I don't know. Are we talking dresses or booze?"

Lauren smiled. "Both. We were going to go shopping on Monday night for dresses."

I shook my head. "Make it Tuesday. I need time to beg some money off Charlie." Besides, Jessica would be going on a date on Monday night, if my memory served me correctly…

"Okay, sounds good. Now with the alcohol, I was going to say you should all come to mine to get ready, then we can swipe some stuff out of my mom's liquor cabinet." Lauren said.

I scoffed. "Your mom has a liquor cabinet?"

Lauren looked a little downcast. "Yes. Stupid drunk."

It was an awkward moment when I recognized some of myself in Lauren. Poor, oblivious Bella had never noticed that Lauren had some serious crap going on at home. I noticed though, because I had lived through the same thing.

I put my arm around her shoulder. "You know, we don't have to drink on Saturday. We don't have to drink now."

Lauren smiled sadly. "I know. I'm trying the drinking in moderation thing. Better to learn now when I'm sneaking alcohol, than when I can buy as much as I like."

Jessica coughed up the Malibu she had in her mouth. "When we can buy anything we like, we are _not_ buying Malibu."

I smiled. "Good idea, Lauren." Turning to Jessica, I said, "Malibu isn't that bad in cocktails. It's just a really awful mixer."

"You know what cocktails taste like?"

I looked up from my hands at Jessica and Lauren. Jessica's eyes were eager; she wanted to know what it was like to drink such fancy drinks. Lauren was wary, her lips pressed together. I could tell she wasn't happy. If her mom drank like mine did, then she would know that drinking cocktails at our age wasn't normal. That was the sign of a budding alcoholic.

I tried to act nonchalant. Shrugging, I said, "I snuck one at Renee and Phil's wedding. I think it had Malibu, because it tasted coconutty. It was much nicer than Malibu and lemonade."

Jessica raised an eyebrow. "Lemonade?"

I shook my head. "Sprite. Sorry."

It was a weird lapse, forgetting what the Americans called lemonade. I wasn't thinking straight today, but it was a decent enough excuse to divert Lauren. I didn't know how to talk to Lauren about her mom without revealing my own past. Renee wasn't an alcoholic, so there was no way I could 'relate' without giving everything away. I put the plastic cup down on the dirt.

"Ugh, and I'm done drinking this shit. Maybe Tyler will want it."

Lauren rolled her eyes. "Hooray. More booze for Tyler. Hey, I brought a CD player along, it's on batteries, so we can play it down here. Pick a CD."

She reached down beside her and pulled out a case of CDs. I flipped through it, cringing at all the old music. Finally, I found a band that had been popular after the early 2000s.

"Chuck this one on." I passed the CD across.

"Foo Fighters? Good choice."

She opened the top, and put the CD in.

Some of the rock pool group began to filter in, tired and a little damp from their explorations. I knew not to expect Bella any time soon; for all I knew she was wandering around in circles. She would find her way back eventually. The _Twilight _books said so.

Down the beach in the distance, a shadowy group began to make their way towards us. At first I didn't realize, distracted by Tyler guzzling down Jessica's discarded cups and mine, but they were the local Quileute boys. As they drew closer, their tan skin and dark hair were much easier to distinguish.

One of the boys seemed to be the leader as he walked a little ahead of the others. It was a bit of a stretch really, to call him a boy; he looked about twenty.

Mike and Ben, the first two boys back, waved at the guys, and one of the younger boys lifted his arm is a return greeting. I squinted my eyes, trying to make out the differences. _Which one was Jacob? Was he yummy yet?_

Finally, they were with us. "Hi girls, Mike, Ben. How are you?" The older guy seemed to be speaking for the others. There were five of them, ranging in ages.

Mike grinned. "Hey, Sam. Long time no see." He raised his fist and bumped it with Sam's.

Sam looked at the four of us girls. "You haven't been down in a while, I don't know everyone."

Mike rubbed his hair with his hand. "Oh yeah. My bad. Sorry girls." Pointing to Sam, he began the introductions. "Okay, this is Sam. He's the big chief around here." Sam smirked and aimed a swipe at Mike's arm.

"Shut up, you know it's true. Then we have Jared, Embry, Quil and Jacob." Mike pointed at each of them in turn. I was surprised to see that Jacob was the youngest looking one who had waved earlier. He wasn't hot yet; he wasn't mature yet. His face was smooth, round with baby fat. Jacob was grinning widely, almost bouncing on his toes. His enthusiasm was infectious, and I found myself grinning back at him.

Ben spoke up quietly from Angela's side. "And the girls, Mike?"

Mike hit his forehead. "Right, idiot, okay. This is Jen, Jessica, and Lauren. Then there's Angie over there, but she's taken."

Angela stuck her tongue out at Mike, and Ben kissed her on the cheek. _They were getting very cozy_. It was something much different to _Twilight_. Would my meddling change anything?

The final stragglers of the rock pool group filtered in, with Bella arriving about five minutes after Lee and Samantha. I was disappointed they didn't arrive later. I had really wanted to talk to Jacob before Bella came back. Would Bella still flirt for information? I had to hope she wouldn't need to after reading the books. It seemed like she had picked up the right ideas from _True Blood, _but I couldn't be sure.

I was really starting to worry about my plan to keep Jacob out of the loop. What if I failed in keeping Bella away from James? Potentially in the future, we would need the wolf pack's support in destroying Victoria, and even the newborn army if I really screwed up. I just had to make sure that their friendship stayed platonic, and that Bella didn't get any dumb ideas about flirting with a teenager two years younger than her.

As Bella approached, I got up and sat down next to Jacob. He looked at me with a smile on his face, eager to capture my attention.

"Bella! This is Jacob! You know, Jacob Black, Billy's son."

Bella sat down in the space I had previously occupied, and both her face and her mind whispered confusion.

_Billy Black?_

I rolled my eyes. "They sold Charlie our truck. Billy is Charlie's friend. Duh."

Jacob laughed, and Bella flushed red. She quickly turned her attention to Lauren and Tyler, who were pouring out more cups of Malibu. They quickly pretended to be fiddling with the CD player, Lauren turning so her back was blocking the bottle. Idiots.

"So, Jen, you and Bella are twins? What's it like to be a twin?" Jacob grinned down at me, his open face taking me off guard.

"Uh…" I looked over at Bella, who was now staring pensively at the churning ocean. "I don't know any different. I've been Bella's twin my whole life. We've always been there for each other."

It really didn't feel like a lie, saying those things. Something in my consciousness must have changed; I didn't feel like I was living in a fictional world anymore. My old life in Australia felt more and more like a dream, but Bella was real. Jacob was real. They were here in front of me, touchable, wanting my friendship and attention.

Jacob nodded his head. "I guess that's right. I never thought of it that way."

I noticed Bella staring at me with a small smile on her face, and I smiled back at her.

"You wouldn't have to. Speaking of siblings, how are Rebecca and Rachel?"

Jacob then launched into a brief rundown of his sisters, and what they were doing. I tried to pay attention, but my eyes kept wandering to Bella, who was trying to see what Lauren and Tyler were doing. The silly girl was bored, her mind was screaming it, and I knew I had to take action before we both found ourselves sitting alone at lunchtimes.

"Hey, Bella? Did you invite Edward Cullen? How come he isn't here?" I asked.

Bella's head whipped around, and her eyes were blazing. The rest of the group eagerly watched, interested to see hostility between us.

"Jen…" she said, her voice dangerously cold.

I shrugged. "Just curious."

Sam's ears had pricked up at the mention of Edward. "The Cullens?"

Lauren giggled. "Yeah, the Swan twins seem to attract them. Bella always has Edward following after her like a puppy dog, and then Jen is swatting them away with a baseball bat! That Rosalie Cullen, she is something nasty."

I felt my face burn. "She's not that bad."

Lauren scoffed. "Yeah, neither is AIDS. I'm telling you, those Cullens have a thing for you two, and not in a good way."

Sam's lips were tightly pressed together, and Bella was staring in a way that was almost rude. I decided to once again, cover for her lack of tact with a little rudeness of my own. I was her sister for Christ's sake! She would forgive me one day.

"Bella, how come Edward isn't here?"

"The Cullens don't come here." Sam's voice was quiet, but it rang across the babble of the others.

Bella's eyes lit up; this is what she wanted. Sam had unlocked another clue about the Cullens for Bella, and it was only a matter of time before Bella was Googling vampire myths.

Jacob nudged me. "Wanna go for a walk?"

I glanced at Bella. She had gotten up off the log, and was moving around to Sam's side of the campfire. I decided to let him field the questions for once, because God knew how many I'd had to fend off.

"Sure. It's getting a little cold. The exercise will do me good."

I rubbed my arms with my hands, suddenly reminded once again that beaches were supposed to be hot, not cold.

Jacob chuckled. "I don't know if there's enough exercise in the world to warm La Push beach up."

I stuck my tongue out at him. "Don't mock me! Beaches are supposed to be hot. This place is unnatural."

Jacob frowned. "You may be right about that." He looked back at the campfire, and I followed his line of sight. Sam had moved away from Bella, who was now watching our progress down the beach.

I sighed. "I bet she was grilling him about your local legends. That girl is too curious for her own good, I swear."

Jacob snorted. "We aren't supposed to tell you pale faces about our legends, you know!" He puffed out his chest. "Us Quileutes have secrets we can never divulge! We are an enlightened race, and you are unworthy of our knowledge."

I tried to shove Jake, but he didn't budge. "Shut up!"

"I'm physically and mentally stronger, what're you gonna do?" He grinned, and I realized that up close, Jacob was still pretty tall. While his face was round, his body wasn't chubby, and he definitely had the makings of a huge guy. I could definitely see his potential… and for the first time, I felt an attraction to a guy in this universe.

I took a step back, trying to move away from his warm body. Jacob gave me a funny look, and I shook my head.

"I don't want to fight you." I said quietly, and Jacob smiled.

"That's okay. I wasn't actually going to fight you." He reached over and pinched my cheek. "What's up?"

"Nothing," I said. I was terrified—even his touch gave me tingles. I wasn't supposed to be attracted to Jacob. He was two years younger than me! They may say that you can't choose who you are attracted to, but there were just too many reasons why I couldn't allow this.

I tried to act like nothing had happened. I playfully nudged him. "Come on, Jake, let's go back. I don't want my friends to think I'm a cradle robber."

He rolled his eyes. "Yep, you're such an old lady."

We started walking back to the others, and when we got there, Mike announced that we were about to leave to go back to Forks. Poor Bella looked confused, but I could see Tyler retching just beyond the tree line. Teenage idiots. Who sneaks Malibu to the beach?

Jacob punched me lightly on the shoulder, and I turned around.

"Excuse me? Violence against women, Australia says no!"

I covered my mouth in shock. What was I thinking? That was an Australian saying, I was such an idiot!

"You say the stupidest things, you know? I just wanted to see if you were gonna come and visit sometime soon?"

I shrugged. "Maybe. I'll come down next time Charlie goes to watch the game with Billy."

He raised an eyebrow. "You like football?"

"Sure, I'm still learning the rules, but it's great. We should definitely hang out sometime."

"Jen!" Bella was calling me from the edge of the beach. Somehow I had missed everyone getting up and leaving.

"I'm coming!" I yelled back.

I turned to Jake. "Definitely need to catch up again. I'll bring Bella too."

Jacob nodded. "Yeah, twins. Hot."

I laughed. "You're such a teenager. Bye, Jacob!"

He grinned. "Bye, Jen."

I jogged to catch up with the group, my heart racing. I don't know what I had done, but I was sure that things were going to be very different from the way Stephenie Meyer wrote them. I had a crush on a fifteen-year-old boy. Sure, it was better than having a crush on a hundred-and-four-year-old vampire, but it was still going to screw everything up.

I squashed into Mike's suburban, this time curled up between Bella and Lauren. Bella stared out the window, her body slightly shaking. I could feel the thoughts in her head swirling.

_Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God…_

Perhaps Sam had told Bella about the werewolf legends? I would have to quiz her later.

Lauren had her head pressed against the window, eyes closed. Her face was deathly pale, and already I could tell that she had over imbibed.

"Hey, Mike? Open the back right window, quick! Lauren doesn't look too good."

Lauren hung her head out the window the whole way home. I told Bella it was because Lauren was car sick, and she believed me. Observant my ass. The only time Bella was observant was when it was me doing something wrong, or one of the Cullens.

With Lauren settled, I leaned back in the seat, and got comfortable. I reached a hand up to my face, to feel where Jacob had pinched it. It still tingled a little bit, and I sighed. I was in big trouble.

* * *

What did you think? Were you expecting Jen to like Jacob? Will it turn out well?

On another note, I got a full time job, which is really exciting. It also means that I will be able to update more frequently, because as many of you may remember, I will be catching a train again. Two hours a day of writing? I'm bound to get some of this done! :D

Please review! Catch ya!


	14. Chapter 14

Hello everyone! I hope you have all had amazing holidays. I am so sorry it has taken me so long to post - I went on a beach holiday and couldn't access my email! Here it is now though, enjoy!

Thanks to flibbertigidget and lharkcom as always for making my work look pretty and fixing all my typos that I seem to make without noticing!

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Chapter 14 - Window

Mike dropped us all off back at his parents' shop, and we waved goodbye to each other. I was amused to see that Lee's minivan had vomit down the side of it, and Tyler was sitting on the front step of the building, looking very green and sorry for himself. I didn't envy Lee having to wash his mom's car. Tyler was an idiot.

Bella drove both of us home in silence. Her mind was buzzing, almost like a telephone call that had the sound turned down too low, so that the voices were indecipherable, but audible. I sighed and looked out the window, watching the unending trees whizz past us.

What was I going to do about my situation? I couldn't like Jake – not yet. It was too early, and Jacob was supposed to be a minor character for another twelve months. If I wanted to keep things as similar as possible to make things easier for myself, then Jacob Black had to stay out of the picture.

I bit my lip. Jacob was the only person I had met in the _Twilight_ world that wasn't stupid or irritating. He didn't want to kill me like the Cullens, he wasn't a complete douchebag like the people I hung out with at school, and he wasn't always sorry for me, like Bella and Charlie. Jacob thought I was funny, not weird. He liked my stupid little comments that didn't make sense. I felt an attraction to him, and though it was all kinds of wrong, it felt like something natural. It wasn't forced or fake; it wasn't the product of a borrowed memory or a forced friendship. It was _real_.

Bella pulled into the driveway and hopped out. I sat in the truck for a moment, breathing deeply through my nose.

Bella opened the passenger door and gave me a funny look.

"I'm just going to…uh, I need to…just, give me a…" she trailed off, and then turned and stumbled towards the house in a daze.

I unbuckled my seatbelt and slipped out the door Bella had left open. What was the deal with her?

When I entered the house, I couldn't see Bella anywhere. I decided she must have gone upstairs as I made my way into the kitchen. Rummaging around in the fridge, I found some leftover lasagne and popped it into the microwave. It was close to dinner, and I was starving. After my cooking episode earlier that week, Charlie had laid down the law about the kitchen and me. If any food required more than a microwave or a kettle to heat it up, I wasn't allowed to cook it. Apparently, the only person in the house with stove privileges was Bella, and I was happy to keep it that way.

I pulled the steaming dish from the microwave, cursing as I saw the splatters inside of it. I'd forgotten cling wrap. _Idiot!_

Sitting down at the table, I cut off a portion and shoved it in my mouth. It was only then that I realized I had forgotten Bella. Crap.

I dropped my fork and raced up the stairs to find Bella lying sprawled across our double bed, headphones over her ears, and eyes shut. As I closed the door behind me, Bella opened her eyes briefly, then shut them again.

I had to crawl across the bed to get to her, as our room was so tiny. I had a nagging memory in my brain, and I knew that I had to act on it.

I laid my head on Bella's stomach, curling up into a small ball at her side. Immediately, Bella dropped her hand down to my head. Pulling out the hair tie in my braid, she slowly unworked my hair from the plait. It was oddly soothing, and my memories told me that we had been comforting each other like this since we were little.

I closed my eyes and relaxed. Bella's fingers were gentle, and it was nice to be close to someone, even in a sisterly way.

Bella sighed. "I've missed this."

I nodded. "Yeah, I know what you mean."

Bella's fingers combed out my hair, lightly pulling at the knots. "We haven't been this close since…well, you know."

I grimaced. I still hadn't worked out what ominous event had happened back in that November, and it was driving my curiosity mad. I was so close to feigning memory loss and asking for a play-by-play rundown of what had happened, but I knew that it would ruin any credibility I ever had in the _Twilight _world.

Bella continued. "I wish you would tell me what happened. We… we just don't have the same trust anymore."

I rolled over so that I could see Bella's face. My instincts were telling me that there was more to this than my November incident.

"Bella-" I said, my voice shaking a little, "-what do you really want to know? The past is the past, it's finished, over. Neither of us can change what happened."

A tear slid down Bella's cheek, and she sniffed. I nudged her with my head.

"Bella…tell me. I'll-" I hesitated for a moment, "-I'll tell you what I know."

She suddenly sat up, spilling me into her lap. I rolled off her, and looked at her in surprise.

"What? I always said I'd tell you, didn't I?"

Bella's voice was agitated. "I never expected you to tell me now! I thought it was a secret you would keep forever!"

I smiled. "Relax, Bella. I was always going to tell you."

Bella lay back, and I settled into my comfortable curled up position. It was nice to be so close – it made me feel like our twin bond was stronger.

"Bella, tell me what Sam told you today. I want to know how much you know."

She sighed. "Sam told me about why the Cullens aren't allowed down at La Push. He was actually kind of rude about it. He said that the Cullens were a bunch of bloodsuckers, then he glared at me and turned away."

I mulled that over in my mind. I couldn't recall Stephenie Meyer detailing when Sam had first transformed into a werewolf, and there was a good chance it was still much too early. He was still hanging out with the regular Quileutes, and I wasn't sure if he would do that once he had turned into a werewolf. If he hadn't changed yet, he still wouldn't believe the legends, and wouldn't have much of a problem telling Bella.

"Jen," Bella interrupted my thoughts, "do you think Sam was right? About the Cullens?" I could hear her unspoken thoughts reverberating around the room.

_Even Edward?_

I bit my lip. I didn't want to have to disappoint her, and I really wanted her to come to the conclusion herself. Bella wasn't stupid, and just because I was around didn't mean she was incapable of working things out on her own.

"Bella, remember the book I gave you?" I asked.

"Yes…that was for a reason, wasn't it?"

I nodded against Bella's stomach. "Yes. Why do you think I would do that?"

"You wanted me to figure it out, I'm not stupid." Her words echoed my own thoughts from before, and I had a sudden, shocking idea. _What if Bella could hear my thoughts too?_

Bella continued. "I just don't know what you want me to do! The Cullens, they, they drink, they are…"

_Vampires._

Her conclusion in her thoughts was like a whisper, and I finally sat up and faced Bella.

"Yes."

Bella's brown eyes stared into mine, tears swimming in them. Did my face look the same?

Her lip trembled. "But, but they are so, and Edward is so…"

I nodded, trying to keep my voice steady. I didn't want to scare her, and I could feel her fear. "I know. It's scary, and it's not what you expected, but they are what they are."

Bella shuddered, and I lay back down on her stomach. Bella's hands were immediately in my hair again, but this time her fingers weren't soothing. They were agitated, twisting my hair into coils and knots.

I grimaced as she pulled on one stubborn knot. "Bella, can you please stop tying my hair in knots? I'll end up bald."

Her fingers relaxed. "Sorry."

We lay there in silence for another twenty minutes. I spent the time trying to come up with a plan of attack. Everything was going to change now; the majority of secrets I had been keeping were out of the bag. Bella knew about the vampires, and she knew I did too. It wouldn't be long before her and Edward talked, and once that happened, their romance would be off and running. I would only be needed to steer them past the obstacles I knew were coming; Edward's fear of killing her, the nomads at the baseball game, Jasper attacking Bella at her 18th birthday, Edward leaving Bella in the forest. You know, completely average and boring events.

Bella sniffed, and I turned to look at her. "Bella? Why are you crying?"

She wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. "I don't know. I'm scared."

I sat up and stretched, before scooting up so that I was next to her. "Bella, you're supposed to be scared. That's a normal reaction."

"Then why aren't you scared, Jen?" Bella asked.

I sighed. "I've known for longer. Don't you think I was scared when I worked it out?"

Bella smiled. "But you used to pick on Rosalie so much! I can't believe you did that, knowing what she was…what they all were."

I shrugged. "You know me, Bella. When I'm scared of something, I make fun of it. It can't hurt me if I'm being a bitch."

"True…" Bella trailed off, and stared out the window.

I rolled onto my back, and Bella laid her head on my stomach. I pulled out her hair tie, and tried to uncoil her braid.

"So, they're not human. Edward isn't human." Bella said.

"Mmhmm," I murmured, agreeing.

"And they're bloodsuckers, according to Sam. They've never eaten anything as far as I can see, but they can come to school without killing anyone… they can come out in the daytime, and it doesn't seem like they burn in the sunlight…"

I scoffed. "They aren't traditional vampires, Bella. I thought you would have worked that out."

Bella stiffened at the word 'vampire', and I realized it was the first time either of us had said it out loud. She relaxed after a minute, and continued.

"Right." Bella rolled over to look at me. "So how do you know about the Cullens?" she asked.

I groaned. I hadn't thought about how I would answer that one.

"I've read a lot of books, Bella. _True Blood _is just the tip of the iceberg. Have you ever heard of _The Vampire Diaries_?"

Bella shook her head, and I continued. "They're kind of old, anyway, from like nineteen-ninety, but they are about a vampire that goes to school, and meets a girl and falls in love with her…"

She frowned. "And you made the connection? When?"

"I started guessing straight away." I grinned. "You know how overactive my imagination is. Then there was the incident with the van. Bella, remember how I made you lie to Edward about how much I could remember? I was scared that he would work out what I knew, and I would be a sitting duck."

"Sitting duck?" Bella repeated. "As in, they would kill you?" Her voice shook at the end of the question.

I tried to make my hands reassuring as they stroked through Bella's hair. "I wouldn't worry, Bella. Edward won't kill you, and he won't let his family kill you. He-" I stopped myself from saying love, as it was pretty premature for that, "-he's attached to you. He likes your company."

I let her mull that one over for a while. I wondered what it would be like if Edward had chosen _me_ instead of Bella. What did Bella have that I didn't? A nasty little voice in my head said _'Her virginity? Her pride? Her innocence?' _I exhaled loudly. I didn't want a stupid vampire in love with me anyway.

Bella started shaking. "Bella, what's the matter? Don't be scared," I said.

"I'm not scared for me. I know Edward would never hurt me. I'm…I'm scared for you."

"For me?"

"You know too, don't you? And you don't have Edward's protection. I was remembering what happened last week at school, with the Cullens approaching you all the time…"

Bella sighed and stood up. "I'm going for a walk. I can't…I can't deal with all of this."

I nodded. "Okay. It's getting late though, so don't be too long."

"Dinner." Bella frowned. "Right. I think there's left over lasagne."

"Perfect." I smiled. "Bella?"

"Mmm?"

"Be careful, okay?"

Bella shook her head. "I'll try." She left the room, catching her toe on the edge of the stairs as she went.

I laid back and put my hands behind my head. Was it safe to let Bella go for a walk on her own? Would Edward be watching over her? Was he even back? I thought back to the saga, but couldn't remember how long Edward was away hunting for, and the realization shocked me. I was losing track of the timeline—forgetting things. I hadn't counted on that. What if I forgot something important? I quickly ran through what I was sure of. The dance was in a week, which meant the nomads would be in town very soon, if not already. It also meant that it was a week until the meadow, where Edward and Bella were supposed to kiss for the first time. One week. But I couldn't remember if it was two or three days that Edward was away hunting for. So far it seemed it was only little details I was forgetting, but sometimes little things can be important—and what if I started to forget the big stuff? I was so screwed.

I reached under the mattress, and pulled out my old purple diary. I hadn't written in it the entire time I had been in Forks – I had been too self-conscious to be completely honest in it, and too scared that Bella would read it. Opening the front cover, I pulled out the printed page that was slipped inside.

_FINAL BODY IDENTIFIED IN SPRINGVALE TRAIN DISASTER_

I shivered. So much had changed since I had read that article. I was still new to the _Twilight_ world, I was still learning about my new sister, my memories. I was still learning how to cope with the Cullens. I still…I still thought that one day I would be going back to Melbourne. That idea had definitely changed.

I ran my finger across the young girl's face on the page, and I was shocked to realize that I didn't think of her as me. Jennifer Porter and Jen Swan were two completely different people now. My mum felt like a blurry haze in the past, and yet I could picture Renee in my mind's eye. My lip trembled. _What was wrong with me? Wasn't this what I wanted?_

Back home my crazy world was filled with uncertainty, but at least it was manageable. The confusing world of vampires and werewolves was not manageable at all; not by a weak little human like me, anyhow. I flexed my left arm, remembering the car accident back in January. While it appeared like my arm had healed as good as new, I could see a slight curve to my arm, and feel a small click when I straightened it. I was lucky that I had only injured my arm. What if I had punctured a lung? Or bled from my head? Edward would have been on me in an instant and I would be dead.

I traced my finger along Jennifer Porter's straight, blonde hair, trying to decide if I had really gotten a better deal by being inserted into _Twilight_. If everything went well, and Bella was turned by Edward and ran off into the sunset, what would be left for me? A life condemned to Forks, living with an ageing Charlie, marrying some dimwit like Mike or Tyler and spending my life cleaning up after four kids, who in turn would be condemned to Forks. Is that what I wanted from my time in _Twilight_?

Then I thought of Jacob, and I smiled. If I could prevent Bella from having a baby, Jacob would always be there. I remembered the way Jake had teased me and made me laugh. I didn't feel like I was talking down to an idiot, like I did with the other kids in school. Jacob and I were equals, sort of.

I knew it was early days, and heck, I'd only met the kid once, but it was nice to have an option that I wouldn't say no to. I knew Jacob was a good guy from the book; he even offered to give Bella babies! A relationship was something I would definitely explore…

There was a loud slam as Charlie stomped in the door. I flipped the book shut and slid it back under the mattress before flitting down the stairs.

"Hi, Dad."

"Jen…" Charlie frowned at me. "You haven't been cooking, have you?"

"No, sir!" I saluted him. "I would never disobey orders! I only used the microwave, sir!"

His face relaxed. "Good." Charlie reached out and ruffled my messy hair. "Did you have fun at La Push today?"

I shrugged, walking into the kitchen. Charlie followed close behind.

"What's that supposed to mean, Jenny? I don't speak teenager," he said.

I opened the fridge. "Did you want some lasagne?"

Charlie sat down with a huff. "Please. Can you grab me a beer, too?"

"Sure." I scooped out a hunk of lasagne, ignoring Charlie's grimace, and slid it onto a plate. I opened the microwave door, and pushed the plate in.

"Well?" Charlie asked, "Did you have fun with your friends? Meet anybody new?"

I spun around. "Daaaaaad, you've been talking to Billy, haven't you?"

Charlie immediately looked sheepish. "Well, you can't blame a – look, I just want to know if you got along with Jacob."

I could feel a tell-tale blush creep up my cheeks, and I turned back to the microwave to hide it. "Jake was cool. I liked him."

"Just liked? You kids all used to play together when you were little."

I ignored this random statement. "You really want to know? Oh, Dad, he's so dreamy. Jacob Black is just so sexy, and I really hope he'll be my boyfriend," I said sarcastically.

Charlie sat up. "Boyfriend? Who said anything about you having a boyfriend?"

I wandered to the fridge and pulled out a beer. "Relax, Dad. He's just fifteen. No boyfriends for me, remember?"

Charlie muttered something that sounded like "good", and I rolled my eyes.

Passing him the beer, I said, "I'm going out to look for Bella. She went for a walk a little while ago, and I'm sure she's lost track of the time again."

He sighed. "Typical. Come straight back, Jen, I don't like you girls being out in the forest so late."

I shivered. "I'm not arguing with you there, Dad."

I left Charlie with his dinner, grabbing my giant coat on the way out. I noticed that Bella's was still hanging on the hook, and on a whim, grabbed hers too. It was probably freezing out there.

As I was about to step out the door, I heard my name called from the living room.

"Jen?"

I wheeled around and looked into the room. Bella was sitting curled up on the couch with a book balanced on her knee.

"Where were you going?" she asked.

I shrugged. "I thought you'd gone on a walk. I was going to go get you."

Bella rolled her eyes. "Have you seen how cold and dark it is? I changed my mind."

"I don't blame you there."

I returned our coats to the hook, and kicked off my boots. Secretly, I was relieved that I didn't have to go looking for her in the forest. I knew what kind of creatures lurked out there.

The rest of the weekend dragged. Bella spent that night tossing and turning, muttering and crying out. It was beyond annoying, and I made the decision very quickly to hide down stairs on the couch again. I was fairly sure that Edward wasn't supposed to be back yet, but either way, I wanted a good night's sleep.

Bella slept for much longer than I remembered from the book. I had been certain that she would be up and about before six, and had gotten up in anticipation. But six came and went. Charlie was long gone fishing, and I had chores to do, so I started those while I waited. I was sorting the laundry at around nine when I heard a loud crash from the room above.

I smiled to myself, but I was still worried. Would Bella still cope with the idea of vampires the same calm way she did in _Twilight_? Would I have a babbling, bawling mess to deal with soon? Or would things go on as normal?

Bella appeared at the door, bleary-eyed, and still wearing her clothes from the night before.

I grinned. "Kitchen's that way, Bella."

She groaned and stumbled away. I think it was safe to say that she had had a bad night, and I could only hope that she was beginning to sort things out.

I continued my chores that had been put off much too long. Bella set herself up on the computer, and I giggled at the sound of the modem dialling up. I should have invented broadband; it would make me a fortune.

It was a relief to know that Bella was still following the timeline, still following the plan, albeit roughly. If she found out more about vampires, I would be happy. The changes I was going for were long-term changes. It would have been too easy to tell Bella about the vampires the first day of school. Would she have believed me? Yes. Would she have formed a relationship and connection with Edward? Probably not. I had to get Bella to the point where she could love a vampire without wanting to make babies with him, while also preventing her from swinging to the other end of the spectrum and want nothing to do with him.

Bella went for a walk, and I took the opportunity to do a rough vacuum. In reality, the three of us didn't make that much mess. I was convinced that I had the better of the cooking and cleaning jobs.

After I finished vacuuming, I hung out a basket of washing on our old, rarely used line, taking advantage of the weak sunlight. I then began work on my stupid Macbeth essay.

Bella returned a few hours later with a serene smile on her face. I grumbled under my breath.

"How is it that you can be so calm, when we have this ridiculous essay to write?" I asked crankily.

She smiled. "It's not that bad. I can help you if you want."

"Yes, please." I quickly replied.

Before I knew, Bella had settled down next to me at the table, quickly constructing a plan for my essay. My topic somehow changed from the stupidity of the characters to the guilt they feel over the killings.

"But, Bella! They're complete idiots! They can't honestly believe that they can kill a King and just live happily ever after!"

Bella sighed. "Have you even read the end of the play? They don't live happily ever after! You can't write about how stupid the characters are. You have to be able to back it up. Now, find some quotes while I grab my study notes."

We worked side by side at the kitchen table for the rest of the afternoon, Bella making progress in leaps and bounds, while I was still stuck on paragraph two.

"Lucky we aren't going shopping until Tuesday," I grumbled, "I need tomorrow night to finish this essay."

Bella finally finished her essay, dashing upstairs to quickly type it up before dinner. I knew that I would be working on it the night after, but it didn't bother me. There would come a time when we would work on maths together and I would get to feel like the smart twin. It was just the way things worked.

The rest of the evening went quickly, and by the time we were getting ready for bed, the tension emanating from Bella was electric. As she dressed, she was almost hopping from one foot to the other, unable to keep still.

"Bella, you know that he won't be at school tomorrow." I said.

Bella froze mid step. "What do you mean?"

"I'm just warning you. He won't be there tomorrow or the day after."

Bella resumed getting ready for bed. "Sure, whatever. How could you know?"

I sighed, and tapped my skull. "I'm psychic. Just…just don't be too disappointed."

Bella shook her head in disbelief, and pulled back the covers. I reluctantly hopped into the bed, knowing that I would be pinching myself awake for a while, so that I wouldn't fall asleep. Stupid, voyeuristic vampire.

I wondered if I talked in my sleep like Bella, and I sincerely hoped I didn't. I had too many secrets I was keeping.

After half an hour, Bella's breathing slowed, and I quietly snuck out of the room.

On my way, I plugged in our mobile phone to charge up in the kitchen. It was a foul looking Motorola Jazz that weighed like a brick, but it was going to be important for the upcoming Port Angeles trip, which was only two days away. My insides fluttered, and I felt sicker than I did the day I was hit by a van…vampire. Same difference.

The couch was already made up with pillows and blankets when I entered the living room, and I felt a surge of gratitude towards Charlie. Little thoughtful things like that made it hard to remember my life back in Australia. Why would I want to remember my life with a drunken mother, when I had a caring father right here?

I punched the pillow a few times to get some shape back into it, and curled myself up into a ball.

A cold breeze tickled my cheek, and I realized that the window had been left open. With a sigh, I threw back the blanket and groped through the dark to the front window. I quietly slid it shut, and just for extra caution, turned the key in the lock.

"Stupid vampires," I muttered as I hopped back onto the couch, willing myself to sleep.

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Please review and let me know what you think. I really am doing my best to update quickly and I appreciate all your feedback.


	15. Chapter 15

Hello everyone! Once again, it has been a while... but I come bearing gifts! An extra long chapter!

Thanks to lharkcom and flibbertigidget for betaing this chapter so quickly. I couldn't do it without you!

Enjoy everyone!

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Chapter 15: Dress

"Alright, turn around, Jess, let me see it from the back."

Jessica bit her lip and anxiously turned around, craning her neck to try and see the back of her dress.

I grinned. "Looks good. You wouldn't have to buy a special bra with that one."

Jessica sighed with relief. "Okay. I'll try on the next one?"

"Go for it."

Behind me, I could hear Bella sighing. I turned around. "What is it, Bella?"

She avoided eye contact with me. "Nothing."

Unfortunately for her, I could hear her thoughts clear as day in my head.

_I wonder where Edward is._

It was my turn to roll my eyes and be bored. Bella had done nothing but mope about Edward for the last two days.

On Monday morning Bella had been chirpy and cheerful, bouncing around the house, carrying on about the sunshine. I myself had been grumpy and tired after a bad night's sleep worrying about vampires.

We had gotten to school, and Bella had been only a little disheartened when the Cullens' car wasn't there. She had bounced back quite quickly, and spent most of the walk into the building babbling rapidly. I encouraged it; she was just too mopey without Edward around.

As I had expected, in math I had the whole desk to myself, and took the liberty of spreading all my pens, pencils and books across the two desks. Rosalie wasn't there to complain, right?

I had been on my own in English as well—and, once again, spread out all of my books. It was quite liberating to be able to learn without a vampire next to me. I would have to remember that when it came to choosing classes next semester. _Next semester? Would I even be here next semester?_

At lunchtime, Bella was a little subdued, and she kept casting glances towards the Cullens' empty table. I made an extra effort to include her, I admit, and I tried to be animated enough for both of us.

By the time gym came around, Bella was just depressing. I decided to ignore her, just for the rest of the afternoon. Her bad mood was slowly ruining my good mood, and I did not like that at all.

Bella was silent on the way home, and hardly responded to my questions about her day. When she pulled into the driveway, I decided it was time to do something.

"Bella! Hang on."

Bella stopped gathering her things. "What is it?"

"Why are you in such a bad mood?"

She sighed, and stared at the clear blue sky outside. "I don't know."

I groaned. "Bella! Do you realize how depressing you are to be around when Edward isn't here?"

Bella turned around. 'What?"

I shifted in my seat so I could put my hands on her shoulders. "You aren't even trying that hard, but the second you realized Edward wasn't here, you became so depressed. It's embarrassing, Bella. How old are you? Can you not survive a few days without him?"

Bella bit her lip. "I'm that bad, huh?"

I nodded. "Yes. How long have you known this guy? Is it so ridiculous for him to have a few days off without you turning into a zombie?"

"I guess not. I'm sorry, Jen."

I shook her shoulders a bit. "You crazy girl. You've gone all stalker on him."

Bella giggled. "I know; it's pathetic. Next thing you know, I'll be hanging around his house at night, throwing stones at his windows."

I went along with her joke. "And I'll be there trying to drag you away, reminding you of your restraining order."

She grinned. "Of course you'd be there, Jen. You'd be distracting the others, so that I could sneak into Edward's room and watch him sleep."

I blanched. _How would she take the information about the Cullens' sleeping habits? Their diets?_

"Let's go dump our stuff, then sit outside for a while. I want to soak up this sunshine while it's here." Bella hopped out of the car and went inside, fumbling with the house keys.

Just like that, Bella's mood had changed. She was happy enough and cheerful again, purely because I had told her to be.

We sat outside on a picnic rug and gossiped a little about school. I filled Bella in on everything I had learnt on the weekend at La Push.

"They… they had Malibu there? How did they get that?"

I giggled. "Tyler's brother bought it. Honestly, Bella, did you really think Tyler was car sick?"

She smiled and shook her head. "I really am out of it sometimes, aren't I?"

I shook my head. "You really are."

Bella blinked and looked away awkwardly. "You…you didn't have any of the Malibu, did you, Jen?"

I looked down at my hands. I knew what she was getting at.

"A little," I admitted.

Bella exhaled loudly and looked up at me. I was shocked to see that her eyes were filled with tears.

"You aren't going to start…you know what… again?" Her voice trembled, and I felt awful.

I slowly shook my head. "No."

"Then why-"

"I was just trying to fit in, Bella. I wasn't getting smashed. I wasn't vomiting. The Malibu was disgusting and after half a cup I didn't want any more."

"Oh." Bella looked a little relieved. "I was just worrying that you were going to fall back into old habits. I don't think Charlie would stand for your drinking."

_Drinking? _"Was I really that bad before?"

"Before the accident, yes." Bella swallowed and looked off towards the tree line.

Suddenly it didn't feel warm outside, it felt cool and wet, despite the sunshine. _Accident? _I was in a freaking accident? Why would no one bring it up before now? What kind of accident? I would assume a car accident, but no one had told me anything. My heart felt as though it was thumping outside my chest, and I tried to calm my breathing.

"Sorry, Bella. I'm going inside. I still need to finish that stupid English essay."

"No problem," Bella said, waving her book at me.

Once I was inside, I started hyperventilating. An accident. I was in an accident.

My mind wouldn't stop asking questions. Was it a big accident? Was I seriously injured? Broken bones? Why had no one mentioned it?

A flicker of doubt tickled my mind, and I looked out the window at Bella. As my eyes locked onto her, I heard the words she hadn't said.

_Well, that got a reaction. It must have been a car accident. I'll have to ask her more about it later._

That sneaky girl. It may not have been a car accident at all. She was just fishing for information, seeing if I would react and give her a clue. Bella knew as little as I did. There was no point in quizzing Bella on what had happened, because she knew nothing. It was a dead end.

I groaned and marched up the stairs, determined to smash out that essay as quickly as possible. Looking out the window, I could see Bella napping on the grass, her face turned up to the sky. I moved my chair away and resolved not to look out the window anymore. Edward was probably out there.

The next day went fairly quickly. I knew that the shopping trip in Port Angeles had the potential to go completely to plan, or go completely horribly. All I needed to do was make sure Bella stayed with me, at all times. No walking off on her own. It sounded silly, but who was I to assume that Edward would be making the exact same decisions as the first time around? There was no guarantee that he would even be following Bella. The consequences of Bella walking off on her own without Edward were unforgiveable, and I was not willing to risk Bella's life just hoping that Edward would be around to save her. They could talk any other time; I just didn't want Bella to have to go through a near rape experience to get that.

After school, we rushed home and grabbed our purses.

"Bella, make sure you grab your jacket!"

"I have it, Mom!" she grumbled.

It was funny how our roles had slowly reversed. Once upon a time, it would have been Bella yelling at me to grab my jacket. Hell, only a few months ago she would have been making sure my shoelaces were tied and holding my hand to cross the street. It was a good thing I was used to being independent from my old life, because now that Edward was in the picture, Bella had turned into the teenager I always knew she was. I was no longer priority number one to Bella. Was this a good thing? I spent more of my time looking after Bella than I spent on myself. A distant memory of a blonde girl at a train station reminded me that I had promised to look after Bella, if I should have the chance.

Soon we were in the car with Jessica and Angela, and on our way to Port Angeles.

I wondered where Lauren was, and Angela just gave me a knowing look. It seemed as though Lauren had some family issues going on today, and Bella wasn't allowed to know. I felt bad for Lauren, knowing what it was like to have an alcoholic mother, to cancel plans because your Mum is sick, to avoid telling friends outside your inner circle for fear of being judged. I resolved to try to help Lauren more with her issues with her mom.

It was great talking about boys and everything in the car; it was nice to have a girls night out. Bella actually joined in the conversation, and it was good to see that she had taken my words to heart. She really had turned into a creepy stalker, and she had probably realized that not seeing Edward for a few days wasn't the end of the world. Maybe she was even actually enjoying the girls' night as much as I was?

It didn't seem long before we were in Port Angeles, trying on dresses.

"What do you think, Jen?"

"Bella, what color? Blue or pink?"

After an hour of these inane questions, Bella had had enough. I could tell by the way she sighed every time they wanted to go back and try a dress on 'just to be sure', and the way she tapped her fingers against the chair.

I desperately wanted to try on dresses myself, but I was too afraid to leave Bella on her own. My plan was to wait until the other girls had chosen their dresses then demand that they all help me. Bella couldn't slip off without saying anything if Jess and Angela were right there. Besides, there were only two cubicles. It was just easier that way.

Finally, Jess and Angela were decided, and I eagerly grabbed the pile of dresses I had collected to try on.

"I really need all of your help on this one, girls. I've never been to a dance before."

"Are you serious?" Jessica exclaimed, "How could you not!"

I shrugged. "I wasn't a fan of going on my own."

Bella gave me a little smile. My memories were telling me that we had boycotted a number of dances in freshman and sophomore year. If one twin didn't get asked to the dance, the other didn't go. Well, this year was the time to change.

"Are you sure you don't want to come this time, Bella?" I asked.

"No thanks," she said, "I have plans."

I rolled my eyes. _Edward plans._

Stepping into the dressing room, I began trying on dresses. The first was a canary yellow satin dress that dropped straight from my bust, emphasizing my boobs.

Bella was shaking her head the minute I stepped out, and Angela grimaced.

"Sweetie, I don't think yellow is your color," she said.

I shrugged. "That's what I thought."

While I had the dress over my head, I heard Bella call out.

"Jen, I'm just going to go look for a bookstore, okay? I'll meet you at dinner."

I twisted and struggled with the dress, trying to get it off my head. "No! Bella! I mean, wait for me! I'll come with you in like, ten minutes!"

I heard her sigh and flop back onto the chair. "Fine."

After a few more dresses, I was beginning to feel dejected. None of the dresses particularly flattered me, and it left me feeling like a bloated whale.

With only one dress left from my pile, I was pinning all my hopes on the pale pink lace dress in my hands. I had left it until last, as I was worried that the lace would look old fashioned, but at this stage, I was grasping at straws.

It was like magic. The dress fit snugly on my body, the lace overlay emphasizing my waist. Just below my hips the dress flowed outwards, with chiffon floaty bits that swished around as I turned in front of the mirror. I felt both pretty and sexy at the same time.

"I think I have the dress I'm wearing!" I called out, unlocking the door and stepping out.

To my shock, there was no one in the changing room. No one.

"Bella?" I called frantically, whipping my head around. "Angela?"

Angela stuck her head around the corner. "Yeah, Jen? Oh my god, that's the dress."

I waved her off. "Yeah, I know, right? Where did Bella go?"

She shrugged. "She said something about going to a bookstore. She was going to wait, but she thought you had heaps more dresses to try on. We can go down and catch up, if you really want. I was just looking at jewellery, and Jess went to try on shoes…"

While Angela was saying this, I had already raced back into the change room, pulling the dress over my head and changing frantically.

I had to get to Bella.

Finally jamming my feet into my sneakers, I bolted out of the store, calling back to Angela, "See you at dinner!" as I raced out onto the street. I had figured Bella would be safe, but me having to choose a dress myself had made it worse. Now, Bella had left, and I had no idea how to find her.

Looking around, I set off down the street, trying to work out which way Bella would have gone. In the car, Jessica had said the bookstore was a few blocks south of the dress shop, so I was aiming that way. Hopefully, I would catch up to her before she reached the shop.

Not content with a quick walk, I settled into a jog, whipping past shoppers on the street with my eyes searching in front of me. I had to catch Bella soon. Once she left that shop, I had no idea where she would go. I didn't have the book to give me directions!

There was no sight of Bella up ahead, and I was starting to panic. I finally came upon the shop Jessica had talked about, and Bella was nowhere to be seen. I quickly raced inside the store.

'Have you seen my sister?" I asked in a rush.

"Sister?" The old lady asked, "Are you a twin? She was at my window before, but then she went in that direction." The lady pointed further down the street.

The lady continued rambling on, but I just said thank you, and dashed out.

I had no idea where to look. I didn't know Port Angeles at all, and I couldn't remember the directions that were written in _Twilight_. Panicked, I set off down the street again. The sun was beginning to set, casting shadows across the pavement. It wouldn't be long before it was dark, and I definitely knew that Bella would be running into the men soon.

A flash of a memory jolted my mind, and it pulled me up sharply.

_Bella was walking down the street, looking at the sky. The clouds were already rolling in…it looked like the days of sunshine were over…_

I gasped. What was that? It wasn't from my mind; the film had shot the scene differently, and it didn't look the way I had imagined it as I read the _Twilight_ book…

_The set of shops up ahead looked promising, but as Bella neared, she realized that they were just a repair shop and an empty front._

My head snapped up. That wasn't a memory. That was Bella _right now_. I closed my eyes, willing more to come. I screwed up my face, trying to find more. Why wouldn't it come now when I wanted it to?

_Bella was walking past a group of men._

"_Hi, there," one of them said._

"_Hi," Bella responded, blushing. She ducked her head, and walked a bit faster, passing a dilapidated convenience store._

"_Hey, wait!" he called out._

My mouth dropped. Bella was near a repair store and a convenience store. I didn't know where these places were, and I had to find someone who could. Jessica and Angela were too far away; they'd never get here in time. I could waste precious minutes running around, getting lost and potentially putting myself in the path of the dangerous men, or I could put blind faith in the one person that had so far never failed to disappoint.

"Edward!" I shouted as loud as I could, drawing the attention of the shoppers on the street. I tried again. "Edward!"

I couldn't afford to waste time, so I started marching down the street yelling out his name, hoping beyond hope that Edward was around. It was time for desperate action. I couldn't be sure how much time I had to get to Bella, and I wasn't sure about my vision. What if they were delayed? What if it wasn't a direct feed? What if it had all already happened, and I would have to watch Bella's last moments in sick, horrifying detail? In the book, Edward almost doesn't make it in time…

A silver Volvo screeching to halt in front of me interrupted this terrible thought. It only took a second to register what was happening in front of me. Edward had followed Bella, and he had heard my yells.

The passenger door was thrown open, and I jumped inside the car to meet an irate Edward.

"Bella!" he seethed, "What do you think you're doing out here-"

I cut him off. "It's Jen! Bella is in danger. She's near a repair store and a convenience store."

Edward didn't even need a second to react. The car was in gear again, reversing back and into the road.

"Ring her! She has the cell!" I gasped, finally remembering the one plan I had made in case of failure.

Edward passed me his phone, and I quickly dialled in our number. It rang, and rang, and rang, but she didn't pick up. Frustrated, I threw the phone into the centre console.

I could see the shop fronts in the distance, and Edward turned to me frantically.

"She's not there!"

I closed my eyes and tried to get into Bella's head. "Where are you?" I thought angrily. At the same time I was begging her to be safe. _I can't lose you yet._

Suddenly it came to me. "Left," I demanded, and the car swung suddenly left.

It was easier with my eyes closed, and I could see Bella walking down the road. Bella was only just beginning to realize her mistake. There was no bookstore in the area where she was walking.

"Right," I said, and the car swung again. Edward suddenly swore, and my eyes snapped open.

"What is it?"

He hissed. "I don't need directions now, Jenny. I know where to go."

Edward's dangerous tone struck panic into my heart. I knew what he was hearing; he could hear the men's thoughts. They had seen Bella, and they were targeting her. They wanted her.

_Bella looked behind her, noticing two men following her. Picking up her pace, she quickly walked down the street, desperate to get to the main road._

I choked and gripped the door handle tightly. "Quick, quick!" I urged.

_Bella was stumbling across the street. Her vision was hazy, and she felt sick. A group of men approached her, and one grabbed her arm, pulling her away…_

"No! We're too late!" I screamed. She was going to die. Bella was going to die, and it was my fault entirely.

_Bella skipped across the driveway, realizing it wasn't a street at all. She crossed the street rapidly and turned towards an alley. She hesitated. There were two men down there…_

I gasped. That wasn't right. A second ago I had seen Bella getting attacked…

Edward cursed again. "Jenny, what the hell is wrong?"

"I…" I struggled to continue the sentence, "I could see Bella…"

We swung around one final corner, nearly running over the two men who had been following Bella. Thankfully, Bella was still pausing at the alley. Bella was only just beginning to comprehend how dangerous her situation was, but she thankfully hadn't entered the alley yet. She hadn't talked to the men yet. They hadn't attacked her. We were in time.

Bella's eyes widened as she took in the car. I undid my seat belt, scrambling to get in the back seat, as Edward reached across and threw open the passenger door.

"Get in the car, Bella," he commanded.

Bella didn't need to be told twice. She practically leapt into the car and struggled to close the door, as Edward threw the car into reverse and backed out of the narrow street.

From where I was sitting I could see Edward's hands gripping the steering wheel, knuckles stretched thin. Bella was taking deep breaths, and her thoughts seemed surprisingly calm.

_That was a close one._

I, however, was having some sort of breakdown. I could feel my chest seizing up, and I choked and gasped for air.

"Jen?" Bella whipped her head around. "What are you doing here?"

"She was trying to find you," Edward said, his teeth gritted, "as was I."

Bella's brow furrowed, and she looked at me again. "Jen?"

"You could have died," I said, feeling my voice tremble, "You nearly died! I saw them grab you, and I thought we were too late and it was all my fault, and, and-" Panic overtook me, and my eyes welled with tears.

"Is she okay?" Bella asked through a dark tunnel. _Why couldn't I hear her right? _"What happened to her?"

Edward's voice came from down a long tunnel too. "She's going into shock."

I opened and closed my mouth, trying to get out the important words in my head. "I saw…attack! Bella was attacked! But she wasn't, she's here-" I reached forward and searched for her hand.

Her hand found mine and gripped it tightly. "I'm here, Jenny, I'm fine. Don't panic."

The use of my nickname lifted my panic somehow. Bella was so calm, so sure. She was right here with me, and she wasn't going anywhere. I took a shaky breath and squeezed Bella's hand back.

"Jenny," Edward's smooth voice rang throughout the car, "Please put on your seat belt. We are going to get you two some food, then I'll take you both home."

My hand shaking, I reached across my shoulder and pulled the belt across. Edward's command made it easier to think. For once, it was great not to have to choose anything. The scary decisions were taken away, and along with them the consequences.

I sighed and laid back, closing my eyes. I suddenly felt a bit cold, and I shivered.

"Will she be okay?" Bella whispered, as though I couldn't hear her in the back of the car.

I peeked an eye open and saw Edward looking at me in the rear view mirror with his eyebrow raised. "She'll be fine. She just needs some food. As do you, as a matter of fact."

The car slowed, and I sat up. I realized that we had parked just off the main road out of Port Angeles. There were trees all around us.

"Where are we?" I asked.

Bella shrugged and looked at Edward. He had his eyes closed and was pinching the bridge of his nose.

I knew that this was a critical time for Bella and Edward. Bella was going to talk to Edward about her knowledge about vampires, and their growing relationship would be consolidated. I knew they were supposed to do some talking before they went to the Italian restaurant, but at the same time, I wanted to get out of that car. I was getting the nagging feeling of being a third wheel, and Bella's thoughts were telling me the same thing.

"Hey, Edward? The other girls will be worried about us. Can you take me back to the restaurant?"

His eyes flashed open and stared at me in the rear view mirror.

"Sure, Jenny."

I was a little confused by the use of my full name. Why was he calling me Jenny? Only Bella and Charlie called me that.

Bella bit her lip, and turned to look at me in the seat, her eyes pleading. _She really wants some alone time with Edward, huh?_

Edward started the car and pulled out into the road. I could tell he was still seething; his turns seemed sharp and angry, and the steering wheel looked like he had left impressions with his fingers. He was not calm yet, and that scared me.

Within a minute we had stopped again. We were at _Bella Italia_, the little restaurant us girls had agreed upon earlier that night. It felt like a lifetime ago, and it was hard to think that just half an hour ago I had been dress shopping with the girls.

"My dress!" I gasped, "I didn't buy my dress!"

Bella bit her lip. "The store would be closed by now. I'm sorry, Jen."

I swallowed and took a deep breath. "It's ok," I said, trying to convince myself that it was no big deal, "I'll… I'll wear something from home. The main thing is that you are safe, Bella."

I opened my door and got out of the car. Edward was suddenly there, opening Bella's door for her. He pointed down the road.

"Bella, you better go get your friends before I have to go rescue them, too."

She raised her eyebrows at me, then walked at a fast pace towards the direction Edward was pointing, calling out to Jess and Angela.

Edward grabbed my shoulder and turned me toward him. "You have a lot to explain," he said to me quietly.

I rolled my eyes. "So do you, Edward. To Bella."

He ran his hand through his hair. "I know."

Bella was walking back with Jess and Angela, smiling. Of course she was smiling. Now that I could go home with them, Bella could question Edward all she liked over dinner.

I smiled and waved at them. "Later," I told Edward, as they came into earshot.

There was an awkward conversation where the girls admitted that they had already eaten. Bella wasn't too fazed by this, but I most certainly was. I was starving... but I couldn't eat with Bella and Edward. I was _not_ going to be a third wheel any more.

I offered to go home with Jessica and Angela, and when Edward insisted that I should eat, I casually suggested that I get drive thru McDonalds. Port Angeles had one, right?

It wasn't long before I was in Jess' car, eating a double cheeseburger, and listening to Angela and Jess gush about some hot guy that had been their server in the restaurant. I was relieved to be away from Edward and Bella and their stifling connection. Sure, it was that important time in their relationship where secrets were revealed and they began to fall in love. I totally got that. I just didn't want to be witness to it, and I certainly didn't want to interrupt their private time.

As I mused over this in the backseat, a thought popped into my brain.

_I can't believe he didn't look at the waitress. And she looks older, about twenty. Huh._

I groaned.

"What is it, Jen?"

I rubbed my eyes wearily. "Nothing, Ang, just remembered that the essay's due tomorrow."

"You haven't finished it? You have a long night ahead of you, then." Angela smiled. "I'm sure you'll finish it in no time."

"Thanks, Ang."

It wasn't the essay I was groaning about; I had finished it the day before. There was no doubt in my mind that what I had just heard was Bella's thoughts. I wasn't trying to find them. I didn't want to hear them-but nevertheless I had.

There were times where my thoughts hadn't felt like they were my own, and I wondered if they all came from Bella. And recently I had been able to detect Bella's mood without conscious thought and work out when Bella was lying.

I stifled a giggle. Maybe, just maybe, Bella and I had a connection like Harry Potter and Lord Voldemort? I could hear her thoughts, and feel her mood, and sometimes even hear and see what she heard or saw. I imagined myself with a scar on my forehead before deciding that I would probably make a better Lord Voldemort. Bella was the good one, not me.

The biggest question in my mind was whether Bella had realized this too. It had to be because we were twins. People always said that twins had a special connection; well, right here was proof of it. It made me feel less like the girl I had been back in Australia. I was in another body, with a mind that was linked to another. Where was the room for me?

_Why won't he let me touch him?_

I huffed and closed my eyes. It was kind of annoying getting a blow by blow feed of Bella's night. I read the books, I'd seen the movies, I didn't need to see it all over again!

I kept getting the stupid thoughts and images the whole way home. Edward's jacket as she pulled it on. The glasses of Coke in front of her. Edward talking and looking mournful. It was as though I was going to get to watch their full love story play out.

It was worse than before. It was almost constant. Before Bella had wandered off in Port Angeles, the thoughts had been scattered, random, occasional. Now, they were with me, the _whole_ way home. Had I broken some sort of floodgate when I searched for Bella in Port Angeles?

The car stopping interrupted my thoughts.

"Thanks for the lift, Jess. I'll see you guys in school tomorrow," I said.

Scooping up my garbage, I hopped out of the car. Once inside, Charlie wanted to know what I had purchased, and I told him I didn't find anything I liked. He asked about Bella, and I said that she had to gone to Angela's to help her with her essay, and that she'd be back soon. I had almost forgotten about covering for Bella, and I nearly told him that Edward was giving her a lift home.

With his awkward questions averted, I wearily shuffled up the stairs, exhausted by the long day. As I got ready for bed, I heard the front door open and close. Bella was home.

I was too tired to even think about the earlier part of the night, and when Bella crawled in beside me, I rolled away, not wanting to talk. There was plenty of time to talk, but for now, I wanted sleep.

Bella sighed and fell asleep within ten minutes. She must have been as exhausted as me. Once she was asleep, I did my usual night routine of pretending to go to the toilet and never coming back. After a night like tonight, I did not want to be anywhere near Edward stalking territory.

Charlie had laid out the couch for me, and I gratefully slid into it, falling asleep almost immediately.

_I was stumbling down a road. It was a dark, and the shadows kept moving, the road wobbling. I felt nauseous, ready to vomit at any minute.  
_

_Catching my reflection in a shop window, I realized that it was my old self. Blonde hair, tanned skin, dressed up for a party. A noise startled me, and when I looked back, I was once again Bella's twin._

_A group of men approached me on the road and I stumbled, trying to get away._

_One reached out, trying to pull me toward him. I staggered away, but they kept coming._

_The world wouldn't stop spinning, and I couldn't put one foot in front of the other properly. The men were coming closer. I stepped onto the asphalt road, praying that they would leave me alone._

_Headlights flashed around the corner, and I prayed they would stop for me. Please stop!_

_I couldn't stand still, and the lights of a silver Volvo kept coming towards me. They weren't stopping…_

I sat up on the couch, panting. My hands were shaking and my eyes wouldn't adjust to the light. What on earth had I been dreaming about? I couldn't remember. All I knew was that something was going to hit me, and it was dark.

A movement in my peripheral vision startled me and I whipped my head around, stifling a scream.

Sitting motionless in Charlie's armchair was a beautiful stone-cold vampire, watching me.

My mouth gaped as I took in this new development. Edward gave me a tiny smile, and I suddenly knew exactly why he was there.

"Is it later yet?"

* * *

Please don't hate me! I will be writing furiously to try and get the next update out. Please read and review, all your comments are greatly appreciated and I do try my best to reply to all your questions. I'm sorry if I missed anyone. Thanks for reading!


	16. Chapter 16

Hi everyone. Sorry about the wait on this one. I know, excuses, excuses! My laptop died and so I couldn't write for five days. Imagine me anxiously reading all your reviews on my phone, feeling terrible that I couldn't get started!

Once again, thanks to lharkcom and flibbertigidget for making this chapter look pretty. :)

Here it is, and a quick recap:

Jen is asleep on the couch, after the incident in Port Angeles. She wakes after a bad dream, to find Edward watching her.

* * *

Chapter 16 - Thoughts

I picked up my pillow and threw it at him. _Trust him to be here._

Edward deftly caught it and grinned. "What, you thought that would hurt me?"

I groaned and flopped back onto the couch. "No, but I thought it would give you a hint."

The last thing I wanted to do was discuss the events of last night with Edward. Not here. Not yet. Not while I was in my pajamas asleep on the couch. I needed more time to reorganize my thoughts, to work out what I was going to say. How much would I tell Edward? There was no way I could tell him everything.

I could just imagine it. _Oh, yes Edward. I think I have a special connection to my twin sister…that I know you're in love with. I know you're a vampire, and I know all about your family. I roughly know your future, give or take a few incidents. I'm doing my best to stop the bad stuff, don't worry. How do I know all this? Well...you're all characters in my favorite book. No, really! I'm actually from an alternate universe. Oh, and I'm dead..._

I shook my head, trying to clear the rush of thoughts. Was it only seconds ago that I was dreaming? Or having a nightmare? I could vaguely remember running down a street, but I couldn't tell if it was Bella or me. Did I really dream my old face?

While all these thoughts were rushing through my brain, Edward continued staring at me. I took a deep breath and frowned.

"Will you stop staring at me? It's creeping me out."

Edward looked away. "I'm sorry. I'm not used to...not being able to hear you. I forget."

I muttered, "Forget to move, blink or breathe."

Edward chuckled. "My siblings were right. You know a lot more than I gave you credit for."

My breath caught in my throat. "Are…will… are they going to…" I gulped, unable to say the question that was terrifying me. _Will they kill me?_

His lips pressed together, his face deadpan. "No. I won't let them."

I exhaled for the first time in what felt like a long time. They all knew, and I wasn't going to die.

"Why won't you let them? Aren't you worried about…me? Telling anyone?"

Edward raised an eyebrow. "Aside from Bella?"

I scoffed, "As if I told her! That's an insult to her! She worked it out herself. I just…made sure she got her information from the right place."

"You mean you were interfering?"

"Helping. I prefer helping."

It was weird to talk so candidly with anyone, let alone Edward. Somehow, I knew that if I were ever going to confide to anyone, it would always get back to Edward. Why not give the information directly to the source? Edward was the one that was falling in love with Bella. He didn't need interference from Alice and the other Cullens telling him how much of a danger I was.

"Speaking of Bella, why aren't you up there watching her sleep?"

Edward's eyes met mine, and he looked slightly embarrassed. "You know I watch her?"

I gestured around me. "Why do you think I sleep down here? I could be up there, asleep in my comfortable bed, but I prefer to sleep without being spied `on. So why are you down here?"

"Bella is in a deep sleep—"

"You mean she's not talking?" I cut him off.

Even in the dark, I could see him rolling his eyes.

"You really do know everything." He ran his hand through his hair. "I heard you stir and yell out, so I came down to check on you."

"You check on me?" I swallowed.

Edward looked up the stairs. He was probably thinking about Bella. "Every night," he whispered.

I sat up straighter. "You're not supposed to check on me. You're not supposed to want to have anything to do with me."

His despondent mood evaporated. "Well, I do." He grinned, the dim light reflecting off his teeth. "The first time I came, I wondered where you were."

It was my turn to roll my eyes. "It would have been clear that one of us was upstairs and one of us was down. You're a vampire."

He stiffened, and this annoyed me. I was sick of tiptoeing around the one piece of knowledge I was prepared to divulge.

"Oh, grow a pair, Edward. I know what you are."

"I know," he said quietly, "I'm just not used to humans saying the words."

"Bella knows," I pointed out.

"It's not the same." Edward sighed, and I knew that part of the conversation was over.

I stared at the window. The curtain was fluttering in the breeze, and it reminded me of something.

"Do you ever come in this window?" I asked.

Edward shook his head. "No, I always come in upstairs. I can't say who comes in this window. Sworn to secrecy." Edward grinned, and I threw my other pillow at him.

"Why won't you answer my questions?" I hissed. He was being so difficult!

"Why won't you let me ask mine?" he countered. His words sobered me up a little. Edward deserved answers, and it was finally time to give them to him.

I sighed. "Throw me back my pillows, and start asking away."

The pillows landed in my lap with a flop, and I shoved them underneath me. Sitting up, I curled my legs under me and faced Edward.

"And, go."

Edward blinked, confused, before asking his questions. "How did you know about my family? About what we are?"

I knew this one would be coming, and I had prepared the same answer that I had given Bella. "I read a lot of vampire and supernatural books. Your family stands out so much…it caught my interest. Just watching you all a little bit was enough to confirm what I thought. Bella reads more traditional books than I do, so it took her a bit longer to work it out."

"You didn't tell her?" Edward's voice sounded incredulous.

I shook my head. "It wasn't my secret to tell. She was going to find out eventually, I just gave her the tools to work it out easier. I helped, but I didn't tell her."

"Helping," Edward muttered. "Right. Speaking of helping, what happened in Port Angeles today?"

I shifted uncomfortably. How could I answer when I didn't know myself? The events that had taken place in Port Angeles both baffled and scared me. I was afraid to say what I thought out loud. It would make it seem real, rather than just a figment of my imagination. I couldn't deny to Edward that something special had happened-he had seen evidence of that himself. Now that he was here, demanding answers, I needed to finally admit what I had been trying to suppress and ignore for so long.

"I'm not sure. I-I don't know for sure, but I think Bella and I are connected in some way."

"Connected?" he repeated.

"Yes." Anger flared up in me. "It's not impossible! Twins have special connections all the time! Some talk at the exact same time, others feel each other's pain. Don't be so sceptical!"

"Quiet, Jenny. Charlie is stirring." Edward's head was cocked to the side, as though he was listening to sounds above us.

I exhaled, trying to calm down. Having a twin connection wasn't out of the question. I lived in a super natural world now. All preconceived ideas of what was possible and what wasn't had gone out the window a long time ago; the second I had been hit by that train, in fact.

After a long silence, I asked a question that had been annoying me.

"Why do you call me Jenny? Most people just call me Jen."

Edward looked squarely at me, probably judging my reaction. "It's how Charlie thinks of you. Bella calls you Jenny when you aren't around." He frowned. "Do you mind? I can call you Jen, if you want?"

I shook my head. "I don't mind. I was just curious. Jenny was my childhood nickname."

"I know." _Of course_. "But you've changed the subject. How did you know how to find Bella?"

Edward really wasn't one to be distracted when he wanted something. He wouldn't give this up, would he?

"Sometimes, I can see where Bella is," I said. "I can tell when she's lying. Sometimes, I can see what Bella is seeing." I looked down at my hands and whispered, "Sometimes, I can hear her thoughts."

There was a long pause while Edward processed this.

"You can hear Bella?" he said after a while.

I nodded. "All the time. More than I really want to, really." I giggled. "I really didn't want to hear about your budding romance, but I didn't get a choice in the matter."

Edward smiled a little. "So that's how you found Bella. You were listening to her thoughts?"

I rubbed my eyes. "I think so. I've never searched her out on purpose before, but I knew she was in danger. I had to find her, and it was the only way I knew how."

"I don't blame you for trying. I would do the same thing for my siblings."

I heard a groan upstairs, and Edward quickly stood up.

"I'll be back. Don't go back to sleep."

I mock-saluted him, and he disappeared. Bella was probably stirring and he wanted to listen to her talking. I felt a bit used.

I curled up into a tighter ball and tried to slow my thumping heart. Why was Edward asking me all of these questions? Why couldn't he ask Bella? Why couldn't he leave me in peace?

All I could do was hope that once he and Bella had cemented their relationship he would stop harassing me. It was only a few days until the meadow. After that, Edward would be decided.

A movement to my right made me jump. Next to me, on the couch, was Edward.

I clutched my chest. "You gave me a heart attack."

"No, I didn't. I'm sorry I frightened you."

I looked at the floor, unnerved by his closeness. "I have a question now."

He wasn't moving at all, and it frightened me a little bit. "You can ask if you want."

I let out the breath I was holding. "Can you tell the difference between Bella and me?"

"What do you mean?"

I looked at him, trying to explain what I meant. "Sometimes, you call me Bella instead of Jen. Do our scents smell similar? Are we that alike? I thought vampires could tell that sort of thing."

Edward's eyes locked with mine. "Usually. You two are so intricately weaved together, though. It's as though you are two parts of a whole. I can tell the difference when you are together. All of us can. You speak with a different turn of phrase to Bella. She is softer, more innocent than you. I can see the way her eyes slide right over the other boys, while yours linger."

I clenched my fists. "So you're saying I'm a slut? That's how you can pick the difference?"

"No," Edward said slowly. "You just see different things. Apart, it is more difficult. I can't hear either of you, and you both smell the same."

_Gulp._ "Does that mean…you could…you want to-"

"Yes, Jenny. I could kill you so easily. It would only hurt for a second…" Edward trailed off, and my heart started beating furiously. _Shut up, heart!_

"But you won't?" I asked hopefully, trying to quiet the fear that was racing through my body. It was as bad as I feared. I really had been in danger. I was in danger now, probably more than Bella had ever been. I tried to shift further away from him on the couch.

Edward blinked, and looked towards the stairs again. "No. I don't think so. I couldn't hurt Bella that way."

I shoved my hands under the pillows I was sitting on, trying to hide their shaking. "You would kill Bella, but you don't want to upset her by killing her sister?"

He sighed. "It's harder not to kill you. I don't have the same…attachment. You don't have the same attachment to me."

I huffed. "There's a reason for that. I know what you are, and I know what you can do. You're damn scary; your whole family is."

Edward's lip curved upwards into a smile. "So that's why you don't like Rosalie? She's scary?"

"It's more than that. I know her history. I know how angry she can get, how nasty. She was a bitch to me my first day and it sort of cemented my belief about her. I thought she was strong, but she just wasn't nice."

He sighed. "Don't be so quick to judge Rosalie. She only wants to protect the life we've built for ourselves. We all do."

I nodded. That made a lot of sense, and explained the strange, aggressive behavior the Cullens had displayed towards me last week.

Something was completely off about this conversation. "Why are you doing this? Talking to me? Asking me questions? It could be so easy to get rid of me, and you could keep Bella for yourself."

"You don't think that's never crossed my mind?" He ran his hand through his hair. "After the first time I encountered Bella, I made sure I hunted a lot. I prepared myself for her presence, her scent. Then you appeared where I least expected it, and I was unprepared again. I had no attachment to you, and you blew your scent in my face. A part of me…I thought for a moment, I could take you. Kill you and enjoy your blood, then save Bella."

I jumped up off the couch, and backed quickly against the wall.

"Get out." I demanded.

Edward hadn't moved. "What?"

"Go away. You can have Bella all you like, but don't torture me with nightmares about the different ways I could have died! Do you want to scare the crap out of me?" I took a deep breath. "If Bella heard the things you were saying, do you think she would still want you?"

"She wants me?"

I groaned. Of course that would be the part he would focus on.

"Sit down again, Jenny. I'll go soon. I just have a few more questions."

I edged my way towards the armchair Edward had previously occupied. I needed to remember the attitude that had been getting me through the last few weeks; if they hadn't killed me by now, they probably weren't going to anytime soon. Probably.

"You said Bella wants me. Why do you think I never killed you? After talking to Bella, I learnt she was kind. She was thoughtful. Above all else, she cared for and loved her sister. I didn't want to hurt her like that. Even after the incident with the van, I couldn't kill you. Yes," he said, smiling. "I knew you remembered the accident. I didn't want to cause anyone anymore pain. You didn't tell, and that made it easy not to say, though my family wasn't satisfied."

I nodded. "But why are you bothering with this at all? You could ignore me, focus all your attention on Bella, and you would never have to worry."

"You have information I need." Edward's face was serious now. "There are so many mysteries around you. I need to know them. I need to know everything, if I am going to do something so dangerous."

"As dangerous as loving my sister?"

"Exactly," he whispered.

I swallowed. "I can tell you this. You have her. She's smitten. I don't think that's something that will change. It's _your _decisions that will decide how things turn out."

He raised an eyebrow. "How do you know?"

I grinned and tapped my temple. "I'm psychic, didn't Bella tell you?"

Edward shook his head. "No, it's more than that. You know everything. You said you know Rosalie's history. You knew about my family from supernatural books, yet you worked it out surprisingly quick. Rose believes you knew even on the first day. You know specifics about vampires. It's much more than being psychic."

I sighed. "I don't know the exact future. It's going to change from what I know. I'd trust Alice more than me, really."

"See? I didn't even mention that Alice could see the future, yet you know! How?" His eyes were boring into mine, and I leaned back.

How would I answer this question? There was no skirting around it, and he wanted answers now.

I took a deep breath. "Imagine reading a book. A book that was…all about your life…but without you in it. Like _It's a Wonderful Life_. Then you get plonked into that life. You know how it's supposed to go, but somehow the fact that you're there changes everything."

"You read a book?" Edward asked, incredulous. "What book?"

"It's only a metaphor, Edward!" My voice seemed to be straying into squeaky territory. This was dangerously close to the truth. "One day, after living with Bella my whole life, I woke up knowing the exact story of what would happen here in Forks between Bella and you. I saw what it would be like if Bella was an only child and met you, instead of having a twin sister. I saw your family. I saw…many other events. Some were good, but some were terrible. Devastating. I can't let everything happen the way I saw it. I just can't!"

I was slightly hysterical by this stage. This was probably as close to an open confession about my past as I would ever get, yet it was wrong. The knowledge that I would always have secrets that I could share with no one was hitting me hard. Somehow I had never really accepted that I would always be isolated.

Edward's voice broke the silence that followed my confession. "So now it's like _Groundhog Day._ You try to fix mistakes over and over?"

"No. I only get one chance at everything." I blinked away tears. "If Bella dies, that's it. I can't fix it."

"That's the way it is in real life, Jenny," he said bitterly. "So you know how this ends?"

"Sort of." Tears were rolling down my face now. "I only know one possible future, but I also know all the factors that contribute towards it. I'm terrified to tell you anything, in case it changes things."

"Does…does Bella die?"

I giggled a little and wiped some of the tears from my face. "No, not yet. She won't die for a long time."

"So I don't kill her?" His voice was worried, but laced with hope. I knew the answer he wanted, but I couldn't give it to him.

"I can't tell you, Edward. That's a decision you need to make yourself."

"That's what Alice tells me," he muttered.

I sighed. "What I _can_ tell you is that your decisions will be so important in the future. Don't think of what will keep Bella _safe._ Put her happiness first. Make Bella happy and safety will follow."

It was worth a shot to try to change Edward's perception. He trusted me, for some unknown reason, and I was already trying to swing that to my advantage.

"If I cared purely about Bella's safety, I would have left a long time ago."

I smiled. "I know." I yawned and stretched. "Now, if you don't mind, I need to get some sleep. I've had a big day."

Edward quickly stood up. "Yes, of course."

I had a sudden thought. "You aren't going to tell the others, are you?"

"Not everything. Some things they will need to know, others will be just between you and me."

"Good. Also, I don't think Bella should know we talked. I think she would be really unhappy and jealous if she knew we had talked so honestly."

"I will be talking to her at school tomorrow."

"She has lots of questions."

"I know." He ran his hand through his hair again. "Goodnight, Jenny."

I grinned. "See you at school tomorrow."

"Right. In English. Don't forget your essay."

I groaned, and Edward disappeared. I guessed he would have gone straight upstairs to watch Bella some more.

It wasn't long before I drifted back off to sleep. I had strange dreams again, where Edward and his family stood around me, each asking questions. I couldn't answer them all, and Edward shouted the one question I dreaded most of all…

"_WHO IS JENNIFER PORTER?"_

I sat up with a start. The sun was pouring in through the open window, and I rubbed my eyes. Morning.

I hopped off the couch and was astounded to see the time on the little VCR under the TV. I was running late.

I quickly ran upstairs and into my room, grabbing my jeans from the floor, a long sleeved shirt and a jacket from my drawers. Turning around, I realized Bella was still in bed.

"Get up, get up, Bella!" I shouted. "We are so damn late!"

Bella rolled over slowly and groaned until she saw the time. She jumped out of bed like the mattress was made of hot coals and dashed around the room, snatching at clothes and trying to get dressed.

"Jen! I left my jacket in Jess' car! What will I do?"

"Don't worry, Bella! Just put on warmer clothes!"

We almost raced each other down the stairs, trying to get ready even faster. Sure, we didn't live far from the school, but we still needed to be ready much, much earlier than we were today.

Opening a kitchen cupboard, I grabbed two granola bars, while Bella grabbed our school bags. There were two little yogurts in the fridge as well, so I took those for us.

"Jenny! My jacket!"

"You'll be fine, let's go!"

Bella dashed out the door ahead of me to start the truck, while I fumbled with the dead lock. _Stupid security, as if it would stop the vampires getting in!_

As I turned around, I realized Bella had stopped short of the truck. A shiny, silver Volvo had blocked our path out of the drive, and Bella was talking to a very handsome vampire that I had spent half the night talking to.

I cursed under my breath. Of course he would be here.

Bella turned around. "Is it alright if I get a ride with Edward, Jenny?"

My eyes flicked to Edward's, then back to Bella's. I knew what they both wanted. Privacy. Alone time. Well, they could have it. I was supposed to be helping, right? I didn't need to be a mind reader to tell what my sister was thinking.

I nodded. "Sure. Just hurry up and move your car; I need to get the truck out."

Bella's face broke into a smile. She mouthed 'thank you' before hopping into the Volvo. Edward gave me a courteous nod and got in the driver's side. The next thing I knew, they were gone.

My former panic gone, I got into the old truck and started it, pumping my foot on the clutch several times. _Stupid thing._

I drove to school as carefully as I could, trying to be fast as well. The final bell went off as I pulled into the lot. I wasn't too late. Typical, the Volvo was already there, parked next to a shiny red car.

I rushed into math apologizing, giving some crap excuse about my car not starting properly. It wasn't far from the truth, right?

Rosalie had spread her things across our shared desk, and I grumpily shoved them all back.

She raised an eyebrow. "I thought you weren't coming?"

I gave her the finger and turned my attention to the teacher.

I hated sleeping in, and I hated the feeling it gave me for the rest of the day. It always made me feel like I was behind and rushing, unprepared for classes, and generally miserable.

At the end of the first lesson, Rosalie grabbed my arm to stop me from leaving. Her hand was cool and hard, and I involuntarily flinched.

Rosalie's face was concerned. "I heard about last night. It was a close call, and I hope you weren't too shaken up."

I rolled my eyes. "Of course you heard about last night."

She bit her lip. "I know we didn't get off to a good start, but I was concerned for my family. We all are."

I frowned. "You think I don't worry about my sister?"

"So you understand?" she asked.

I nodded. "You have no idea how much I understand."

I ended up walking at a fast pace to my next class. Even though I was with Bella, I spent most of the class in my own thoughts.

It wasn't as much fun being a secondary character in _Twilight_ as I thought it would be. When I had imagined being Bella's sister, I had always thought I would be much more involved. I had thought that Bella would come to me more, would include me more in her confidences.

It was hard to deal with the fact that in reality there were only two important characters in this love story; Bella and Edward. It could be years before my own love story began. Maybe senior year, or college, or even further beyond.

A tiny part of me wondered if I would have been better off in my old life, but I squashed it down quickly. I would be dead. There was no way I could even contemplate going back to that life; it was over.

My conversation the night before had been a one-off. I was only essential to Edward in regards to Bella: if I was unhappy, Bella was unhappy. I wondered if it would have been different if I had made an active move to get Edward for myself. Would I be happy in the long run? Would I be prepared to turn into a vampire? The decision had been made long ago, but I still wondered if it was the right one.

The only thing that reassured me was that back in my old life, I had promised to look after Bella. That had to be the reason I was here. The powers that be wouldn't drop me into the _Twilight_ universe with Bella and make us fight it out for Edward. I had to be sure that I was doing the right thing, but that didn't mean it didn't suck now.

English with Edward was awkward; after the open and honest conversation the night before, it was strange to sit beside a vampire and do something as mundane as an English quiz. I handed in my essay, feeling uneasy about its quality.

Edward smirked.

"What?" I hissed. I was already feeling self-conscious enough about my dismal effort.

"Did Bella help you with that?" His eyes twinkled with amusement.

I didn't find it as funny. "Shut up." I turned back to the front of the classroom. Arrogant ass.

Aside from that exchange, we didn't talk for the rest of the class. I kind of preferred it that way; it made it easier to remember that however nice Edward was to me, he was _in love_ with Bella. However friendly he was, it was only because he wanted my good opinion so that he could date my sister. It was only at the end of the class that I realized that Edward had probably been listening to Bella's conversation with Jessica in Trig. I wondered if it had gone the same way as it had in the book. I tried to listen to Bella's thoughts, but it was too difficult to concentrate on listening to the teacher at the same time. It may be easy for vampires to organize their special abilities with day-to-day life, but for a slower-witted human like me, it was hard.

Edward and Bella sat together at lunch, talking to one another. As per usual, I got to hear snippets of the conversation. Perhaps it was Bella's closer proximity, or the fact that I could see her, but her thoughts and conversations were as loud as if she were shouting them in my ear.

Everything seemed to go the way it was supposed to. Edward had overheard the right parts of her conversation with Jessica and questioned Bella about her feelings. They had a big old heart to heart about who liked the other more.

I was starting to not care. Bella and Edward were going along the way it was planned, the way it was supposed to be. Since the Port Angeles incident the night before, I had a clear run for the next few days. It was time to focus on myself a little bit. Edward and Bella could learn about each other all they liked. They didn't need me listening in or interfering.

"Jen? What did you buy?"

"Huh?" I whipped my head around to see Lauren and the rest of the table staring at me.

Jessica piped up. "She didn't buy anything; there wasn't anything that really suited her."

Bitch. If only she knew why I didn't buy anything. "Yeah, there was nothing I really wanted."

"But there was that gorgeous pink dress, Jen!" Angela looked thoroughly confused, and I didn't blame her.

"Yeah, I know. I'll just wear something from home; I've got a nice sun dress that I can dress up."

Lauren nodded her head. "That's what I'm doing. It's much easier to wear what you've already got."

I understood what she was saying. It was cheaper and less of a hassle, both important things when you have issues going on at home. I'd lived Lauren's life and I knew what it was like.

But I didn't live it anymore, and that bugged me. I had the chance to wear a pretty, new dress and get done up for the dance, but I was spending most of my time worrying about the philosophical implications of my presence in a fictional world, and a live story I was only a minor character in. It was time to let loose and have fun, and all I could do was worry about Bella having a smooth relationship with her boyfriend. I was trying to live through my sister, and it was pathetic.

The rest of the day went by quickly. All through chemistry I got to listen to Bella's thoughts about biology, the film they were watching, and Edward. They were excruciatingly close, and there was electricity in the air. Yawn. Bella and Edward's romance was much more interesting when fleshed out into a novel than in real life. Bella was much more like a teenager than I could have ever anticipated.

In P.E, Bella was terrible. We were playing badminton, and she was partnered with Mike. I was on my off rotation with my partner (some beefy tall guy, ugh), and was privileged enough to get to watch Bella smack Mike in the head. The poor guy needed ice. All I could think was that Edward was probably watching.

I rushed out quite quickly after class. It had been a rotten day, and I just wanted to get home and go to sleep. Hopping into the truck, I started it and backed out, assuming that Bella would be riding home with Edward.

Finally arriving home, I sat down at the kitchen table, putting my head in my hands. What did this universe want from me? I had been given a second chance, but for what? To watch Bella star in a romance, with me playing the 'Nurse' to her 'Juliet'? It didn't seem like a particularly fun way to live my life.

I heard the Volvo pull up outside before the engine was shut down. They would probably be there for a while, talking. Already, I could hear Bella's internal chatter. It seemed like it was getting worse. It was harder to turn off, to tune out, and I was able to hear it from increasingly further away. It was as though the night before had opened some sort of floodgate.

Stomping upstairs, I could hear Bella's questions, and Edward's answers. Where was my romance? Where was my mystery man to sweep me off my feet? Sure, I thought Jacob was pretty cute, but that wasn't anywhere near the same scale as what Bella and Edward had.

I opened the door to our room and gasped.

Draped across the double bed was a dress. It was just like the dress in Port Angeles, lace overlay with a fitted bodice and chiffon pieces, but instead of pink, it was in a pale mint green. It was beautiful.

I looked around me, towards the window, and out the door. It couldn't have been Bella, she had never seen the dress. It had only been last night! I checked the size on the dress, and it was the right one. Picking the dress up, I clutched it to my chest. I had a dress. A pretty dress for the dance. I couldn't believe it.

"Ouch!" Something had just pricked me in the chest. Holding the dress out in front of me, I realized there was a note pinned to it. I ripped it off.

"_Sorry you didn't get to buy your dress last night. This color will suit you better. Have fun at the dance."_

It wasn't signed, but it was clear that it had been a vampire that had gotten the dress. Who else would have known what dress I had tried on?

A rumbling truck drew me to my window. Looking outside, I could see Edward's Volvo pulling away and a black truck pulling in. The Blacks.

A grin spread across my face. Jacob was here. Suddenly my day wasn't so terrible. I had a dress for the dance. I was getting to see Jacob again. Things were looking up.

* * *

There! I got you all off that cliff hanger! Now doesn't that feel better? :)

Was the conversation with Edward what you expected? Did you want Jen to reveal so much? Let me know what you think! Jess x


	17. Chapter 17

Once again, I am extremely sorry about the long wait between updates. No excuses, just a new chapter to hopefully make youa ll happy.

I haven't had time to respond to all reviews, but I am going to do that today. Yes, today.

Thanks to lharkcom and flibbertigidget for once again being awesome and being my betas. They've actually started their own story, Life In Postscript, and it is seriously good. Don't walk, run. :)

Enjoy.

* * *

Chapter 17 - Forest

I dropped the dress back on the bed and bounded down the stairs. The mystery of the unknown dress sender would have to wait; we had guests.

I skidded around the corner and flung open the front door to see a frozen group of people. Up in the black truck was Billy Black, old and wizened, staring at Bella with an expression of fear. Bella, God bless her soul, was smiling back, unaware of the reason for Billy's consternation. Jacob had hopped out of the car and stopped, watching the strange scene unfold.

The silence was broken by Charlie, who had pulled up in the cruiser.

"Billy!" he called.

Billy seemed to snap out of his thoughts and grinned at Charlie.

"Get under here, you idiot!" I called as Bella ducked under the porch. She shook off her jacket, flicking water all over me.

Charlie and Jacob chattered to each other as they helped Billy out of the car.

Bella hung her jacket inside the door and came over by me to watch them lift Billy out. She gripped my hand.

"Jen, why did Billy Black glare at me?"

"I don't know, Bella." I chewed my lip and mulled over my answer. Of course I knew why Billy was mad; he knew that Edward Cullen was a vampire. That was pretty obvious to me. The real question was why Bella didn't.

Somehow, my interference with how she found out about vampires had made her very unaware about the possible existence of other supernatural creatures. Bella wouldn't be thinking about how she had to hide her relationship with Edward around the one person that truly believed in the existence of vampires. It was very dangerous territory, and I had to rectify it fast.

I had created so many problems for myself in the _Twilight_ world, so many stupid problems that wouldn't have happened had I not been here. It seemed like a tiny issue right now, but for all I knew it could mean Bella's death…or mine.

Bella pulled me to the side as the three of them entered the house. I closed the door behind us, and we entered the room.

"This is a surprise," Charlie said.

"It's been too long. I hope it's not a bad time." Billy gave Bella another meaningful look.

"No, it's great," Charlie said. "I hope you can stay for the game."

It was like a well-rehearsed play. It's not like I had ever overanalyzed this scene while reading the book; Edward wasn't in it, so I was automatically less interested in reading it. However, seeing it now in front of me, it was still like opening it straight up to the chapter. They said exactly what I expected them to-

"Jacob was anxious to see Jenny again."

My head did a double take. _What? _That wasn't right at all.

Jacob looked sheepishly at the ground, while Billy and Charlie's eyes were on me.

I grinned. "Well of course he did. I'm awesome." I turned to Bella. "Hey, are you hungry?"

Bella narrowed her eyes. "Yes, but I'm cooking. _You _are not allowed near any cooking implements."

"Duh. Anyone else?" I asked.

Charlie called out "sure," as he pushed Billy into the living room. I followed Bella into the kitchen.

"Do you think you could manage to chop a few tomatoes, Jen?" Bella asked as she grabbed the frying pan.

I winced. "I'll give it a go."

Jacob quietly snuck into the room and leaned against the counter.

"So, how are things?" he asked me, grinning.

I couldn't help but flirt. I knew that I had told myself to stay away from Jacob for now, but his bright personality was hard to resist.

"Oh, alright, I suppose. Didn't take you long to make the trek up to Forks." I shrugged casually. "Thought it would be weeks before we saw you."

Bella's irritation flared up.

_Must she do this with every guy we ever come across?_

Jacob playfully nudged me. "And miss out on your 'awesomeness'? I had to come as soon as I could!"

I giggled, and Bella slapped her hand down on the counter, taking deep breaths.

What was her problem? She couldn't possibly be jealous that I was flirting with Jacob; it had to just be irritation.

I finished the tomatoes, chatting happily with Jacob about his car and school. Passing the tomatoes to Bella, I hopped up on the counter, ready to fix my mistakes from the La Push beach trip.

"So, Bella. How weird was it when Billy got here?"

Her anger disappeared instantly and her mind whirred into action. Nothing like a good mystery to distract Bella.

Jacob raised his eyebrows. "You noticed it too? He was fine while we were driving here, then the second he saw that other car in your driveway he went all quiet."

"Weird," I said.

There was an awkward pause. Bella was watching the two of us, trying to work out what was going on. Jacob was probably wondering if he should reveal his knowledge about the Cullens (even if he was sceptical) while I was planning my next mode of attack. Yes, attack. While flirting seemed to come naturally to me, I was going to utilize it to my advantage today-for more than one reason.

Jacob broke the silence. 'So, whose car was it?"

Bella ducked her head and smiled a little. "Uh, it was Edward Cullen's."

Jacob nodded and rolled his eyes. "That explains it."

Bella's eyes lit up, but I could tell she wasn't going to ask the question.

"What does it explain, Jacob? It's time to share your juicy secrets, give us the goss!" I demanded.

He grinned, and waved Bella closer to us. My legs dangled off the bench, with Jacob and Bella close on each side. It was a very intimate, secret telling sort of environment; at least, that's what I was going for.

"I'm not supposed to tell anyone anything," he said in a low voice. "Tribal law states that we can't tell outsiders."

I leaned forward to look him in the eyes. "But you're going to tell us, right?"

Jacob hesitated, and Bella's thoughts supplied the reason for his pause.

_God, I wish she'd drop the act. He can see right down her top!_

Prude. I wasn't going to flash the poor boy or anything. I was just giving him a taste, a reason to tell us poor girls about his dad's silly superstitions.

Jacob blinked and put his eyes back in his head. He cleared his throat dramatically.

"Do you girls like scary stories?"

The poor kid was interrupted. Bella swore and turned back to the stove – our dinner was starting to burn. She pulled the pan off the heat and set it down, muttering about "distractions".

I edged a little closer to Jacob. "Tell us," I said, making my voice a little more breathy.

He gulped. Bella was back by my side now, and he had both of our full attention.

"Well, it's kind of silly, but my Dad is one of the leaders of our tribe."

"The Quileutes," I said, nodding my head.

Jacob beamed at me. "Right. Well, our ancient legends tell us that our tribe descended from wolves."

Bella interrupted. "Wolves? Real wolves?"

Jacob sniggered. "So the legend tells us. We have many different legends about how our tribe came into being, but they all center around one theme."

I leaned forward even more. "What is it?" I whispered. After all this acting, I should have been given an Oscar.

Jacob leaned in as well, looking deep into my eyes. God, he was going to be a heartbreaker when he was older. "The Cold Ones," he whispered.

Bella shivered, a long deep one that startled both of us out of our trance.

Jacob shook his head. "Scary, huh? We sometimes call them the blood drinkers."

"Like vampires?" Bella asked.

"Yes." Jacob said, "Exactly like vampires. The last time they were in La Push, my grandfather was the leader of our tribe. They protected us from the Cold Ones."

I bit my lip and smiled. "How?" Of course, I knew the answer, but I had to make sure he said it.

He grinned sheepishly. "It's a bit silly, but the elders tell us that they turned into wolves." Jacob chuckled, looking at Bella's bewildered face. "Silly superstitions. Dad's fully into them."

Flicking my hair over my shoulder, I smiled at Jacob again. Bella rolled her eyes. "But how does this relate to what happened outside?"

"That was Edward Cullen out there, right?" We both nodded. "Well, Dad thinks that the Cullens were first in the area in my grandfather's time. The Cullens promised they weren't a threat to our people, but just to be safe, they negotiated a treaty to keep them off Quileute lands. Now, they're back again. According to Dad, there's more of them than last time, but their leader, the doctor, is the same."

"The same?" Bella asked blankly.

Jacob nodded slowly. "The same. As in, they've left and come back."

Bella was suddenly gripped by a wave of fear, and I grabbed her arm to calm her.

_Billy knows. He knows about the Cullens. He's going to tell Charlie._

"Will Billy tell Charlie?" I asked. "Not that it matters—just—I don't think Charlie would really…"

"Nah, Charlie thinks Dad is being an idiot." Jake grinned. "Tonight was supposed to be some sort of reconciliation."

"Plus football."

"Yeah."

Charlie stuck his head inside the kitchen.

"Hey, Bells. How's that food coming?"

I slid off the counter as Bella started piling our sandwiches onto plates.

"They're done, Dad. Bringing them out now."

"Great. Jen, can you grab Billy and me a beer?"

I shrugged. "Sure."

I followed Bella out with the beers, Jacob tailing closely behind me.

It wasn't a bad evening. Bella worried a little about homework, but was more concerned about Billy spilling the beans to Charlie. She was worrying for no reason though – as if Billy was going to turn around and say "Hey, Charlie, according to my legends, your daughter is seeing a 100-year-old vampire!"

I ended up squashed between Jacob and Bella on couch. It was a little awkward at first. My leg was pressed right up against Jacob's, but I wasn't complaining. Jacob kept looking over and grinning at me, making me blush every single time.

_He is still a kid_, I chanted to myself, _he hasn't even hit puberty properly yet._ I was a seventeen-year-old girl who had no immediate plans to become a cradle robber. While a tiny part of me yearned to throw away all my carefully laid plans and focus on my own relationship, a much bossier part was adamant that even if I ignored the supernatural, the supernatural was not going to ignore me. That much was clear to me.

The game finally finished. Bella went with Charlie to the door to help with Billy, and Jacob hung back.

"So, Jen," he said, stepping closer to me. "When will I see you again?"

I sighed. "Jake…I like you. A lot. But…"

"But?" He grinned. 'I'm getting a but?"

I whacked him lightly. "Yes. But." I tugged on the end of my hair anxiously. "I don't think things will work between us."

To my surprise, Jacob smirked. "You don't think we would work?"

"Jake! You're only fifteen! That's a pretty good reason, you know."

He sighed. "I guess you're right."

"Of course I am." I nudged him with my fist. "I'm always right. But seriously… when you get your car finished, come visit me."

"When I finish the Rabbit?" He grinned. "That could be in two days for all you know!"

I held up a finger. "And be able to legally drive it to my house. None of this 'early permit' rubbish."

Jacob nodded. "Alright then. It's a date."

I bit my lip. "A date."

Jake patted my shoulder. "I'll see you 'round, Jen."

"See ya, Jake."

He walked towards the door, but stopped suddenly.

"Can I tell my friends I have a date with you?"

I bent down and picked up a couch cushion, hurling it in his direction.

"You dork!"

He grinned and waved. "See ya."

I flopped backwards onto the couch, breathing deeply. I didn't think I would have to deal with Jacob again anytime soon. Maybe a few more dinners at my house…

I realized with a jolt that the dance was only in THREE DAYS. Three! I rushed upstairs to put my dress away. Bella didn't need to see it; it would only raise questions that I didn't want to answer.

After carefully hanging the beautiful dress in the closet I went back downstairs to see the other two.

Bella bounded past me on her way to the shower. Her thoughts screamed relief; she thought she had dodged a bullet. Really, as if Billy was going to reveal that he held these crazy beliefs in front of us? It would only cause trouble.

Charlie was downstairs in his chair. As I entered the living room, he pointed to the couch.

"Hi, Dad. What's up?"

Charlie grunted. "Bella tells me you didn't get a dress for the dance."

I shrugged. "We ran out of time on Tuesday."

"Right," he said. After a pause, he continued, "If you wanted to go pick something up, I'd be happy to drive with you to Port Angeles tomorrow night."

I could see what it would cost Charlie to come shopping with me: just his dignity, and the ability to watch sports on his Thursday night off.

"Dad, it's okay. Lauren was actually going shopping tonight, and she said she'd pick me up something. It should be nice."

Charlie grunted and his face was filled with relief. He didn't want to do the "daughter" thing, not really. The poor guy, getting landed with teenagers after years of freedom, and as far as I knew, it was only going to get worse for him.

"Did you need money for it then? I don't want the Mallorys to be put out."

He reached into his pocket and pulled out his wallet, shelling out two hundred dollars.

"That'll cover it, right? I don't want you relying on charity, Jennifer. If you need money for a dress, or clothes, or school, just ask. Just because we're not well off, doesn't mean I can't take care of you."

My heart swelled. "Thanks, Dad." I jumped across and gave him a kiss on the cheek, and he handed me the money.

"I'll give you any change there is, I swear."

"Don't worry about it, Jen. Keep the change. I know Bella drives the truck much more than you do, so just think of it as my welcome gift to you."

I grinned. "Thank you."

Later that night, as I got ready for bed upstairs, I felt a pang of guilt. I already had a dress. Charlie was wasting his money on me. It would have hurt Charlie's feelings if I rejected the money or gave it back to him now, but it wasn't as though I could just go pay the Cullens back with the money.

I went back downstairs, now in my pajamas, and found an envelope in a kitchen drawer. Slipping the two hundred dollars inside, I sat down at the table, marker in hand. I hesitated for a moment, before firmly marking it 'COLLEGE'. I took the envelope upstairs and pulled my diary out from under the mattress. The envelope was quickly stashed in the back cover.

The front cover of the diary fell open, and I was confronted with the face of Jennifer Porter, a girl that no longer existed. She had made so many stupid decisions—decisions I couldn't even bring myself to regret—because they didn't feel like mine anymore. Remembering Mum was like remembering a childhood memory; it was fuzzy, indistinct, worn away in my mind by the passage of time. All the dangerous and idiotic things I had done as Jennifer Porter weren't real to me – the drinking, the smoking, the boys, the night I slept with my English teacher, the drugs – they felt like some bad horror story. I felt like I should be warning people in school lectures, "You lead a dangerous life and you will get hit by cars and die in a train accident". Sure, it didn't make sense, but that was how I felt. I felt like a stupid teenage girl had done all those things, but I was too grown up for that.

"Who's Jennifer Porter?"

I leapt off the bed, flailing my arms. Bella was standing behind me with a puzzled expression.

"Wha-what, I don't, I don't know what you me-mean!" I spluttered.

She raised an eyebrow. "You were looking at an article in your diary. It had a picture labelled 'Jennifer Porter, the 56th victim of the disaster'. I wanted to know who she was."

I clutched the diary to my chest. "Why are you snooping?"

Bella blinked. "I wasn't," she said cautiously. "I was just interested."

She held my gaze for a long, tense minute. I wasn't going to answer her question. No, Jennifer Porter was the one secret I would take with me to the grave.

Bella finally broke the eye contact. "Fine. I can sense that you don't want to tell me…I'm going to bed."

_Stubborn cow, how hard was it to just tell me…what was that?_

Bella gasped. I had been listening to her thoughts, involuntarily of course, but they had broken off. _Why had they broken off_?

I started reciting the national anthem of Australia in my head, over and over, hoping desperately that Bella hadn't felt what I had been feeling for so long.

_Australians all let us rejoice…_

Bella's mind was ticking over now.

_I felt Jen's reluctance to tell me__; I HEARD her think that she didn't want to tell me…_

…_for we are young and free…_

I slowly began to back out of the room, still reciting the song over and over in my brain. I needed to get away from Bella.

…_with golden soil and land for toil…_

_That would explain all those times where I could tell what Jen was feeling…when she was angry, or sad…_

…_our land is girt by sea…_

I had nearly escaped without Bella noticing, my foot halfway out the door, when Bella spoke.

"Jen, what does 'girt' mean?"

I panicked and fled. Down the stairs, two by two, straight out the front door, clutching my diary. Bella was trying to follow close behind, but she wasn't as fast as me. I could hear Charlie yelling at me as the front door slammed behind me. I ran into the darkness, past the edge of the tree line and into the forest.

Dodging between trees, I ran and ran. I had to get away from Bella. She couldn't know my thoughts, my secrets. What if I had inadvertently thought about Renesmee? Or the Volturi? I could be causing so much more damage than what I had already.

Panting, I stopped, leaning heavily against a tree. As I slowly caught my breath, I realized that I was very deep in the forest. There was a good chance that I was lost. Turning around, squinting into the darkness, I couldn't even determine which direction I had came from.

I took a deep breath and plopped myself on the ground. Wandering around and around wasn't going to solve anything. It would make it harder to find me.

_Idiot!_ I told myself. How could I be stupid enough to run into the forest at night without even a coat? Or a torch? I shivered. Should I have stayed back at the house?

The leaves rustled eerily in the wind. I heard a strange noise behind me and I whipped around to see, but it was just a tree branch swaying in the dark. My breath caught in my throat as I turned again, following the whispering wind. I was so stupid for getting caught out here so late.

I took a step back, cringing away from the darkness that felt like it was creeping closer. Slowly, I moved my other foot, staring into the dark ahead of me. One foot, another foot, back and back, until I felt the soft dampness of a mossy tree against my body. I pressed against it, feeling somehow more secure with part of my body protected. My eyes had adjusted to the darkness, and in the dim moonlight I was beginning to make out the forms of other trees.

I willed myself to take one deep breath after another. Panicking wasn't going to solve anything. I closed my eyes and tried to reach out to Bella. _Where was she?_

_Bella was pacing the edge of the forest, with the light from the porch throwing deep shadows across the grass. She was worried, but did not dare venture into the forest herself, fearing she would get lost._

_Charlie called out to her, and Bella lied, saying that I was there with her. She continued pacing, hoping I would come back soon._

I kept my eyes squeezed shut. The night before, in Port Angeles, finding Bella had been a matter of seeing where she was going through her thoughts. Bella's thoughts wouldn't help me find my way back, and I certainly wasn't going to test my theories about our mind link further. I had run away from Bella for a reason.

A soft thud in front of me made me jump, and I slowly opened my eyes to see a hazy figure standing in front of me. Blinking rapidly, I tried to force my eyes to adjust quicker. Was it a vampire standing before me? _Damn my human senses!_

My eyes adjusted to see two figures in the shadows—a beautiful blonde vampire I was very familiar with and a giant.

I gulped. "Rosalie? What are you doing here?"

Rosalie sighed and put her hands on her hips. "Helping you. How thick would you have to be to run into a dark forest late at night?"

I looked down at my feet, feeling very small. "I'm not arguing with you there."

Emmett gave a loud guffaw and Rosalie glared at him.

"What?" He shrugged. "At least she admits it."

I shrank back into the tree, wishing more than anything that I wasn't in the forest with a pair of vampires.

"Jen, you haven't met my boyfriend, Emmett." Something in Rosalie's voice made her words sound like a joke, like she was laughing at me.

"Hi," I mumbled.

"What?" Emmett laughed, his voice booming through the night, "is that all you have? Hi? I thought you wanted my large gloves, baby!"

I blushed and slid down so that I was on the ground, my back pressed against the tree and my knees under my chin. I wished the world would swallow me up and spit me out somewhere that was less embarrassing. Of course Emmett would remember that offhand comment in the lunchroom about his…well…large genitalia.

Rosalie laughed and smacked him across the shoulder. "Very funny. Your gloves are mine. Jen isn't getting any of your large gloves."

"Thank God," I muttered.

Rosalie sighed and stepped closer to me. "Come on, Jen, get up. We're taking you home."

"Why?" I asked. Why on earth would the Cullens care about me getting lost? Why were they here at all?

"Because there are some things in the forest that even _you _can't handle, Jen," Rosalie said.

"And Rosie here was worried you'd run into trouble."

"Shut up!" Rosalie whacked him again, and Emmett grinned at me—his white teeth glinting.

I tried to use my hand to lever myself up, but a hand appeared in my vision. I gripped it, noting how hard and cold it was, and found myself yanked to my feet.

"March," Rosalie demanded, pointing into the trees. "Your house is that way."

I gulped. "What's out there that I should be worried about?"

"Nothing," said Rosalie.

"Just some others," said Emmett.

They both spoke at the same time, but I could definitely tell what they were saying. Rosalie didn't want me to know, but Emmett had told me all I needed to hear anyway. Rosalie, Emmett, and the Cullens were not the only vampires in the dark tonight.

"W-will," I stuttered, "-will you take me?"

Rosalie gave me a tight smile. "If you want."

We began walking through the forest at my pace, for which I was thankful. I didn't think I was ready to test vampire speed and I did not trust Rosalie or Emmett enough to run me home safely.

I swallowed. "Why do you care?"

"Care about what?" Rosalie asked vaguely.

"About whether I get home safely? I…I thought you hated me?"

Emmett snorted. "You're sure a pain in the butt, that's not a lie."

Rosalie's voice was cautious as she answered. "Well, if you were to die, it would seriously impact on Edward and Bella's relationship. I assume you know what is going on there?"

"Of course. I'm not stupid. But I thought you hated the idea of Edward seeing a human?"

"Damn, she's good." Emmett laughed, holding aside a tree branch so that we could pass by.

"I do." Rosalie sighed. "But I don't think it's fair that anyone else should be in danger because of it."

"Right," I agreed. "You don't want to expose your family."

Emmett snorted, and Rosalie took a deep breath. "Yes. No one should be facing danger because of the actions of a family member. Some people can't defend themselves, as much as they think they can. Who is standing up for them? No one."

I wrinkled my nose, stepping carefully over a log. "I don't get it."

"I don't expect you to."

The trees were becoming easier to see, and through the shadows I could see light. We were at the tree line.

I turned to the pair. "Thanks."

"For finding you?" Emmett asked. "It was hardly a challenge."

My eyes met Rosalie's. "Thanks for _everything."_

She nodded her understanding. I was thanking her for much more than a simple search and rescue.

"Alice wants to talk to you tomorrow," Rosalie said. "You should be prepared."

"Got it. Well…I'll see you at school."

"See you, Jen."

"Bye."

They melted backwards into the forest, disappearing into the night. I took a deep breath and turned towards the light, uneager to face Bella.

Bella was much too worried about my disappearance so all thoughts of our mind link had vanished. She wasn't curious; she wasn't angry. In fact, she had tears in her eyes. She threw her arms around me, crying that she was so afraid that I wouldn't come back. I patted her back and soothed her, wondering the whole time whether it would be Bella leaving me in the end. _Shut _up, brain, that's what's supposed to happen.

After Bella calmed down, we went inside to go to bed, giving Charlie some rubbish about 'girl talk'. As per usual, after ten minutes I snuck downstairs to find a bed dutifully made up for me on the couch. Charlie was so awesome.

The next day I was up bright and early, with Bella not far behind me, and we were able to get ready leisurely, not rushing for once. Bella rode with Edward again, but I really didn't mind. It was inevitable. Bella was in love with Edward and there was no point in feeling bitter. It was what I expected to happen, right?

I parked the truck in our usual spot, feeling slightly annoyed that I had to drive it all the time. It was harder to think when I was driving, there was too much to concentrate on.

Hopping out of the car, I nearly crashed into the tiny form of Alice. Standing close behind her was Jasper.

"Can you back up a bit and give me some room?" I grumbled.

They both took a step back, watching me with large eyes.

Between the van I had parked next to and the truck, I felt very enclosed. It was a very small space to share with vampires.

"What do you want?" I asked huffily. "I'm not going to give your family away."

"I know," Alice chirped lightly, a smile glittering on her face. "We just have some business."

I sighed. "What business? I have class, you know."

"Rosalie is covering for you."

"Oh." It was still strange to me that Rosalie was being nice to me, let alone being helpful. I had thought she was a bitch, but many of my preconceptions had been sorely mistaken.

"Give me your cell."

"What?"

Alice huffed impatiently. "Your cell phone. Give it to me."

I slowly reached into my backpack, and pulled it out.

She snatched it out of my hands. "Hey!" I said.

Her fingers started flying across the buttons. Jasper was smiling at me and while the gesture could have been friendly, it came across as sinister.

Alice handed my phone back. "He's not going to hurt you, are you, Jasper?"

He shook his head, his smile disappearing. I shivered. Vampires were seriously creepy sometimes.

"What did you do to my phone?" I asked, unlocking the menu and checking through it.

"I just programmed some numbers in, just in case you ever need to call one of us."

"But Bella shares this phone too."

"I suggest you keep it for now." Alice smiled. "Bella is going to be with Edward most of the time, and he has a cell too. So just call his cell if you ever need Bella."

"Right." I stuffed the cell back into my bag. "Thanks."

"One more thing…" Alice said, smiling again. "You know that this weekend is important?"

"I guess?"

"Don't play coy with me, Jenny. I know that you know these things."

I sighed. "Sorry."

She continued on. "You have to stay out of Bella and Edward's way. Pretty much avoid her for the next few days. They're critical. So much could go wrong and I don't think either of us are willing to risk that."

"I'm not ready to risk my sister," I pointed out, "but it seems like I don't get a say in the matter."

Jasper smiled grimly. "I don't think we have a choice anymore."

Alice shook her head. "No, we don't. They are in love with each other, but the danger is still there."

"Until after the weekend," I said.

"Yes, until after Saturday."

"Right. I guess I can make plans for the weekend. I am going to the dance on Saturday, so I'll just stay at Lauren's or something."

Alice grinned. "Good idea."

My thoughts of the dance reminded me of something. "Alice? Was it you who got me the dress?"

Her gaze lingered on mine. "I had a hand in it, but it's not my place to say anything."

I groaned. "Everyone keeps saying that." I looked at my watch. "I better get to class."

"Good idea, " Alice agreed. 'Oh, and, Jenny? After this weekend, it will all settle down. There won't be any more problems to worry about."

I rolled my eyes. "As if anything will ever settle down while _you lot_ are around."

Jasper laughed. "She's right, you know."

Alice ignored him. "We need to have a talk, Jenny. A proper one. Somewhere private. Edward's told me about how you know things and I think we can coordinate."

I nodded. "Definitely." I was torn between the two possibilities of having someone to confide in, and the terror of being found out, but I wasn't going to let Alice know that.

"Well, you should get to class."

"Okay." I smiled. "Bye, Alice, Jasper."

"Bye." They disappeared.

I took a deep breath and set off for math. It was becoming a bad habit to be late for this class and even though Rosalie had given the teacher the excuse that my car had failed to start, I still didn't like it.

Rosalie didn't say anything to me in class. She just gave me the new worksheet, smiled, and continued with her work. I was grateful for that. Somehow, I wanted class time to be class time, not 'worry about vampires' time. It was a small thing to ask, and I was grateful to have it granted for once.

Bella's thoughts lingered on my mind; they wouldn't leave me alone. All through the next class, her mind shouted out about how much she was happy to be with Edward, how she wondered what questions he would ask her next. It was apparently 'Edward's turn to ask questions', and she was worried that she wouldn't be able to answer them. Silly girl.

Even through English, one of my few classes without Bella, I could still feel her mind getting giddy over dreamboat Edward. It was even more weird considering I was sitting right next to the vampire she was lusting over.

At one point, I groaned and put my head on the desk. "Shut up, shut up, shut up."

Edward gave me a funny look. "Jen, are you hearing-"

"Yes."

Edward sighed. "You don't know lucky you are."

"Neither do you."

Edward grinned. "I guess you're right."

_Jen? Can you hear this?_

Where before Bella's thoughts had been like waves in the ocean, gently lapping at the edge of my own consciousness, her direct thought crashed into me like a tidal wave. I sat bolt upright, upsetting my papers from my desk. Luckily, I had picked the right time to do this, the teacher giving us permission to leave early.

Edward helped me gather my things quickly, piling them back onto my desk. Thankfully, he was none the wiser to my moment of panic, and once again I thanked the powers that be that I was Bella's identical twin in this universe, and shared her brain-shielding anomaly.

Walking out of English, I giggled to myself. It was like Harry Potter. I had a secret direct link to Volde-Bella's brain, and I had to shield myself to protect my secrets. Volde-Bella must never know what I'm thinking, or the whole game would be up.

Something told me that I couldn't block Bella out without losing my ability to see into her mind too. I had kind of imagined our link a little bit like two rooms, separated by a doorway that was covered with a thick, heavy curtain. When I had first come into the _Twilight _world, it was as though I was pressed up against that curtain, listening to what was going on in Bella's room. After the Port Angeles incident, where I had forced my way in to save Bella, I had slashed those curtains with a knife, making it much easier to hear her thoughts, even if I didn't want to. They were easier to hear when they were forceful thoughts; anger, fear, or as I had been experiencing for the last few days, happiness.

The way I saw it, I had two options. I could somehow open myself up more, making my thoughts easier to read, and have full access to Bella's. That idea didn't particularly appeal to me, holding as many secrets as I did.

The other option was to build some sort of barrier; something to block her ability to hear my thoughts, as well as filter out hers. It would be a relief not to hear Bella's complaints every time something annoyed her and it would be even better not to have her first real romantic relationship forced through my head against my will. No, barrier it was.

At lunchtime, I managed to secure myself a sleepover at Lauren's house after the dance. She kept talking about having an "after party" which sounded pretty fun to me. Even though I could remember the last after-party I had attended back in my old life, I had no desire to repeat the experience. _I was definitely not going to sleep with a teacher and get hit by a car this weekend_.

Bella and Edward ate lunch together again, with Edward giving Bella the third degree about her likes and interests. I was so tempted just to listen in, but that would make carrying on a regular conversation with my classmates difficult.

The next day went fairly quickly. Bella tried to tell me that her date with Edward had been cancelled on the weekend. I didn't believe it for a second. She was trying to stop people from thinking about it, so that if something went wrong, the Cullens wouldn't be automatically implicated.

Excitement was starting to mount up around the school about the dance and even Bella noticed it. Edward and Alice left early at lunchtime on Friday and Bella came home with me in the truck. The biggest weekend in the _Twilight_ novel was coming and all I could do was hope that I was prepared.

"Jen? Have fun at the dance tomorrow," she said, as we were getting ready for bed Friday night.

"Have fun with Edward," I replied.

Bella frowned. "No, Edward cancelled. I told you that."

Rolling my eyes, I sighed. "Do you think I'm stupid? Everyone else may believe that crap, but I don't."

Bella opened her mouth to speak, but I cut her off. "No, Bella, don't argue. You may be trying to protect Edward and his family, but don't forget that I know all about the Cullens."

"Bu-"

"No buts. Bella, I'm sure Edward will be relieved to know that I expect him to bring you back tomorrow."

Bella smiled. "I kind of want to come back, too."

She sat down on the bed, and I wrapped my arm around her. "Bella, you will come back. You have to come back."

Her lip quivered. "I don't know how I'll sleep tonight."

"Nervous?"

Bella gulped. "Yeah."

"You'll be fine, Bella. Edward will bring you back." I tapped my temple. "I know these things."

"But…what if he doesn't? I can't stand the idea of…something bad…happening, and leaving you all on your own and-"

"Bella! Don't think so much. I have Charlie and Renee, remember? I won't be on my own. Nothing will happen tomorrow."

A tiny voice in my head whispered _Yet. Bella won't be leaving you yet. But one day she will_…

I grimaced and put on a brave face. "Time for bed. Go on, hop in. I'm sleeping on the couch tonight. You would probably keep me awake with all your babbling."

"That's true. Goodnight, Jenny."

"Goodnight, Bella."

* * *

Thank you all for your support. The next chapter is already half written (what the hell?) so I'll hopefully be updating much quicker, unless there is a natural disaster or I get the plague again. :) Let me know what you think! Jess x


	18. Chapter 18

Why hello again everyone! Another chapter! I think I got to all your review replies (and a few I missed last chapter), so hooray.

Before you read this chapter, you should go take a listen on Youtube at these two songs:

Mr. Brightside by The Killers

The Flame by Cheap Trick..

Are you back? Great! :) Thanks to lharkcom and flibbertigidget again for betaing. Please check out their new story "Life in Postscript". It is amazing.

On with the show!

* * *

Chapter 18 - Cheers

_I was being chased down the dark street by a group of men, all calling out to me._

"_Come here, beautiful, we just want to talk!"_

"_Yeah, slow down!"_

_I picked up the pace, trying to dodge and weave, but my legs wouldn't work. They were weak and shaky, and it felt as though I was running through mud._

_The voice grew closer, but I was finally gaining ground! The corner was just so close!_

_A shadow swept across my vision, and a group of figures emerged, blocking my exit._

_I gasped and tried to turn around, but the men were around me._

"_We just want to talk," the leader of the group reassured me._

"_Jenny!" Bella screamed, her voice reverberating in the night._

_I fell to my knees and cried. "I can't do it. I can't answer all your questions!"_

_A horrifying figure with piercing red eyes stepped forward. "Tell me, now, who is Jennifer Porter?"_

I gasped and twisted around, desperate to free myself from my blankets. My cheeks were wet with tears, and there was a wet patch on my pillow that indicated that I had either been crying in my sleep, or drooling.

Rubbing my face with one hand, I managed to extricate myself from my cocoon and swing my legs off the couch. Today was it. This was the big day. Bella had her important day in the meadow with Edward, and I had theday to myself. I wouldn't have to worry about vampires, or Bella, or Jacob, or anything important. It was just me, some girls from school, a bottle of vodka, the music, _and no consequences_. I knew what dances were supposed to be like; I'd seen them on TV. People danced, had fun, kissed, drank, and then the credits rolled.

A part of me hoped that once Bella and Edward got together, I would be spirited back home to Australia. I had learnt my lesson. I had acted badly in my past life; I knew that. It was time to go home to reality.

Somehow, I also knew that was wrong. There was so much left for me to do here. _But not tonight, tonight was for me._

A door slammed, and I looked up. Dashing to the window, I saw Bella and Edward standing just beyond the porch. Not so fast, girlie.

I quickly rushed to the door and swung it open.

Bella and Edward turned to face me. Bella was frowning, and Edward was trying to hide a grin.

"Jen? You're awake." I could feel Bella's irritation. _I didn't want you to wake up_.

I rolled my eyes. "Edward. You bring her back, you hear?"

Edward's smile disappeared. "I will," he said smoothly.

"You better."

"I know."

Bella was watching this exchange with narrowed eyes. "How do you know-"

I waved my arms around. "Edward will tell you. Have fun today, Bella. Behave. Don't do anything I wouldn't do."

She smiled wryly. "Sure. See you later."

Bella turned and opened the cab of the truck, sliding into the driver's seat.

I initially felt irritation – how was I supposed to get around today? This thought was overrun by Bella's inner monologue.

_I don't know why she even wants him to bring me back. It's not as if she shares anything with me__; why should I do anything for her? Always keeping secrets, it isn't fair. If I didn't know better, I would think she's trying to interfere with my life… STAY OUT OF MY HEAD, JENNY!_

I blinked and shook my head, muttering curse words under my breath. "After all the fucking crap I've been through…"

Without any further adieu, I walked into the house and slammed the front door.

I leant against the heavy wooden door, breathing deeply. I couldn't believe that girl. The Bella I remembered from the books was sweet, witty, mature, and definitely not jealous or grasping. Apparently, I couldn't have any interaction with Edward. My presence in the _Twilight_ world had made her a petulant child. Maybe it was a twin jealousy thing? Bella finally had something that belonged to her, and she didn't want to share any part of it with me? Well, sorry to burst your bubble, girl, but your world involves me whether either of us like it or not.

Pushing myself away from the door, I resolved not to let Bella's poor attitude get in the way of my day. Tomorrow would be the day that the nomads came, that baseball happened, the day everything goes wrong. Today would go right for Bella and Edward, it was tomorrow that was the problem. That meant that today would be my day off…

* * *

"Hold still, Jennifer Swan, or I'll burn your ear again!"

"Sorry, Lauren." I shoved my fingers under my butt and tried to sit still.

Lauren wrapped another tendril or hair around the curling iron and held it close to my head.

"Do you have to pull it so tight?" I winced.

"We've got hours until the dance, Jen, I don't want it to drop out!"

"Right."

I was sitting on the edge of Lauren's bed, faithfully allowing Lauren to curl my hair. She had promised that it would look 'magical' with my long green dress, but with my thick curly hair, I was afraid I would end up looking like a brunette Barbie doll.

Lauren's room was kind of small, but tightly packed with girly junk. Her dresser was covered in bottles and sprays, all of which looked a bit sticky and dirty; they were well used. I had a feeling that once the fake tan trend hit in about two years, Lauren was definitely going to be one of those orange plastics.

She had a double bed that was ensconced in a lurid pink bedspread. Lauren had informed me that I was the lucky girl who got to share the double with her – pending, of course, the amount of male action she managed to secure on the night. Yay for me.

Jessica was relaxing in a wicker chair next to the bed, her hair coiled around large hot rollers. She had an issue of _Cosmo _open, and by the looks of her screwed up face, she was trying to do a quiz.

"Do you think I am more likely to 'walk right up to a guy and say 'hi''? Or to 'give him a flirty smile from across the room'?"

Yep, definitely a quiz.

Angela came in from the bathroom, combing her newly dried hair. "Are there any other options?"

"There's 'look awkwardly at my feet, and hope he notices me?'"

I blew a raspberry. "Boo, not that one. Definitely 'flirty smile'."

Jessica smiled. "Thanks, Jen."

Lauren unwrapped my curl and wound it around her finger whilst spraying it copiously with hair spray. "What about me?"

"You're definitely an 'approach' kind of girl, like me."

Lauren combed out another section of hair. "Too right."

"Hey, Ang? Can you look in my bag?" I asked, pointing towards the corner where I'd stashed my things.

"Sure," she said. "What for?"

"My alcohol." I said, and was rewarded with the squeals of Lauren and Jessica.

Angela sighed. "I don't want any part of this."

"Of course not! You're the minister's daughter, just like I am the police chief's daughter. We're supposed to be the most responsible kids around."

Angela gave me a pointed look. "But you're drinking right now."

"Only until after the photos, and I'm only going to have one. Charlie said he wanted to come by and take photos, so I have to look sober. One drink won't hurt though."

Jessica rolled her eyes. "My mom is coming too. I swear, she just wants to know everything about my life; she won't leave me alone!"

"Ow!" My ear seared with pain. "What the hell, Lauren?"

"Sorry," she mumbled. Right. She was probably really embarrassed because her mother was currently passed out in the main bedroom, and feeling jealous of Jessica and her nosy yet well meaning mother. Subject change…

_Bella was sitting in the middle of the meadow in shock, watching a white blur flit around her._

"_As if you could outrun me!" Edward cried, coming to halt._

_Bella finally felt tingles of fear…_

NO!

I crushed my eyes closed and tried to visualize a wall, a giant, steel wall that separated Bella's mind from mine. I did not want to see Bella's relationship with Edward in excruciating detail. Sure, it was beyond awesome that Bella and Edward were falling in love, and it was everything I had been planning from the start, but this was supposed to be my night off. A night free of vampires and alternate universes and jealousy.

Yes, I was jealous. It was time to admit it. Bella had a guy to fall in love with – a guy that she was _allowed _to fall in love with. Who was I supposed to do that with? No one here at school, at least, no one that was in the _Twilight _series. None of the werewolves – they were all destined to imprint…even Jake, if I somehow mucked up and let Bella have a hybrid baby. None of the vampires in the book, unless I fancied becoming a vampire or their dinner. They say knowledge is power, but to me, it was a curse. How does one choose a guy, when you already know their happy ending that doesn't involve you? How could I knowingly jeopardize someone else's future, especially seeing as I was already doing so with Bella's life, and risk failing dismally?

It was just too hard. Too, too hard. On top of my _Back to the Future_ complex, I had to watch Bella and Edward get all smoochy. No. No longer. If I could make all the supernatural stuff stop, I would do it in a heart beat. No more mind reading, no more vampires, no more imminent threat of death or disaster. Just me and Bella, sisters, with her having a pretty good looking boyfriend named Edward, and me free as a bird, able to date whoever I liked regardless of the consequences.

A tiny voice whispered in my ear, _'You've already had that chance, back in your old life, and you blew it. Be grateful for what you have_'.

I bit my lip and tried to focus on what was going on around me.

"No, Jess! You're only supposed to fill the cup one fifth of the way with _vodka, _not the mixer. One fifth of vodka, then the rest is orange juice, not the other way around! Do you want to be sick?"

Jessica hiccupped. "Oops, I wondered why it tasted so strong."

Rolling my eyes, I took the wasted drink into the bathroom, tipping out most of it's contents.

"Top that up with OJ now; it won't be too strong."

Lauren giggled and I grinned at her. "Maybe I should be a bartender when I finish school?"

She laughed. "Yeah, to teenagers drinking underage!"

I gathered the girls together; Angela holding a glass of pure orange juice and the rest of us holding mixed vodka drinks.

"Tonight, we are going to have to lots of fun. We don't have many dances left in our high school careers, and this is my first one. Have a great night, girls. Cheers!"

We clinked glasses and fell about giggling as Jessica had thrust her glass forward so forcefully it had cracked.

_Bella was tracing the palm of Edward's hand with her finger. "Is this okay?"_

I gritted my teeth. This night was about me; shut the door, brain, shut the door!

* * *

We changed into our dresses at about six-thirty. Lauren's mother was still MIA, so Lauren had pizzas delivered for us. She didn't want to order food at all, but I insisted that if we were going to be drinking, we had to eat. Jessica kept moaning about having a 'pizza belly' showing through her dress, but clearly she had no idea how unattractive 'spewing up bile' was.

Bella's _wonderful_ day with Edward kept jumping into my brain. Sure, I was happy for her, but I didn't need it shoved down my throat every second. The only good part was that it looked like Bella and Edward had fallen in love the way they were supposed to. It meant my plan was on track.

Charlie and Mrs. Stanley arrived at Lauren's house not long after. Mrs. Stanley kept looking around, as though she was looking for Mrs. Mallory. Lauren firmly told her that she was 'indisposed'. Poor Lauren.

We all lined up outside, in front of the Mallory's rose bushes.

"_You stayed!" Bella squealed._

I bit my lip. _My time…_

Charlie and Mrs. Stanley snapped away with their cameras. The Weber's turned up not long after, with the twins in tow.

We stopped taking photos for a bit, to wait for the boys.

I wrapped my arms around Charlie. "Thanks for coming down, Dad."

"Your mom would kill me if I didn't take pictures," Charlie said gruffly.

I grinned. "I know it must be awkward doing these sorts of things."

Ben was the first partner to arrive, driving his parent's car. Angela was blushing like anything, wearing a great big smile on her face. Her parents snapped photos and off they drove to the dance.

Thankfully, Eric was the next partner to arrive, saving Charlie from the horror of Mrs. Stanley, who was trying to find out if Charlie had had a girlfriend lately. He looked quite relieved when we finished our partner pictures and had gotten into Eric's car.

"You look really pretty," Eric said.

"Thank you. You're looking pretty handsome yourself."

Eric smiled at me awkwardly, before adjusting his tie and starting the car.

We waved at the parents and the other girls, seeing Tyler and Mike pulling up together in Mike's mom's Suburban as we drove off.

Eric and I chatted away about school, about whether Angela and Ben were hitting it off seriously, and wondering if the dance was going to be good.

"Last year was a total bust," Eric revealed. "This year, we're all sneaking in some booze to take, so it won't be a total sober snooze fest."

"Good to hear."

Eric looked at me weirdly as he parked his car in the lot. "Did Bella end up going to Seattle?" he asked.

I sighed. "No. She decided to just have a quiet one at home."

_Bella was rushing around, trying to shower and get ready for bed as quickly as possible so she could be back in Edward's arms sooner._

"Oh," Eric said.

"Yeah," I sighed. "So you're stuck with me tonight. Hope that's not too disappointing."

Eric smiled. "Not at all." He rummaged around in the center console. "I got you something."

He pulled out a small spray of white flowers attached to a white ribbon.

"I didn't know what color your dress was, and white goes with everything, so…"

I noticed that he was in fact wearing a white tie with a black shirt. I should have coordinated with him.

"You're right, white does go with everything." I held out my wrist, and he tied the ribbon on.

"Perfect," he said. Eric pulled out another spray of flowers, this time attached to a clip, which he pinned to his suit jacket.

"Let's go in."

"Wait!" he cried, throwing his hand out. "I got you something else."

Eric rummaged around again, and pulled out two mini prepackaged Cowboy shots. He ripped off their tops and passed one to me.

"To a good time tonight."

I grinned and held up my shot. "To an awesome night of fun and fuckery."

"Well said." We both tipped our heads up and downed the shots.

I smacked my lips. "Yummy."

Eric was coughing a bit. "Wow, Tyler's brother didn't warn me how strong they were."

"It's a shot, you doofus, not soda. Let's go in."

Entering the gym was a bit surreal. It was filled with grotesque pink and white balloons, with streamers hanging from the big lights on the roof. I thanked the Lord that I was wearing green and not pink – I would have matched this monstrosity perfectly.

A DJ in the corner was playing quiet, unobtrusive music; it was clear that the proper dance hadn't started yet.

I heard a squeal behind me, and turned to see Jessica and Lauren enter with linked arms.

"Jenny!" Lauren giggled, grabbing my arm, "It's so beautiful, isn't it?"

For some reason, I didn't like it when Lauren called me Jenny. It sounded so fake and reminded me of the Cullens too much. Edward and Alice called me Jenny.

_Bella and Edward were sitting on the bed, talking_.

I shuddered as Jessica grabbed my arm.

"Bathroom!" she sang, dragging me away. I gave Eric an apologetic smile as we left. Luckily Mike and Tyler entered at that time, so he wasn't alone.

I pulled my arm away as we entered the bathroom. "How can you girls need to go already? We only just got here!"

Jessica slammed the cubicle door, and I heard the sounds of her peeing. "I don't know! I need to go like every five seconds!"

I smiled knowingly at the mirror. "Ah, rookie drinking mistake. You've broken the seal. You're supposed to wait as long as possible before you go to the toilet, otherwise you'll be there all night."

I wrapped a few curls around my fingers, trying to neaten up my hair. "So, are you girls going to get lucky tonight?"

Lauren flushed her toilet and opened her door. "We know you're not, you're with Eric. Ewwww." She shuddered. "I really want to bang Tyler tonight. He's looking so damn fine, I could just kiss him all over."

Ah, a stripper drunk. Lauren loves the boys when she drinks. "Are you going to ride his love staff?"

She smacked me. "Shut up!"

"Oy, careful! Your hands are still wet!"

Jessica came out and washed her hands. "Well, I'm hoping tonight Mike and I will get to first base...maybe even further."

"Ooooh. Come on, let's get out there, before those boys get into trouble."

We trooped out to find our dates waiting with a table. They were all sitting around it, looking a bit bored.

In fact, a lot of people seemed to be bored. Girls and boys lined the walls of the gym, while every table was full of disgruntled couples looking miserable. The DJ was playing techno party music from the nineties, but it didn't look like many people were wanting to dance to Placebo tonight.

I sighed and rummaged through my bag. "Lauren? Come with me to get some punch?"

"Sure, does anyone else want any?"

The boys waved their arms in agreement and began talking about the poor form of the Forks Football team last year. Angela and Ben arrived, so Jessica was able to quiz them about why it took them so long to arrive when they left the earliest.

"Come on." I dragged Lauren over to the punch stand. "I need you to distract the teachers."

With Lauren at my back, blocking the bowl, I quickly whipped out a drink bottle filled with vodka and emptied it into the bowl. I chucked the empty bottle under the tablecloth and used the big ladle to stir the alcohol in.

"Cup of punch, Lauren?"

She smirked and accepted the cup. "Why, thank you."

I ladled out my own cup and raised it to hers. "Cheers."

* * *

The room was dark, with only the disco ball that reflected the 'cool' lights that the DJ had brought lighting the room. People were dancing to the awful music that the DJ was playing, and I was convinced that he thought it was 1980, what with the Grease Megamix and the Kevin Bacon going on. Someone should have told him that you play those songs last, when everyone is too tired to care.

The dance had been going on for a little over an hour, and it was clear that my intervention with the punch had livened things up a lot. At the beginning of the dance, everyone had been standing at the sides of the gym, awkwardly moving around each other to get to the chips and sweets.

Now, though, it was mayhem. It made me grin, watching all the drunken teens rub against each other and knowing that I had improved their night by so much. Sure, they didn't plan on getting wasted at the dance, but it looked like everyone was getting lucky tonight-except me.

The more I had drank, the less Bella's thoughts bothered me. Sure, they were there, but I wasn't getting minute by minute live streaming of her lovely romantic night with Edward. It was a great incentive to drink more, and all thoughts of staying remotely sober vanished.

Eric asked me to dance, and though dancing wasn't really my thing, I felt like I had to, seeing as he was my date and all. First though, I made sure I set the DJ on the straight and narrow.

"Can you play _Mr. Brightside_?"

The DJ rolled his eyes. "Thank God, finally, a song I don't feel guilty about playing."

I raised an eyebrow. "You mean you aren't choosing the songs?"

He laughed. "Are you kidding? The teachers and students have been requesting these songs all night! It's been one of my worst gigs ever!"

"Well, hopefully this song will make your night."

Eric gave me a quizzical look as I skipped back over to him. "We'll dance to the next song."

Eric grinned. "Okay, Jen. I just wanted to say, thanks for coming with me tonight."

"No problem." I grabbed his hands and started dancing like an idiot and made him twirl me around. "It's not like anyone else was going to go with me."

"Don't be silly. All the boys want you, Jen. How could you not have noticed?" Eric pulled me closer to his body, as the familiar strains of Mr. Brightside began to fill the room.

I must have been pretty buzzed at that point, because I let Eric's hands roam over my back, and lower. When he started feeling up my butt, that's when I decided enough was enough.

"Eric," I warned, and he moved his hands higher, looking guilty. "I'm not the one for you."

"What?" Eric questioned. "We get along great, and we're attracted to each other." I rolled my eyes at this but let him continue. "And, well, why not? How could you know?"

I sighed. Knowing the future really blew sometimes. "Eric, next semester will be the one you find someone." I was lucky that my 'clairvoyance' was becoming a bit of a quirk amongst my friends, otherwise I wouldn't have continued. "Sure, we're great friends, but you won't be happy with me."

Eric shrugged. "I'll take your word for it."

We continued dancing to the song, and I found my dance moves getting wilder and wilder. This song was one thing that had survived the time travel, and I was determined to make the most of it.

"Wow, Jen, you really love this song." Eric was standing a bit back from me, a little scared.

"Eric, you know one day, this song will be the song of our generation!" I wiggled my butt around, singing along to the lyrics.

_Coming out of my cage and I'm doing just fine_

_Gotta gotta be down, coz I want it all_

_It started out with a kiss, how did it end up like this_

_It was only a kiss, IT WAS ONLY A KISS_

I screamed the last part, as every teenager did back home. Eric was taken aback.

"_This _will the song of our generation?"

I nodded. "Just you wait, Eric."

_Jealousy, turning snakes into the sea_

_Swimming through sick lullabies_

_Choking on your alibis_

_But it's just the price I pay_

_Destiny is calling me_

_Open up my eager eyes_

'_Coz I'm Mr. Brightside_

Wildly, I wondered what Bella was doing and was assaulted by another awful vision.

_Bella was lying on our bed, curled up into Edward. They were talking. Edward stroked her damp hair, and Bella was inhaling the scent of his jacket._

I stifled a sob. It wasn't fair. I was here at the dance, stuck dancing with guys that weren't ever destined for me, playing matchmaker with my friends, while Bella got to bond with her soulmate. I was still waiting to find out who the AU had pegged out for me, and they weren't rushing forward and making themselves known.

The vision of Bella in love was too much. I dragged Eric off the dance floor and went looking for more punch. After three or four more glasses, I felt sufficiently buzzed enough to forget the image of Edward and Bella together. I knew I wasn't in love with Edward, but the idea of being loved by a guy unconditionally.

Eric and I sat back at our table, grinning at each other and giggling. Yeah, we were drunk. The DJ's brief foray into normal music had gone, and it was back to eighties classics and party hits.

"…_Jenny knows. I just don't know how much. Will that cause problems for us? I mean Rosalie was pretty-"_

"_Rosalie won't be a problem," Edward cut Bella off. "and neither will Jenny."_

"_How? I mean, today it was a problem that only Jen knew where I was going, and I tried to tell her different, but she saw right through me."_

"_Your sister isn't stupid."_

"_I know. But it's like I can't lie to her, like she knows what I'm-"_

I shook my head. This wasn't the time to listen to Bella's overanalysing rubbish. It was my time.

As we sat there sipping yet another cup of the spiked punch, Mike approached our table, stumbling a little as he made a beeline for me.

"B-Jen. Will you dance with me?" His eyes slid a little out of focus, and I could tell he was three times as drunk as Eric and I. I looked at Eric for his permission, and he nodded and slumped his head on the table. Maybe I was wrong about Eric's intoxication?

Trying to forget that Mike had almost said Bella, I got up, and Mike led me to the dance floor. An old cheesy song came on.

I scoffed. "Cheap Trick? Are they kidding?"

Mike looked sheepish. "I requested it. I… I wanted to dance to it with you."

Though Mike was a pest sometimes, I couldn't help but smile at his sincerity. "That's sweet, Mike. Thanks."

Mike pulled me close to his body and whispered into my ear, "You were the first to be the last."

I shivered and this time it was different. I was actually attracted to Mike.

He continued to croon the song in my ear, "Wherever you go, I'll be with you."

It was probably the first and only time that a guy had tried to woo me with _The Flame._

I giggled and looked up at him. "Mike, you know that this is a breakup song?"

He frowned. "My parents danced to this at their wedding." I felt guilty for pointing it out, because Mike was just being so damn sweet.

I pressed closer to him, our bodies swaying together to the song. My head was spinning, and I knew that I had probably drunk way too much, but I couldn't bring myself to leave Mike.

Mike snorted. I looked up at him.

"It looks like someone spiked the punch."

I grinned. "Guilty."

Mike brow furrowed. "No, Tyler did. And I'm pretty sure Ben was talking about getting some Midori…"

"Uh oh. No wonder this dance has gotten out of control."

We both looked back at the tables, where all the really drunk people were getting messy. Eric was still where I left him, dozing on the table, while Jessica slept underneath the same table. Lauren was giving Tyler a lap dance at the other table, and from even as far away as we were, I could see Tyler trying to get his hands under her dress. I should have been revolted, but my drunken brain thought it was hilarious.

Mike and I continued to dance, slowly revolving around. Or was it the world that was revolving? I felt a bit sick.

We were much closer now, and I could feel Mike's whole body pressed up against me. I meant everything; Mike was definitely enjoying our dance. No complaints here, it had been too long since I had seen some peen. From the feel of things, Mike was packing a lot more than fan fiction led you to believe. At that moment, if Mike had dragged me off outside, I would have gone willingly.

Mike's mouth was on my neck, breathing hot air across my skin. I tilted my head up, trying to find his face. This was it. I was going for it. I didn't care any more that Mike was supposed to be with Jessica, and that we were in full view of the whole school, teachers and all. I didn't care if this move would screw up the universe. I wanted to feel; I wanted to touch bodies and know that someone wanted me, after all this time alone.

Thoughts of Bella and Edward kept drifting across my mind. It was like Bella was screaming them at me, despite the alcohol I had drunk. Bella smelling Edward's clothes, Edward stroking Bella's hair, gazing into each other's eyes, spilling out their soul's secrets. It was sickening…

I finally found Mike's face, and his eyes were staring into mine. They were so blue, so intense. Mike was so sweet – it was really unfair the way Stephenie Meyer had treated him. He didn't do anything except love, and want to be loved; isn't that what everyone wants? Isn't that what I wanted?

He leaned towards me, and I pushed my body into his, trying to make them one. Our lips touched for a second, then, after hesitating a tiny bit, Mike pressed his lips onto mine.

I wish I could say it was magical, but I've kissed enough boys to know Mike wasn't a great kisser. But he put so much passion into it that it didn't matter that it was a little sloppy. He slipped in his tongue, and it was nice. I felt so alive. My head was spinning, and Mike's hands were rubbing my back, my shoulders, my waist in a way that made me feel cherished.

A nasty thought floated into my head. _I bet Bella can't kiss Edward like this._

Mike pulled back and looked lazily into my eyes.

"I know that I asked Bella to the dance first, Jen, but you're really hot."

Then he puked. All. Down. My. Dress.

Maybe Stephenie Meyer was right about Mike?

* * *

What did you think? The Cullens will be in the next chapter, I swear! *ducks and hides* Thanks for reading! Jess x


	19. Chapter 19

Hey everyone! Sorry for the long delay, it was completely out of my control, believe me! Review replies will be done in the next day or two, don't you worry!

Thanks to flibbertigidget for rushing this one through! On with the show!

* * *

Chapter 19 - Throw

I stood there in complete and utter shock. My buzz was gone and my romantic kiss with Mike over. I looked down at my beautiful dress, now ruined by the contents of Mike's stomach, then back up at Mike, who was still slightly hunched over and swaying from side to side.

Glancing around me, I realized that the whole room was staring at us. Teachers were agape, while some of the more sober students were covering their mouths and giggling to each other.

My face burned red hot. I couldn't believe that Mike had done that to me.

I took a step towards Mike, planning to punch the jerk off right in the face, but my shoe skidded slightly in the puddle of sick on the ground. I steadied myself before I felt a hand grip my arm.

"Come on, Jen, let's get you out of here." Angela was tugging at me, trying to drag me off to the bathroom, while Ben was trying to haul Mike away. It didn't look like he would be very successful, as Mr. Banner and Coach Clapp had woken from their stupor and were beginning to close in.

"Let me go, Ang, I want to fucking kill Mike!"

Angela laughed. "I think Mike is gonna be in enough trouble, to be honest."

I let out a giggle that sounded more like a sob_._ "Angie, my dress-"

Angela pushed open the door to the girl's bathrooms and marched me straight to the sink. She began pulling paper towel from the dispenser and wet them under the tap.

"I think we can get most of this off with just the paper towel."

I stifled a hiccup and stared at myself in the mirror. A couple of tears had run down my face dragging lines of mascara with them. My hair was no longer in perfect curls, but hanging in strings around my face.

Angela passed me the damp towels and I began rubbing at my chest, wincing at the damage that had been done to my dress. The lace had somehow absorbed the vomit and while the paper towel was getting most of the chunks off, the pale green lace was now a sickly brown color.

I scrubbed until the paper towel began to disintegrate in my hand. I angrily threw it into the wastepaper basket. Angela tapped me on the shoulder and gave me a hairbrush. I ran it through my hair, the strings unknotting and turning into light waves. I used a bit of toilet paper to remove the mascara under my eyes, and I turned to Angela.

"Am I okay, do you think?"

She wrinkled her nose. "Better. I have a jacket out by the table, so if you wear that over your dress, you should be fine."

I nodded. "Thanks for helping me."

Angela smiled. "No problem. You looked like you could use a friend."

"Thanks. I definitely don't feel drunk anymore."

"Being vomited on can have that effect."

I giggled. "Can you wait for me? I just need to use the toilet."

I ducked inside the cubicle and tried to quell my rising fear. What would happen once I left the bathrooms? Would I get in trouble? Would people stare?

The bathroom door opened and two people stumbled in.

"Angela! There you are! We have soooo much to tell you!" Lauren gushed.

I held my breath with anxiety.

"That fucking bitch Jennifer made out with my boyfriend!" Jessica seethed, slurring her words.

"The boyfriend that is currently puking his guts up in the parking lot?" Angela asked.

"Whatever. The point is, when we find Jen, we're going to smash her up, aren't we, Lauren?"

"Yeah, it's her fault Mike was so drunk anyway, she spiked the punch."

There was an awkward silence, which Jessica finally broke.

"I can't believe she tried to steal my boyfriend!"

"It's okay," Lauren said soothingly. "We'll get her. Just clean yourself up a little, and we'll go find her."

I took a deep breath and flushed the toilet. Opening the door, I marched right past Jessica and Lauren to wash my hands. In the reflection of the mirror, I could see the pair of them advancing on me.

"What the hell do you think you're doing, Swan?"

I turned off the tap and turned to face Jessica. 'Washing my hands." I reached past her for the paper towel and dried my hands quickly.

"Nice dress," Lauren smirked, looking pointedly at my ruined front.

"Thanks," I said brightly, smiling at Jess. "It's covered with the contents of your boyfriend's stomach."

"You bitch." She lunged at me, and I instinctively pushed her to the side, so that she flew past me.

Suddenly Lauren was behind me, trying to pin my arms back. Jessica turned and pulled her arm back, ready to punch.

Something inside me snapped. I knew how to defend myself. Jennifer Porter never had any trouble in a fight; she used to kick ass.

I swung my leg up and caught Jessica in the stomach, making her cry out and double over. Lauren's grip loosened, and I pulled myself free. I turned and punched her hard in the face. Her nose cracked and blood began to stream out of it.

"You broke my nose!" she cried, rushing to the mirror.

Jessica had gotten up and was swaying towards me. "How dare you-"

My fist connected with her cheek and she squealed.

I brushed myself down, watching the two girls fuss over their injuries in the mirror. Angela was standing pressed against the handtowel dispenser with a look of horror on her face.

"Thanks for the offer of a jacket, Angela, but I'm just going to go home. Enjoy the rest of the dance."

I smiled at her and left the toilets. Holding my head high, I marched past the people on the dance floor, past students who were still sniggering about Mike, to where I had left my bag. Our table was unoccupied except for Ben.

"Eric wanted to tell you that he went home…actually he got sent home. His mom had to come pick him up."

"Thanks, Ben. Angela is still in the bathroom."

"Cool."

I rummaged through my purse, looking for my cell phone. A thought occurred to me.

"If you also spiked the punch, how come you aren't wasted?"

Ben looked away guiltily. "I may have been bluffing. I wanted to fit in, you know, but Angie and I really aren't into that kind of thing."

I clapped him on the shoulder. "Probably a good idea. I'm actually considering giving up the drinking myself. Thank Angela for looking after me, would you?"

"No worries. See you on Monday, Jen."

"See you."

Still looking for my phone, I walked right out of the gym.

Outside in the cool night air, it was hard to think that merely fifteen minutes ago I had been locking lips with _Mike Newton_. What the hell was I thinking? I finally located my cell and was disappointed to see that it was off. Dead battery. Stupid early mobile phone models!

My plan_ had_ been to ring Charlie and get him to pick me up, but without a phone that wasn't going to work. I could have gone back into the dance to use the school phone, but I really didn't want to face my classmates, or risk running into Jessica or Lauren.

I took a deep breath, slipped off my high heels and began walking briskly in the direction of home. It was a fair walk, about half an hour, but the fresh air was making my head feel clearer, and it felt better having something to do. Sitting at school and dwelling on the problem of getting home wasn't going to solve anything.

Ignoring the burning of rough gravel on my bare feet, I crossed the highway quickly. I walked a few feet from the road's edge, knowing what could happen if I walked too close to the road. Tonight wasn't a good night to get hit by a car.

I turned down a small side road, bringing me closer to the main street of Forks. Normally, I would have avoided any sort of road that was 'side' or 'small' just for safety's sake, but a tiny town like Forks wouldn't have any sort of abductors, right?

As I thought this, a flash of headlights startled me. I was silly to think that there would be no cars on the road. I rubbed my chilly arms with my hands and kept walking with my eyes focused dead ahead of me. They were probably just driving home from the dance…nothing suspicious really.

That was until the car slowed right next to me, crawling along the road at my pace. I took a deep breath and walked a bit faster, eyes forward, my mind determined on my destination – the end of the road ahead.

The electric whir of the passenger window opening scared me, and I jumped a little, involuntarily glancing into the red car to see Rosalie driving and Alice hanging out of the window.

I turned my head straight again and focused on the path ahead. I _did not_ want to deal with the Cullens tonight, not after the rotten evening I had experienced.

"Jenny!" Alice called. I picked up the pace, determined not to acknowledge them. I just wanted to get home…

"You can't go home, Jenny! Not tonight!"

I stopped, and the red convertible stopped alongside me.

"Why can't I go home?"

Alice sighed. "Because Edward and Bella are there. If you walk in half-drunk and upset, covered in vomit, do you think that might disturb them? Right now, Bella is peacefully sleeping next to Edward; you coming home would disturb them."

"Do you think I really care?" I asked, feeling rather petulant.

"Yes. Get in the car."

"But it's my home too!"

"Jen," Rosalie warned, "get in the car. Don't make me come and get you."

I looked up and down the street. No sign of anyone else; she really would be able to pick me up and throw me in the car.

"Fine," I huffed. "But only for a little bit. I want to go home."

Alice got out of the passenger seat to let me into the back. It was a pretty cute car – I felt very safe tucked into the backseat.

"You can't go home." Rosalie said as Alice shut the door. "Don't you understand that? It would ruin everything."

"I've seen what happens, Jenny. Bella will get up and try to help you clean off, and you will get into a massive fight. Edward would go home."

I sighed. "You're right. I guess it would probably make him start thinking about leaving Bella too, you know. Forcing her to have a human life with her sister or some crap."

Alice sniffed. "You seem to know a lot about Edward's motives, Jenny."

"What can I say? I know how it ends." …_and I read Midnight Sun a million times_."

I laid my head back against the comfortable seat and closed my eyes. I was so tired. Alice and Rosalie's voices seemed to come from a million miles away, and I let my mind drift …

I opened my eyes with a start. I was in a pale room with white walls. The moon shone in through a large window that covered one side of the room, spilling light across the bed. I was nestled in a large double bed, wrapped in many layers and covers. My purse was sitting next to me on the table, and I realized with a jolt that someone had changed me; I was wearing pajamas.

I pulled the cover up over my head and tried to go back to sleep. Sure, it was beyond weird that I was in a strange bed, in a strange house, with strange clothes on, but I was used to weird. If anything, it was a relief to sleep in a bed again, instead of our rickety old couch.

As I curled into a tiny ball, someone gently shook me. I groaned.

"Go away, I'm sleeping."

Rosalie sighed. "No, you're not, Jen. We know you're awake."

I poked my head out from my cocoon. Rosalie and Alice were both perched on the end of the bed, watching me. I pulled the covers up to my chin. Freaky vampires; my room was empty a second ago.

"Whaddaya want? I thought I was here to sleep."

"You are," Alice said, nodding. "But I need some important information."

I sighed and tried to sit up, fumbling for pillows to put behind my back.

"You know, it's pretty creepy coming into someone's room while they are sleeping."

Rosalie smirked. "It's a vampire thing. I guess we forget that sleeping is supposed to be private."

I rolled my eyes. "What kind of information do you need?"

Alice smiled. "Edward told me about your gift – how you 'know' things. I need to know what is coming in the future."

I gripped my blanket tighter. "I don't know anything for sure. Things change."

"Explain."

"Pushy," I muttered, and Rosalie laughed. I grinned at her. "I know one version of events, where Bella and Edward fall in love, get together, and live happily ever after. But there is stuff that happens along the way, stuff that is awful and can be avoided."

In my mind's eye I imagined a devil baby ripping through Bella's stomach and shuddered.

"And you want to change those events?" Alice asked.

"Of course," I replied. "Which reminds me, something big is going down tomorrow. There's supposed to be a thunderstorm tomorrow, right?"

There was a short silence before Alice spoke. "Yes, it seems like there will be. Why?"

"You guys will want to play baseball. Edward brings Bella along."

Rosalie gasped. "Don't tell me something goes wrong with that! If there's an accident, we could have to move-"

"Didn't you hear me before? There's a happily ever after. Besides, Bella isn't supposed to be changed for awhile yet."

"Well, what happens?"

"Those nomads will come," Alice whispered. "The ones that have been hanging around the area. Now that I've seen the decision to play I can see the result. They'll hear the noise, and come."

"The nomads coming is bad." I murmured.

"Right." Alice jumped off the bed. "I don't need to know anymore. If you tell me too much, I'll have too much to deal with." Alice came around the side and patted me on the head. "Let me take care of this one, Jenny. This one is easy, really."

I wrinkled my nose. "I was just going to convince Bella not to go with you at all."

Alice smiled. "I have something much better planned that won't make Bella cranky with you."

"Well, that'll be a change."

Alice shook her head sadly. "Goodnight, Jenny."

She left the room, leaving Rosalie still sitting on the end of my bed. There was a long silence that neither of us was willing to fill.

Rosalie spoke first, her quiet voice ringing through the silence. "We cleaned your dress. It's drying downstairs."

"Thanks."

There was another silence that I felt I should fill. "Listen, Rosalie, I'm really sorry for being such a bitch in the beginning."

Rosalie shook her head. "Don't worry about it. I was a bitch to you, too. It's kind of a defense mechanism, really. Keeping people away so you don't get hurt."

My eyes met her golden ones and we shared a moment of understanding. Rosalie and I weren't so different, not really. We both used snark to keep others away. We'd both been hurt a long time ago.

I swallowed. "I don't want to be a vampire, Rosalie. I don't. I want to be human, and I'm terrified that because of Bella's choice, I'll inevitably have to become one of you."

Rosalie smiled bitterly. "You don't want to be incredibly beautiful, fast and strong, and live forever?"

"I'd rather stay human, look after my parents, and live a normal life. With Bella gone, who will do that?" I took a shaky breath. "Will you help me, Rosalie? Will you help me stay human?"

She reached across and grabbed my hand in her ice cold one. "Of course. It shouldn't be anyone's choice but yours, and I'll do everything I can to make sure you stay human."

"Thank you."

Rosalie stood up and smoothed down her clothes. "I should let you sleep. Goodnight, Jenny."

I smiled. "Goodnight, Rose."

I nestled under the covers and for the first time in a long time, I felt safe. I felt secure. I did not have nightmares.

When I woke again, it was well past breakfast. While Forks was a cloudy, dreary place, it was easy to see that it was nearing noon.

It took me a moment to remember where I was and why I was here. I groaned.

In a flash, Alice was in the room with me. "What is it?"

"Holy crap! You can't keep doing that!"

She smiled sheepishly. "Sorry. I forget. I was going to wake you up soon anyway."

I tried to untangle myself from the bed. "Where is my dress, Alice? I need to go home."

"Your dress isn't dry yet, but I made Jasper go get your things yesterday."

"From Lauren's?" I asked, as Alice tossed me my overnight bag from a corner of the room.

"He wasn't too thrilled, but someone had to do it, and it's not as though they were all back. I made him go before the dance officially ended."

"Right."

I ducked into the small attached bathroom and quickly changed into my jeans and sweater, relishing in the feel of familiar clothes. I attempted to clean myself up, rinsing my face clean of leftover makeup and wiping under my arms and boobs with a damp cloth. That would have to do for now.

I stepped out of the room. "Alice?"

Rosalie appeared. "She left, as she had things to attend to. Did you want to go home?"

"Yes please."

The ride back to Charlie's was silent. Neither of us wanted to acknowledge the talk we had the night before, and I wasn't game enough to talk about trivial crap.

As we pulled into my driveway, Rosalie turned to me with a grin on her face. "I'll see you soon, Jen."

"What? But it's spring break. It'll be a few days before school again."

Rosalie's grin grew wider, and I decided to ignore it. Bloody vampires.

"Thanks, Rose."

"No worries."

As soon as I hopped out of the car, Rosalie put the car into reverse, the tires squealing as she sped out of the driveway and down the street. Blending in? Yeah right.

The house was quiet and empty. Charlie must have been out fishing again or something, while Bella, my mind told me, was currently on her way to the Cullens to meet his family. I smiled quietly to myself. I'd already met most of the Cullens, and Jasper had even handled my things! Jen: 1, Bella: 0.

The first thing I did was jump in the shower and scrub myself red raw. I wanted to get rid of the memory of Mike touching me, Mike kissing me, and most importantly, Mike puking on me. I went to the effort of washing my hair, getting the smell of alcohol and hairspray out. I even blow dried it, cursing Bella for not owning a straightening iron. I swore to myself that the second they became cheap I would buy one.

I spent the rest of the morning lounging around the house, flipping channels on the TV and snacking. It was actually liberating not having to worry about homework. I loved the holidays.

As per usual, I got the regular flashes of what Bella was doing. She met his parents; they were lovely. He played Bella some piano. He showed her his room. I couldn't help but grin. They were pretty cute together. Considering that the night before had been one of the worst nights of my life; barring the night my mother died and the night I got hit by a car, I was in a pretty good mood today.

At around two, I decided it was time to do some of my chores. Charlie came home at around noon claiming that the fish weren't biting today. He settled himself in front of the TV, and I continued my cleaning.

I started unpacking my overnight bag, pulling out clothes that were dirty and putting away my clean ones. As I pulled out my mostly empty bottle of vodka, a note fell to the floor. It was crisp and white and folded neatly in half twice. I opened it.

_Say that Rosalie invited you today. A._

I raised my eyebrows. Invited me where? To stay the night last night? That was a lie I could have come up with on my own. I slipped the note in my pocket and, after a quick glance out the door to check Charlie was safely downstairs, I tipped the rest of the vodka down the sink in the bathroom. Walking carefully around my room, I found the loose floorboard I knew would be there and tucked the empty bottle underneath it.

I continued cleaning, dusting the front room and doing laundry. As I was unloading the washing machine into the dryer, I heard the front door slam.

"Jen? Jenny? Where are you?"

"In here, Bella!"

Bella didn't come in straight away, and I assumed she was talking to Charlie. I set the dryer on and went into the living room.

Charlie was sitting in his recliner, eyeing off Edward, who was perched primly next to Bella on the couch.

"Jen!" Bella said, relieved. "You know Edward, right?"

It was a completely loaded and redundant question. Of course I knew him!

_Play along, __Jenny, play along…_

I gulped. "Yeah, Dad, I have English with him. I have math with his sister, Rosalie."

Charlie frowned. "I still don't like the idea of this. When you girls came down to stay, you promised your mother and I that there would be no dates, no boys. No more trouble."

His brown eyes were settled on me now. I took a deep breath. "What if I went with them?"

Bella laughed. "Jen, you don't even know what we're doing!"

I glanced at Edward, and he nodded his head by a fraction. Here goes.

"Well, Rosalie mentioned it the other day and invited me. I love baseball."

They were lies, complete lies, and Bella's mind picked that up straight away.

_What are you doing, Jenny?_

I took a deep breath. _Don't you want me to come?_

_Well, um, it's not that I don't, but…_

Charlie's face was already more approving. "You didn't say that your whole family would be there, Edward. I was under the impression that it was just you two."

"Sorry, sir." Edward said politely.

Why would Edward explain it like that? Surely it would be obvious that the best way to get Charlie's approval would be to turn the date into a family affair? Unless he wanted Charlie to believe it was a date…

"So we can go, Dad?" Bella asked. Her thoughts were already more relieved, as she had been worrying Charlie wasn't going to let her go. Because of me and what I had done last November. _What had I done last November?_

Charlie smiled. "Sure. It's just a group of friends going to play baseball. I'll see you tonight."

"Thanks, Dad." Bella jumped off the couch and grabbed my arm. "We need to get changed for baseball."

"Hang on," I mumbled, as Bella tripped on the stairs. "Dad? I was just wondering, seeing as it's spring break and all, is it okay if Bella and I go up to Seattle? We were thinking of going tonight and staying the night in a hotel, making it a bit of a holiday."

Edward's eyes narrowed. Charlie pursed his lips, thinking it over.

"We would have the cell phone, of course." I added. "You could get in contact with us any time."

"I'll think about it. You girls have fun today." Charlie stretched and got out of the chair. "I need a beer."

He went into the kitchen, and Edward turned to me.

"Going to Seattle?"

"As a precaution… in case we fail today."

Edward shook his head as if he didn't understand. I could hear Bella thumping around upstairs, rushing to get ready.

"Alice will know." I assured him.

"Ready?" Bella asked, dressed in much more comfortable clothes than before. Gone was her skirt, and she was now wearing much more baseball appropriate clothes: jeans and a flannel shirt.

"Yeah, I just need my jacket."

Bella and both went to the hall and began putting on our shoes and coats.

"You know what, Jen?" Bella whispered. "I'm kinda glad you're coming. It's nice to know I don't have to keep all this craziness to myself."

I grinned. "I'm glad I can share it with you."

Bella was shocked to see the huge jeep that Edward had driven in, but my question was totally different.

"Who will be carrying me?" I asked Edward.

"Rosalie, of course."

As I approached the car, I could make out the form of Rosalie in the front seat.

Bella grabbed my arm. "Rosalie?" she whispered. "Carrying?"

I shook my head. _Now's not the time, Bella._

I hopped in the back and slid across so that Bella could get in. Rosalie looked around and grinned at me before pursing her lips at Bella. Yikes. It looked like there was no love lost there.

Edward was now in the front seat and starting the engine. "Buckle up," he instructed, even turning around and waiting until our seatbelts were done up properly.

The jeep swiftly reversed out into the rain, and started heading out towards the highway.

"So how come Jen has to come?" Bella asked, reaching across and squeezing my hand. "Not that I mind or anything. I just noticed that it seemed to be a planned thing, and I'm not stupid."

"I didn't know either." I pointed out.

Edward sighed. "It's part of the plan. I'll tell you later."

We couldn't really talk much after that, as we reached the rougher terrain, and Bella and I were being thrown around like ice in a cocktail shaker.

I was relieved when the jeep finally stopped. Bella looked a little green, and I was fully prepared to kiss the ground once I got the harness unbuckled. I stumbled out into the waiting arms of Rosalie. Bella and Edward lingered in the car.

"What's taking them so long?" I asked Rosalie.

She shook her head. "They need to talk. Come on, let's go."

Rosalie held out her arms, and I narrowed my eyes.

"What? Would you prefer to ride on my back? I'm not a horse, you know."

I sighed. "Just because I know everything about you guys doesn't mean I'm comfortable being carried by a vampire. Or that I've been carried by one before."

"Shut up and hop on. You can ride on my back-just don't wreck my shirt, it's dry clean only."

Muttering under my breath, I climbed up onto Rosalie's back. I wrapped my arms as securely as I could around her neck and carefully dug my knees into her sides, wincing at the sheer hardness. It was like clinging to a piece of rock; short of hooking my legs around her hips, there was no give in her body. It was kind of uncomfortable.

Rosalie reached up with one pale hand and brushed her hair away from her neck. "Don't touch my hair. Let's go."

The words had barely left her lips before we were flying. The world turned into a blurry scene of green: trees, leaves and branches all swirling past. I tried to focus my eyes on objects far away to prevent motion sickness, but we were just too fast, so I buried my face in Rosalie's neck and squeezed my eyes shut.

Suddenly the wind whistling around my ears stopped and, before I could open my eyes, I was dumped on my ass.

"Hey!" I yelled, struggling to get off my back. "That hurt!"

Rosalie shrugged, trying to hide her smile. "Whatever."

"Bitch," I muttered. Rosalie snorted.

We walked into the field where Emmett and Carlisle were tossing the ball to one another. When I said tossing, I really meant shooting the ball across the field with such force that I could barely see the ball. The ball whipped out form Carlisle's hand and hit Emmett's so hard I thought his hand would surely shatter. It didn't. Damn vampires.

"Excuse me," Rosalie said, flitting away to join them. Alice and Jasper were practicing pitching. I wouldn't have pegged Alice as pitcher with her small frame, but watching her pitch once was enough to throw all those assumptions away.

I wandered over to Esme, who was peacefully watching the group from a distance away. Though I had never met Esme, her eyes lit up when they fell upon me.

"Edward isn't here, so you must be Jenny. My name is Esme." With that, she pulled me into a hug. "Thank you for being so understanding," she whispered.

I choked out "no worries", wondering what I was supposed to be understanding of.

Esme let me go. "I know it must be hard…getting dragged into all of this. We are just so glad to see Edward so happy."

I awkwardly shuffled my feet, drawing patterns in the soft dirt. "That's good."

Why was she saying this to me? It would have happened if I hadn't been around; surely they could work that much out. Edward and Bella were destined to find each other, regardless of my approval or acceptance. Hell, it would have happened even if I wasn't there! It did happen!

Emmett suddenly stopped throwing the ball and roared with laughter. Following the line of his vision, I saw Bella stomping her way out of the trees with Edward close behind her. She looked thoroughly embarrassed and quickly made her way over to Esme and I.

"What was that about?" I asked.

"Hi, Esme," Bella said, then turned to me. "Emmett was laughing at Edward. Because he dropped me and I yelled at him."

I shook my head. We all turned our attention to the field where Edward had joined the other vampires.

"Will they start soon?"

"Yes," Esme replied. "They are just working out teams."

"Right." I sighed. "I wish I could play."

I caught the look of horror on Bella's face. "I don't mean _with_ the vampires. They would kill me. I just don't like sitting on the sidelines, that's all."

Bella's face relaxed. "I don't really like the idea of having a face mashed in by a ball thrown like _that_." We watched as Emmett whipped the ball at Rosalie, who caught it easily with one hand. I shuddered.

"Too right."

The game began with three on each team, just as they had in the books. Bella and Esme started talking, and I knew that they were talking about how Esme was changed into a vampire. I moved away a little to give them some privacy. I didn't feel as close to Esme as I'm sure Bella did already, and I didn't want to intrude.

I focused on the game unfolding in front of me. The thunderstorm was raging on in the distance, but it hardly disguised the sound of the ball hitting the bat, with each contact booming as a clap of thunder over the field. I secretly wondered how they didn't break the bats with the force they used; perhaps they had them specially reinforced?

It was exciting to watch, and after a while I felt myself bouncing on my toes. I was eager to join in-eager to play. I knew I couldn't stand a chance as I lacked vampire abilities, but my competitive nature had me wanting to be out there all the same.

I sensed a presence by my side. "Hey, Bella."

She smiled at me, holding up a baseball. "Esme gave me this ball. Want to throw it with me? I can tell you really want to play."

I bit my lip. Bella wasn't the best at playing baseball, or throwing, or physical activity for that matter, but I was itching to do something. I took the ball and grinned at her.

"Go back a bit." I instructed. Bella quickly walked about twenty meters away. I rolled my eyes. "Closer, Bella. You can't throw that far."

"_Good point," _Bella thought, shocking me. I blinked, and she shrugged. _"What? It's easier than shouting_."

"_You're right."_

Bella came in a few more paces, and I lightly tossed the ball to her. It was mildly frustrating, watching her fumble the ball, having to walk in to pick up her misthrows, and deliberately holding my throws back so that she had a chance of actually catching the ball.

At one point, she actually made a great catch, but was so surprised she slipped and landed on her butt. We both laughed so hard that the game between the vampires stopped. It was actually a lot of fun.

Not too long after, Alice decided to end the game. They all came together in a group, shaking hands and laughing. It felt like they hadn't been playing for that long, but I had a feeling that Alice ended it for a reason. If we left the clearing early, we would be long gone by the time the nomads were passing by. If they never came, we would never encounter the situation with James like they did in _Twilight_.

I decided to toss one last throw but misjudged it. Perhaps I was overexcited, or had just started to get into my stride, but I put way too much force into the throw. It sailed clear over Bella's head and into the trees.

"Sorry, Bella! I'll get it!"

Bella looked relieved, probably not wanting to forage in the trees for my lost ball. It was my fault, and it was only fair I found the ball myself.

The wind was picking up, gusting away behind me. I jogged into the tree line, searching for the missing ball. It wasn't easy to find, so I trudged deeper, feeling quite angry with myself for losing the ball.

The storm had to be getting closer as a giant gust of wind blew my hair out in front of me, making it impossible to see. I spat the hair out of my mouth and tried to move it out of my eyes. Why didn't I put it in a ponytail?

A cold hand grabbed my arm, and I found myself flying backwards into the clearing. I gasped as the air had been squeezed from my lungs. When the sickening movement finally stopped, I collapsed onto the ground, choking.

I looked up into the murderous eyes of Edward. "What did you think you were doing?"

"Looking for the ball," I gasped.

Alice was by his side, looking anguished. "They smelled you when the wind blew past. They were closer than I thought. They're on their way now."

I bit my lip and tried not to cry. Shit. I had ruined everything with one tiny misjudged throw.

Rose pulled me to my feet, shaking her head. The rest of the Cullens were with us now, with varying expressions of worry and anger. Anger at me?

"I'm sorry," I whispered to her.

Edward snorted, and Rosalie gave him a death glare. "It isn't her fault. How was she supposed to know where they were?"

I felt myself being hustled to the back of the group next to Bella. She gripped my arm and whispered to me, "What's going on?"

I decided to reply by thoughts. _"There are other vampires. They are coming."_

We both looked in the direction the Cullens were looking… into the treeline where I had been searching for my ball. The trees rustled, and I held my breath.

They were here.

* * *

I'm going to bust my ass to get another chapter out asap! Please let me know what you thought, I always appreciate every review! Jess x


	20. Chapter 20

I'm back! Sorry again for the cliff hanger, I really didn't mean it! I have some good news though. Both this story and my other crack fic, "Vague Summaries and Fan Fiction Cliches" are up for a few awards. Please take the time to vote! http : / / thesunflowerawards . blogspot . com / p / voting . html Remove the spaces :) I am nominated in Best Original Character, Best Humour, Best Vampire Story.

Thanks to Flibbertigidget for betaing this one like a champion! Enjoy!

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Chapter 20 – Phone Call

There was a tense, panic-ridden moment where I feared that we were wrong. The nomads weren't coming from this direction; they had to be sneaking up on us from behind!

Thankfully, the Cullens were right about the nomads, and before I had time to blink, three vampires were standing before us.

I was shocked by how similar they looked to the characters in _Twilight _as they were written, as opposed to the actors in the film. Nevertheless, it was easy to distinguish which vampire was which. Victoria's flaming red hair gave her away, and she stood slightly crouched, as if she was prepared to fight.

James was more relaxed; his red eyes flicking across the group of us. His dirty blonde hair was tied back by a leather thong and, like the other nomads, his clothes were ripped and torn. And bloody, I realized with a shock.

Laurent was probably the biggest surprise to me. While his skin was definitely darker than the other vampires, it was not black as I had come to expect. It was a sickly off-green color, like what you'd expect if a black sock lost it's color in the wash. His eyes were red, and I could feel Bella shaking next to me. The enormity of our situation scared her, too.

Carlisle was the first to speak. "Hello! We were not expecting visitors!"

Laurent's face broke into a smile. "We were just hunting in the area and didn't expect to come across anyone's territory. Please, forgive us if we have encroached on your hunting grounds."

His voice was placating, smooth and convincing. How could he know that the Cullens idea of hunting involved deer and bears, not humans?

Carlisle smiled diplomatically. "It is no matter, you could not have known."

They quickly went through the introductions. As I had expected, Bella and I were not named together, but sort of squashed with other awkward pairings and groups. Carlisle was also very clever to just wave his hand towards those of us at the back, rather than pull us forward individually. It made us more invisible within the large group.

From my huddled position at the back, it was difficult to see James and Victoria, and I had to stretch on my tiptoes to see. James' eyes were searching the group, examining each one of us.

"We thought we could hear baseball earlier. Were you playing? It has been so long since we have had enough players."

"Ah, yes, we had just finished up. If you would like, we could retire to our permanent residence and talk more there? I'm sure you would enjoy fresh clothes and a shower."

"Fresh clothes," Laurent whispered, eagerly looking at Victoria and James. They were still searching the group, but for what?

Laurent then frowned. "But how do you maintain a permanent residence?"

Carlisle and Laurent continued their polite conversation, bantering about the difficulties of living in the wilderness, as well as how the Cullens maintained their lifestyle in Forks.

James and Victoria were growing more frustrated. James was edging sideways, almost desperate to look at those of us at the back. I felt the group of vampires shift slightly, and I found myself now huddled more in the center with Rosalie protecting me on the outside now. Edward had done the same for Bella. I hunched down, trying to be small behind Emmett's great, hulking body.

Finally, James interrupted their conversation with a roar. "WHERE ARE YOU HIDING IT?"

The clearing was silent, except for the whistling of the strong wind. I tried to hold my breath, knowing that my breathing would give us both away. Next to me, Bella was doing the same.

"They are hiding it in their group," Victoria murmured.

My face screwed up in the effort it took to hold my breath, until, next to me, Bella let hers out with a gasp. Thinking it wouldn't make a difference now anyway, I did the same.

"Some of us need to leave," Carlisle said vaguely, "but you are all welcome to stay for another inning. Edward, Bella, Rosalie and Jenny, thank you for playing today. We will see you soon."

Rosalie grabbed my arm and tried to hustle me away, but James roared again. "YOU ARE HIDING MY HUMAN!"

I gulped, feeling very exposed now I was even an inch from the huddle of the group. Carlisle continued with the calm, polite façade, but it was easy to see Emmett and Jasper were monitoring the situation very closely. Almost as though they were expecting attack.

Victoria grasped James' arm. "No, look, can't you see? There are two. They can't possibly want both of them."

James' nostrils flared, and he turned to Laurent. They conferred quickly. I wasn't being ushered away now; the Cullens had turned quite still again.

Laurent turned to Carlisle. "Carlisle, we were hunting one of the humans you possess earlier this evening by mistake. We did not wish to intrude, but were wondering if there was a possibility of sharing? James was particularly attached to this hunt, and we thought that since there were two…"

"That we would share one of them with you?" Edward finished, disdain dripping from his voice.

Rosalie hissed, as did Alice. The hand gripping my arm tightened, and Edward was blocking Bella, almost declaring that she was his. I tried to slow my heart and quell my mounting fear. _They wanted to take me and leave Bella with the Cullens. Sharing._

"No, that won't work. See, we are rather attached to both," Carlisle said mildly.

Laurent held his hands up apologetically. "Alas, we are out of luck today! We are sorry to offend you! Let us go Victoria, James, and let the Cullens enjoy their twins." He inhaled through his nose and groaned. "So lovely. It was pleasant meeting you."

"Likewise," said Carlisle. We watched as the three nomads left the clearing. James kept turning his head to look back at us. His eyes met mine, and he smiled sinisterly. My breath caught in my throat, fear pulsing through me.

He wanted me…for dinner.

"Come on," Rosalie muttered, pulling my arm again. "Come on, Jen."

I finally looked away from the retreating nomads as they disappeared into the trees. Rosalie began to drag me towards the trees at the opposite end of the field. Looking up, I realized Edward was doing the same thing with Bella. We were flanked by Alice and Emmett, who were watching the tree line alertly.

The second we reached the trees Rosalie scooped me up, and away we ran. I buried my face into her chest and squeezed my eyes shut. How could I be so stupid? I knew what could happen; I knew the consequences, and I childishly went into the forest to find _a lost ball_. It could have been avoided, if only I had thought ahead.

_You couldn't have thought ahead_… Bella's thoughts comforted me.

_I knew this was a possibility…_

_It's Alice's gift to see the future, not yours…_

_But I should have known better…_

I shouldn't have come to the game at all. If I had stayed home, the plan would have gone perfectly. If I had kept Bella home with me, there would not have been a problem. The nomads would have passed through without any reason to stop, and they would have avoided the much larger group of vampires.

I wiped my tearing eyes with my sleeve. I was so stupid.

Rosalie stopped and lowered me gently into the Jeep. She rushed to buckle me in, and for once, I let her. I wasn't going to argue with the vampires now. Throwing the ball had been a mistake.

Alice squeezed in between Bella and me, smiling weakly at us. Bella couldn't stop shaking, and I was sure I was a pale shade of green.

"Where's Emmett?" I asked.

A loud thump on the roof startled Bella and I.

"On top," Edward said.

The Jeep was moving now, bumping and shaking.

"What's happening?" Rosalie asked Edward.

"James is a tracker. He smelled Jenny's scent and is frustrated he can't continue the hunt. Now he knows there are two, and he can't resist the temptation…or the challenge."

"You mean he's following us now?" Bella asked with a squeak.

"Yes," Edward answered. "He saw my reaction to you in the field, and he's intrigued by our relationship. He wants to know why I am so possessive of you, and why we will not give up Jenny."

I blanched, and Alice rubbed my arm. "Don't worry, giving you up was never an option."

Rosalie turned around in her seat. "So what's the plan?"

Alice rubbed her temples. "I don't know. There are so many possibilities right now."

Edward swung the Jeep onto the main road. "We will take you both far away, and keep going until James gives up. Then we'll kill him."

Alice shook her head. "Not an option. He won't give up."

I sighed. "He will expect Bella and Edward to be together, yes? If we split them up then he will be confused."

"That is true," Edward conceded. "But he also expects Bella and Jenny to be together. It would be safer to split them up, too."

Bella and I both protested loudly.

"Not an option." Alice said. "The more we split the group, the more danger we would be all be in."

"What if we just split in two?" Rosalie suggested.

Alice smiled. "A decoy. One group lures James away while one group protects the twins. That could work."

The best solution was to get out of Forks, for now at least, and do it in the same way I remembered from the book. The main problem with their plan in _Twilight_ was that James was able to get to Bella and trick her into ditching the Cullens. This time, though, I was here. I knew that James would try to trick Bella. I also knew that whatever he told Bella would be a lie. Mom wasn't in danger, so there was no way of tricking Bella while I was around.

"Is he following us?" Bella asked.

"Yes," Edward replied. "Alice, where should we take them?"

"Phoenix! We'll tell Charlie we are going back to see friends," I said.

"Jen!" Bella hissed. "Charlie would never let us go!"

"I've already talked to him about going on a road trip. I was prepared…"

"Of course you were prepared," Edward muttered.

The jeep swung into our driveway, rain falling in earnest now.

"Pack a bag quickly, then get into the truck and drive." Edward instructed.

Bella and I didn't need to be told twice. We leapt out of the car, bolting for the porch. I was amused to see that Emmett wasn't on the roof any more, until I realized that he was probably hiding, waiting to protect us if need be.

We rushed into the house. "Dad?" I called.

"In here," he called from the living room.

I went inside with Bella following behind me. I could feel her apprehension nagging at me, but I tried to ignore it.

"Hey, Dad? You know how we talked about that road trip to Seattle? How we were going to leave tomorrow?"

Charlie grunted, and I took that as a sign to continue. "Well, because it's raining so much, we thought it might be a bit better to go to Phoenix instead. Get some sun into us while we can."

"Phoenix is pretty far, Jen. I'm not sure I like it."

"We'll take turns driving," Bella said, catching onto what I was going to do. "It's a friend of ours' birthday, and we thought we might drive up for the party."

Bella's reasoning sounded much more convincing than mine. I was glad she had picked up on what I was trying to do.

"It is kind of dangerous…"

"We have the cell phone," I said, "and you know Mom's home phone. Okay, Mom isn't there yet, but you can still check on us."

Charlie grunted again. "I forgot about the cell. I don't really like it, but it seems like you girls are set on going, so I guess I'll see you in a few days."

"Yes!" I squealed. "We'll go now!"

I rushed upstairs with a big grin on my face, Bella not far behind me. I reached under the bed and grabbed the two bags I had packed earlier that afternoon.

"Wow," Bella said. "You really are prepared."

"Of course," I said, feeling light-hearted.

"You do realize we actually aren't going to Phoenix for a _party_?"

That sobered me up a little. "Right. Let's go."

We each kissed Charlie on the cheek and dashed out the door, wishing him love as we went.

"You drive first, Jen," Bella said as we reached her truck. "My hands are shaking too much."

While my driving had improved phenomenally since I had first had the memories of learning, I still wasn't great. I reversed out of the spot and dropped the clutch into first too hard, making the truck lurch.

"Jen!"

"Sorry," I muttered, focusing on getting the truck into second and third gear as we turned out onto the highway.

A face appeared at Bella's window, and we both screamed. It was Edward.

"You idiot! You gave me a heart attack!" I was so relieved that it was Edward and not James, but that didn't mean I wasn't angry.

"Let me drive," he mouthed, opening Bella's door and squeezing past her. It was awkward, but I somehow managed to let Edward into the driver's seat, letting the pedal go at the last second. The truck sped up, and all I could think of was that we were in big trouble if the engine fell out. I told Edward this, and he smirked.

"You're already in big trouble, Jenny."

That put an end to my snarky comments.

Bella's thoughts had been a continual hum of anxiety the whole trip. She was desperate to ask Edward about what was going on…desperate to know what they were going to do.

_Calm down, Bella_, I thought.

She turned to me, frantic. _How can you tell me to calm down? We're in danger!_

I frowned and looked at the road. _Bella, while Edward is around, you're always in danger._

Bella took in a deep breath.

"Stop doing that," Edward said.

"Stop what?" Bella asked.

"Using the…mind…link. Talk out loud. I want to hear."

Trust Edward to want to be nosy at a time like this.

Bella thankfully answered instead of me. "I was worrying, and Jen was reassuring me. She thinks it will be okay."

Edward snorted, pulling into the Cullens' long driveway. "Of course Jen does."

I bit my lip, trying to contain my fury. "I have a plan."

"I know. It'd better work."

"Or what? Tell me, Edward, what will happen if the plan doesn't work?" I could feel the rage boiling inside me.

"I can't see the future. That's for you and Alice to do. You tell me what will happen."

Bella cut me off from my next retort. "Stop it, both of you. We have more important things to worry about."

She was right, and we quickly apologized to each other. The vampires that were stalking us were much more important right now-even if Edward's poor mood was driving me insane. Sure, be worried for Bella, but don't be irrational.

When we entered the Cullens' large house, Bella and Edward were shocked to see Laurent talking with Carlisle. I, however, was unfazed and quickly joined Rosalie and Emmett. I didn't want to spend any more time with Edward than I had to right now.

Laurent made it clear that he was sitting out this battle, that James was dangerous, and that he wouldn't stop until he got what he wanted. I tried to stifle a yawn.

"Are we boring you, Jen?" Edward asked.

All the vampires turned to look at me.

"No, no," I answered hastily, "just tired."

_You knew this conversation was going to happen?_

I bit my lip, trying to avoid making eye contact with Bella.

_I know most conversations that happen, Bella._

Laurent left, and the Cullens started making their plans in earnest. Bella and I were to leave with Alice and Jasper, as I had expected. Edward, Carlisle, and Emmett would be luring James away, using some of the clothes I had packed. Emmett laughed when I told him I had packed some extra dirty clothes to make sure they had a _really_ good scent. Bella had flushed crimson.

To my dismay, Rosalie was staying behind in Forks.

"To protect your father," she told me, with a tiny smile on her face.

I nodded and tried to put on a brave face, knowing that I couldn't have Rosalie protecting me directly all the time. That wasn't right.

Bella and I quickly changed into some of Esme's clothes to try to confuse the scents. I wondered if the fact that our scent would be doubled would make a difference. Perhaps it would be easier for James because we were twins. More blood, meaning a stronger scent.

Rosalie and Esme put on some more of our clothes, hoping to further confuse our scent. Really, with all the clothes the Cullens were taking and wearing, Bella and I were left with only bare essentials in our bags.

It was time to leave. Edward and Bella began their farewells. I tried to block Bella's anguish and guilt from my mind: the fears that Edward would not survive, the love that she was feeling for him. It was too private, too much for me to intrude on. I was sure the Cullens were trying not to listen either.

Rosalie was the only one to say goodbye to me; she ruffled my hair and told me not to get into too much trouble. I told her not to ruin my shirt – it was a favorite.

Edward only had a warning for me.

"Look after her, Jen."

I smiled. "Of course. You go kill those vampires."

He frowned. "I won't stop until I kill him, you know."

"And the female. You have to kill Victoria too."

Edward gave me a funny look, and that was it.

Then they left, and it was just Alice, Jasper, Bella and I. Jasper picked me up, and before I knew it, I was being rushed to their car. Once in the back, I curled into the corner and tried to go to sleep. I tried to forget how I had screwed up, how just throwing that ball one more time had brought everything crashing down. So much for my plans. I was a failure.

Unfortunately, sleep didn't come for me. Bella dozed in and out fretfully, while my mind remained resolutely awake. I kept thinking of ways that this plan could go wrong. The number one way was, of course, James setting a trap for Bella and luring her away. That was the only outcome I was sure was possible. All the other potential failures swirled around in my head. What if Alice and Jasper picked the wrong hotel? What if James somehow found us in Phoenix? What if…

"You're worrying, Jenny."

My head shot up, looking towards the front seat. Jasper was eyeing me in the rear-view mirror.

"Of course I'm worrying. There are so many ways this could go wrong."

"There are more than enough of us to protect you. You shouldn't worry."

I shook my head. "What if the plan fails? I _know_ it can fail. What if it does this time?"

"It hasn't failed yet," Alice said. "And we don't know if it will. It could succeed."

I gulped. Unless somehow our doubled amount of clothing increased the scent that Edward, Emmett and Carlisle were carrying, I doubted that the outcome would be very different to the way it was in the books.

"The books?" Bella asked. She was no longer sleepy, but wide-awake and staring at me.

I sucked in a deep breath and envisioned a giant steel wall, blocking out Bella and her thoughts. _Get out, get out, get out._

"What books?" Alice asked, turning to face us and frowning.

"Jen thought that she doubted the outcome would be very different to 'the books'. What books, Jen?"

Bella's voice was dangerous. There was no mistake that she could feel the wall I was throwing up between us. I had become too unguarded in my thoughts, and I hadn't explained my knowledge of the future the way I had to Edward.

"It's nothing. Just a book series I read. It gave me tips on how to identify a vampire. That's it."

Bella groaned and flopped back on the seat. Alice gave me a funny look before turning back to the front.

A sleepy feeling came over me quite suddenly, and before I could tell Jasper to knock it off, I was asleep.

I didn't dream, for which I was thankful. Most nights the terrifying alleyway visited me, with the vampires that screamed questions. Who is Jennifer Porter? I didn't know if I could even answer that properly anymore. I had no idea who she was either.

A voice talking woke me. I was in a bed in the middle of a fairly boring hotel room. It was a double, and the other side of the bed was rumpled, but empty. Bella must have gotten up.

I tried to listen to the voice, which was coming from outside the door. Rubbing my eyes, I sleepily shuffled to the door, which opened up into a sort of sitting-room-cum-kitchen.

Bella was panicking. Her voice was high and squeaky, running at a mile a second. It was almost impossible to determine what she was saying, even with our mind link.

"-how could I live with myself when it's my fault? None of you should be risking yourselves for me–"

"Bella, Bella, stop," Jasper said quickly. "You're worrying about all the wrong things, Bella,"

"Yeah," I piped up, making Bella jump in surprise. She hadn't noticed me get up. "As if anyone could hurt these guys. It's a seven to two fight."

"Exactly," Jasper said, with a small smile, "We are much more worried about losing you."

"Why would you-"

"Bella," Alice said, reaching out to touch her cheek, "It's been almost a century that Edward's been alone. Now he's found you. You can't see the changes that we see, we who have known him for so long. Do you think any of us want to look into his eyes for the next hundred years if he loses you?"

It was like a scene out of the book. Bella sighed, and I could feel her guilt subsiding.

I grumbled to myself under my breath. How were any of them supposed to know that someday Edward would leave Bella voluntarily? That if he ever lost Bella, he couldn't bear to look back at them either, and would leave them all? It was so tempting just to sit down and give the Cullens a point-by-point break down of what could happen, but I knew that broke all the rules of time travel and knowledge of the future. Some things were just meant to happen…like the nomads. Perhaps Bella was always supposed to stray across James' path and attract his attention? Maybe it wasn't _all _my fault… maybe it was destined to happen no matter how hard I tried to prevent it.

Bitterness washed across my thoughts. Was there a point in doing anything here? Should I just go with the flow, and let whatever should happen, happen?

"Jenny," Jasper said, "Why are you so…despondent?"

"Ha!" I scoffed, "Of course I'm despondent. My sister is being chased by a crazed vampire, purely for fun. And there's nothing I can do."

I sat down in an uncomfortably hard wicker chair. Jasper looked at me pityingly.

"Sometimes, you need to let someone else save the day," said Jasper. "You aren't the only one that can protect Bella."

"That's becoming more and more obvious every day."

Time went slowly in the tiny hotel room. Food was delivered regularly, but neither Bella nor I had much appetite. At one point, I went and grabbed the deck of cards I had packed in my bag, and Bella and I played a half-hearted game of Snap. Finally, Bella got too restless and didn't want to play, so I kept myself amused with a game of Solitaire.

Bella wandered into the bedroom we had shared. I watched as Alice gave Jasper a pointed look and followed her in. I sighed.

"What is it, Jenny?" Jasper asked.

"I don't know. I hate waiting, and not knowing. So does Bella."

"It's unavoidable."

"I know."

I decided to join Bella and Alice in the bedroom, knowing the conversation they were undoubtedly having.

Bella stopped talking the moment I entered, looking up at me with fear on her face. Alice was unfazed and patted an empty spot on the bed.

I settled myself there, drawing my knees up to my chin. Bella was about to protest, but I cut her off.

"Bella, I already know what you're talking about, so just get on with it."

"She knows?" Bella asked Alice.

"Of course. Jen knows everything." Alice smiled at me, and I nodded back.

"So you've just discussed why they haven't called. Now you're up to the vamp stuff."

"Alice was just explaining how to…create…a vampire."

"Well, go on, Alice."

Alice smiled weakly. "I was explaining how it is difficult to create a vampire. Vampires are like sharks, in a way. They go into a feeding frenzy once they smell the blood, which makes it difficult to stop when creating a vampire. The temptation to feed is too great. It is painful to be bitten, but just as hard to fight the bloodlust."

"Why do you think you don't-"

Alice leapt up. "Something's changed," she said urgently, racing out of the room.

You bet something had changed. We missed half of the conversation between Bella and Alice, that's what. They were supposed to talk about Alice's transformation a bit. My presence had once again altered the future.

Bella gave me a funny look, and her thoughts were filled with terror.

"What do you think has happened? Edward…Esme…"

I shook my head. "It will be nothing. Come on."

We went back into the sitting room. As I had expected all along, the plan to trick James had failed. He had worked out that neither Bella nor I were with Edward and had fled. They talked about the room, the mirror room, where Bella would eventually meet James. They talked about the dark room with the VCR, the one James would be in first. Then the silver phone rang. Alice had a quick conversation before handing the phone to Bella.

It was too much. I couldn't process what to do. Did I let everything play out the way it was meant to? Should I take Jasper's advice and let other people take care of Bella? Or should I take control?

I got up and quietly slipped into the bedroom again. I needed to think, away from Bella and the vampires.

I had two options, in my mind. I could prevent Bella from ringing Mom at home, therefore preventing James from having a way to contact Bella and trick her into the ballet studio. My other option was to let her call and make sure that Bella didn't fall for his trap. Then, I would tell the Cullens where James was hiding, and they would kill him. That was ideal, rather than waiting for James to think of another plan that I didn't know the outcome of. But was I prepared to take the risk of Bella falling for James' trick?

I heard Bella's voice, louder than before, and I realized my decision had been made for me.

Bella was talking on a cell phone hurriedly, while Alice looked on. I caught the final part of the conversation.

"-so, Mom, when you get this message, please call me. My number is…wait where's that paper gone again?"

I lunged at Bella, trying to grab the phone off her. "No, Bella! You can't do that!"

Bella frowned and shook me off, still holding the phone to her ear. She reeled off the number and hung up.

"What is your problem, Jen?"

"Please tell me you were leaving that message on her cell phone?"

Bella snorted. "Of course not. She has no idea how to use that thing. I left it on the home phone."

I gulped. "Here in Phoenix?"

"Of course."

I flopped into that uncomfortable chair again. Why bother trying to change anything? It was all going to happen the same anyway.

"Does it matter? How could it matter that I rang Mom? I'm just trying to protect her!" Bella exclaimed.

Alice was watching me with wide eyes. She was almost fearful. Alice just didn't know how badly the current plan could fail. Yet.

"It doesn't matter," I muttered. "I can still change it."

This was it. The big decision I had been putting off and skirting around for weeks, no, months. Do I tell everyone what I know, tell them how I came to be in this universe, and let them fix the damage my presence had caused?

Or did I fix it myself?

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What are your thoughts? Thanks for reading! Not matter how long I take to reply, I really do appreciate it! Please vote too! Jess x


	21. Chapter 21

Hi everyone! Sorry I didn't get to reply to any reviews this time around - I will most definitely be replying to the next lot. I've been busy writing this next chapter, you see. :)

Thanks to flibbertigidget for betaing again! On with the show!

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Chapter 21 - Letters

I had been waiting for Alice to complete her sketches to begin setting into motion what I called 'D-Day'. Once Bella realized that her mother was in danger, all hell would break loose. However, I would not let Bella go to James. As soon as Edward and the others came to Phoenix I would reveal where James was waiting-and _Voila_!-James is captured and killed. Then we go and get Victoria. Happily ever after, right?

The pictures that Alice was sketching seemed very familiar to me. As I leaned over her shoulder, I saw a room with a couch, a table, a throw rug, and a TV. A room with endless mirrors with a gold bar running across them. In my mind's eye I could see the childhood I had never lived. My alternate childhood…and James was in there.

"The phone goes there," Bella whispered, pointing to the bare end table in the first picture.

Alice and Jasper whipped their heads around to face Bella. "What do you mean?" Alice asked.

"That's our mother's house."

Alice was on the phone like a flash, talking almost too fast to understand intelligibly. Bella gripped my arm like a vice, her thoughts whispering her fear.

_He's in Mom's house. What if she came home early? He won't stop until he has us, will he?_

I took a deep breath, still watching Alice. _Mom is fine. She's with Phil. Don't you dare think he can get her somehow!_

_But he's there right _now. _We have to do something!_

Alice hung up the phone. "Bella." Bella looked up at her in a daze. "Bella, Edward is coming to get you. He and Emmett and Carlisle are coming to take you somewhere, to hide you for a while."

"Edward is coming?" Bella whispered.

"Me, too?" I asked.

"That's the plan," Alice said. "They're catching the first flight out of Seattle. We'll meet him at the airport, and you'll both go with them."

"But, my mother, he came here for my mother, Alice!" Bella's eyes were daring around, panicked.

"Mom's fine, Bella," I said. "She's with Phil. Away."

"Jasper and I will stay until she's safe," Alice said, shooting a meaningful glance at Jasper. Ah, yes. Knock the poor girl out with sleep. That'll help.

"Can't you see what he's doing? He's not tracking me at all, he's waiting until he gets someone I love then he's…he's…"

"Bella! She's safe! Trust me."

"We'll catch him, Bella," Alice said earnestly.

"It's not just my human family that I'm worried about. Do you think I don't care if anything happened to you? What if you get hurt, Alice? Or you, Jen?"

Bella looked desperately at Alice, then me. I tried to keep my face impassive.

She groaned in frustration and stalked into the bedroom, slamming the door behind her.

"Should I follow?" I asked Alice.

"Can't you tell through your mind link? She would yell at you more. Don't go in."

"Okay."

Alice and Jasper started making more plans: what time we would be leaving for the airport, lists of places to go next. I was beginning to realize that if we didn't kill James today, my cover story with Charlie wouldn't mean much. I'd be on the run with Edward and Bella indefinitely. It was a future that did not appeal to me whatsoever.

Bella stayed in the room for hours. I could feel her blocking me out of her mind, but she wasn't too successful. I could still feel her panic and anguish rolling over me in waves, and I wished there was something I could do to help.

Once their plans were made, Alice played cards with me for a little while. It was late now, dark, yet I was too keyed up to sleep. I amused myself playing Blackjack with her, watching as she got twenty-one every single round. Then she showed me Clock Solitaire, which didn't rely on guessing the cards, so Alice couldn't cheat. Jasper left to get me more food because I was starving.

"Alice?" I asked, after a while of playing cards.

"Yes, Jenny?" Alice was watching me intently, her big eyes unblinking.

"What…what's the outcome, as we stand right now?"

Alice's eyes flicked quickly to the silver phone on the table, then back at me.

"It's not defined yet. James hasn't decided his course of action yet. Once he does, then I'll know."

I, too, looked at the silver phone sitting innocently on the table. Oh, if that phone knew what calls would come through it soon.

"Can I ring Charlie? Just so we don't get in trouble when we get back late?"

Alice continued to stare at me with those large, dark eyes. "We aren't going back, Jen."

"Yes, we are. We will, after James has been caught."

Alice passed me the phone with an unreadable expression on her face.

I quickly rang Charlie and made up some lie about the truck having problems and, while we made it to Phoenix, we had to take it to the mechanics. In short, we were stuck until they could order new parts. Charlie, bless his soul, offered to come and get us, but I quickly talked him out of it.

"Love you, Dad."

"Love you, too, Jenny."

I gave the phone back to Alice. "Thanks."

She cocked her head to the side. "You always interfere."

I wrinkled my forehead. "Of course. So do you."

We sat in silence for some time until Alice broke it. "It was what scared me about you at first. Every time I had a vision of Edward and Bella, it was almost always followed by a vision of you, interfering. I didn't understand why."

I grinned. "I'm sure it gave you a heart attack in the school car park."

Alice smiled wryly at my joke. "Yes. That one was very quick, though. The Port Angeles incident was worse. I could see awful visions of what would happen to Bella…then you joined her in them. You have no idea how close you came to being a victim, too, you know?"

I shook my head. "I never knew that was a possibility."

"How could you? It deviates from the future you know. Your future knowledge is fixed. Mine is flexible, it changes by the minute."

"I'm terrified that one day, the future I know will be so far flung from this reality, that I won't know what to do." There, I had said it. The biggest fear that was plaguing me: the unknown.

"You would be normal. Living life the way the rest of them do."

"I guess. But knowing what is coming is the only thing keeping me sane. This world is crazy, you know? Knowing that vampires and werewolves and whatnot are out there terrifies me, but knowing what their probable intentions are helps me function. Otherwise, I'd get caught up in the panic."

"You seem to handle it well, Jenny," Alice said. "You were calm enough to save Bella...multiple times, too.

"But not myself. I was lucky when I decided to see if Edward was around instead of barrelling around Port Angeles on my own. I was lucky when I only broke my arm in the van incident. One time I may not be lucky, and what then? I die… but Bella lives, so that's okay?"

Alice looked at Bella's closed door. "You really think Bella would let you die? She cares just as much about you, too."

I sighed. "I know."

Jasper arrived with some McDonalds, and I scarfed down a heap of it. After days of picking at my food, I was suddenly incredibly hungry. I could have gone a big block of chocolate, but Jasper said that was the only place open this late. Bella stayed in her room, and I saved her some, knowing she would most likely emerge from her panic induced zombie state soon.

Alice and Jasper shared a look, and Jasper left again.

"Has he gone to check us out of the hotel?"

"He will soon."

"Oh," I said. I looked at my hands, feeling a revelation coming on. "Alice…you need to know what is coming next…"

Alice froze. "What don't I know?"

I took a deep breath. "In the future I know…Bella is tricked—'

"What—"

Alice cut off abruptly. Bella was standing in the doorway, her hair dishevelled and her face puffy and red.

"I'm…sorry. About acting like a brat. I mean, I just kind of flipped out about Mom…"

I crossed the space between us and gave her a hug. "Don't worry, Bella. I understand. You're worried."

She nodded, then looked around. "Where did Jasper go?"

"To check us out of the hotel," Alice replied.

"We're leaving," she said. It wasn't a question, and Bella's thoughts pricked up with hope.

_To see Edward?_

The silver phone rang again, buzzing away on the table. My heart leapt into my throat, and I waited with baited breath.

"Edward," Alice said, quickly, before talking so fast I could barely discern what she was saying. It wasn't James…it was Edward. James would ring later.

Bella sidled up to me and gripped my hand. Her thoughts came into my mind stronger now, reinforced by the contact.

_I'm going to see Edward soon._

I bit my lip and attempted to hide the doubt in mind. _Sure, Bella._

She raised her eyebrow as Alice snapped the phone shut.

"They're boarding the plane now," she said.

"Let me guess, we're moving closer to Mom's."

Alice's eyes were watching me again. "Yes."

I exhaled loudly and turned my attention to the phone in her hand. It was only seconds before it rang again.

Alice wasn't slow to pick it up. Almost instantly the phone was pressed to her ear.

"Hello? Yes—yes, she's here." Alice passed the phone to Bella, mouthing that it was Mom. Bella practically snatched it away, trying to convince Mom everything was okay.

Except it wasn't Mom. I felt the moment she realized the difference-felt her alarm as the male voice began talking.

Alice was looking at me now with a raised eyebrow. I only glanced at her quickly, before turning my attention back to Bella.

"No, Mom," she whispered hoarsely. "Stay where you are."

Bella's eyes widened, and I could feel her mind trying to slam me out, again and again. She turned and walked slowly to the bedroom, pleading with Mom to stay where she was. Bella closed the door with a snap.

Alice looked at me. "What's wrong?"

I gulped. "Everything. Here is where it all goes wrong."

I sidled up to the door, pressing my ear against it. Bella may have been successfully able to shut me out, perhaps because of her blinding fear, but my ears worked just fine. Though muffled, I could hear Bella's terse answers. Yes, no, no, yes. She was falling for James' lies hook, line and sinker.

The door opened suddenly, startling me.

"She wants to talk to you," Bella said lifelessly. She thrust the phone towards me.

"H—she wants to talk to me? O-okay." With a shaking hand, I took the cell phone. I stepped into the bedroom and closed the door behind me.

I raised the phone to my ear.

"Hello?"

"Jenny? Jenny?" Mom's voice yelled at me through the phone. It was unnerving, but it wasn't her.

"Oooh, convincing. Nice touch there, with the voice."

I couldn't help but be snarky, but it was how I acted in scary situations. Mom's voice stopped, and a man spoke into the phone.

"Repeat after me, Jennifer. 'Mom, Bella's right.'"

I sighed, putting as much sarcasm into the line as I could. "Mom, Bella _is _right."

The generic voice sighed, too. "I could tell you would be more difficult to convince. You aren't as naïve as your sister, am I right, Jenny?"

"Don't call me that."

"I will call you what I like. Bella is going to come to me willingly to save her mother."

"I'll convince her you're lying."

"But would she believe you?"

"Yes," I said. "She would."

"Even after the terrible things that happened last November? Surely, that would have broken the trust between you."

I gasped. "Yes," I whispered this time, "She always trusts me."

James laughed. "Then she doesn't know. More people know about what happened at your last school that you probably think; schools keep records of those sorts of things. Records that were much too easy for Victoria to break into…did you know they fax old records across when you transfer schools? It's fascinating."

His voice sounded like it was anything but fascinated…matter of fact would be a better description. The mention of November already had me intrigued.

"What does that matter?" I asked, trying to keep my voice level. "It was a long time ago."

"Of course," he said offhandedly, "The past is the past. I'm more interested in the present."

"Of course," I murmured. I could hear shuffling behind the door. Alice was getting impatient.

"I'm interested in playing my game – the game where I get one of you twins. Two would be a bonus, but you're much harder to manipulate than poor, sweet, gullible Bella."

"You won't have either of us," I said in a low voice, "I'll tell her everything. She trusts me."

"Everything?" he asked, laughing, "Are you sure? Does your twin know every deep, dark secret in your brain? Does she know about last November? Tell me, who is Jennifer Porter?"

My head began pounding, the world buzzing around my ears. _NO!_

"Where…where did you hear that name?"

"A little searching, a little snooping. Victoria is very adept at avoiding your blonde friend. But I'm intrigued. Why would you care about a little orphan girl in Australia? What's the draw?"

"She's a fighter. She's strong," I whispered again.

"And dead. Like you will be, if you interfere with my game. Let Bella come, and spare yourself. It's easy. I can share. Just remember what I know, what information could be spread. And if you want to find out how much information I know, feel free to come along. Don't tell Bella. Now, repeat after me: 'Thank you, Mom.'"

"Thank you, Mom."

'"I love you. See you soon.'"

"I love you. See you soon."

The line went dead.

James' revelation had shocked me into complying with his requests. He knew what happened in November – apparently, my school did, too. More people than I thought knew…but not me.

He knew about Jennifer Porter. He knew. But how? He had said "searching, snooping". Perhaps… perhaps he had found my diary. Or Victoria had. But all it had was a print out of the train wreck – nothing to flag it as anything more than a scrap of paper.

My blonde friend. _Rosalie_. Had she been hurt? Would she be frustrated? I hoped that Victoria hadn't been anywhere near her.

I opened the door with a shaking hand, passing the phone to Alice.

"How is your mother?" Alice asked, tilting her head to the side.

"She's—she's fine. Staying put. Not in danger…at all. Right, Bella?"

Her eyes were wide, and she shook her head slightly. "Alice, can I have a piece of paper? To write a letter?"

"Of course. There's paper on the desk, there." Alice gave me a funny look. "Jenny, can I have a word with you outside?"

I nodded, following Alice outside into the early morning gloom. I had been awake all night. Huh.

I closed the door lightly behind me, and Alice whirled around.

"What happened? Something's changed."

"That wasn't Mom." That was safe to tell her, right?

_Stop! Stop, stop, stop! You can't tell her! He'll kill Mom!_

Bella had been listening, and was completely against me saying anything at all.

_Bella! Mom is safe. That was a lie. You realize that, right?_

_Is that something we should risk? Our Mom's life?_

_It's not a risk! She's fine! Trust me._

Bella's doubt came through strong, and I refocused on Alice.

"Sorry?" I asked, blinking rapidly.

"I asked, 'Who was it?'"

Bella opened the door behind me, answering for me.

"She meant it wasn't like Mom. She usually doesn't need much convincing."

I turned to her, frowning. "Really?"

_Give me more time, Jen. Please. Don't tell them yet._

I threw my hands up in exasperation. "Whatever. Sorry, Alice."

I went back inside, leaving Bella outside with Alice. Bella could deal with everything herself. I didn't care.

_That's exactly what he wants, _a small voice whispered. _He wants you to let her go_.

Bella and Alice came back in very quickly. I was sure Bella couldn't keep up the façade for long. She was too focused on the sacrifice she was preparing to make. I was supposed to convince her to stay. Convince her that Mom was safe.

Would that end the problem? If I prevented Bella from going, James would find another way to trick Bella into going. He would try again, but in a way I couldn't predict.

Bella went back to the desk, continuing her letter. Apologizing to Edward for betraying him.

_Do you realize that you're wasting all the effort Edward has put in to keep you safe?_

_It's Mom. I would do anything to save Mom._

_Why not tell Alice?_

_Because he said not to._

I grunted in frustration. Don't follow Edward's instructions, but follow the words of a crazed vampire who wants to kill you. It made no sense.

Bella continued writing, moving onto a second sheet of paper.

"Can I have a piece of paper?" I asked Bella.

She shrugged, so I grabbed one. There was another pen on the coffee table, so I used that. I racked both mine and Bella's brain, searching for memories to work out where the ballet studio was. Bella was too intent on her grief now, writing her lovelorn letter to Edward, to notice what I was up to.

I scrawled what I thought the address was on the paper, folding it up quick smart. I sidled over to where Alice sat, motionless, and placed the paper on her lap.

She snatched the paper up, opening it swiftly. She read it and crumpled it, the paper disappearing before Bella could register what had happened. Alice nodded at me.

Bella didn't want Alice to know. She was still following James' instructions. But I was a free agent. I could…

_Jennifer Porter._

The words drifted across my brain. I looked up and realized Bella was staring at me.

_She's no one, Bella._

_Tell me who she is._

_I—I can't._

_Why not?_

_She's nothing. Not important. Whatever James said, he's lying._

_He said you would say that._

Bella's mind slammed closed and, trembling, she turned back to the letter she was writing.

I rolled my eyes. I wasn't fussed about her closing me out of her mind. I knew her plan, and I was quite prepared to physically cling to her so that she wouldn't sneak away. There was no way I could allow her to go to James.

Bella sealed the envelope; I was intrigued to see there were two. Did she actually write a letter to Mom this time?

A slam startled me – Alice was hunched over the table, her eyes closed. Jasper was by her side in an instant.

"What is it, Alice?" he asked. "What did you see?"

"We're going to fail," she whispered, still looking at the table.

Bella paled quite quickly and looked away from Alice. Bella had made her plans, yet Alice couldn't see that. What worried me the most was that despite my own plans to prevent Bella from going to the ballet studio, I too was going to fail. Alice couldn't see me preventing Bella from going to James; she couldn't see James getting frustrated in the dark. She saw us failing, which meant Bella would outsmart us all and find a way to James.

These all-consuming dark thoughts followed me through the drive to the airport. The sun was just beginning to rise, and we had to be inside the airport before it came over the horizon otherwise Alice and Jasper would be sparkly. Bella spent most of her time with tears running down her face. No doubt she was terrified about leaving Edward to face her death. Her mind was still closed. I knew I could force my way in if I wanted, but I didn't want to do that and scare her off. If she sensed I was into her mind, she could change her plan, leaving me with no way to predict what she was doing. She needed to do things the same way as she did in the book; otherwise, I was lost.

Alice was fretful. She kept talking to Jasper, going over and over again to the plan to pick up the Cullens, the plan to split the group, the plan for us to leave. Trying to work out the loophole-the problem that would allow James to catch Bella. Alice kept shaking her head, muttering, "I can't see it!"

I didn't have an opportunity to talk to Alice again as we waited in the airport lounge. Bella was always there, blocking me, interrupting me, not allowing me to say anything. I was growing beyond frustrated. Wasn't she interested in an alternative where she didn't have to go to her death? Sure, she thought Mom was in danger, but if she told the Cullens, they would be able to devise a plan where they save Mom _without _Bella being in danger. I guess Bella didn't quite know enough about vampires, or James, to know that he couldn't really tell if Bella was alone when she entered the ballet studio. It wouldn't be hard to send her in, then have Emmett and Jasper rush James before he caught their scent. If only Bella was prepared to wait and tell. Which she wasn't.

Bella seemed to become more resolved as our wait wore on. The plane was landing in an hour. Then forty-five minutes.

Finally, I decided that all I could do was to just stick to Bella like glue. I sat next to her and watched her give the two letters she had written to Alice. Alice raised her eyebrows – I couldn't see what was written on the envelopes, but she could.

"Not now?" she asked.

Bella's eyes flicked to me. "No. Later, please."

_What are you doing, Bella? _I asked her.

_Nothing._

_Stay. Don't you _dare_ go. _I tried to make my thoughts sound convincing and fierce.

Inwardly, Bella sighed. _I wasn't going to. I believe you, all right? I'm not going anywhere._

I wasn't convinced. I had a feeling that Bella was trying to throw me off course by being heroic and shielding her actions from me. I couldn't come along if she convinced me she wasn't going. Why would she even try that? As if it would work!

Alice nodded slowly, her eyes drifting to me as Bella settled back into her seat. Oh, what I wouldn't give for a psychic connection with Alice instead of Bella right now.

Bella stood up. Alice mirrored her. I was barely on the edge of my plastic seat, tense with anxiety.

"I just…I just wanted to get something to eat…but I just feel…" She wrung her hand around, keeping her eyes on Jasper.

Alice cocked her head. "Sure. Can you go with her, Jasper? I'll stay with Jenny."

"I'm hungry, too," I said, standing up.

_No!_ Bella's mind screamed. _Stay!_

I shrugged. "You two go. I'll catch up in a sec. I just want to ask Alice something."

Bella was torn. She didn't want to let me talk to Alice, but she wanted to make her escape before Alice worked out her plan.

Bella nodded slowly. "Sure, see you soon."

She slowly walked away, glancing back occasionally. I turned to Alice, who had a letter in her hand.

"For you. From Bella."

I groaned. "Of course she would. You have that address?"

"Yes."

I looked in the distance, where Bella and Jasper were still making their way towards the food court. Old Jen Porter would be rushing after her ass and dragging her back kicking and screaming. Would that solve the problem this time?

"Alice, if I don't come back with Bella now…go there, and wait."

I tore away, running as fast as I could. They had just reached the toilets, and Bella was pushing the door open. I waved at Jasper and ducked in the door as it swung back. Ahead of me, Bella was already running, desperate to get away before Alice could work out what she was doing. Fortunately for me, I was faster. Much faster.

Bella squealed as I spear tackled her down onto the tiles. Her alarm shot through the wall in her mind she had created as I felt the bubbling burn of her anger.

"Get…off…me!" she seethed, wrestling against my grip.

"You can't go!" I cried. "You want to die? You really want to die? Leave Edward, leave Charlie and Renee, leave Alice and Esme and all the others?"

"I'm saving Renee!"

She continued struggling. I gripped tighter onto her waist.

"You want to leave me, Bella? You would leave me here with the Cullens?"

"Don't!" Bella sobbed. "I'm saving all of you."

Then Bella kicked a leg out, catching my rib. I screamed. Pain shot through my body, blinding me and allowing me to lose my grip. Doubled over in agony, I watched Bella run down the corridor. I swore a string of profanities as I gripped my side. Bella had gotten away.

I grit my teeth and tried to stand up straight. Wouldn't Alice and Jasper be here by now? Surely Alice would have seen the struggle between Bella and I, and come running to help?

Wincing, I looked around. A bruised rib shouldn't hurt this much, right? Unless it wasn't bruised…a distant memory from my old life reminded me how much it hurt when the car hit me and broke some ribs. The ribs took ages to heal, and every time I knocked them for months afterwards, it hurt like a bitch.

Alice and Jasper still hadn't come. Would they go after Bella first, maybe? That was better. She couldn't get to that ballet studio. She just couldn't. Would Edward blame me for letting Bella get away? I could just imagine his rage. I may have had the face of the girl he loved, but I wasn't her, and I was just as susceptible to his anger.

A thought came to me. _She's not there yet. You can still stop her._

Holding my side, I began moving down the corridor. Clearly Alice and Jasper weren't concerned about me, as neither of them had come to help.

I had the advantage of knowing exactly where to go, without all the clues and roundabouts that Bella had to take. Bella would be catching a shuttle bus to a hotel then a taxi to her house, before walking to the ballet studio. I could save time by just going straight to her final destination. I gathered some speed, ignoring the throbbing, and reached the end of the long corridor.

Bursting out, I looked around quickly, locating the airport doors. Once outside, I saw the length of the line of people waiting for a taxi cab. _Shit!_

"Are you alright, honey?" A kind mother was looking at me concernedly. Her family was milling around her, unloading bags.

"Yes, I'm fine," I said, doubling over again from the strain.

The woman clicked her tongue. "No, no, you poor thing. You need to get to a hospital. Please, take our cab. The hospital isn't far."

I smiled. "Thank you so much. I appreciate it."

I slid into their just vacated cab and told the driver where to go. With any luck, I would drive past her on our way there, and I could just hustle her back into the car. Alice and Jasper were probably waiting for Edward and the others to get off their plane. Then they would follow Bella's scent…and arrive at the same time they did in the book. That was too late. How did I know that they would get there in time to prevent James breaking her leg? Or biting her? Bella was coming out of this whole and healthy, thank you.

I patted myself down, trying to find the envelope with my college money that I had brought from home. That was when I remembered Bella's letter. I was sure that her letter to Edward was full of apologies and goodbyes, but unsure about what mine would be like.

_Jenny,_

_I can't believe that I am writing this to you. After everything we've been through, it's back to me protecting you, again. You've been looking after me so well the last few months._

_I have to save Mom. I know you wanted to stop me, to tell Alice everything, but I can't let you. He knows too much about us, about you. He threatened me with Mom's death, but he also threatened you. If he knows what happened last November (and even I don't), then what else does he know? He could find us anywhere. I think it's better this way. I'm sorry I kept it a secret, that I hid it from you. Knowing you, you will work it out anyway, but I couldn't knowingly drag you even more into this mess than I already have. If it weren't for me, you wouldn't have anything to do with the vampires at all. If I had told you my plan, you wouldn't have let me go. Sorry for the secrets._

_Goodbye, Jen. I love you so much. Thanks for being the best sister. Look after Edward for me. He'll be angry, but he'll have to understand._

_Bella._

I crumpled the page up as a tear running down my face. That idiot. As if Edward will be able to ever understand? The one thing he would give his life up for will be gone. I would have to drag his ass back from Italy next.

Bella had to survive.

I put my head against the window and watched the sky. Bright, blue, clear sky. It was the first time I had seen blue sky like this since I was in Australia. I felt a pang for my old life. For Jennifer Porter, the poor girl from the outer suburbs whose mum died. Who loved the beach, but also loved the rain. Who decided to turn her life around, only to have it taken away in the blink of an eye. Did it hurt when I died? Did I scream? Did I burn?

Jennifer Porter was a girl who wanted nothing more than a sister to protect…someone to care for. A family.

And now Bella was trying to take that dream away from me. I couldn't allow it to happen.

The cab slowed outside the old ballet studio. Fumbling, I paid the driver in cash, mentally cringing at the amount. There went my tiny beginning of a college fund.

Rubbing my side, I stumbled out of the cab into the light. The cab squealed away, leaving me completely and utterly alone. I pushed the sleeves up on my shirt, tanning my arms. I felt oddly exposed waiting for Bella where I was, but I couldn't start a trip to our old house. What if I passed her coming by a different route?

I took a step backwards, so I was leaning against the red brick wall next to the door. When Bella appeared, I would rush her in the opposite direction. There was a good chance I had beaten her to the neighbourhood – Bella would take bus to a hotel before making her way out here. Then she'd go to our house, before ringing James…

_James_. I shuddered. He was probably inside this building right now. The same building I was casually leaning against.

I stood up straight quickly, as though the wall was burning. Taking deep breaths, I assessed the area. For a street in the middle of the day, it was quiet. No people rushing down the street, few parked cars, no noise.

Closing my eyes, I tried to see where Bella was. Was she far? I hated the idea of waiting outside the ballet studio while James was inside.

_Bella was walking up the path to our house, taking in the sights she had missed for so long. The blooming garden that I had once grown, now drying_

_and brown. Mom wasn't great with plants. The place where Bella and I used to play dolls—_

I exhaled and opened my eyes. Suddenly, I whipped my head to the left, startled by a movement out of the corner of my eyes. I gasped.

There, in the slight shadow created by the overhang of the roof, was James. His skin shimmered slightly in the light reflected off the hot pavement. Across his face was a wide grin.

"I thought I could hear a heartbeat," he said casually, as though he was merely commenting on the weather.

I took a small step backwards. He wasn't supposed to come out.

Quicker than I could comprehend, James had grabbed my arm and yanked me into the shade. He then dragged me into the dark, shadowy inside of the studio.

At this point I did the only thing I could think of, after everything that had gone wrong today – I prepared to fight for my life.

* * *

Thanks for reading, please review and let me know what you think! Also, I am very excited to announce that I have been nominated for an Avant Garde award for Best Novice Author. Please, scurry across and help a girl out! It's at avantgardeawards dot com

Thanks! Jess x


	22. Chapter 22

Once again, I have been total fail with review replies. I figured you would all rather me update the chapter than waste a few hours replying... am I right?

Thanks to Flibbertigidget for getting through this one so quickly! Enjoy all!

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Chapter 22 - Fire

My arm throbbed under James' tight grip as he hauled me into the ballet studio. The blinding panic that initially came over me was beginning to subside. Hadn't I planned for this? Didn't I know what was going to happen? Despite being as prepared as I could be for this situation—I stupidly stood right next to the damn door. My stupidity got me in, and now I had to use my brains to get me out. I certainly wasn't physically able to take him on.

Blinking my eyes a few times to adjust to the gloom, I could make out the mirrors all around us. James let go of my arm, and I fell onto the ground. The room was dark, with the only light coming in from high windows along the walls. This dim light was reflected off the mirrors in the studio, giving the room the eerie feeling of being in a carnival funhouse.

"So, which twin do I have here?"

"Fuck you," I said, trying to pick myself up off the ground. My stomach was really starting to hurt now. Damn Bella for kicking me so hard!

"Ah," James said knowingly. "Then I must have the wild-living Jennifer."

"Sure, you have me, but I'm not sure where you got 'wild-living' from."

James' phone rang. It was such a normal sound, the standard ringtone most phones came with. James didn't answer the phone quickly like Alice did. He took his time, slowly reaching into his pocket and pulling it out, with a great big grin on his face.

James talking to Bella on the phone.

I used my mind link to try to talk to her.

_Bella, stay at the house. Don't come here. It's bad, Bella. Mom isn't here, but James is._

I felt Bella's awareness. She could see where I was-see what situation I was in.

_Mom definitely isn't there?_

I inwardly sighed with relief. _Yes! She's safe!_

_I'm coming anyway. I have to save you._

My attention was now back on James, who was leering into my face.

"Where did you go, little Jenny?" His voice was mocking and cold. It frightened me.

"I—I zoned out. Must be tired or something."

James took a step back. "I should think you would be paying more attention. Bella is on her way. Now I will have two."

I racked my brain, trying to think of what to do. How long would it be until the Cullens got here? I was here earlier than Bella was, yet my warning to Alice could mean that the Cullens would arrive earlier too. There was nothing for it but to keep James talking.

"How do you know about Jennifer Porter?" I asked, finally saying the name that had plagued me over the last few months. She wouldn't go away, and here she was, finally, a ready topic that could save my life. I was desperate to know what he knew, and how he found it out.

"You really want to know?" he asked. "Maybe I should save it for my film?"

He produced a small video recorder with a flourish. I rolled my eyes.

"Oh, yeah, so you can torture Edward with the vision of his girlfriend dying," I scoffed. "But he won't care about Jennifer Porter. He doesn't even care about me."

_Yes, he does._ Bella's small voice awoke in my mind again. She was listening in. Smart girl, I hoped she was far away and safe.

James smiled. "That may be the case, but I'm aiming for a fully fleshed out film here, Jenny. Beginning, middle and end. Jennifer Porter can be part of the beginning… the exposition, if you will."

I didn't like the way he said 'end'. It seemed like another word for 'your death'.

"I want to know how you found out about her." I said, standing up straighter and trying to be intimidating. Or at least stand my ground.

James tutted at me. "You can't have everything you want, you know. You're about to find out how unfair life is."

"Bella isn't coming." I said suddenly. "I warned her away."

He cocked his head to the side. "Oh, yes. Your mind link. To be honest, I found it hard to believe when Victoria told me, but the evidence keeps weighing up in her favor."

I spluttered. "Excuse me, Victoria knows? How does she know? The Cullens barely know!"

A memory of the last time I had spoken to James drifted across my mind. _"A little digging, a little snooping. Victoria is very adept at avoiding your blonde friend."_

James was still watching with a smile. The recorder that he held in his hand was on, and the red light was flashing.

"My diary," I whispered. "She found my diary."

"Not just your diary," James said cheerfully, "but Bella's, too."

"She has a diary?" I gasped.

"She's a much more prolific writer, though. She's had so much to write, so much to share," he said mockingly, elevating his voice to a high pitch, "Oh, how _worried_ she was when Jenny disappeared, then came back bruised and broken. How depressed Jenny was, oh what could she _do?"_

James clutched his chest and put his hand to his head dramatically. "Then you returned to Forks, where she was completely miserable until she met Edward. Oh, Edward, how _beautiful _and _intelligent_ he was! But nasty Jenny kept interfering, wouldn't answer her questions about Jennifer Porter, kept intruding on her brain. Bella wrote about _everything_. It was a very informative read, even if it was saccharine drivel."

I opened my mouth to respond, but was just stopped by a small click. The click of a door.

I whipped around. _Bella, get out of here!_

"It seems you were wrong, Jenny. Bella hasn't heeded your warning."

Bella cautiously walked towards me, her gaze wandering the room. She wasn't afraid; she was resolved.

It didn't seem possible that James could smile even more, and yet his grin grew even wider. He swung the camera in Bella's direction, capturing her entry.

Her question was a silent scream in my head. _Why didn't you try to run?_

_What's the point? He would only catch me._

Bella reached my side and, gripping my hand, turned to face James.

James' eyes were black with thirst, and he smiled hungrily.

"Bella," he crooned. "So nice of you to join us. We're going to have fun here today."

_Why didn't you listen to the letter?_ Bella whispered.

_Because I'm not going to let you die for me._

_Do you think I would let you die either?_

I took a deep breath and gripped her hand tighter.

"Not that much fun, James," I said. "The Cullens are on their way, and they will kill you."

He chuckled. "I don't doubt they won't want to, once they see this video. Unfortunately, they are too late. I have you now, and you are both going to enjoy painful deaths."

I scoffed. "Enjoy? I don't think so."

James waved his arm. "I'll admit that was a poor choice of words."

"What are you going to do with us?" Bella asked, her voice wavering a bit.

He adjusted the camera, zooming the lens in on our faces. "I was torn at first. In fact I'm still torn. It's so appealing to me to kill one of you slowly and painfully on film for the Cullens to see—and take the other one with me to enjoy at my leisure. I'm sure Edward won't be able to resist the opportunity to avenge his love. It would make for a very exciting game."

"Who…who first?" Bella asked.

"It was going to be Jennifer. Edward isn't as attached to her and is more likely to pursue me if I have you, Bella. But I am loath to kill Jenny just yet – we still have so many stories to share."

"Whatever," I said.

"You could just let us both go?" Bella asked desperately.

_Calm down, Bella. We just need to stall for time. The Cullens are on their way._

_Are you sure?_

_I—I don't know. They're supposed to be._

James chuckled. "Let you go? After all this hard work to get you here? No, I don't think I will."

James took a calculated step towards us, slowly enough for us to see what he was doing. Gripping Bella's arm, I took a step away, taking her with me.

"Backing away? Are you frightened, Jenny? I thought you were fearless, that you were brave. Certainly, the way Bella writes about you, you would think you were a hero."

"I'm not stupid," I pointed out, "I know when to stay away from jerks like you."

A hand flew out and slapped me hard across the face. I screamed. It felt as though the bones under my skin moved with the force of the slap.

James had returned to his position quicker than I had imagined he could. "My, that was satisfying."

"You dickface!" I yelled, reaching up to feel my face. Wincing, I determined that he had probably fractured my cheek. My nose wasn't broken or bleeding, for which I should have been thankful, but I was just angry that he had slapped me so hard.

James aimed his camera at me. "Dickface? Well, you've put me in my place, Jenny." He cocked his head contemplatively. "Perhaps I should show you how much of a 'dickface' I really am?"

Before I could flinch, my grip on Bella was broken, and I was flying through the air. My flight was broken by a giant mirror, which shattered when James slammed me up against it. Glass showered down around me, and I could feel my bad shoulder pop out again. My head bounced off the mirror, making little white lights pop into my field of vision. He held me fast to the wall, high enough that my feet dangled above the floor.

He breathed into my ear. "Still have unkind words for me, Jenny? Or are you going to behave? You could still be second, you know that?"

_Run, Bella,_ I urged_. Please run!_

But Bella stood there, stock still. _I'm not leaving you here to die._

_You mean you want to die with me?_

James was aiming the camera into my face. "Tell Edward to avenge your sister, Jenny. To come and save you from my clutches. If you're convincing enough, perhaps I'll let you survive this part."

Bella let out a strangled cry. Perhaps she hadn't realized that James' aim all along was to engage in a game with the Cullens? We were just the weakest, most vulnerable part of the game. The easiest to capture… the easiest to eliminate.

I clamped my mouth shut. He wasn't getting the satisfaction of my compliance. I didn't expect Edward to save me, not if I let Bella die.

"Not going to talk? Perhaps Bella will, then. Edward would do anything for her, am I right?"

He savagely grabbed my left arm and bent it, snapping the bone that had so recently healed. I'm ashamed to say I wailed like a little baby. It hurt like a bitch.

Bella barely had time to register my pain before James was upon her, pushing her to the ground with the same ferocity he had used to break my arm. Her head slammed against the floorboards with a sickening thud, and I was afraid he had killed her already.

After a moment, Bella groaned.

"Still with us, little Bella?" James crooned, aiming the camera at her face. From my slumped position against the mirror, I could see the entire room. I could have probably tried to get up and run, but like Bella before me, I couldn't leave. I couldn't leave Bella here to die, not to mention I wasn't going anywhere, not with my injuries.

"Tell your boyfriend to avenge you," he said forcefully.

Bella shook her head. "No, Edward, please don't! Don't!" she yelled into the camera.

"Tell him!" he yelled.

"No! Don't!"

James' face lost its smile, and he jumped up. Then, lifting his leg the air, he jumped on her leg with enough force to break it. Bella screamed, and it tore at my heart. This wasn't supposed to happen. I was supposed to save her from the broken leg, the horrific injuries, the near death she would experience from the blood loss.

Blood loss. That's it!

"Tell him now! Tell him how much you love him, how you want him to avenge you!"

"No, Edward! Don't!" Bella screamed in agony.

I felt around me with my right hand, looking for a good piece of glass. I managed to come up with a small piece that fit in my hand and wasn't too jagged. James was struggling, and he was thirsty. It almost made me laugh, remembering the 'third wife' stories of Eclipse. I had thought Bella stupid then, but now I knew better. Desperation had changed my mind.

Bella knew what I was going to do. She could hear it in my thoughts.

_Jenny, don't…he'll…he'll…_

_I have to, Bella._

I carefully and deliberately cut into my left wrist. Before I could finish the cut, James sniffed out the blood and was crouching in front of me. He knocked my right hand out of the way to pull my left arm to him. He had abandoned his camera and was looking at my arm quizzically. Bella was screaming in my mind, terrified for me.

I watched the blood trickle down my arm, and I knew his eyes were watching it, too. _Go on,_ I urged, _drink_. I needed to stall for time, and distracting him with my blood seemed to be the best way. It was the only way I could save Bella. He'd get one twin, but maybe Bella would be spared.

I watched James' eyes on my arm, knowing that all he was focused on was the blood. The hunt. Why was he waiting?

As if he could read my mind, he lifted the camera up from by his side, and aimed it at my face. He grinned at me.

"Any last words, little Jenny?"

There was one more thing I had to know, one question I needed answered.

"You don't know who Jennifer Porter is, do you?" I hissed, as something crashed behind him.

His black eyes returned to my bloody arm. "No. She was nothing more than a name to lure you in. Nothing more."

James leant his head down to my arm, inhaling deeply, keeping his arm high with the camera trained on me. This was it. This is how I would die.

Suddenly, James was wrenched away before his lips could touch my skin. There was snarling and growling, and above me was Alice, standing protectively.

James lunged at me again, and Alice met him with a swift kick in the guts that sent him flying across the room. Edward was there to meet him when he landed, and he slammed James face first into the ground. James didn't need time to recover though; he was back up immediately, snarling and circling Edward.

"Jenny, are you alright?" Alice asked, turning to look at me. It was hard to focus on Alice's face; there was so much going on that I couldn't take it all in.

"Just bleeding a bit," I said hoarsely.

Beyond Alice's legs, I could see Bella feebly stirring on the ground. Her mind was broken and fuzzy – I couldn't get a read on her at all, and it wasn't because she was blocking her mind. She had hit her head pretty hard – maybe there was damage?

"Alice, there's something wrong with Be—"

Edward lunged at James, causing the pair of them to slide across the floor, tearing and snapping at each other's throats. They tumbled in towards Bella, who was in no condition to move out of the way.

It happened quicker than probably Edward or Alice could have predicted. I, on the other hand, should have known better.

James used both of his feet to propel Edward off him and into a mirror on the other side of the hall. In a flash, Bella's wrist was in his mouth, and he bit down.

Bella wailed piteously, and suddenly Alice was there, kicking James away. That was when Carlisle, Emmett and Jasper arrived. With Edward's help, Emmett and Jasper made quick work of James. His flesh was torn away, and Edward swiftly ripped his head off. James was dead.

Carlisle and Alice were crowded around Bella, who was whimpering. I shakily tried to drag myself across to her to see how she was. I had to see Bella, to make sure she was okay. The idiot could have been safe, but she came back for me. Now she was potentially dying…or changing.

Was it a good idea to let Edward suck the venom out? This could be my chance to change the entire course of Bella and Edward's lives. If I stopped Edward sucking out the venom and let Bella change into a vampire, it would be like skipping right to the end. No _New Moon, Eclipse_, and certainly no _Breaking Dawn_ mutant babies. Could I take such a risk? Or did I do what I always did – let everything happen the way it was supposed to happen. Bella couldn't possibly be angry at me for preventing her changing, as she forgave Edward for it…right?

Halfway across the floor I was knocked flat by a burning sensation down my wrist. My poor, poor left arm. Even though it was dislocated, broken and bleeding, that wasn't the reason I could suddenly not bear to move it. It was different, and somehow more painful than I could have ever imagined.

I screamed in agony. It was fire burning through my hand, like needles inside my veins. I couldn't understand though, I thought I hadn't been bitten? _No, no!_ I didn't want to be changed. This wasn't happening to me.

"Jenny? Jenny? What is it?" a voice asked.

"Get it out!" I screamed, thrashing around. "Please, make it stop! Get it out!"

"Jenny, you haven't been bitten! Get what out?"

"But it burns!" I begged to the voice above me, "It burns so much. In my wrist…please!"

It was Carlisle's voice above my head now. "Edward, you have to suck the venom out of Bella's wrist. It's the only way."

"I can't," he said torturedly. "I'll kill her."

"Oh for fuck's sake!" I screamed. "You won't fucking kill her. Just do it!"

"Hold still, Jen," Alice whispered in my ear, and despite the blood and obvious break in my arm, she wrenched my shoulder back into place. It should have hurt, but nothing could have hurt in comparison to the burning in my arm.

"What the fuck are you waiting for? Suck it out already!"

Bella's mind was registering the pain as she throbbed in and out of consciousness, though she was too out of it to even scream.

_No…_ her thoughts said _…let it stay, let me change…_

_Are you kidding me?_

A part of me wanted to listen to her, to let her change. A much larger and more painful part wanted the agony to end as quickly as possible, and three days was just too long for me to burn.

Edward's face was in front of mine now like a giant, worried angel.

"Will I kill her?"

"No! Stop fucking around!"

"Are you sure?"

"Of course, you fucker!"

Edward's face disappeared, and I closed my eyes. Of all the times to hesitate, this was not it. It was probably too late for us now – we would probably be turning into vampires. It was the last thing I had wanted from this universe, but as I had proven before, things didn't always go according to my plans.

I became aware that I was thinking a lot more rationally than I had been moments before; the pain seemed to be growing smaller and smaller in my arm. At first it was bearable, then manageable, then finally gone.

I opened my eyes, and it was Alice's face in my vision now.

"Alice?" I croaked.

"Bella's fine," she replied, answering my unasked question. "It's you we're worried about. Has the burning stopped?"

"Yes. Did Edward suck the venom out?"

Alice nodded. "Carlisle is going to bandage your arm up now."

She flitted away. I looked down to see a blood-covered arm with a jagged crescent cut across my wrist. The blood was beginning to congeal and dry around the wound. I stifled a hysterical giggle. Now Bella and I would have matching crescent cuts across our wrists.

Carlisle appeared by my side with bandages. "Is this your only injury?" he asked.

I shook my head slowly. _Ouch, my head hurt. _"I think he broke my arm. Bella, Bella is worse than me. Look after Bella, first."

"I will," he said, wrapping the bandage around my cut arm, "once I've covered up your blood. It will mean Alice and Edward can concentrate again."

I nodded and watched Jasper and Emmett stoking their fire. They were alternating between throwing bits of wood and bits of James into the flames. It was a bit sickening to think only minutes ago he had been a live, sentient creature.

I felt myself rising into the air. Alice had lifted me and was slowly sailing me out of the room.

I giggled. "I must say, Alice, you are a very smooth ride."

She laughed nervously. "Time for some painkillers, I think."

I craned my head around, trying to see behind us. "Where's Bella?" I asked anxiously.

"Edward and Carlisle are bringing her," she said, reaching the threshold of the exit. After a quick glance up the street to check for people, Alice raced me into one of the cars parked outside. For all their haste, the Cullens had managed to steal two very impressive cars. I couldn't say for the life of me what models they were, but they looked all pretty and shiny.

Alice bustled me into the nearest one, a low to the ground sports car. The windows were heavily tinted, so it was dark and cool inside. She slid in next to me.

"Give me your arm, please."

Wincing, I lifted my injured arm. "I think it's broken."

She briefly examined it and sighed. "You're probably right. You'll need to go to the hospital, too."

I rubbed my throbbing head with my good arm. "That's annoying. It'd be easier if I didn't have to."

"I know. I'm going to give you some painkillers now. Is that okay?"

"Sure," I said, relaxing back into the seat.

I closed my eyes and let Alice do her thing. I felt the needle prick my arm, and the cool, numbing drugs flow through my body. I kind of just floated away, trying to forget the horrific things that had just happened. The mistakes that I may or may not have made. The consequences of my interference. The damage I may have caused Bella.

The door slammed a few more times before the engine started, and we drove away. I suddenly found that I couldn't open my eyes.

"Did you put a sedative in this?" I slurred.

Nobody bothered to answer my question.

I tried to reach out to Bella in my mind, but all I could feel was a dull hum. It felt like Bella had been knocked out by drugs, too.

"Alice?" I tried to say.

"Yes?" I heard her say, from a distance.

"Did I do the right thing, keeping Bella human? Stopping the change?"

"I don't know yet."

"Me neither."

* * *

Was this what you expected for this scene? Did Jen make the right decision?

I have a quick announcement. After some deliberation, I have decided to split this story into two. This will mean that there is only one, maximum two chapters left before the end of this instalment of _Alternate Universe_. So, if you want to keep following Jen's story, please add me to your Author alerts. I am in no way abandoning this story, and will be writing as much of the next story as I can so that I can be posting more regularly than I have been. I hope you all decide to keep following Jen! She's not going anywhere!


	23. Chapter 23

Hello everyone! We are finally at the last chapter of _Alternate Universe_. It's a monster of a chapter, which is why it's taken me so long to write.

A huge thanks to Flibbertigidget for betaing this final chapter, and to lharkcom and all my other betas I've had along the way for this journey. It's been a year now, and I would be a shocking writer that was completely deluded on basic dialogue grammar if it weren't for all of you.

Please enjoy everyone!

* * *

Chapter 23 - Apologies

_I was running down a dark alleyway, chased by shadows._

"_Who is Jennifer Porter?" they asked as they followed me._

_I could feel them snapping at my heels like rabid dogs and tried to pick up my pace._

"_Leave me alone!" I screamed. "You can't make me tell you!"_

_I was nearly at the main road, thankfully. I would be safe once I got out of the alley._

_This time I couldn't hear Bella screaming, even when I called out to her._

"_Bella!" No response._

_A figure stepped into the light at the end of the alley, blocking my escape._

_I gasped and fell backwards. It was James. His eyes were glowing red, and his mouth was covered in blood._

"_But—but you're dead!"_

"_Jennifer Porter was nothing more than a name to lure you in," he whispered menacingly. "Nothing more."_

_Then his face changed, and he looked like Aro—the way I had always imagined him in the books._

"_Oh, I do enjoy a happy ending!"_

_Another figure stepped out from behind him, wearing dark robes. They threw the hood back so I could see her face. _Bella._ Her eyes were red, too, and she was licking her blood-stained lips._

"_I can't wait to add you to my collection," Aro said softly…_

"Jenny! Wake up, Jenny!"

Cool fingers pried at my eyelids, and I groaned at the bright light being shining into my eyes. When the fingers let go, I jammed my eyes shut again.

The sounds of machines beeping began to intrude into my consciousness. Then came the shouting and noise of people rushing around.

I groaned again. Hospital.

"Jenny! Wake up!"

I recognized the voice now. "Go away, Alice. Let me sleep."

"We need you awake! Come on."

Feeling very cranky and sore, I slowly opened my eyes.

I was on a hospital gurney in the middle of a busy hallway. Alice, perched at the foot of my bed, was leaning over me. Not too far away, I could see Emmett and Jasper, each with a cell phone pressed to their ears. Doctors and nurses kept rushing past anxiously, some turning to look back at the group of beautiful people loitering in their hospital.

"Where's Bella?" I asked for what felt like the millionth time today.

"Surgery."

I spluttered, "Wha-what do you me—"

Alice sighed. "To set her leg. It wasn't a bad break, but they want to be sure it'll heal properly."

I took a deep breath and winced at the pain in my stomach. "Alice, my tummy hurts."

Alice jumped off the gurney and was at my side. "You're in next, Jenny. They're going to fix your shoulder properly, so it won't dislocate so easily."

"Ugh, a reconstruction at my age. I'm a wreck."

Alice smiled slightly. "You're not wrong there. They are going to double check your ribs while you're in there. They think you might have cracked them again."

_Again? _I knew that Bella had probably broken them when she kicked me, but I had broken them before?I racked my brain trying to think of when I might have cracked ribs a second time. I didn't in the van incident, did I?

"You didn't tell us you had been in a car crash."

"A car crash? You mean the van incident. That was just a broken arm, and I'm pretty sure you knew about that one. Remember? Edward stopping the van from killing us?" I tried not to roll my eyes.

"No, the doctors said you had been in a car crash not long ago. Before you came to Forks…here in Phoenix."

My lip trembled. A car crash…here in Phoenix? What was I supposed to make of that?

Alice's brow furrowed. "Don't get upset…Jasper?"

Jasper clicked shut the cell phone and was at Alice's side in an instant.

"Can you…" She waved her arm at me ambiguously. I immediately began to feel calm and sleepy.

"Not too much, Jasper, you'll knock me out again," I slurred.

Alice giggled. "She's right, we still need to talk."

Behind Alice I could see an older nurse approach Emmett, who was still talking on the phone. Though I couldn't hear what she was saying to him, the way she was pointing to the cell and crossing her arms indicated she was telling him off. Emmett gave her a dazzling grin and patted her gently on the shoulder, saying something to her. She blinked several times before a small smile formed on her face. She waggled her finger comically, and Emmett gave her a pretend salute. I snickered.

Emmett turned to me and winked.

"You guys shouldn't be here, right?" I asked Alice.

"No, we shouldn't. We had to wait for you to wake up."

"So you could tell me the cover story."

"Right. That's the first thing they'll ask after the surgery. They haven't bothered to sedate you properly yet because Jasper has been keeping you out. They think Carlisle gave you something low dose."

"Cool. So what are we going with? Falling down stairs?"

"Something like that, actually. You were both at a hotel that was closer to the mechanics where you were waiting for the truck to be fixed. Carlisle had decided to take some of us kids up to Phoenix on a road trip, at Edward's insistence of course. You and Bella were coming down the stairs to meet us for lunch when Bella tripped on the stairs, pulling you down with her."

"Makes sense. What about our cuts?"

"You both crashed into a large mirror on the landing, throwing glass all over you and cutting you up a bit."

"Okay, I think I have it."

"Great. They're going to come out in about two minutes, so we are going to go now."

"Okay," I felt a tiny flutter of panic again. "The surgery will go fine, won't it, Alice?"

"It'll be completely routine. They won't find anything out of the ordinary." Alice sounded confident in her assessment, so I had to believe her. It calmed me down somewhat.

"And you'll be here after?"

"Emmett and Jasper are going home, so as to keep questions to a minimum. I will be staying though."

"Okay. Alice, my—"

"They won't stitch up your wrist, but it will scar. Are you okay with that?"

I smiled. "That's okay. I kind of like the idea of having a matching scar with Bella."

Alice shook her head. "I will never understand you two. I'll see you after the surgery, okay?"

"Okay."

She disappeared, along with Emmett and Jasper. I relaxed back on the bed and closed my eyes. Bella was okay. I was okay. It was all going to be okay.

* * *

My surgery went pretty smoothly. I awoke an hour later in recovery with drips and tubes and painkillers running through me, along with a stiff shoulder that I was strictly instructed not to move. They told me I had cracked two ribs, which was a result of 'a sharp blow to the abdomen'. I told them Bella's foot had caught me as we tumbled down the stairs. The doctors didn't need to know that Bella's foot had caught me there on purpose.

Bella's recovery wasn't anywhere near as smooth. Her leg was in pretty bad shape, and unlike in _Twilight_, it wasn't a clean break. She had to have pins and braces to help her heal, but they assured me her leg would be back to normal in a few months with some care and rehab.

Like I had suspected, Bella had some injury to her head. When James hit her head against the ground, it created a hairline fracture along her skull and swelling in the brain. They kept her in an induced coma after the surgery to give the swelling a chance to come down. I was worried sick. Even when I tried to break into her mind link, it was distorted and wrong. It hurt my head just being in there.

I was pretty out of it the first day after my shoulder reconstruction, but once I had been given solid foods and had the drip taken out, I was much more aware. My nurse wouldn't let me see Bella, which drove me insane, and I yelled at the poor thing so much that she insisted on knocking me out with drugs again.

It was hell lying in that hospital waiting to hear from Alice, Edward, Bella, anyone. Alice had promised to see me after the surgery, but so far, nothing. The doctors and nurses wouldn't really tell me anything, insisting that I needed a guardian present before they could release me. I had managed to get a private room, which was most likely due to the interference of the Cullens. I would have to thank them, though it was annoying that no one had come to visit me.

Early in the morning on my second day in the hospital, I was shuffling to the bathroom when I heard a noise outside my room. Awkwardly adjusting my sling, I peeped my head outside to see what was happening.

My door was blocked by a nurse, and facing her was a slim woman with medium brown hair and wide blue eyes.

"You have to let me in to see her, I insist!" she said.

"I'm sorry, visiting hours are from ten until four. I can't let you in at five in the morning, Mrs. Dwyer."

"But that's my daughter in there!"

"Mom?" I whispered, my lip trembling. _This was my mom. Finally._

The nurse turned around, and Renee smiled and opened her arms.

"Oh, baby. Come here."

Hiccupping and sobbing, I threw myself into her arms. Even though it hurt, as well as awkward to hug her with my one free arm, it felt like home.

"Shhh," she said, stroking my hair. "It's okay. I'm gonna look after you now, it's all going to be alright."

"It's been so scary, Mom. It hurts."

"Oh, baby."

We stood there hugging for what felt like a blissful eternity. Here was my mother, my kindred spirit. If Bella was like Charlie, then I was supposed to be like Renee. After all our phone calls and all the memories I could remember, it didn't seem like I had ever known a life without Renee as my mother.

The nurse cleared her throat, and we broke apart.

"I'm sorry to have to break up your reunion, but Miss Swan needs to return to her room. They will be doing rounds soon, and visitors _really_ aren't permitted to be in the wards this early."

"But you let me see Bella?"

"You saw Bella?" I asked. "They let you? Is she okay? Is she getting better? They won't let me see her."

"She's in ICU," said the nurse. "Their visitor hours run a little differently when the patients are so critical." She stalked away to the end of the corridor, waiting for Renee to follow her out of the ward.

"She's fine, honey," Renee said to me, "She'll be waking up almost any hour now."

I sighed a breath of relief. "You'll be going back to her now, won't you?"

Renee smiled. "Just for now. I'll be back when I can. Charlie is only a few hours away, so he will visit you soon. I think," she paused, looking to see if the nurse was listening, "I think I need to remind these chumps that I _am _your legal guardian and that I do have the right to be here with you, regardless of the time of day."

"You tell them, Mom." I smiled.

"I have some news for you, too. I'm also expecting some gossip. You didn't tell me how _close _that Edward boy is to your sister. He hasn't left her side for a second!"

I couldn't help the giggled that escaped me. She had NO idea. "He's very protective."

The nurse called softly up the corridor, "If you're finished having your gossip session, I'd like to leave the patients to their sleep."

"Right," Renee said, kissing me a big kiss on the forehead. "I'll be back in a few hours, baby. We haven't forgotten about you, okay?"

"Okay, spring me out of here soon, Mom. I don't need to be in here anymore."

"Of course. Bye, baby."

Renee followed the nurse out of the hall, making funny gestures at her back as they walked. Shaking my head, I returned to my room, forgetting all about my bathroom trip.

Things got a lot better for me once Renee was around. I was getting more information about Bella now, and more information about myself. I had different doctors—nicer ones, who I assumed my mom had called in. It made sense, as it was our old hospital, after all. One doctor, who I swore I had never met before, kept referring to me by name and joking about how often I was in with serious injuries.

"I think you have me mixed up with my sister, Bella. We're twins, you see, and she's the more accident prone out of the two of us," I said, as he looked over the charts.

"I don't know," he said, wagging his finger, "It seems like you get into a few accidents yourself. Falling down stairs, jumping in front of cars. You're a right daredevil."

I laughed. "I didn't jump in front of a car, it was a van that nearly hit me. Besides, that was out in Forks. How would you guys know about that?"

The doctor looked up from the clipboard. "Out in Forks? No, you had an accident here, in Phoenix. Hit by a car last November. You were very lucky, and you were lucky again this time." He chuckled. "You're running out of lives, young lady."

I laughed weakly. "Right."

I was officially discharged an hour later, though it didn't make any difference. I was still hospital bound, as Renee couldn't leave Bella.

It did mean, however, that I had much more free rein throughout the hospital. I spent my first few hours wandering the corridors of the hospital relishing my newfound freedom, until a harried nurse finally told me to get out from under her feet.

I managed to find my way over to the ICU and checked all the rooms until I found the one Bella was being kept in. Through a small square window I could see her brown hair flared out over her pillow, and there were tubes protruding from her nose and the inside of her arm. I gulped. _She looked awful._

If I stood on my tiptoes, I could see Edward sitting in a small armchair off to the side of Bella's bed. Craning my head, I realized he was staring directly at me. I had expected him to be angry, or to be relieved, or to be _something_, but his face was impassive. After a moment, he turned his attention back to Bella.

Sighing, I rested back on my heels.

"Still in there, is he?"

Charlie rested a hand on my good shoulder, looking through the window at Bella and Edward.

"Yeah. He didn't look too happy about me being here."

Charlie grunted. "I can't say I like it either. It's good to see you, Jen."

I grinned up at him. "Good to see you, too, Dad. Sorry for how the trip turned out."

"You gave me a scare there, Jen. When Carlisle called me, I thought I'd lost you two girls." Charlie wouldn't meet my eyes properly, staring once again through the window at Bella.

"Come on, Dad. Let's get some coffee or something."

"Right."

We wandered down to the cafeteria and found ourselves some horrible instant coffee. It wasn't too busy, just a few doctors and nurses on break and the occasional family member eating alone. Sitting at a table was Renee, with a cup of her own. She waved us over.

"Is he still in there, Charlie?"

"Yep," he grunted, glaring into his cup. "Won't leave her alone for a second."

Renee winked at me. "It's sweet. He's concerned for her."

I smiled weakly. "Yeah, he's going to be sticking around, I think, Dad. You better get used to him."

Charlie mumbled something under his breath. He didn't sound impressed.

"So, Jenny," Renee started, "your shoulder. Is it feeling better?" She glanced at Charlie meaningfully.

I sighed, shifting my sling a little. "It's too early to say. It still throbs and aches, but it'll be better in the long run. The doctor says I'll be back to full mobility in six months, but it won't pop out every time I get knocked like it did before."

"Rehab?" Charlie asked. He was almost apprehensive.

"Just some physical therapy. Some people have to wait months before they get a reconstruction, so they need much more physical therapy than I will. I'm still pretty fit."

"And your broken arm?" he asked. "Its healing okay?"

"As fine as always. It's more the muscles that are still sore. I'm lucky all the damage is in one arm."

Renee took a deep breath, looking at Charlie. Charlie nodded.

"We're moving to Jacksonville."

I tried to act surprised. "Phil got signed?"

"Yes! Phil and I have already been house hunting and found a cute little house right by the beach. You and Bella will get your own rooms…"

As Renee talked, I watched Charlie's face. He didn't look particularly happy, and he was watching my face carefully.

"…so what do you think?"

"It sounds great, Mom. I'll need time to think about it. I've already moved once this school year; I need to work out whether I'm prepared to do that again."

Renee nodded with a smile on her face. "Of course, honey. Don't rush into it. You'll need to ask Bella what she thinks, as I doubt you'll want to come on your own."

"Hmmm." I avoided saying anything to that. I knew Bella would immediately shoot the idea down, wanting to stay with Edward. But did I have to stay in Forks?

A doctor approached us. Renee and Charlie stood up.

"Is she okay?" Renee asked anxiously.

"She's fine," the doctor assured us. "I thought I'd let you know that we are moving Bella out of ICU and into a private room. Would you like to come and assist with the move?"

"Of course."

Renee followed the doctor.

"Are you coming, Jen?" Charlie asked.

I gulped. "Um, no, I'll come by later. After I finish my coffee."

"Okay."

Charlie left, and I stared into my coffee, swirling the spoon absentmindedly. I had a big decision to make. Moving to Jacksonville could be the right thing for me to do. I wouldn't have to worry about _Twilight _and how every decision I made affected the future. I wouldn't have to keep an eye on Bella to make sure she didn't stuff up her future with Edward. It would like having the amazing second chance that the AU had given me, but getting to live a normal life instead of a crazy supernatural one.

But would Bella let me go? I couldn't move to Jacksonville if Bella wanted me there with her in Forks. She was my twin, and we had a connection. As long as Bella wanted me around, I had to be there. I was supposed to be her best friend and confidant, and I couldn't abandon her. I had to talk to Bella before I made any decisions about leaving Forks.

A small vampire slid into the seat across from me.

I crinkled my nose and looked away. "I'm not talking to you, Alice."

She sighed. "Come on, I didn't mean to abandon you in the hospital."

I looked back at her, glaring. "You said you would see me after the surgery, and you didn't! You weren't there! I was stuck on my own for a day and a half in a strange hospital in pain!"

"I'm sorry! I was going to come, I really was! They changed their mind about which room they were going to put you in at the last minute, and the room you were next to had a patient with an open wound who was having blood transfusions every few hours…"

I looked into Alice's eyes, which were darkest black. "I'm sorry, Alice. It must be hard being in a hospital with so much blood around."

She shrugged. "It's not so bad in this room, or in the wards. Just your ward in particular was off-limits. The worst is the ER and the waiting rooms."

"How did you get past them when we came in?"

"Good timing. We were lucky that there were no gunshot victims in the ER that day."

"Yeah, just two broken teenagers."

I swilled the dregs of my coffee around in my mug. Alice just stared at me, waiting.

"Alice, I messed up some of the timeline in the studio. Not in a major way, but in a way that might have affected you."

She nodded. "I saw this coming, all along. I've been waiting for you to tell me."

"Of course you have." I took a deep breath. "The way you were turned… James had a lot to do with it. You were a patient in an asylum, and a vampire working there took a liking to you. Then James came along. He tried to run with you, but there was no hope. So he turned you, so James couldn't have you."

Alice's eyes were glazed over. "That's why I could only remember the dark," she whispered.

"Yes, because that's where they kept you in the asylum."

Alice blinked, snapping back to reality. "Thank you, Jen, for telling me."

I shrugged. "Originally, James was going to tell you…he—he made a tape. He wanted to kill Bella on film to show Edward." I stopped for a moment before I thought back too much on just what could have happened. "I distracted him with my own questions to buy time, and now I don't know how that makes anything different. I figured you should know, either way. Just because the timing was different, doesn't mean you can't know."

"A lot of things can be changed just by timing." She smiled a little. "Trust me, I know."

I traced the edge of the mug with my index finger. "Alice? There's been something I've been meaning to ask you…"

Alice didn't say anything for a while, so I waited patiently.

"Edward doesn't want me to tell you this."

"No surprise there. He doesn't want you to tell Bella either."

Alice slammed her hand on the table. "Alice…" I said.

"You have to know! It's wrong if you don't! How can Bella make the decision if she doesn't have all the information! How can you let her? It's just not fair!"

I leaned back from her, shocked by her rage. A crack had formed along the table where she had hit it.

I gulped. "Well, then, I need to know. I don't care about Edward's feelings, and I can tell Bella without him ever knowing. Tell me, please."

"You have to ask the question."

"Right…Alice? What's my future? Will I get to stay human? I'm sure you've seen it."

"Of course I've seen your future. It was one of the first visions I had of you."

"What's the answer?"

She shook her head. "It isn't as simple as one answer. Every action has a consequence, and for a long time, there have been two ways it could go."

"Two ways? So I stay a human, or I…"

I trailed off at the look in Alice's eyes. My lip trembled, and tears were swimming across my vision.

"I don't get to stay human, do I?

"That's not one of the outcomes."

I drew a long, rattling breath. "It's that I either change, or I die…right?"

"It doesn't work exactly like that."

"Then how the hell does it work out, Alice?"

"It depends on Bella and Edward. It always has."

My mind was swirling. "Can you explain, Alice? I'm confused."

"In the beginning, Edward couldn't decide whether he was in love with Bella, or if he wanted to kill her. Your life hung on that decision too, Jenny. Now he won't kill her, and he probably couldn't if he tried."

"Which means I won't die then?"

Alice shook her head. "Bella is set on the change. It's the only outcome I see for her now, but it's distant and hazy. She could be turned tomorrow, or in two years."

"But I don't want to be changed into a vampire!" A tear ran down my cheek.

"If Bella decides on the change, which she has, then you must change too. You can't stay human while she's a vampire. It doesn't work."

"And if it doesn't work for one to be a vampire, and the other to stay human…"

"Then you'll die. There are other specifics around it I can't see yet, but I can see two options: Bella changes, and you change not long after. Or, Bella changes, you refuse, and you die."

I looked down at my mug again. "So really, Bella made my choice long ago."

"I'm sorry, Jen."

A flickering at the edge of my mind distracted me. _Bella_.

"She's waking up," Alice said.

"I know."

"Will you go talk to her?"

"Soon… can her mind be changed?"

"You could change her mind, but that won't affect the outcome, not now. She's becoming a vampire whether she likes it or not. Edward's not too impressed with that part."

"It's a good thing she wants the change then, right?"

Alice sighed. "I think you should go to Jacksonville with your mother."

I blinked. It was an abrupt change of subject, and it stunned me. "What? No, no, it's up to Bella. If Bella wants me to go, then I'll go. If she wants me in Forks, I'll stay."

Her eyes narrowed. "Didn't you hear what I told you? When Bella changes, that's it. Your life is over. Do you really want to stick around waiting to die? You can't spend your life waiting for Bella, because there isn't much time left."

"Are you sure?"

Alice smiled grimly. "Bella isn't an _old _vampire, Jen. In my visions she's young—young enough to pass for a high school student."

I put my head in my hands. "But there's so much left to do. Bella… Edward… they don't get their happy ending yet."

I looked up. Alice was smiling gently. "Nothing's going to happen for a while, I think. No nomads. No major revelations. When's the next important event in your 'timeline'?"

"September thirteenth. Bella's birthday."

"Your birthday, too," Alice reminded me. "Come back then. That gives you, what, six months of your own life?"

Some part of me wondered if I would continue living in the AU past the end of _Twilight. _Was this a one-off novel thing, or would I have to live the whole saga?

"I don't know, Alice. I need to think."

"Of course. Renee is coming to get you now." Alice stood up. "I don't think I broke the table too badly, do you?"

I looked at the fissure in the table, which seemed to be growing in length. "I don't think you _fixed _it, Alice."

She laughed a little, and I was grateful for her attempt to lighten the mood. "I'll see you soon, Jen."

She passed Renee on her way out. Renee was fumbling in her bag.

"I'm so sorry, Jen, I completely forgot you needed more painkillers."

I looked at the clock on the wall. "I didn't notice, and I wasn't in pain."

She passed me the pills. Using the cold dregs of my coffee, I gulped them down.

"Bella's awake."

"I guessed she was." I'd been blocking out her conversations with Edward and Renee for the past ten minutes. It was much easier now to do – I felt like I had more control over our link.

"Do you want to come see her? I thought you would be bashing down the door the moment she woke up."

"Does she want to see me?"

Renee hesitated. "She didn't say she did, but I'm sure she wants to."

I sighed. Today was a big day for important talks. "Mom, can you sit down for a second? I wanted to talk to you."

"Sure, honey." She sat down in Alice's seat. "Dang, this seat is cold."

I smirked. "Mom, I know I haven't always been the greatest daughter. Before I left Phoenix, I was a bit messed up."

Renee nodded with a small smile on her face. "Go on."

"I'm sorry for that. Sorry for making you worry, and making Bella and Charlie worry. I was…messed up."

Renee reached across the table and gripped my hand. 'Honey, it's okay. I understand these things. Hell, my teenage years were wild; I ended up married to your father!"

I laughed. "And look how well that turned out!"

She stuck her tongue out at me. "Shh, you. The point is, it doesn't matter whether you're a messed up basket case or the most perfect teenager in the world, I'm still going to worry about you. Sure, it's harder to worry when you're all the way over in Forks, but you're still the number one priority in my life, even if it doesn't seem that way sometimes."

"Thanks, Mom. I love you."

"I love you, too." Renee winked at me. "Now, even though you said that you were 'off boys', I'm sure there've been some hot guys in Forks. You need to tell me the goss!"

"Mom," I groaned, "Not in Forks! Seriously, I've spent more time avoiding the hospital and chasing after Bella to worry about boys!" Renee didn't need to know about Jacob, or my fleeting encounter with Mike. It was too embarrassing.

Renee quirked an eyebrow. "You know, that's exactly what Bella used to say to me."

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah…you'd think she'd know how much it sucks."

"You'd be surprised, Jenny. Really, you've got it easy. At least she's with a boy that's a little more… age appropriate."

I bristled. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Renee sighed. "I really didn't want to have to tell you about this, but… Mr. Andrews ended up transferring to a different school. So really, you could have stayed in Phoenix if you wanted to."

My mind was buzzing, and unsurprisingly, Bella was tuning in now.

_Mr. Andrews? Our English teacher?_

I groaned. "You know what happened in November, Mom?

Renee giggled. "Moms know everything, sweetie. I know it was probably embarrassing at the time, so I didn't bring it up. You were still in so much pain from the car accident, and you were like a zombie for months."

"Mom?" I tried to think of a way to ask without giving myself away. "I was…pretty messed up that night on stuff. I've tried to forget, mostly because it sucked, but I can't remember half of what happened to begin with."

She sighed. "I was afraid you'd hurt your head in the accident. Look, I knew you had a crush on Mr. Andrews. Everyone had a crush on him…even _I _thought he was attractive. But he was a young teacher straight out of college in his first semester at the school. You shouldn't have gone after him, Jenny."

A wave of nausea washed over me. _I had slept with an English teacher here, too?_

Memories of my old life in Australia had begun to fade, but I could still remember the most traumatic night of my life. The night I had gotten so drunk and drugged up that I slept with my English teacher had been the night I decided to turn my life around. Waking up in his bed had been horrifying.

It was almost as horrifying as what had happened next. Even if I couldn't remember what had happened in November, my subconscious did. It remembered getting lost in that dark alley, and the men who had tried to talk to me. I had run from them, stumbling and falling, unsure of whether they were friendly or sinister. The amount of times I had dreamt of that car swinging around the corner, only to realize now that it wasn't supposed to save me from the men. It was supposed to hit me and very nearly kill me, just as it had back in Australia.

Out of all the experiences I wanted to leave behind in my old life, that had been number one. But somehow, it had followed me like some parasite clinging to my existence. It seemed like I was stuck with all the experiences that had shaped me, including their consequences. I was just as stupid and messed up in the AU as I was in Australia.

"Jenny? Are you okay? You've gone pale."

I took a deep, shuddering breath. "Just feeling a bit sick from the drugs, Mom."

Renee dragged her chair around and put her hand to my head. It felt clammy.

"You feel awful. Maybe we should talk another time."

"No, Mom, it's okay. We need to talk about it." I looked into Renee's worried eyes. "How did you find out?"

"I guessed after they rang me from the hospital. Bella and I had been worried – usually you stayed out late, but never all night. I figured you had been with a boy. It wasn't until the school rang me a week later that I put the pieces together. Mr. Andrews had put in a class transfer request, and they put two and two together. They wanted you to leave…you know, a quiet exit."

"And you never thought to tell me?"

Renee looked at me with wide eyes. "I thought you knew! You were the one who announced that you wanted to go back to Forks. It was convenient for everyone. You couldn't stay at that school, and you were such a mess mentally. Bella volunteered to go with you, and I decided to go touring with Phil. I thought a break would be good… but now we can come back together, Jenny! A new start in a new city, fresh experiences, no baggage from the past! It will be perfect!"

Bella had been intruding on our conversation earlier, but her mind was now closed to me. I didn't have the energy to try to push through.

"Thanks for being understanding, Mom. I'll still need to talk to Bella, though. I can't make that decision right now."

She frowned. "Bella didn't seem enthusiastic about the idea; like I said, there's something _serious _going on with that boy."

"What if I said they were sort of a package deal?" I asked. "I think we're definitely stuck with Edward now."

"Is that a bad thing?" Renee asked. "You get along with him, right?"

I shrugged. "I guess. We have different ideas of what's good for Bella…but we both care about her. That's the main thing, right?"

"It can't be a bad thing." Renee stood up. "Come on, let's go see Bella. Visiting hours close soon, so we'll have to go stay in our hotel. No stairs, of course." She laughed as we walked towards Bella's room.

Bella's mind had opened up again. At first, I couldn't think of a reason why this would happen, until I heard her thoughts. She was angry.

"_Why didn't you let the venom change me?" Bella's voice shook. Her heart monitor began to beep louder._

"_I…I couldn't let you become one of us. Not yet, not that way. It's too soon." Edward was pleading with Bella. "What about your family? About Jenny?"_

Renee stopped, and I nearly crashed into her. Bella was angry with Edward about sucking the venom out? I hadn't expected her to be upset about it so quickly; I thought she would have been preoccupied with the 'almost dying' thing.

"We're here!" Renee announced. "I'll just let you go in. You can kick Edward out if you want. You have my permission." She winked.

As if Renee's permission would make a difference. "Thanks, Mom. See you soon."

I turned the handle of the door and entered. In the time between my vision of Bella and Edward fighting and me entering the room, Edward had warned Bella I was coming. He sat quite calmly in an armchair, while Bella lay in bed with her eyes closed.

"Bella?" I whispered. "Do you want me to go? I can come back another time…"

Her eyes flew open. "You heard us arguing, didn't you?"

I shrugged. "You broke the barrier you made in your head. I didn't do it on purpose."

Bella read the thought that was forming in my head. "Edward isn't leaving me. He's going to stay."

I bit my lip. "What the hell is wrong with you, Bella? Aren't you happy to see me?"

She looked at her hands. "I guess I am. I'm also mad at you."

Sighing, I said, "It's because I didn't listen to your letter, isn't it?"

"Amongst other things."

Really, I had no idea what kind of jerk mood she had woken up in. Why was she such a raging bitch? Couldn't she be at least a little grateful that we both survived?

"I'm sorry, Jenny. I'm just in a bad mood." Bella winced and put her hand to her head. "My brain still hurts."

She closed her eyes for a second then opened them quickly. "You're okay though, aren't you? I mean you're up and walking, but your arm's in a sling…"

"Shoulder reconstruction, broken arm. Not as bad as you though."

I looked over at Edward, who was glowering at me.

"What's your problem, Edward? You on the rag or something?"

I couldn't help but taunt him. His possessive, angry attitude was pissing me off.

"You let Bella go to James."

I rolled my eyes. "As if I _let_ her! I had to tackle her to the ground, and even broke a couple of ribs doing it, but she _still _went. Bella's not a child, Edward. She can make decisions on her own."

"I broke your ribs?" Bella asked incredulously.

I waved my hand at her. "I'm okay. The point is, I didn't do anything wrong. I did my best by Bella. So did you. It's not my job to chase Bella around and stop her from making stupid decisions, and it's not yours either."

Edward stood up, his eyes blazing. "Look at you talking about decisions. _All you do_ is chase Bella around, talking about your future knowledge, about what we should do!"

"Please stop talking about me as if I'm not here," Bella murmured.

Edward turned to her. "Bella, love, the deciding reason I didn't let you change into a vampire was because Jen told me not to. She screamed it at me."

"I was in pain, you douchebag! Of course I screamed it! I wanted the pain to end!" I looked at Bella and Edward, exasperated. "It's completely the wrong time! Besides, Edward still wouldn't have let the change happen, regardless of me."

"How do you know that?" Edward asked. "I could have let her change."

"But you weren't going to, regardless of what I said."

"Of course I wasn't going to let Bella change. I could have, but I didn't. Doesn't that count for anything?"

I groaned. "You're so difficult!"

"Edward?" Bella asked quietly. "Can you go for a minute? Go find Alice, or something. I want to talk to Jen."

"Bella, love—"

"Please, Edward."

Scowling, Edward stalked out of the room. I stuck my tongue out as he slammed the door behind him.

Bella sighed. "Jenny, you do realize I came out of a _coma _today? And that I'm really not feeling up to you and Edward's crap?"

"Sorry, Bella."

I went and sat carefully on the edge of Bella's bed. I grabbed her cool hand and squeezed.

"We did it, Bella. We survived James."

Bella smiled. "Yeah. I was pretty dumb running away like that. I should have listened to you."

I scoffed. "Are you kidding? I tried to prevent you from going into the studio _by standing by the door_. It was the stupidest thing I could have done!"

"Well, I was blocking you out, so it's not like you could do anything else. I should have trusted your knowledge." Bella closed her eyes and relaxed back against the pillow. "I don't care, okay? I don't care anymore about _how _you know everything. I've been around Alice and Edward long enough to know that some magic can't be explained."

I smiled. "That's good, Bella, because it's something I really can't explain."

There was a long silence between us, punctuated by the beeping of Bella's heart monitor. I stared around the room awkwardly.

"I heard what Alice said, you know," she said quietly. Her eyes were on me anxiously.

"You heard? About—"

"About how we both have to change or you'll die? Yeah, that."

"Have you—" I hesitated for a moment, "I—I mean, could that change your mind? Would you still want to change?"

Bella looked down at her hand in my grasp. "I don't know. Edward said that you were the one who insisted on preventing the change, and I'm glad you did now. At first, I was furious that I had come so close to what I wanted, but I hadn't really thought about the consequences."

"Edward won't change you yet. Not until after high school—"

The door swung open and Edward burst in. His eyes were blazing, and I shrunk away from him.

"You are _not_ having this conversation. Bella won't be changed, period."

Bella's lip trembled, and I patted her hand.

"This _was_ a private conversation, Edward. Just because you can hear us doesn't give you the right burst in and add your piece."

"You're overexerting her. The nurse is on her way."

I sighed. "Asshole."

"Jenny?" Bella asked.

"Yes, Bella?"

"I think you should go to Jacksonville with Mom."

"What?" I shook my head in disbelief. "You don't want me around?"

"I agree," Edward said, obnoxiously.

"Shut up, Edward," I said.

_It'll give you a chance to live your life for a while. Get away from thinking about my future, and maybe worry about yours for a bit. I mean…I still have time to decide. I'm not sure about anything any more. Do I want to be with Edward forever? Yes. Am I prepared to give you up? Never. He won't be changing me tomorrow, and there's no rush yet._

_There's never any rush, Bella. You don't have to change at all._

_Alice said it was set. I've never been one to bet against Alice. Besides, I can see your thoughts too, you know. You want to go to Jacksonville._

I gulped. "Are you sure, Bella? You won't let this creep boss you around while I'm gone?"

She smiled. "He isn't so bad."

_I'll be back you know, Bella_. _I'm not abandoning you._

_No, I'm kicking you out! Seriously, have fun in Jacksonville. I've been a crappy sister lately…consider this your reward. We can keep in touch… and it's what you want. It's time for you to get something you want. I've found Edward…and I hope you can find someone for you too._

I briefly remembered my flirtation with Jacob. Could that have a future? Or was there someone in Jacksonville for me?

Edward sighed. "Stop having conversations in your heads."

"It's the only way to keep them private, obviously!" I grumbled.

The nurse bustled in, pushing a trolley loaded up with needles and drugs. Lovely.

"There are too many people in here," she said imperiously. "This girl needs to rest."

"Of course," Edward said smoothly, "Jenny was just leaving now."

I gave him the finger.

"No, you both need to leave. She needs to sleep."

Bella certainly did look like she needed a good night's sleep. She was nodding off as we spoke.

Edward tried to convince the nurse to let him stay, but even Bella insisted that Edward should leave for a bit. This was already a different Bella to the one I read in the book. She wasn't needy or clingy after the encounter with James…she was stronger. That had to be my influence, right?

I left the two lovebirds to say their goodbyes, leaning against the wall outside. The drugs Renee had given me had well and truly kicked in, and my head was spinning a little. I closed my eyes and took deep breaths.

"Jen?" Edward asked. I opened my eyes and just about had a heart attack. His face was right up close to mine.

"Stop being creepy! I'm okay! I just need some food!"

"Sure," he said, stepping back.

I pushed myself away from the wall. "Why are you being so cranky towards me?"

Edward shrugged. "I don't know, really."

"Yes, you do. It's because of what I know."

The nurse poked her head outside the door. "Talking out here still counts as disturbing my patient."

"We were just going to the cafeteria." Edward told her, taking my good arm and steering me away.

As soon as we rounded the first corner, I pulled my arm away.

"What are you doing?" I asked angrily. "One minute you're angry at me, the next, you're fine."

Edward sighed. "I know it's probably difficult to understand, but you're probably the only reason Bella has to stay human. Sometimes, I find myself relying on you to convince her that becoming a vampire is not the right choice."

"Alice said she doesn't have a choice any more. Bella is going to change, whether she okays it or not."

"Not if I can help it," Edward growled. "Her vision can still change, Alice just doesn't want it to. She's obsessed at the idea of having Bella as part of the family."

Just like that, Edward was back to being angry and moody.

I sighed. "Wouldn't it be better if we just worked with the alternatives we've got? You know, try to make sure Bella's transition is smooth instead of…violent?"

"Becoming a vampire is a violent experience." Edward looked into my eyes. "Aren't you scared of what could happen to you? You could be changing your future too."

"I'll take it as it comes." I shrugged my good shoulder. "It seems like staying human isn't a long term option. I think I can deal with that."

"Don't you want to stay human?"

"Yes! Of course. Bella and I are different. There's no appeal in living forever for me. I'm not stupid though. Being around Bella and you has consequences. I'd rather Bella was changed than that she died, and I know she feels the same about me."

Edward shook his head, running his hands through his hair. "I can't believe how close I came to losing her."

"If she was one of you, you wouldn't have to worry."

"I couldn't risk her soul for me," he whispered.

I groaned. "I've had enough of this," I said. "I want to eat, and I want to go to the hotel. Just promise me something, Edward? Promise you won't be a complete douchebag and leave Bella for her own safety. It won't work, and you'll end up hurting each other more."

"I'll leave her if that's what it takes to keep her safe. I love her too much to let her throw her life away for me."

I groaned. "There's just no arguing with you, is there? I'm going now, Edward."

Turning, I started walking towards the cafeteria. Edward didn't follow me, for which I was very grateful.

On my way, I ran into the nurse who had been in Bella's room talking to Renee.

"Oh!" Renee said, "There you are, sweetie! The nurse was saying that Bella has gone to sleep, so we might as well go get some dinner. What do you feel like?"

I grinned. "Mom, I've decided. I'm going to come live with you in Jacksonville."

"Oh, baby!" She threw her arms around me. "It's going to be wonderful, you, me, Bella and Phil—"

"Bella isn't coming, Mom. She wants to stay in Forks, with Edward."

"Oh?" Renee drew back. "That serious, huh?"

"Yeah," I grimaced. "Looks like it is. Besides, we're both seventeen. It's time for me to learn to live without Bella, right? And for her to learn to cope without me?"

She smiled. "Independence isn't a bad thing, you know."

I poked my tongue out. "Also, I feel like McDonalds."

"McDonalds it is."

* * *

_I wish I could say that was the end of my adventures, that I went to Jacksonville with Renee, and Bella went back to Forks with Edward, and we all got our happy ending. That could never happen though. There were too many events set in motion that hadn't been resolved, and I knew too much to let them happen without trying to stop them. When Alice said I should make the most of my life while I still had it, I listened to her. She also said that I would have to go back to Forks._

_She wasn't wrong._

* * *

I still have an epilogue that I have written up my sleeve. I'll probably be posting that sometime closer to when I start the sequel. I already have it mapped out in my head, and I'm starting it today. YES I START WRITING THE SEQUEL TODAY.

Thank you to all those who have followed me right from the start. I hope I've answered all your questions. If I haven't (and I know there are a few loose ends), they'll be in the epilogue. I guarantee it. :) Your reviews, support and questions have encouraged me to keep writing even when I've lacked motivation or been sick with the plague. Sequel is coming, don't worry! Thank you.

Jess xoxoxox


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